About the Author
My dear reader, thank you for taking time to read this book.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Nelli Davydova, and it will be complicated to define what I do in just one particular word. I’m a researcher, and at the same time, the subject of my research. This is how I live: I learn about myself as a divine being by looking at the world around me as my continuation and people as my reflection.
The irony is that to dig deep inside myself, I need to interact with the world, with you, which is also Me. Therefore, I deliver the knowledge through you back to myself. It multiplies and expands me.
I have a blog where I share my vision of the way I see the world. I can say it out loud that I’ve already helped tens of thousands of people to solve their problems in various spheres of their life by changing their thinking. The number of positive feedback on my channel will soon hit a little over twenty-five thousand.
I’m sincerely grateful to have you. We exist. And our existence is the best thing that could ever happen to this world. We make it beautiful.
Thank you and mentally hug you.
Quit Quitting Smoking
Even without knowing you, I already deeply respect you for your interest in reading this hacker-book to start a new life. You have made your decision. And I can assure you, this is a good enough reason to become a non-smoker. Yes, your decision is already triggering a series of events that will make you quit.
After reading the book till the end, you will say to yourself, «Finally! I’m a non-smoker. I’m free.» You will be praising yourself. And the most extraordinary thing is that you will be saying it without any of my recommendations or having your mind set on it. You will do it just because you want to.
You might lightly slap yourself on the forehead and say, «I’m such a fool! Why did I smoke? What was the point? Now I’m finally free.» It will come directly from your heart, and you will make the decision by yourself. I will just draw your attention to a few things that, in reality, are strange and stereotyped misconceptions about smoking.
I even chose the title «Quit Quitting Smoking» so that you can make your choice and put a comma anywhere you want after reading this book. For now, you can even enjoy a cigarette and read the book at the same time. We don’t need to quit smoking at all. Not now or later, you will not have to give anything up at all. Your reality will simply change and you will become a non-smoking person. Everything is very simple. There are no difficulties at all. Our minds continually give us a million reasons why it’s difficult. Don’t trust it. When we figure it out, you will understand why.
Also, it doesn’t actually matter what you smoke: vapes, electronic cigarettes, regular cigarettes, tobacco heaters, weed. It makes no difference. This book will help you understand why you have such addictions, why you keep smoking, and that all of the addictions are of similar nature. And using the method I suggest, you can deal with any addiction: food, alcohol, drugs.
There are far more opportunities that this method entails. They are much greater than they seem at first glance, because this book is not just about smoking. It turned out to be a multipurpose book. It covers a wide array of matters. I like to kill several birds with one stone. Even non-smokers, after reading it, will understand how many addictions there are in our life that we tend to lean on just like on crutches. But these «crutches» only slow down our movement towards a fulfilling life in all areas: finance, personal relationships, health, hobbies.
Similar to the smokers’ fears, you can gradually deal with issues in other spheres of your life. By removing the fears we have created in our minds, we change our reality quickly and painlessly. There is a strong, proven correlation between the inner world and the outside one. Many of my subscribers and friends apply these principles to solve their problematic issues. Also, thousands of positive reviews prove this. Check and see for yourself how well these rules work.
Are You Ready To Become A Non-Smoker And Free?
«Oh, I still think about it…”. Perhaps the thought will slip through your mind. «I don’t know yet whether I want to quit or not.»
Stop it! Stop it. It’s our «fear» talking. The fear of losing something. But when you realize that, in fact, we don’t lose anything, and as a bonus, we gain, then all your doubts will disappear. In addition to that, we will dispel the greatest delusions of our minds: the delusions of «I want to smoke» and «I like smoking.»
So, stop doubting for at least a couple of hours while reading the book. You will agree that if you keep «Quit Quitting Smoking» in your hands, it means that you’re ready to quit smoking. Am I right? I can hear your «yes» answer. Nod your head at least once. Otherwise, what is the point in reading it?
By the way, before publishing the book, I formed a focus group of people who had agreed to try quitting with the help of this book. The group was very diverse. Some had already tried to quit smoking multiple times before. Others had only recently decided to quit but had not yet attempted to, having held a strong belief that they could do it any time they wanted. There were also actively resisting ones. For example, my relatives and friends declared that they would not quit smoking under any circumstances because they love it and are quite satisfied with their life as it is.
