Three quarters dead

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Chapter 1.

«At the sight of a dream — regain consciousness»

— What did you do? — Lyudmila Olegovna cried out, having run up to me. I greedy involved air, without understanding as I could make all this.

On shout of my trustee, the people which crowded around the playground ran together. In several minutes before, I sat on a bench in the yard, and read the book. I had only two lines to the following chapter when Romka moving back back, noticing nothing around, tried to catch the ball flying on the other side of the platform. He flew on me, without having calculated throw force, and would fall, having hit against the next iron crossbeam yellow a swing. I involuntarily gasped having picked up the boy. At this moment I could not neither move, nor unclench the hands in which five-year-old Romka with widely opened eyes, coiled as snakes, trying to be released. But suddenly it sharply ceased to move, and failed all the little body on me, having fallen asleep instantly.

For these seconds seeming eternity on all my body ran pleasant heat. It was everywhere, filling me as an empty vessel by vivifying force. Invisible threads from a small body to mine, light shine vibrated without making a sound. I sharply rose and looked at the boy who is still immobilized with densely closed eyes at myself on hands.

— Oh, My God Romka! — exclaimed is frightened I and lowered it near itself on the earth. Romkino the face during a moment from ash-gray became pink. The thorax began to rise, to fall. As if all burden of the world left me. Having with relief exhaled I was removed from the boy on several centimeters.

— What is with it? — everything also loudly and with emotion was cried out by Lyudmila Olegovna when she fell on knees near the son. — Frame, sonny are you ok? And? You are safe? — She helplessly felt it, but it still lay and did not move. — Why are you keeping silent? — In the opinion of the woman tears began to shine.

I sat having pressed knees to a breast and told nothing, only looked at Romka.

— Regain consciousness my boy. The sonny mom here, I am near. — The trustee shed bitter tears. — Open eyes darling. Get up… — it slightly shook Romka for shoulders, but he did not regain consciousness. — Maria, what you with it made? — I not knowingly looked with an amazed look at Lyudmila Olegovna. Her hand gently and carefully pressed the son’s head to a breast, and gray eyes on a pale face with despair watched me. The question as a knife cut me because in soul I understood the fault in all this situation. I wanted to know what after all happens to it. In hope to solve this secret or to help somehow I gave a hand, but the trustee at once hit it and more strong pressed the son to herself. — Do not touch. — Lyudmila Olegovna hissed and pierced with a fleer. — All this you! I know, I saw. — In gray eyes the inspiration flew and having squeezed spitefully lips exhaling air she exactingly began to chatter. — Return me my son, the witch! Return, return…

— The ambulance will be in minutes five. — Someone from crowd reported of the gathered gapers. I did not know who, to me was all the same. At this moment I attentively looked at the trustee analyzing her words. What did she want to tell these? How can I return it? I did not want to do it harm! Only caught. Tears rushed from my eyes that warped white as snow Lyudmila Olegovna’s face even stronger.

— What you roar!? — It began with accusatory tone. — Your tears are not necessary to us. She took in head to roar. — I a hand brushed away the run tears and took eyes aside the audience. — And all your mother! — The trustee barked. It was a last straw. More I could not suffer it.

— My mother? And here it? — My brown eyes met gray.

— Luda calm down. You do not see perhaps as the girl is frightened. — Not it is clear from where the voice of Vladimir Aleksandrovich, my trustee reached. I raised the head and saw near myself the low, forty-year-old man. Just returned from work, tired and now also broken by what was seen. The trustee sat down near the wife took a romkina a hand and checked pulse. People muttered something around, Lyudmila Olegovna being shaken here and there quietly groaned whether from pain, whether with despair. The trustee having checked a condition of the son, with relief ran the right hand over the person, and looked at me. — Everything is good. Everything will be OK. — He murmured barely audible. So as if calming all, including me.

— You do not say so!? — Having frightened me his wife cried out. — You what forgot as it are?

