для читателей старше 18 лет
As Teresa of Calcutta once said: “People lack love much more than bread, and this hunger is the strongest hunger”.
But at the same time we are afraid to love, because love makes us vulnerable and defenceless.
We are afraid to be rejected, to feel the pain, to have our hearts broken.
In the era of lives on display in social networks, we want to be successful at any cost.
Our greatest fear is to fail, so we disguise ourselves in the clothes of success and upload photos of artificial celebrations of life on our pages with nothing but emptiness behind them.
It’s so easy to pretend to be strong and have a meaningful life online while hiding behind a beautiful mask.
Love, however, is always about your soul being open and even naked. Love brings pain and pleasure all at the same time.
It’s like flying in the clouds, when you can’t see where you’re going and don’t know where the wind will take you.
You can either go to heaven, or fall back down to earth. Even the clouds themselves come in different kinds. There are thunderclouds, cirrus clouds and heap clouds.
Some of them are softer than feathers, other are heavy and leaden.
And they can, like a tornado, sweep away everything that’s in their path. Everyone has his own love and his cloud.
In our times, the whole world is entangled in the global web of the Internet, which, like a huge cloud of chaos, gives birth to many things.
Some of them unite and divide people at the same time. However, in the same chaos, in the same cloud, like Aphrodite from the foam, love is born.
This online love can connect people from the most remote parts of the world. It connects people of different races, religions, cultures and ages.
A few decades ago these people would have never been able to communicate and wouldn’t even know about each other, and now they chat, cheer, suffer, wait and love together.
Moreover, that love is absolutely real. It’s the same as before, it’s as old as the world, and at the same time, it’s brand new! And most importantly, it’s true love!
After all, it doesn’t matter where it’s born, online or in real life, it will always remain the jewel of human life.
When I say: “I love you”,
I’ll be the book you’ve never read,
The song you’ve never sung,
The kiss you’ve never tasted…Board of Wisdom
It was the voice of the stewardess that pulled her away from her thoughts: “Can I help you?”. Nina turned her head and saw a man sitting beside her, trying to fasten the belt, which didn’t want to wrap around his plump stomach.
The flight attendant helped the man, flicking the extending strap with a professional gesture. Nina thought about the inconveniences that this neighbour may cause, when she, for example, would need to go to the WC and would ask the man to let her pass by.
She quickly glanced over his oversized belly and thought that she’d never been with a large man before, but didn’t let this thought develop, turned away and stared in the window again.
The plane entered dense clouds, and nothing else was visible apart from a thick milky fog outside the window. What a troubling state of uncertainty!
Her land with its towns, forests and rivers was left far below the plane, while above it there was a bright blue sky with a shining sun!
Yet now there was only fog and uncertainty outside and so in her life.
“Will he show up this time?” thought Nina and remembered the previous two times when he didn’t…
In fact, the idea to meet in real life came up in one of their conversations after a year of chatting online.
After a year, which Nina had lived like in fever from the constant with him through pictures, messages and calls.
Love hit her like a tsunami, and it was even more powerful than her old real first love.
It was about sleepless nights of chatting, and then, offline, music, music, music… and trembling from thoughts and fantasies.
It was so real that it seemed that the air around became thicker and more, so to speak, velvety and it was all love!
And it was suffocating her so that she almost couldn’t breathe anymore. It seemed to her that she suddenly had wings and that even if she jumped from the top of some high tower, she wouldn’t fall, but fly…
Moreover, while at work, Nina was constantly thinking about him.
He also sent her short messages during the day saying: “How are you? Where are you? What are you doing? I love you’”
These simple primitive messages in English which was native neither to him nor her drove her crazy. They pierced her like a lightning, down to the toe, she was trembling when she saw the cherished avatar with a green light of activity in the chat, and she felt butterflies in her stomach.
His name “Ismael” sounded like sweet music to her. And his full name was Ismael Aziz.
She once asked what his childhood short name was. He said: “Soma”.
