Бесплатный фрагмент - A littel book of nonsence

I

There was a young fellow of Kansas

Who couldn’t remember the Lancers; When they’d got half way through
He’d forget what to do,

Which flummoxed the rest of the dancers

II

There was an old man of Sheerness, Who invited a friend to play chess; But he’d lent all the pieces To one of his nieces, And stupidly lost her address

III

There was an old fellow of Trent, Who sold little boxes of scent; But they said to him «Smell them Yourself ere you sell them!» Which made him feel far from content

IV

There was an old fellow called Cox, Who tried to jump over the rocks; But they said «Poor old feller, He has come a smeller, And look at the holes in his socks!»

V

There was a young fellow of Treves, Who met with a watery grave; There was nobody nigh To attend to his cry As he sank ’neath the swallowing wave

VI

There was a young fellow of Cadiz, Who said «What a blessing Free Trade is; But it’s not my ambition To turn politician — So let’s go and talk to these ladies.»

VII

There was a young man of Athlone, Who was trying to ride like Tod Sloan; But a brute of a bee So bewildered his gee That he hardly escaped being thrown

VIII

There was a young fellow of Brill, Who supported the Parliament Bill; But he’d larger ideas For reforming the Peers, And suggested a better way still

IX

There was an old fellow of Derry, Who loved to see every one merry; So he asked them to tea At a mulberry tree, And gave them some excellent sherry

X

There was a young fellow of Sark Who wandered about in the Park
When the constable said He’d be better in bed He replied «I’m afraid of the dark.»

XI

There was a young fellow of Sherborne, Who would go to church in a turban; When they put him outside He politely replied That he thought their ideas were suburban

XII

There was an old fellow of Reading, Who went to his granddaughter’s wedding; When they asked for a present He tried to look pleasant, But said «This is what I was dreading.»

XIII

There was a young housemaid at Ashdown, Who strained herself pulling the sash down; Being duly insured, She was months being cured, But the doctor insisted on cash down

XIV

There was an old girl of Carstairs, Whose villa required some repairs; When she asked if the plumber Could finish next summer, He said he should be there for years

XV

There was a young lady of Bude, Who frequently painted the nude; So that some of her pictures Invited the strictures Of many an ignorant prude

XVI

There was an old man of Baroda, Who said, «I perceive a bad odour»; When they said, «Is it faint?» He replied, «No, it ain’t,» So they fetched him a whiskey and soda

XVII

There was a young fellow of Biscay, Who gave all his horses some whiskey; Which resulted in some Being quite overcome, And others decidedly frisky

XVIII

There was an old fellow of Shere, Who wanted to act Chanticler; To say that his dress Was a brilliant success Would be saying as much as we dare

XIX