— Calm down Luda. — Wearily Vladimir Aleksandrovich answered. The trustee looked at the husband as the madman. Now her face reddened from rage and an eye widely revealed. But suddenly Romka moved and opened eyes. He seemed regained consciousness from a deep sleep in unclear to it the place surrounded with strangers. Here his eyes met eyes of mother and quietly whispered:

— Mom…

Chapter 2


After Romka regained consciousness, everything at once rose on the places. There arrived the ambulance, and gapers dispersed who — where. Lyudmila Olegovna without letting out the son, got into the ambulance car.

— Go home, Masha. — Vladimir Aleksandrovich not strongly told having squeezed my shoulder, kind of encouraging, and unnaturally smiled. Having shaken the head and not raising eyes, I walked to an entrance of my present house in which I lived two years with the trustees. In general, they to me had the uncle and the aunt on the fatherly line. Vladimir Aleksandrovich and my father were brothers, the family was big, other relatives parted who — where. The only uncle who agreed after the death of my parents to take away me to himself. All history I did not know, only that there was a promise from Vladimir Aleksandrovich to take care of me if that suddenly happens. He told me about it, at a funeral of my mom. Then a lot of things lost for me sense, and a lot of things got more accurate outlines. In then fifteen years, me the thought of those things began to sicken that surrounded me for those years that my parents were alive. Both in thoughts, and in actions the carelessness left, I became more rare to smile, speak on trifles, and more often looked for loneliness. Lyudmila Olegovna from first minute apprehended me in «bayonets», and took great pain to avoid communication with me. Being limited to only couple of phrases, during a breakfast or a dinner. Romka, feeling a spirit of the mother, shkodnichat and was capricious, especially when I sat with it after a garden while the uncle with the aunt were on the robot. For these two years, I had to pomotat fairly and myself nerves, and to the trustees.

Outside there was a June. There was the fifth hour, but the sun still warmed. Near an entrance there was a grandmother living in the house opposite near her wagging a tail the rate of Peak which, Romka with other children liked to tease sat. The dog panted and her brown and red wool glinted in the sun. I smiled to them to two, and came into an entrance. Soft light got through the dirty and splashed window, on the landing. Rising by the third floor, concerning a handrail, passing by the dusty and painted walls — I remembered last hour. Everything seemed a dream, and nothing really happened. Having touched the shoulder which hit against a crossbeam a swing, I in surprise stood. It was as it should be: neither burned, nor was ill. The unpleasant chill passed on a back, and the contemptuous, sure words of the trustee were started turning an echo in my head.

«It you… all this you… Witch… I saw…» — and all in the same vein. Having closed an apartment door, I clutched hands at the head. Then passed from the hall to the living room, laid down on a sofa and curled up, having pressed knees to a breast, closed eyes and fell asleep.

As if having felt something wrong, I woke up, and looked directly before myself. The standing table on which near a sofa I lay soared over a floor of centimeters twenty. Because of the run twilight, the living room was based in a shadow therefore it was difficult to judge it seems to me or not. I slowly rose on a sofa, carefully as if being afraid to frighten off, but the table with deaf knock rose on the place. Having with astonishment begun to blink, I rubbed eyes without trusting in the events. Noise of the opened door was heard. And not legible grumble of the trustee. She obviously on something argued with Vladimir Aleksandrovich. They came into the living room with gloomy faces. Lyudmila Olegovna having seen me rolled up eyes, and put hands at herself on a breast. The trustee strictly looked at it and having hard exhaled, at first looked down, looked at the watch and only then in my party. Its gray with brown specks, sad eyes, frightened already alarmed me.

— And where Romka? — Hoarsely I rustled. The trustee nervously led shoulders and already was opened a mouth as she was interrupted immediately by Vladimir Aleksandrovich.

— It at the grandmother. — He said in low tones. I with astonishment translated eyes from him to his wife. Only one was on the tip of the tongue.

— It… it’s because of me!? — My voice almost squeaked. From the fact that I pronounced these words aloud became absolutely badly. Having pressed the shivering hands to a breast, feeling guilty, I often began to blink, trying to stop uninvited tears. The uncle immediately approached me and soothingly embraced for shoulders.