“May I call you Soma?” asked Nina. She wanted to caress him somehow despite of the distance between them! As she couldn’t touch him with her hands, she could at least caress him with words, intonation, with the name his mother called him.
It was a maternal feeling in Nina, because he was a very young boy of eighteen years, and she was more than mature...it was even scary to say it out loud, she was fifty-four.
In addition, this void that divided them, this abyss of time seemed to her to be an irreparable misfortune, a black hole into which she was slowly and steadily falling.
Until then Nina was proud of her age, the fact that she was already a mother and even a grandmother, that she had succeeded in life and had a lot of victories in her artistic and professional lives, and, most importantly, the way she looked (forty years, no one could have given more).
However, now her age seemed to be a curse. She actually deleted her age from all her social media pages leaving only the day and the month.
How did that happen to her? Was it due to loneliness that she fell in love like a girl? No! There was someone beside her.
It was a man with whom she lived together for nine years. He was also younger than her, but the gap wasn’t that huge.
Their common friend have never even noticed the difference. Lately, Nina even started looking younger. She noticed it while looking through their photos. It was just that he became bald with years, and had a beer belly, though he was still full of energy and, like all southern men, was a great lover.
So how did this boy appear in her life?
"...So much time has passed. Aladdin has turned fifteen. And once, when he was playing with other boys, as usual, a dervish, a wandering monk, approached them. He looked at Aladdin and said to himself: “He’s the one I’m looking for. I’ve been through a lot of misery, before finally finding him.”
This dervish was maghribian of the Maghreb. He called one of the boys with the gesture of his hand and asked him who Aladdin was and who was his father. He then approached Aladdin and said to him: “Aren’t you the son of Hassan?”
“I am,” replied Aladdin…”
“The magic lamp of Aladdin”. It was Nina’s favourite fairy tale. The name of this tale always made her heart beat faster and awakened her imagination, and she started feeling somewhat hot in her chest… Nina even wrote a poem about the feeling.
It’s worth mentioning that she wrote poems from time to time about the most powerful and important feelings, since she was used to writing for a newspaper, when she studied in an art college.
In the land of winds and snow
Where nights are dark and damp
My heart warms up with the glow
Of Aladdin’s magic lamp
As the Genie waits to serve me,
Make my wishes come alive
Eastern winds are gently blowing
And the land begins to thrive,
And to touch the flow of cashmere
You just need to make a step.
All the happiness is near
With Aladdin’s magic lamp.
And this “happiness” suddenly fell on her head, and Aladdin appeared in her life, though under a different name, but very close to this fabulous character in age. An eastern boy from a distant Arab country… As if on a magic carpet, he flew into her calm and measured world.
Nina had never enjoyed hanging out in social networks, although she did have several accounts there. She visited them from time to time to chat with family and friends and strictly for business matters.
However, the time had come and the issue of the increase of sales was raised in her company, so it was decided that all employees had to create personal business groups in popular social networks for product promotion.
Nina decided to go for Facebook. To do this, she started a personal page there and created a business group. In her profile she posted several photos of her and interesting posts. Then it began!
As if from the Horn of plenty, a lot of friend requests started coming to her page, mostly from men Arab and Turk.
At the beginning, Nina welcomed all, remembering her goal: to fill the group with subscribers.
She soon noticed, however, that among those men who had sent her requests, were a lot of anxious youngsters with hormones “blowing the roof” and explicit maniacs with improper proposals and photos, as well as Internet scammers trying to involve mature women into emotional relationships and then stealing their money.
Nina quickly figured out “Who is who” and ignored such proposals, blocking the most shameless and pushy of them.
The boy had also sent her a friend request and Nina pressed the “confirm” button without even looking. After some time, she received a saucy message from him. Nina did not respond. When he sent improper messages several more times, she automatically removed him from the friends list.
But the boy didn’t give up and continued sending her provocative photos and messages. Before finally blocking him, Nina decided to look through his profile.
She attentively examined the young face on his avatar photo. His big sad eyes were as if looking into her soul. Nina was somewhat hurt by his look. In his eyes there was purity and pain.