What did I do? I just smiled and slipped them my drafts. My argument was: «Just read it; you don’t have to quit straight away. I need to know your opinion in order to improve the impact of this book. The feedback will help me better understand smokers and identify more stereotyped beliefs about smoking that I will challenge. You don’t have to quit smoking. No pressure, just help me.» I certainly achieved my goal thanks to this trick. I did it for their own good and for the good of all future readers.
The years of smoking among focus group participants varied from 5 to 45. I got the picture: it doesn’t matter how many cigarettes per day you smoke or what your smoking history is. Gender and age don’t play any role either. The only reason you want to smoke is because you have been brainwashed. And you’re blind to see it. Or maybe you want to quit, but somehow you can’t do it. You have tried many times, but have not achieved anything apart from a feeling of despair. It’s possible to get through to everyone and make him or her forever free and happy. It works on everyone.
I will tell you this: you will need to reflect on each word in each sentence and thoroughly digest the information to inevitably become free from this addiction forever. No willpower will be needed. I promise you will neither suffer nor experience negative emotions or cravings.
Just read what the participants of the experiment wrote about the book. I will not publish all their comments here. If you decide to have a look at what other smokers have gone through, you can find the reviews on my channel. Here is some participants’ feedback with the author’s style fully intact:
«I’ve been thinking about quitting smoking for a long time, but I kept putting it off: there’s no time, there’s already a lot of stress. I thought quitting would increase the stress. So I was comforting myself and, as it turned out, I was fooling myself. After all, the right moment may never come. By chance, I saw an advertisement for the book „Quit Quitting Smoking“ by my favorite coach, Nelli Davydova. It hit me. The time has come. Nelli has analyzed our fears and thinking patterns, why we hold on to them, and what benefits we get from them. Throughout the entire book, I kept smiling and being surprised at how simple everything was. Of course, after reading the book, I didn’t immediately forget about cigarettes. I had some minor cravings, but the tips from the book have come in handy. I managed to reduce stress and take my mind off them. A few days after the last cigarette I ever smoked, I was free. Forever. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Nelli.»
Veronika, 37 years old, Moscow
«My name is Alexey Smirnov. There are two stages to my smoking history. I smoked from ages 17–30. Then I had a five-year break. I started to smoke again when I was 35, and I quit at age 38. Today is October 3, 2021, and I have not smoked in two days already. All my life, I’ve been trying to convince myself that smoking didn’t disturb me, that I had a lot of energy and strength, and that, generally speaking, smoking helped me concentrate. I was closing my eyes to the cough, shortness of breath (I’ve been doing sports all my life), and occasional heart pain. And during the relapse period, I only smoked because I didn’t know where to direct the revealing stream of energy, thereby suppressing and destroying that life coming from the heart itself. Right now, I’m like a child who is learning how to release the flow of energy again. I feel amazing. My dear Nelli, thank you with all my heart for the opportunity to take a different look at the whole smoking process. Thank you for that magical kick and for pointing out those mind games. This book is not only about smoking; it’s about life in general. I recommend it to everyone who wants to quit smoking without actually quitting, and witness wonderful and enjoyable changes in their life.»
«I smoked for 15 years. In a nutshell, I would mark this time with anxiety, constant worries, panic attacks, fussing, and a constant sense that something was wrong. Just one negative thought was enough to start chain smoking. Every day was the same. As if cigarettes really helped me. And the most interesting thing: when everything was good and I was happy, I also lighted up a cigarette. This book made me open my eyes. The main thing I came to realize is that cigarettes are shattering your emotional state and solving nothing. After I read it, I realized that I had been poisoning myself with my own hands. It finally hit me. The book is great, and I really like how Nelli has expounded human nature. She has covered everything and approached it from different angles. And it’s easy and well written.»
Alim Pashaliev, 35 years old, Nalchik
«I’ve read the book. I don’t smoke anymore. My brain fought back. Today I tried to read it at work, and every time I dropped off in my chair, I tried my best to keep reading. And I’ve finished it. I knew for sure that I would finish it and I would not smoke again. This book helped me very much. It was just like a kick that I badly needed. Everything is now clear and obvious to me. Awesome. Honestly, I’m shocked. Thank you so much.»