— No. All absolutely not so. — He began to assure me. — The doctor told that Romke is necessary rest and fresh air. — I raised the reddened eyes and looked at the trustee. She grinned and left the living room. — There is no your fault. — The uncle continued. I wanted to trust him, but the facts on the person. My brother at the grandmother, his mother despises me, absolutely sure that that’s my fault. All this bright bleached dimmed the words of the trustee. I sobbed again, and the uncle having carefully pressed me to the breast, began to pat soothingly on my back. — Well, Mashka, did not think that you will dissolve waters. All of us of course were nervous. And Lyudka is good too, but you she understands not from the evil so thinks. Romka himself is guilty of course, but he is a child still! So give calm down. Good? — I nodded, having exempted from uncle’s hands, and nervously wiped eyes. — There now so best of all. You are already adult girl. — I smiled, and it having a little lingered told — I Think Lyudmila of the right, we need to talk to you. For the present what did not talk. — Already more seriously than the beginnings it.

— About what? — Quietly I asked and looked expecting on the uncle. He lowered hands on knees and looked directly before himself, then having a little inclined the head in my party told:

— About your mother.

Chapter 3.


I sat on a bench near the railway station, expecting the train which had to arrive at 7:30. Cool autumn air scolded to the bones. Tapping with boots about the frozen asphalt, trying to be warmed somehow, I looked around as if the criminal. I needed to collect the thoughts and to continue to make the plan of the flight. Sooner or later, they or will forget about me, or will find, but this option I in every possible way avoided. More than five years as to me the truth opened, the loneliness and attempts to escape from all became the only purpose of my life.

Having pressed the head to shoulders, and having pulled the knitted blue beret is even lower, I got up from the place. The man standing in couple of meters from me, who just went down from the transitional bridge over the railroads captured my attention. He also noticed me, and having slightly given in aside, grinned. In the right hand he had a cigarette which a bright spark flashed when it dragged on and shook ashes. I was more densely wrapped in long, up to the ankles, a beige coat and sharp-sightedly threw eyes aside. Checking whether there is no whom nearby. But the station was absolutely empty, nobody wanted to stand and freeze on the street, expecting the train. All who I was going as well as to go today’s frosty morning, sat in the warm room of the station. To me a little too would not prevent to be warmed, but the circumstances which forced me to be on street did not allow desires to obscure reason.

— Cigarette? — The man offered, I negatively rolled up the head.

From outside it seemed above me on the whole head and wide in shoulders. I understood that I very much risk and that most likely, everything can go up the spout if I am afraid. Therefore looked at it, and inside summoned up courage to make everything as usual. The sky promised to be cloudy all day, but from what is still quite darkish, to think of it was early. The man it is noisy produced cigarette smoke, and having blinked the eyes became more attentive to look narrowly at me.

— Do you wait for the train? — Again he asked, only its voice became slightly hoarse. I shook the head again, he should not know anything about me.

It is sure — today there was my day. And good luck — in the form of the young and nice man, a rarity in such frosty days. In meter from me the mongrel ran. I shrank already again. The stranger smiled again and, having corrected a collar of a black leather jacket, threw a stub on asphalt, and trampled it a leg.

— And I am not present… — with a smile he said. — And you local? — His curiosity began to amuse me.

I was the girl beautiful and well built, even the shapeless coat could not hide it. So so far, everything suited me. I was pleasant to the man, the rest remains behind small.

— Everything is possible. — Coquettishly I answered and, having straightened shoulders, shifted from one foot to the other. The stranger, having caught my little flirtation, smiled even more widely, and a hand scratched a chin, obviously considering, to go to it further or not. But, it seems, it not from shy ten therefore at first once again appraisingly examined me and went only then to my party. In soul I exulted, with impatience expecting to hit a big roll. Having sat down back on a cold bench, I kind of hinted to join. It was not necessary to repeat twice, and the man fast took seat near me at hand distance.

— You, probably, froze. — He assumed. From his words I was scolded by a shiver. Weak, but cold wind frayed my long, dark curls. Carried away them in the parties as if said that I need to rise and leave. But there was already late something to change. — I by the way Vadim am called.

— Alyona. — And having smiled, gave a hand, the man immediately pulled the, and our fingers adjoined. Very strong squeezing it, I closed eyes that not only to see the faces of the stranger, but also to feel all events.