Yes, indeed, there was purity, in spite of his indecent messages. But the pain-why? How can there be pain at such a young age?
Nina read his personal info: eighteen years old, studies in college, lives in Cairo, the capital of Egypt. Nina somehow didn’t expect him to be from Egypt.
It immediately reminded her of the Golden mask of Tutankhamun, which she saw in reality, many years ago in St. Petersburg (then called Leningrad), where an exhibition of art objects from the tomb of this pharaoh was hosted, brought from Cairo Museum.
Nina, then being a schoolgirl, stood in front of the mask and was amazed by the beauty and detachment of the boy-pharaoh’s face. She suddenly felt as if his face became alive and started changing its expression in the blinding glare of gold.
His almond eyes were staring at her…
Then she read about him all that she could find.
It struck her that he had died at the age of nineteen, a wreath of field-flowers was found in his tomb, and then almost all the scientists involved in the opening of the tomb died shortly afterwards…
What amused Nina the most were the details of the wreath: it was a small wreath laid on the forehead of the golden funerary mask of the pharaoh.
It consisted of leaves and flowers of cornflower, fruits of poppy, and fruit of the mandragora, all of which contributed to the pharaoh’s libido during his lifetime.
They were the flowers of love, laid on the coffin by his young widow, Ankhesenamun, who, by the way, was the daughter of Nefertiti.
Ankhesenamun believed that she will meet her husband again in the afterlife and therefore she wanted him to want her alone even there…
While Nina was thinking about Tutankhamun, she continued looking through the photos on the boy’s page. His name Ismael was of Muslim origin, he had a beautiful white face, dark curly hair and expressive brown eyes.
And one more detail: a small mole above his upper lip. It made his face look more tender and Nina had never seen a young man with such moles.
There were a lot of photos where he was depicted both alone and with his friends, dark-skinned Egyptian teens, in his profile. Nevertheless, he was so different from them! His whole appearance was full of some nobility and depth.
All the innocence and purity was mixed with maturity and pain in his appearance.
Apart from his personal ones, there were many photos of famous football players and football teams in his profile. Remembering his horny messages, Nina decided that this boy was only interested in football and sex.
She was ready to press the “block” button, but changed her mind and wrote him a message.
She asked about his family, wondering, if he had brothers or sisters, where he was studying and what kinds of interests he had. A reply message came shortly afterwards.
He replied in a serious and simple manner, without any vulgarity. So that’s how their communication began.
Nina told him about her work and the fact that she had a civil husband. In his response, he told her that he was the youngest child in the family and that after finishing school, which he already had finished; he planned to help his father with his business.
In paradise of love
They began to chat every day. They have talked about everything: about their countries, customs and traditions, about sports, about presidents, about religions, Islam and Christianity, about the expedition to Mars… and of course, about the relations between men and women.
Nina felt and understood that it was the topic of his greatest interest. Well, that was logical, since at his age, when puberty hits the most, boys tend to think about sex all the time.
He asked her questions in a delicate way, he wanted to get information from an experienced adult woman. He was still innocent. Girls wouldn’t hang out with boys before marriage in his country.
Nina provided him with answers and insensibly fell for him. She was looking forward to their dialogs. She was glad when he appeared in the chat and greeted her with a short “Hey!”.
“Let’s talk?” he asked, and Nina felt like her heart had skipped a beat and happiness was growing inside it.
“Yes!” she used to answer and the conversation would begin. Though their chats were very simple, they meant a lot to Nina.
It was interesting to her to study an international internet language of the youth, which the boy used, as well as all these English acronyms and abbreviations.
For her, a mature woman who grew up in the pre-Internet era, all of this would never have been possible to learn if he wouldn’t appear in her life.
She received this knowledge from him and was proud of that. Despite of her mature age she managed to keep up with modern trends. That made her feel younger.
The boy also received the information which he wanted.
What was more important, of course, wasn’t that information, but what was growing between them, the bond connecting their hearts across thousands of kilometres.
What was that bond? Was it love? When was that word said aloud in their conversations for the first time? And how did it happen?