Ekaterina Tropina, 36 years old, Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky
«Briefly, I no longer smoke. I didn’t quit smoking. I’m a smoker who doesn’t smoke. How come? How did I kick a cigarette? Read this book and you will understand. An important point is that it makes you feel again, alters your perspective, and removes your blinders. The words are arranged in a way that makes me understand, on all conscious and subconscious levels, what tobacco smoking is to me, why and what I smoke for. Just so you know, I smoked for 27 years. By the way, while reading, I realized the way financial crashes happened in my life. Nelli, thank you.»
Dima Lutsenko, 45 years old, Krasnodar
«My name is Elena. I’m 36 years old and have smoked for 16 years. A few days ago, I happened to read „Quit Quitting Smoking“ by Nelli Davydova. I could tell it was going to be mind blowing just by looking at the title. The book served as a compass for me, pointing in the right direction. I realized I had patterns in my head: „If I smoke, then I’m cool,“ „If I smoke, then I’m rebellious and grown up.“ If I smoke, my desires that should have been fulfilled long ago remain neglected, and issues that should have been resolved long ago remain unresolved. If I smoke, I lose all my inner joy. I was also unaware of the fact that I was killing myself. When I achieved some kind of result, for example, in my work, I would happily reach for a cigarette that would make my thoughts hectic and prevent me from continuing working. The book helped me find where the energy drain was. The book is very clear and detailed about all the possible options. Nellie, thank you. The book is valuable. And you yourself are very valuable. I’m free and no longer smoke.»
«I quit smoking when I was 25. After that, I didn’t smoke for a long time. Five years ago, I started smoking off and on: I would smoke for a month, then take a break for a year, and so on. The book has divided my life into „before“ and „after“. Nelli, The book is the bomb! I got so many insights! I couldn’t stop reading. And even the part about our fears has settled in the back of my head somewhere, although I was bewildered on an unconscious level. After reading it, I felt so energetic and enthusiastic. I choose to be a non-smoker and free. Thank you for explaining everything so thoroughly. I have a strong desire to live and achieve my goals for the first time in a long time.»
Tatiana, 43 years old, Moscow
«It’s been two days since I last smoked. I don’t even think about it now. It’s as if I’ve returned to a time when I didn’t smoke and didn’t crave it. It’s as if I have never smoked before. A year ago, I took pills to stop smoking, all in vain. I had it in my head that smoking was a habit, an addiction, not something one could easily give up. It turned out to be nothing but a belief. Nelli, as usual, you blew my mind. I can call this a miracle.»
Elizaveta Vlasova, 34 years old, Tula
«Nelli, thank you for this book. The information is detailed and easy to comprehend. Why do I need it? What exactly am I trying to replace with cigarettes? I gave myself a couple of days to complete the pack of smokes after finishing the book, but I broke them down and flushed them down the toilet in less than an hour. The cravings are gone, and if they suddenly appear, I just say to myself, „No, I don’t need it. I will not get tricked again.“ I start breathing deeply, but most of the time I don’t even think about it. As if there hadn’t been 30 years of smoking.»
«It’s nice to realize that I don’t suffer. I really don’t feel the need for it. It’s eye opening. I was also reminiscing about those 4 years of no smoking. It was bliss. I feel so much better without cigarettes in general. There is no addiction anymore, no nausea, no odour… How did I forget that? A week later, I found myself going somewhere with an electronic cigarette in my hand. I took a drag out of habit. I felt so sad right away. I thought to myself, „Why?! What for?“ The despair and sadness jolted me awake. I was happy that it was just a dream!»