— Kh, khkh… — Whether coughed, whether my temporary acquaintance tried to tell something. Therefore, having outright become agitated, I opened eyes and looked at him. With an open mouth and widely open dark eyes, as at the demon, the man as if mad, pulled a free hand around the body. Familiar heat spread and filled me with vivifying force, and reached edges permitted by me. I weakened, then released a hand. That he was free now, the man, blindly looking in one point, fell all over on a bench. Having quickly recovered, having started, I ran one finger over his chin, and the head of this person faced me.

— Everything will be good. You will get up now and will go home. You will wash, you will go to bed and as soon as you wake up, you will not remember what occurred. — The man nodded and as if the zombie rose from the place, and walked back to the bridge. It has to be enough till next month. Now the main thing, inadvertently not to fall asleep in the public place and not to reveal itself.

Having risen from a bench, having lifted a traveling bag, having thrown it on a shoulder, and having put hands in deep coat pockets, I a fast pace went to the building of the station. Now to me definitely it did not prevent to be warmed.

Chapter 4

The monster in us

To the people at the station there was a little, the person twelve, apart from children. The room lit with bright light of lamps from which eyes hurt. The high ceiling with light walls creating optical illusion because of which, all it seemed spacious and pale cold. A concrete gray floor, and saturated color the blue benches established in ranks on all station. Pair of ATMs and multicash desks on corners. All this that was, in that place where I sat. People chewed something, drank, spoke, someone having collapsed on an empty bench, slept. Children scurried about to and fro, from boring and long expectation. I was killed into the most distant row at a window, having extended the long legs forward. Nobody, except me sat on this row. To me it was good from today’s recharge that I involuntarily smiled. But nevertheless looked round on the parties, being afraid for itself and the life. Today I will go to the big city, I should save one soul. Strongly heart as if having a presentiment of a trouble clenched.


When I sat in the train, to me it became very sad. This grief gnawed from within, eating black holes. I did not want to leave again and to look at the disappearing cities. But it was especially sore, from smiles of passersby of people. At that moment I thought: «And what for me happiness? Whether I am happy? What expects me where was not yet?» I knew the answer — it inspired fear, desire to hide, or in general to disappear. But cargo of the truth which to me was provided did not allow to stop. Forces was enough only for getting it together, and again to run.

In a compartment, together with me, the woman by sight sat years of forty. I knew what needs to be waited a little before everything begins. Its brown, average length the suede coat, fitted quite volume forms tightly. As soon as we started, her hands with bright red nails were run on buttons. The coat swung open and the heavy body fitted by the thin burgundy sweater and black trousers which are made narrower to a bottom was released. I caught this sweet, such familiar smell which I at once noticed at the station, began to smell absorbed fleshes.

This woman heaved a deep sigh all the time whatever she did. Its light short curls jumped up at the movement. Especially without paying to me the attention, chewing Mars chocolate bar, she smacked the lips from pleasure. My stomach foully began to hum, and having ceased to watch the stranger, I having rummaged around in the to a traveling bag, from an inside pocket, got a pack of salty peanut. Such food for breakfast, obviously did not suit me, but the choice was not therefore continued to chew. The woman grinned, having noticed a bag in my hand. I pretended that it does not concern me, and looked in a window. In a compartment it was warm, but I did not want to take off a coat, so it seemed more safely. The neighbor heaved a deep sigh again, leaned against a wall, sitting on the lower bed, as well as I, she closed eyes, and in a few minutes lingeringly snored. Having used it, I touched her hand lying on a knee, and the dense white veil filled my eyes. The woman discontentedly moved, but did not wake up.

The rehouse me as if pictures of a kaleidoscope, rushed all moments of life of this stranger. Her hard, but cheerful childhood, misunderstanding of adults, girlfriends, quarrels, the first guy, kiss, dates and wedding. I saw and understood how I lack all this. Being transferred to pipe dreams, I noticed strange changes not at once. The woman was only twenty six years old: beautiful, harmonious and very proud. It, from smiling, light-haired, with big blue eyes of the little girl, turned into sad, irritable creation. Further the hospital, and several operations followed. Something constantly began to disturb this woman, paints one by one were replaced. And here it one, a divorce, depressions, the conflicts at work. Everything became more dark, and is more dark, tightening me together with it. I sharply felt this darkness. It was necessary to be chosen together with it from there, otherwise we will die. And I looked for this door for what we could keep, but the woman began to rest, shout. She painfully seized to me a hand the long red nails, is so strong that from superficial wounds blood which a drop fell in blackness under us filtered. Something left frightening darkness, hairy and small, it nestled on a leg of this woman and looked at me. His tiny muzzle of scarlet color, with black eyes, the open warped mouth, and full of long awful teeth, in several rows, rapaciously smiled and having bitten through a leg of the poor thing, with loud laughter escaped back. The woman having shouted in horror, uncoupled the hands from mine, and fell backwards. From her leg as if a number of soldiers, after the little monster, began to run out spiders.