One day, while chatting with the boy long past the midnight, Nina suddenly remembered that the next day she had to wake up early to a busy day, so she needed to go to sleep urgently!
Her civil husband would already be sleeping peacefully behind a cupboard in their rented one-room flat. He didn’t pay attention to Nina’s stays by the laptop.
He didn’t even know about raging passions that took place there. She tried not to disturb him and lit the room with the dim light of the table lamp. When they had audio-calls in the messenger, she would go to the kitchen and firmly close the door.
Nina tried to say goodbye to Ismael, explaining why she needed to go to sleep. After a long argument, he had finally agreed with her “Good night”.
She wrote: “Bye, kiss you on the cheek”.
“But I kiss you on the lips,” he answered with a kiss emoji. Nina sat motionless and sent him a question mark.
“I love you,” said Ismael.
Nina couldn’t type anything. She felt confused, happy, delighted and terrified at the same time. She felt him by her side so realistically, as if he was touching her with his fingers. Her throat immediately dried up.
“Do you love me?” he asked.
Nina began to type something with her shaking hands. Her fingers became sweaty and wouldn’t respond. She was typing and deleting her message, again and again… He was waiting patiently. Later on, he sent her a question mark, demanding immediate answer.
“Give it to me straight. Do you love me?”
For whatever reason, Nina sent him a line from a song by the Russian singer Maxim: “My gentle boy, forgive my trembling…", translated into English by Google.
“Do you love me????” he asked impatiently.
“Yes,” wrote Nina, as if whispering that word.
“Tell me that you love me!”
“I love you,” she wrote. It seemed to her that those letters were on fire. They were burning her, flaming on the laptop screen.
“I love you very much!” Ismael wrote in response, “and I will love you until the last day of my life!”
In reality, after this kind of confession, people would hug and kiss. However, there were only words written on the screen…
Nina felt dizzy, everything was floating before her eyes and it was impossible to breathe. She was shaking. It was even more intense and brighter than the real confession of her first true love.
She didn’t sleep that night. She had been chatting with the boy the whole night through. Then he called her and she took the laptop to the kitchen and spoke to him, until her alarm clock went off, marking the time to get up.
During their conversation, Nina heard noises in his house and outside his window in Egypt, such as a baby crying, birds singing, dogs barking.
It was so weird, as if there weren’t thousands of miles separating them. It was spring, mid-May. It seemed to her as if they were sitting side by side, embracing each other and greeting the dawn…
After that the intoxication of love began. They spoke every night and sent each other romantic pictures and music: Arabic, Russian and Western love songs. They taught each other their native languages, he taught her Arab and she Russian to him.
They learned to pronounce the words of love in each other’s native languages.
He wrote her every day, over and over again, that he loved and missed her, that they love each other and should be together. He promised to come to Moscow to meet her…
He then began to ask her about her husband. When they were finishing their chats at nights, he would say to her how jealous he was when she went to bed with him. Nina told him that when she was sleeping with her husband, she imagined her beloved boy in his place…
One day, Nina complained that her husband was drunk and tortured her with his demands.
“I will come and kill him!” he wrote quickly, and Nina felt frantic energy of jealousy and anger that came through the laptop screen and thought: “This Arab boy, like a little beast, will show his teeth!” Yet at the same time, she liked his fervour.
Nina often wondered why that boy loved her, an adult woman who is old enough to be his mother? She read a lot of psychological articles on the subject, which stated that that kind of attraction to adult women existed mostly in two cases: either the boy had a difficult relationship with his mother, or a very low self-esteem. That was odd… However, he never said anything about his parents, about his mother. Nina asked him to send a photo of his parents once, but he simply ignored that request.
Why did she, Nina, fall in love with that boy? After all, she had a husband and sex and male attention.
Was it a maternal feeling? No, Nina knew that she didn’t perceive him as a son. She looks at him as at a very romantic young man… That was it! She was lacking that romance in her life! She wanted all the beautiful words, poems, colours, the sensation of the flight! What she doesn’t have with her husband. And had never had…
And yet, even if everything can be explained from a psychological point of view, one thing still remained a mystery: why him?