Elena Elena, 47 years old, Moscow
«Nelli, thank you for this book. For your hard work and expertise. It all came together for me at last. What was wrong? Why couldn’t I stop smoking? I mean, I could stop it. But I couldn’t resist the temptation to start smoking again. I got trapped in a vicious circle of constant stress. And all I could think about at the time was cigarettes. I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me. I couldn’t figure out why. But, it’s obvious now. When you have not smoked in a long time, you start to feel bursting with energy, and you’re not ready, you don’t know where to channel it, and you repress yourself — you smoke. Can you believe that I sat down to write a wish list, as you recommend, and I found my old one. „I want to quit smoking,“ was the first wish. Words can’t describe how happy I am. I heartily recommend this book to everyone. It breaks down all the thinking patterns and fears associated with smoking. In addition, it gives clear instructions on how to avoid falling into the trap in the future, as well as what to do if you catch yourself thinking about smoking. I’m finally free. I no longer smoke.»
Irina, 37 years old, Kiev
Well, what do you think about the feedback? Impressive, isn’t it? No worries. I already feel, through time and distance, that you’re probably scared now. Will I really quit after reading it?
You must have been panic stricken. How will my life change? What will you do? I will not be able to. Do you feel like you really want a cigarette right now? Just stop worrying, relax, and have a cigarette. You don’t have to give up anything. Go have a smoke and come back.
Are You Back?
You probably already realize that nicotine has enslaved you. On the smallest occasions, you need to light up. The body even starts to panic from a single thought of missing a chance to smoke. Or, once you get nervous, you immediately reach for a cigarette. Emotions change but cigarettes are always there for you. You’re addicted. You’re hooked.
And all of your attempts to convince yourself that you genuinely enjoy it have failed. You may, however, continue to claim that you do. It makes sense: you would not have smoked if you didn’t enjoy it.
But everything is not as it seems. We don’t like it, and we can’t like it. We are just trying to convince ourselves of that so we don’t look stupid in our own eyes, because we just can’t live without smokes. Even if we are well aware of the harm it does, we will still find numerous arguments in favor of smoking. If a doctor said that our lungs or legs would rot, and the next day we would die, that would not stop us from smoking.
It’s rare for a smoker to quit even after having a heart attack. But even those who do start puffing again after a while. Or, they don’t smoke, but live under stress, dreaming of a cigarette.
And how many times did people tell this steady smoker that he would end up with a heart attack? Did it stop him? That’s the kind of itch I’m talking about. All you care about is starting a cigarette and putting everything else aside. And every time I realized the negative consequences, I felt like a wuss. Chronic coughing, shortness of breath, and migraines plagued me. I never had the energy to do anything after smoking a cigarette. I would even disregard the ill effects such as nausea or migraines, and just go smoke. For a long time, I blamed myself for smoking, but I couldn’t help myself.
Just don’t stop there, thinking: «I’m not coughing or suffering from headaches. My health is good. I feel great. I’m full of energy. I certainly don’t need to quit. I also like it. I have no reason to quit, and I have enough money. I’m a happy person.» I fully understand you. Coughing and pain were not enough to make me quit smoking. I thought I was insanely happy with cigarettes.
Until it hit me. I was taking another poll asking my subscribers what topic I should write a post about or go on air with. Probably for the thousandth time, they suggested that I talk about how to quit and sort everything out. «You can deal with any thinking pattern. Help us here too,» they told me.
I hesitated a long time before I sat down and dwelled on it. Even though I was dealing with health and financial issues, I was still convinced that I didn’t want to quit. After all, I really enjoyed it. «Cigarettes are indescribable bliss. In no way should I give up smoking and deprive myself of the joy and satisfaction it brings.» I was dead wrong.
I’m eternally grateful to my followers for having guided me to pay attention to this. I started writing the contents of the book, planning its structure. It was enough to turn me into a lifelong non-smoker. I’m here to bring my experience and knowledge to the table. It seems like I can finally see what I’ve been deliberately hiding from myself.
At first, I was going from one extreme to another. On the one hand, I wanted to quit smoking and blamed myself for not doing it. On the other hand, I didn’t want to, because I liked it so much. I didn’t have peace of mind. Anyway, I’d always choose to smoke because it was my greatest pleasure. I didn’t want to quit. But, deep down, I realized that, in addition to the detrimental effect on my health, it also made my breath and clothes smell terrible. Although I often said to myself, «I’m different. Other smokers may stink, but I’m an exception! Because I can’t smell smoke on my fingers.»