The sound stood ringing, such that stuffed up ears. The women’s shout which sounded from below — revived me as, I could not move for the chilling horror which held down my body. Having bent, I had to seize strong hands to the woman who was left almost without leg from which spiders still appeared. Its blue, with whole an eye saucer, expressed the endured mix from pain and fear, now it was ready for everything is to be chosen if only from here. Without hesitating seconds, I that there are forces, pulled the woman on itself that she could rise and lean the elbows on my shoulders. Her mouth as if at fish, opened, was closed while we went it is unknown where. The fact that we were surrounded by outer darkness was strange, but I perfectly saw myself and the woman. We went and went, shoulders, tired, painfully ached under weight of a burden. The blond curly head, silently shook, and the remained whole leg, was dragged for the poor thing in a halfbent state. I knew, it is not the end yet, someone obviously played with the fate of this person. Only who!? It also frightened most of all.

Chapter 5.

Not to see — another

Having become exhausted, I stopped to have a rest. The woman still did not raise the head and did not publish a nizvuk. But me weak heart beat was heard therefore I still dragged it on infinite darkness. This woman be dead, I would not be here. Having recovered the breath and having looked around, I decided that it is time to take some measures. Having taken away a hand with bright manicure from the shoulder, it was necessary to me, this rather big woman, to shake slightly in order that her nprivest in feeling. It slightly opened eyes and raised the head.

— I need your help. — Accurately I said and the blond head shook aside. Without knowing, what does it mean, but hoping for consent, I ran the released hand over her forehead. I needed to understand that or who holds it here, and to try to pull out from dark paws, live and safe. The woman opened eyes which immediately began to shine, and ran here and there. Her wide big face became suddenly yellow, and from a mouth white foam went. Two voices, opposite women’s and low men’s, at the same time said:

— To you not to take away it. It is ours.

«Well, is not present! Not today, children!» — I Told in thoughts and, having swung from all force hit the woman in a breast. The person from yellow turned into violet-gray, but I knew that I do everything correctly so far. Foam disappeared as well as appeared that gave a little hope to me. Heart stopped fighting for several seconds, and later, again began to sound quietly and measuredly. From my palm, on all body of the stranger, gold threads ran up, only now I did not take away, and gave. Each thread was poured by bright light, pulsing under my pressure. That heat that I took away in the morning from the young man, had to be enclosed in a body of the woman who soared predo me. Strength of the man will last for her only for few years therefore as soon as it came off my hand, I having immediately picked open wounds on a wrist, pressed a finger to them to take a little blood. Then put three bloody end to that place where there was just my palm, and connected them starting with the last. Blood immediately disappeared, confirming closing. Now remained behind small, saved by me, has to find a way from darkness forever to leave it. But I saw it earlier, and, having thrown back a hand with bright manicure, dragged slowly wakening woman to a thin strip of light. There were cases worse as then, I did not know what I am capable of and how to help poor souls.

The veil from my eyes fell and I returned to a compartment again. Having taken away the scratched hand from the sleeping woman, I sat down on the place where the peanut pack still alone lay. Gathered a handful iskory began to chew. Now hunger became intolerable, I was absolutely empty. And this emptiness pressed on me. Having tightened closer a bag and having got, all from the same inside pocket, a small round pocket mirror, I attentively considered myself. After each exhausting fight for soul, my body and the person suffers minor changes, today there were couple of scratches and a little reddened eyes. But even it did not spoil my person with the gentle flush, black bottomless eyes framed with long dense eyelashes with slightly raised tip of a nose and bright chubby lips. There passed five years, now I am the matured twenty-three-year-old girl. In seventeen, I only began to learn myself real. In eighteen to apply everything that learned in practice. And further — to live with this baggage and to drive about across all Russia. Sooner or later, this travel will end and I, at last, will understand who I am such. For now I am a wanderer.