Nina had over a thousand friends on Facebook, both young and of a more mature age. Moreover, almost all of them started chats with her. However, as a rule, after the initial several phrases Nina didn’t support further communication with anyone.
She was just not interested. Nina believed that the boy was sent to her from Heaven. However, the reason was yet unknown.
At the moment, they have been simply enjoying each other and couldn’t break away from each other. It was the best period of their relationship, it was absolute happiness!
However, his constant presence in Nina’s life soon became a great inconvenience for her.
Firstly, she wanted to be alone sometimes, just listen to music, read the news online, chat with friends, and secondly, her husband was completely abandoned, she almost didn’t talk to him at all. If they did talk, it was only something about everyday things, and Nina was thinking about the boy at the same time.
The boy caught her online as soon as she came on. Nina soon realized that this couldn’t go on anymore. She told him that they needed to cut down on their communication, due to how her constant presence on the Internet aggravated her relationship with her husband.
All in all, they can’t be together because of a significant age gap, so it’s better not to get used to each other.
He was surprised and offended. It was the first stumbling stone between them, which triggered an avalanche of rapid deterioration of their relationship.
Cloudless happiness, openness and sincerity ended forever. Their paradise of love collapsed. What started was a period of alienation, pain, insults and then forgiveness, rapprochement and a short happiness of love, yet now with a touch of resentment and tears. It went on and on in a new round of tormenting each other.
They both were in constant tension. However, without this voltage, all of that would have probably stopped long ago, being boring and monotonous. The tension arose from the detachment and subsequent rapprochement. It was a long cycle of alienation and a short one of happiness of being together again.
Then the cycle repeated itself. It was only that the detachment was growing longer with each cycle, and happiness would shorten…
What was that detachment, and why did it occur?
Nina had a long-time friend Boris, her former colleague. They’d met fifteen years ago at the school where he worked as a teacher of the Russian language, and Nina then organized children’s holidays. Their paths have been different since those times.
Nina started working in a different field, and Boris stayed. However, despite this, they kept in touch in social networks and their communication has recently become more active because of the theme of detachment, which worried them both.
Boris had been long married and had a teenage daughter. Nina was familiar with his wife and believed their alliance to be very strong. Yet recently, she was surprised to find out that he had divorced.
Nina wanted to express sympathy, but Boris told her that he was happy and had found new love. He gave Nina a hint that she’ll be among one of the first to be invited to his wedding. So little by little, they started talking and their chats became more frequent and trustful.
Boris was a very interesting and enthusiastic person. He enjoyed “living history” and was a member of a historical reconstruction club, which focused on the Medieval Russia of X — XIII centuries. The members of this club reconstructed the lifestyle, art, and craft of Medieval Russia.
They were crafting leather, fabric, making authentic costumes and decorations, and utensils, weapons, musical instruments. They were learning ancient languages, sang hymns and epics.
They went to different places and festivals, where members of similar clubs from other cities and even other countries gathered. They lived in tents there, cooked over a fire, danced and sang.
In this club, Boris met his new love, Nadia. She was an accountant, and used to sing old songs in a vocal ensemble in the club. She was forty years old; she was the same age as Boris.
Nevertheless, if Boris had already been experienced in family life, Nadia had never been married. She had plenty of unsuccessful love affairs in her life, as well as no children. A spark ran between Nadia and Boris immediately, and they fell in love with each other.
They started dating, spent time together in the club and outside of it, and couldn’t live without each other. Boris was in seventh heaven, it seemed to him that he had found his destiny and he soon proposed to Nadia.
However, Nadia rejected his proposal and suddenly distanced herself from him. She didn’t explain anything, just stopped talking to him, didn’t respond to his messages and calls. If they had been inseparable before, they now went home separately, not even looking at each other.
Boris didn’t know what to think. He couldn’t talk to Nadia, since she avoided him and didn’t even let him near. Darkness came into his life, as if black clouds had covered the sun forever.