I even realized that my body was dying, although I didn’t feel it (neither do all smokers). Our immune system stops reacting to nicotine and quickly gets used to self-poisoning. The system disables receptors that transmit signals such as nausea, vomiting, and dizziness. And these signals indicate that every cigarette leads to irreversible consequences in our body. I was aware of that… but since I don’t see this, it means that everything is under control! I’m different. I can avoid committing suicide.
Self-deception is a great thing. Just like in that joke, when a man was falling off his mistress’ balcony and saying that he would give up all his bad habits if he survived. «Oh God, there’s no limit to human resourcefulness in critical situations!» he said after surviving. I was exactly like that. When smoking caused any discomfort, I said to myself, «I’m done. I don’t want to smoke anymore.» But once the emotions were gone, I resumed smoking. I blamed myself for being weak and lacking willpower. My brain came up with millions of reasons why I wanted to smoke to get rid of remorse.
But when I had an epiphany, I realized that I wasn’t a wuss and that my willpower was fine, too. Willpower plays no role at all. If you want to be a free person without addiction, just like me, you should forget about it. You can put energy into fighting something else. But fighting an illusion is a losing battle.
I dare say you’re not a wuss either, and everything is okay with your willpower and intelligence. One doesn’t start smoking because he is less smart or weak-willed. A smoker’s intellectual abilities in no way differ from a non-smoker’s. Anyone can fall into this trap. As a drug, nicotine spares no one.
I’m writing it to debunk the myth and ingrained belief that «I can’t quit smoking because I’m weak and spineless,» or something like that. It’s a myth. You keep smoking for very different reasons.
You’re a perfectly normal and sane person, just like me. Although one can doubt my sanity, it definitely has nothing to do with cigarettes. But that’s a whole different story.
I’m reluctant to bore you with how dangerous and harmful nicotine is. Or the fact that each cigarette contains about 50 deadly poisonous carcinogens (substances that contribute to the formation and multiplication of malignant tumors). Even if we know we’re going to die tomorrow, we still won’t quit smoking. After all, it itches too hard to give up this drug. We already know more about its danger than non-smokers, but we have developed immunity to this information. Why spoil our mood? It’s beyond our control anyway.
Yes, we are slowly dying. 80% of the time, we or our family will get cancer. And it doesn’t matter who smokes. Second-hand smoking kills too. Passive smokers (children, relatives) inhale the smoke. We have tons of problems: with the people around us, our health, money (we have to spend a lot on cigarettes). But still, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Indeed, we do not intend to kill our children, partners, parents, or ourselves. We sincerely hope that nothing bad is going to happen to our relatives or us. And some may even be inclined to believe the myth that everyone is healthy. It must be propaganda. Cigarettes can’t be that dangerous to our health or cause death.
Or, what’s even worse, some people have an immature attitude towards it. «We are all going to die someday. Why should we deny ourselves something? We live once and must try everything, come what may.» At the same time, everyone concerns about future: «How will I survive without money? What will happen tomorrow? What if I die?» But cigarettes don’t seem scary. Because we just can’t quit. We fail to. We have no choice but to put up with it and make excuses since we can’t quit. After all, there have been plenty of unsuccessful attempts to quit. We learned a long time ago that it’s impossible to quit. We just have to live with it and believe in myths.
Some of the focus group participants even told me, «Nelli, you haven’t reinvented the wheel. There is no point in reading this book since I won’t find anything new. I can’t quit. I’ve tried myriad times. It’s impossible.»
I’ve also read different books on how to quit smoking, but they were of no help either. I didn’t go further than a couple of chapters. I foresaw the narration and predicted the outcome like Nostradamus. No kidding, I thought I already knew what would follow next, just like a psychic. What was it all for? My third eye said it wouldn’t help anyway. I was desperate. I deluded myself into thinking this way.
My negative attitude towards any new information blocked positive changes. In fact, I didn’t know what would happen. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to learn something new. I only thought I knew everything. Before I picked up any book, I had already decided not to give myself a chance to quit smoking. This must be familiar to you too.
You may have even read these books to the end, and tried different ways to quit smoking, but nothing worked out. Then you surrendered and realized that you were doomed to smoke and live under stress forever.
