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Оглавление - Revelations about hJUmoRISTs
Small edition in a humorous way. English version
- REVELATION #1
- #hJUmoRIST always knows everything about everything. This superman knows all the regulations and laws by heart, and reads court decisions to children at night
- REVELATION #2
- #hJUmoRIST has all specializations. He understands the administrative process, knows the civil code by heart, he knows all the nuances of criminal law, and in the economic process he is generally a god
- REVELATION #3
- #hJUmoRIST has such connections that he only needs to call, and any legal issue will be closed at the same minute. He knows all the judges, prosecutors, who works when, and who has friends where.
- REVELATION #4
- #hJUmoRIST opens any doors with his feet, since this superman does not know the concept of ethics, and morality. Anyway, he just sits and writes pieces of paper. And for which he only receives money
- REVELATION #5
- #hJUmoRIST is always waiting for a call. He has no family, no other business, and in general at 10 o’clock in the evening it costs nothing to urgently draw up a standard contract for him
- REVELATION #6
- #hJUmoRIST is just waiting for a phone call to be a psychologist, and to listen to how the interlocutor was offended at work, cheated in the store, or do not want to return the debt
- REVELATION #7
- #hJUmoRIST never gets tired. His working capacity is maintained due to the fact that he only writes papers, drinks coffee, and constantly talks on the phone
- REVELATION #8
- #hJUmoRIST urgently needs to come to a friend at 10 o’clock in the evening in order to quickly look at all the documents with a professional look, and find flaws, having calculated the risks, because he will do all this in 5 minutes
- REVELATION #9
- #hJUmoRIST is always busy, because no one has canceled the mobile phone sales plan for it yet
- REVELATION #10
- #hJUmoRIST has no sense of humor. This soulless creature never smiles, but only pretends to know everything
- REVELATION #11
- #hJUmoRIST always does everything for free. He just dreams of giving out constant free consultations to the left and to the right: this is nothing for him, he knows everything
- REVELATION #12
- If #hJUmoRIST does not pick up the phone, then he just advises someone, and you can call him back every five minutes for several hours
- REVELATION #13
- If the #hJUmoRIST does not literally quote the law, then it is not a real #hJUmoRIST
- REVELATION #14
- If #hJUmoRIST goes on a visit, then he must definitely wear a jacket, trousers, and a tie, since #hJUmoRIST should always have a representative look
- REVELATION #15
- #hJUmoRIST knows all the laws by heart. Comedian — anecdotes. In some ways, these concepts are identical
- REVELATION #16
- The more extensive the free consultation of the #hJUmoRIST, the more expensive it is.
- REVELATION #17
- #hJUmoRIST is always very confident in what it says. He had already read it once in the law. Despite the lack of amendments
- REVELATION #18
- The real #hJUmoRIST analyzes the law by forums, and sometimes by its own assumptions. He is a real certified #hJUmoRIST and knows how to interpret the law
- REVELATION #19
- #hJUmoRIST reads constantly. A lot of. New. Why re-read what you have already read. Better not to specialize. And the changes are generally useless to read
- REVELATION #20
- The dentist treats the teeth, the ophthalmologist treats the eyes, and the #hJUmoRIST is so severe that he even knows therapeutics
- REVELATION #21
- Most #hJUmoRIST S dreamed of becoming lawyers as children. This is probably why every time they prove something, they speak as if they are in the courtroom
- REVELATION #22
- #hJUmoRIST is registered in all social networks, and many legal forums. New clients are always needed. The old ones don’t come back
- REVELATION #23
- #hJUmoRIST is not difficult to be. You just need to just take a collection of laws, and start cramming
- REVELATION #24
- The younger the #hJUmoRIST, the stronger the tint of his costume, the broader the gestures, and the brighter the business card
- REVELATION #25
- Unbelievable, but true: the more the #hJUmoRIST knows, the better he sleeps
- REVELATION #26
- Only #hJUmoRIST can run around the courthouse, and rewrites the names of judges from the plates
- REVELATION #27
- The more documents on the table, the more #hJUmoRIST is busy. Vkontakte
- REVELATION #28
- A real #hJUmoRIST is always well dressed. This is probably why he wears a darker tie on the beach. It won’t get dirty
- REVELATION #29
- The real #hJUmoRIST should be known by sight. This is probably why he sometimes comes to court without a power of attorney
- REVELATION #30
- The # hUmoRIST phone most often rings at lunchtime. When else can you get a free consultation for old friendships?
- REVELATION #31
- A good #hJUmoRIST will certainly get a nice raise. Several hours of copying documents are considered a purely legal qualified occupation
- REVELATION #32
- The more relatives the director has, the more #hJUmoRIST s in the staff
- REVELATION #33
- If you install «Consultant Plus» on your smartphone, put on a tie, and go to the mirror, you can see #hJUmoRIST
- REVELATION #34
- If #hJUmoRIST said, then it is. More precisely, it is literally written in the law
- REVELATION #35
- All #hJUmoRIST s are divided into 2 types: those who read the laws in the morning and those who read them at night
- REVELATION #36
- If #hJUmoRIST is in the store, then he must compete with the seller in the knowledge of consumer protection law, otherwise the day will be wasted
- REVELATION #37
- The #hJUmoRIST diploma can be issued in the second year. Particularly distinguished — immediately after the first. There are plenty of discussions on legal forums
- REVELATION #38
- Sometimes you get the impression that #hJUmoRIST, when studying legislation, often looks for pretexts. It’s a pity that not as a reason for something, but as part of the language
- REVELATION #39
- If we talk about the specialization of the #hJUmoRIST, then we can say that he understands how to divide property according to the marriage contract of the former spouses, after the inheritance of which there is an administrative case on the illegally occupied premises by a relative of the testator, if one of the spouses has a criminal case
- REVELATION #40
- When the #hJUmoRIST looks in the mirror, he can see his PR behind his back. And in silence you can also hear
- REVELATION #41
- For a techie, everything is measured as 2 legs of a triangle, and a hypotenuse. For #hJUmoRIST — disposition, sanction and hypothesis
- REVELATION #42
- How to convince the #hJUmoRIST from the first sentence that he can help you with the solution of the issue if he has not even heard him yet? Simple. You need to start the dialogue with a simple appeal: «Hello. Listen, you are #hJUmoRIST?..»
- REVELATION #43
- Only #hJUmoRIST can wear a Swiss watch on his wrist, and he himself incessantly chatting on the phone about the petty provision of a standard contract
- REVELATION #44
- If #hJUmoRIST’s phone rings, then the call must be answered, because it is «a matter of life and death.» And it doesn’t matter: at noon, or at 2 am. The most interesting thing is that when you later find out about what the person called, it turns out that he just wanted to clarify something about one «very important» case for him
- REVELATION #45
- #hJUmoRIST behind the wheel is always unusual. Indeed, how could he turn around or simply turn left, if half of his life comprehended the right. And family ties are stronger…
- REVELATION #46
- #hJUmoRIST understands that the PR company was successful, when no matter what social network he went to, the account was blocked for spam
- REVELATION #47
- #hJUmoRIST of the book considers, and considers that reads. And everything he reads — he makes up sentences. It’s a pity that he does not contribute, but only does grammar
- REVELATION #48
- The creative #hJUmoRIST is a scary thing. Instead of being creative at work, he arranges creative tricks on it.
- REVELATION #49
- #hJUmoRIST is a superhero who drops a parallel incoming call from a relative in order to chat about «important» legal work with a colleague for another half hour
- REVELATION #50
- #hJUmoRIST always gives deferral of receivables to the counterparty who promises to pay. He will call himself