A week had passed, another one, and Nadia suddenly smiled at him when they met and was the first to speak to him. Then it went on as if there had not been such alienation. She was, just as before, laughing at his jokes, taking his hand, and they were walking home together after the rehearsal at the club.
Boris decided not to try talking about it again, he was too afraid to frighten off this state of happiness, as a patient, who just got rid of his sharp pain, tries not to make any sudden moves and walks with caution, fearing that the pain may return again.
They soon went with the club to a festival of martial arts. There Nadia was inseparable with Boris, looked after him and literally fed him with her hands. Boris was happy. In that manner, two months of non-stop communication had passed.
In the days when they didn’t see each other, they were like teenagers, constantly exchanging messages. Nadia was indeed like a little girl, and Boris protected her and took care of her.
She could call him late in the evening and say: “Tell me a story!” And he wrote her fairy tales until she fell asleep…
However, that happiness didn’t last long. For no reason, Nadia distanced herself once more from him. And the avoidance and his despair began again.
Therefore, two years passed with periods of flaming passion and then of chilling cold.
Nadia used to distance herself about once in two or three months, suddenly ceasing to speak, write, call, and pushed Boris away. He used to wonder, why? Even she couldn’t explain her behaviour at that time.
“I don’t know,” she said. Boris reacted in different ways, depending on how she did it. He either tried to be near, or kept his distance and endured.
“I know now,” he told Nina, “that, in the end, it will be over… But I’m bloody afraid that one day she may never come back…”
“Have you asked her how she feels in such moments?” asked Nina. She was worried about this topic because, she too, had a similar experience with the boy and wanted to know at least something about it, even though another person’s experience.
“Nadia feels deep loneliness,” replied Boris, “and I become a stranger to her. It’s painful for her. She suffers and cries into the pillow at night…”
“What do you think, why is she doing this?” Nina asked.
“Try to understand, people used to hurt her a lot…” began Boris, “this is understandable, she’s scared, she’s scared that I’ll leave her. Besides, she was used to living alone…”
“It’s clear that nothing is clear,” thought Nina.
“But I don’t lose hope… After all, she’s my hope!” he finished.
The Hell of love
“No, my boy has something else,” thought Nina. “Some inner pain gnaws at him and he splashes it out on me, hurting me”.
Nina didn’t understand what was wrong with her boy, what was going on in his life. Why was he experiencing such pain, that to reduce it, he had to hurt others?
He cruelly insulted her a few times. Once, during one of the next intimacy and happiness periods, when they were caressing each other with words of love and when their conversation took an erotic turn, the boy asked Nina to send him photos of her naked breasts.
Nina was furious and exploded with anger. However, he was asking for it, like a man, dying of thirst in the desert, asks for a sip of water, and Nina gave up.
She took a picture in front of the mirror, covering herself with a flowing sheer fabric and revealing a part of her breast. He liked the photo; he complimented her and calmed down for some time.
But then he started asking and then demanding more and more of them. Nina had to uncover larger areas of her body. However, he had never sent his intimate photos. Nina decided to end that injustice. She told him that either she would stop sending him photos, or he had to send his in return.
He protested, saying that he couldn’t take that kind of pictures because his parents could enter the room at any moment. Then Nina refused to send her photos and ceased to answer his calls and messages.
After a pause, that took a couple of days, she entered the chat and found a very offensive message from him. He called her an old whore and wrote many other offensive words. Nina thought she was blind when she read the message.
A black dagger of betrayal pierced her back, and the earth opened up under her feet, as she fell into the abyss. She felt like a candle burning under an open sky and an evil wind had put it’s flames out, so that there was only darkness.
It felt like death… If even such a close and beloved man could betray, who and what could she believe? What could she rely on? She wanted to write him something in response, not knowing what to say yet, but was unable to open the page. He had blocked her!
It was another knife in her back. She had read or heard somewhere about how eastern men could betray, that it was okay to give a rose with one hand and keep a dagger in the other one behind the back. However, Nina couldn’t associate that with him, her little boy, her little birdy, as she liked to gently call him…
When the initial shock had passed, Nina began to wonder what made him do that to her. Oddly enough, the word “old” hurt her the most, since she knew that it was true. Indeed, she was a mature woman to him.