I was a heavy smoker for more than 20 years. No matter how many times I tried to quit, I always proved to myself that there was no way out. Yes, I quit many times. I would refrain from it for a year. But I would end up smoking again. I guess every time you failed, you lost hope that one day you would break free.
I had a strong sense of guilt for not being able to put an end to it. And since I can’t stop it, it means, for some reason, I want to keep doing it. And, if I want to, I have to explain it to myself. After all, I’m not an idiot. These thoughts were spinning in my head.
By the way, just to get you motivated, I can proudly claim to be a 100% non-smoker now. And I didn’t have to quit smoking in the traditional sense. I neither suffered nor exercised my willpower. I managed to grasp the meaning of smoking: why we do it, and how our brain reacts to nicotine. After that, it took me just a minute to give up smoking forever. And from that moment on, I never experienced any cravings. People around me can freely smoke as much as they wish. I’m adamant about that very point. I will no longer put my neck into the noose. I have no regrets or thoughts about smoking.
But if I quit using my willpower, as I did before, I’d be stressed out for the rest of my life. «Oh, I don’t smoke, but I crave it,» I’d be constantly thinking about how not to smoke.
I acknowledged my thinking patterns and debunked all the myths. At that moment, I realized that from now on I would be a non-smoker and a free person. I easily got out of the trap, and you can do the same. Today, without putting it off for tomorrow. Or now or after finishing the book. It’s as simple as that, but you can hardly believe it so far.
Neural Connections And The Way We Think
Let’s talk about our brain work and thinking patterns.
I will get off the main topic for a while to elaborate on brain mechanisms and the world around us. Even if this chapter remains unclear to you, it’s okay. It won’t influence your decision on whether to quit smoking or not. If we cut this chapter from the book, it will not lose its relevance. But I love «blowing your mind,» so I will talk about it.
I don’t fit the mould of a typical coach and author. When writing, I neither try to comply with any standards nor stick to a particular style. I break the stereotypes, so let’s pretend we are having a friendly chat in the kitchen. If you wish, you can easily skip this chapter. But please don’t give up on reading the book. It will be much clearer later. With this chapter you will have a deeper understanding of everything that will follow next. I’ll try to explain this very difficult topic as clearly as possible.
So, our brain constantly and intricately weaves neural connections (our thoughts) into so-called «solitons», nodes of beliefs. These are, conventionally, sturdy structures with nerve impulses, electricity, running through them. These neural connections must «feed» themselves with energy to remain viable. The system must be strong and closed so that it can’t be destroyed. And it will demand our attention so that we feed it with our energy.
Soliton, or a system of neural connections, is one of our beliefs; faith in something. It’s a certain pattern that we stick to.
Imagine the ceaseless movement of electricity inside these connections. The more we convince ourselves of something, the stronger our neural connections become. Soliton can’t let anything destroy itself, and always pitches some thoughts to believe in. Our thinking makes these connections more stable and indestructible. Our attention and faith keep the soliton alive more than ever.
If our faith begins to weaken, we stop giving impetus and vital energy to that thinking pattern. This section of soliton starts to fight back to protect itself from being destroyed. And it starts pitching thoughts again to grab our attention and make us stick to our old strong beliefs, strengthening its connection. This is mirrored in real life: we start to generate actions and pay attention to what strengthens our old beliefs.
Our brain consists of neural connections. Its work is manifested by extensive neuronal sprouting. Each second, 400 billion neurons sprout «branches». Each «branch» is a thought, and each of them gives energy, producing an electromagnetic wave. It literally builds «the images» of the reality around us with photons (particles of light). To put it another way, it builds our world. Everything that we witness around us, this whole world, is a projection of our mind.
It may be hard to believe. This is all taken from quantum mechanics and is scientifically based. Scientists, including A. Einstein, D. Bell, E. Schrödinger, W. Pauli, and many others, verified it. And I don’t even doubt it, as I’m a fan of quantum mechanics.
The main idea is that a thought generates a feeling that is turned into an image by the brain. The brain makes a decision, and the external reality confirms it.