The woman, opposite to me began to move, opened, then rubbed eyes, and having finally woken up, with astonishment looked at me. I soothingly smiled, she to me in reply; and we continued to go, indifferently.

Chapter 6.

Remember the enemy

After what happened to Romka, in family of my trustees I immediately and dialed seconds number of the grandmother. Mom always said to me that at any time when I in despair or in serious difficulty to address either her, or the grandmother Gruna.

Agrafena Anufriyevna Shevchenko was to me not a grandmother, and even the great-grandmother on the mamkiny line. This old woman lived the ninth decade, but there was all same mobile and in a senile way quarrelsome. Many residents of the village in which she lives were rather afraid of my grandma to this day. Every time as soon as we all family came to visit it: avoided us, silently bypassed, and did not look in the face. Grun’s women grinned, having heard about it.

— Vsyak are afraid, prick life the road. — She answered, and began to strive on economy. Everything that was from the cattle, she sold as soon as one remained. My great-grandfather, died in the war «young and beautiful», the grandmother said. She always sold everything as soon as she lost something or someone very important. The daughter her, my grandmother Zina, having married the son of one rich Moscow nobility, returned with the child on hands, two years later. Without having explained anything, left the one-year-old daughter, and left back. More grandmother Zina did not appear. Only sometimes wrote, but it was very rare also only three lines. About the death of the daughter, the grandmother Grunya learned, also from the letter, only from the neighbor, and the best friend Zinaida, Vera. Which told how the husband threw Zina, having learned that it changed and gave birth to the child from another. Left her the apartment after the divorce, «and disappeared as if there was no it at all». The useless daughter did not want to come back home, and to see the child too as she did not love him. Therefore on conscience, wrote mother, and money sent how many could. She died in thirty years, of lung cancer. Having buried the daughter, the grandmother Grunya decided that she Rita (my mother), will keep a tight rein, and will track that did not do mamkiny mistakes. But now also she died. I understood how it is difficult for woman Gruna to see how children die and to live further, now for the sake of me, the only great-granddaughter. All this, in appearance usual human life. Here only neither the great-grandmother, nor the grandmother, and especially my mom — were ordinary people. Each of them, also endured the first forces, and learned much at the mother. My awakening came late enough, the grandmother so told. She felt forces of years in six when began to move objects, without realizing. It only was transferred to daughters. All history goes to the Ukrainian lands where and today remembered a lot of things. The grandmother Zina too at early age, and here my mom in ten years.

Because of so late awakening, the woman Grunya very much worried as without consumption of human energy, earlier they could manage only after thirty years when it is already possible to make the choice. My grandmother and mom refused forces, only the grandmother Grunya still owned a small amount and that on emergency. It on all death, had one theory: that having like, refused at most, mom and the grandmother Zina became so vulnerable that could not protect the soul and died.


In two days as I called the grandmother, she arrived to the house of trustees. The conversation lasted nearly an hour, left in the room, and mudflows in the living room. In the same evening I was taken away by the electric train to the grandmother to the village.

When we entered the house, her dry wrinkled hand squeezed mine, and looked at light-brown eyes with heat and understanding. The first time for that time that lived with relatives, I felt in safety. From the next day for a year, I was taught: to define borders permitted in absorption of live energy; to create protection for the soul and a body; to give the received energy and to seal it; to treat itself and other people; to apply «Eighty Seals of Honour» for all occasions; to operate telepathic abilities and to create by means of them protective fields; and at last, to see the last, possible future and to operate dreams. To the practician I acquired well, and here the theory hardly. It was written in too difficult language and with the knowledge. The grandmother very much was upset if I did not acquire something, and long dinned a word behind a word.

Theoretical knowledge is very important for me, especially now. Having run a hand over a bag, in that place where stuck out edges of the book, I mentally in memory counted the seals, and to me it became quieter.

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