Although in her nude photos she could give odds to many young girls, her body was gorgeous and was glowing with mature beauty. However, the abyss of time, which divided them, was still present.
Nevertheless, why did he never show her his body? Due to his virginity and modesty? He wasn’t shy, however, and his sexual fantasies could have easily been a part of any contemporary erotic novel.
Sometimes Nina was surprised, how she as a grown woman and not a nun, indeed, didn’t know the many things that her boy told her. Of course, this awareness was due to the Internet and porn sites, which become part of modern boys’ life pretty early…
Trying to unravel the cause of such aggressive behaviour, Nina started to look through all his pictures that she had. She noticed that in all the photos (and basically they were all selfies), there was only his face or he was captured from the waist up.There were no full-sized photos or photos with his legs. Why? After all, if he loved football and played it with his friends, as he claimed, it would be logical to see him in photos in sports gear, cleats and ball. All the boys, who play football, have such pictures.
“What if he’s disabled or has a problem with legs?!” a horrifying thought came across Nina’s mind. “And football is just his fantasy, the impossible dream…”
That would explain a lot: this pain in his eyes and that inexplicable anger, because he didn’t want to show her his body, and she kept putting pressure on him…
Nina then looked at their relationship from a different angle… Truly, she had never seen him. She only had photos and had heard his voice. He never asked her to chat via Skype or video. However, Nina herself didn’t want to.
She believed that the camera, firstly, distorted the image, and secondly, emphasized all the imperfections and wrinkles. She could see it clearly when skyping with her daughter. But if he had some physical imperfection, would she love him as before, is she knew about it?
Nina imagined different scenarios and thought about how she would react. Would she want to continue their relationship if it was true. Her heart ached with pity for him, but the offense was stronger. Nina decided that no matter what he had no right to insult her, and he couldn’t be forgiven.
Meanwhile, the time went on and she still couldn’t access his profile. The second week of their alienation came to an end… Nina was going crazy from longing and uncertainty. She knew that she just longs for communication that she was used to.
Nevertheless, she had almost forgiven him. His painful words had almost erased from her memory, especially since she immediately deleted the offensive message and had never had the opportunity to read it again.
Nina had nothing that she could do, she didn’t know how to get in touch with him, and his Facebook profile was closed to her. However, at the same time it had positive aspects, because it didn’t let her do anything stupid in the moments of severe depression.
A few more days passed by and suddenly an anticipated message from Ismael came to her account. It sounded just like before, as if there had been no insults, blocking or silence.
“Hey, how are you?” he wrote, “My account wasn’t working and I couldn’t text you. I’ve finally fixed it now.” And no regret for the insulting words.
It was strange for Nina to read that… How could he speak just like before, when she went through so much pain and such a betrayal? When her stable world had fallen into pieces?
She asked him: “Why did you write such words to me?”
“Don’t bear that in mind!” was all that he answered.
Nina tried to explain him her offense and said that she could only forgive him once, and if he would offend her again, she would break all connections with him. However, his only answer was: “Don’t worry!”
And somehow, unexpectedly for Nina, everything went back to normal. He was gentle again and spoke of love. Nina remained silent, yet her heart started melting away, after all, she loved him, and blamed his age for his offensive message, as he was still a child and had no experience with women. And the thought of his possible disability was tearing her apart…
They were back again in the happy times of love, but this case became a precedent of any such future insults and blocking from his side.
Their next major argument took place soon afterwards. The boy once went online on a Saturday night, when Nina wasn’t alone, as her husbands’ nephew with his wife came to visit them, and Nina was working in the kitchen.
She told him that she couldn’t talk at the moment and offered him to continue the conversation later. But he asked her to take photos with the guests and send them to him. The boy was very curious and wanted to know how and with whom Nina was spending time.
Nina took a moment and photographed the guests. The guests and her husband were smiling into the camera. She sent the photo to Ismael. After some time he wrote a mean message.
He asked about husband’s nephew and asked why this guy was looking at her.
“There can’t be any doubt, you are sleeping with him!”
Nina was offended; she said that his jealousy knew no bounds. To which he responded offensively, and blocked her again.
Nina was offended and hurt. Now there was another, new feeling of rage and anger. She decided that she would never return to him, even if he begged on his knees!
Nina was in this state of anger for a few more days. She decided to spend less time on social networks. And if it wasn’t for her business page, she would never return there. Still, she had to do it, and when she went there, she automatically read the messages from new and old friends and answered them.
It’s been a few days. Nina once went online to check her page and saw a new friend request. It was someone under the name of Yasser Abdullah from Algeria.
She paid attention to the profile. There were no personal photos, just a picture of a white galloping horse without a rider, the same photo that she sent the boy. In their conversations it was a photo of a girl-rider that represented the “girl-rider” sex-pose.
The background of the profile was a photo of a key-wallet with pendants in shapes of a man and a woman, but the female one was missing. There were no personal photos, only some of nature and some romantic pictures with flowers, candles, kissing couples…
A red bulb with a “Caution!” sing immediately appeared in Nina’s mind. She accepted the request and remained waiting for something to happen. It started off with tender, romantic messages. This Yasser was an interesting person, and they had discussed plenty of themes. They had talked about politics and religion, art, fashion, perfumes, colours.
He surrounded Nina with a cloud of love and adoration. He sent her beautiful songs in Arabic and French. He wished her a good day each morning and good night each evening. He sent her romantic pictures and photographs.
He only wouldn’t send his photos. Moreover, had never called her. He explained that he wanted to be Mr. Incognito for Nina, as it would be so mystical and romantic! Nina long had an idea of who Yasser Abdullah was, but pretended to trust everything he wrote.
She was also intrigued by the game, especially since the profile of Ismael was closed to her. She told Yasser her love story with the boy, and that they broke up.
Yasser showed deep understanding and psychologically went through the whole situation. He tried to comfort her. For Nina, it was consoling and explained her what had happened.
They kept on talking every day about some very intimate things. In addition, although he wrote very differently, in a different manner and style, in other words, but Nina still noticed from time to time that he used some familiar figures of speech. He even sometimes touched the issues that they had discussed with the boy only, and that no one else could have known. All that convinced Nina about the truth her guesses. So one day, she forced him to reveal himself.
They have been chatting, as always. He suddenly asked: “What is the colour of your underwear right now?”
“Try to guess!” answered Nina.
“Black, white, pink…” he started guessing.
“it’s pink,” said Nina.
“Really? I won’t believe until I see it myself! Send me a photo of your pink panties!” Yasser asked.
“Don’t you even dream about it!” wrote Nina and sent a laughing smiley.
“Please, please, please!” he started to beg.
“You know, if you were Ishmael, I would’ve sent you this photo,” wrote Nina. And immediately added: “Ismael, I know it’s you! Ismaeeel!”
That was followed by silence, apparently these words surprised him. Then he wrote:
“Yes, it’s me. Now we’re together again!”
Nina was overjoyed, her heart was madly beating and she asked him a lot of questions about why he was doing it, blocking her from his profile and writing under another name. He told her that his account wasn’t working, but he missed her a lot, so he wanted to be with her. He suddenly suggested:
“I want to meet you in real life. Let’s meet, for example, in Turkey or Tunisia, and we’ll have a week of happiness!”
“Why not in Egypt?” Nina was surprised, “or are you afraid that we’ll come across any of your friends?!”
“No, I’m not afraid,” he said, “I just want to meet you in another country.”
“OK, but how will it happen?” Nina asked. She didn’t expect such a twist.
“Pick a hotel, buy a tour for yourself, and I, too, will come to this hotel at the same time…”
They were texting all night and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They were imagining the meeting. Nina had thousands of questions. What would he tell his parents? Could he book himself a room? After all, considering the law of Egypt and some other countries, he was still underage! Where would he get the money from, since he was not yet working?