Solitons, the strong neural connections of the formed beliefs, keep themselves alive by pitching thoughts and generating the images of the world around us. We pay attention to these images and confirm them as our reality, thereby giving vital energy to a soliton.
When we come across new information that clashes with our beliefs, we start resisting and boiling with anger. It causes adrenaline to spike, the heart rate to increase, and the blood pressure to rise. These strong neural connections start a war with us so that in no way we destroy our belief. On a neural level, they react as if we’re being threatened. When I take a cigarette as an example, it will become more or less clear.
I bet you’re very resistant to this information now. «What? Brain? Creates? World around us? Come on. Not possible!»
At this point, the parts of your brain that are convinced of the opposite begin attacking and «building» reality in order to persuade us not to destroy our existing belief and to reaffirm our old truth. That’s why we always deny something new, changes in general.
We will hold on to our truth till the end, even realizing that it’s completely illogical and not satisfying anymore. I don’t like this truth, but I’m convinced. But remember that it’s the brain, and these are your thinking patterns. The ideas that have been formed by strong neural connections are rebelling. To destroy them, you will have to fight yourself, but it’s a faulty way. What’s more, it often doesn’t work since you will have to go through a lot of stress, which will be difficult to cope with. After all, the war with yourself always leads to an endless war that can end with nothing.
But there is a way out: we can gently restructure our thinking patterns and beliefs into new connections. And remember, whatever thinking pattern you have; it projects a picture of the world confirming that belief. The more we are convinced of something, the stronger these connections become.
This principle lies at the heart of all my courses, whether they are about finance, work, health, fulfilling desires, or solving life issues. Everything we see around us is a projection of our thoughts. The projection of reality correlates with our beliefs and confirms them, so we make our brain stronger and it can function.
Any truth is self-confirming. You have probably heard it many times: «You get what you believe in.» We see the world in a certain way, react to it, and convince ourselves of the truth we see. This is exactly what a soliton needs — to supply itself with energy to stay alive. The connections become stronger and more stable. Soliton keeps adding thoughts and generating images so that we strengthen our belief. Our attention is the fabric of life. Hence, we perceive the world around us according to our beliefs and the truth in our heads.
Since I don’t tend to write in a linear fashion, I might have completely confused and tired you out. The way I say things sometimes resembles «alien language». Nevertheless, I tried to make it clear. I hope it resonates. I would be very glad if you come to realize this someday. But you need this chapter to connect the dots and have a deeper understanding of your smoking-related beliefs. Let’s talk about them now.
Quit Without Quitting
It’s no joke. Quitting smoking is fraught with the danger of not being able to quit. Moreover, smoking is just a consequence. And the more you try to quit smoking, the fewer chances you have of becoming a non-smoker. Why? Because when you start to light a cigarette again, you lose your faith in giving it up for good.
Numerous attempts to quit ended in a relapse. You started smoking again. That made neural connections become solid as a rock, and now they won’t let you destroy them that easily. You’ve lost hope of ever quitting.
Even if you start to repeat it like a mantra now: «it’s possible, it’s possible,» even if you say it a thousand times, it will not work. You’ve formed a solid belief based on your knowledge and experience, that is always reinforced by reality. Convincing yourself by repeating words is not effective, because the connections in your brain won’t allow you to destroy them. They will fight back till the end.
Think about it. Every time you slip, you assure yourself that it’s impossible to quit. And your belief will just keep getting more ingrained. Or you believe it’s difficult and this also becomes a thinking pattern.
You probably think that you like smoking, that smoking relieves stress and that it helps you enjoy life. When you smoke, you have a broad smile on your face, and enjoy the moment. Yeah, you have a lot of these beliefs. In that case, your brain will project relevant reality in order to strengthen and confirm them as ultimate truth.
Remember one paramount thing:
It’s not reality that convinces us of the something, when you «saw and believed», no. First, we «decide» to believe. Only then does the brain build up confirmation in the real world so that we witness it and our thoughts «grow stronger». It’s one of the scientifically proven functions of the human brain.
And now you have the opportunity to learn how it works, how beliefs are formed. You’re capable of changing your way of thinking. No rush, no struggle. Once you change your attitude towards smoking, your brain will create a new reality where you’re a happy non-smoker.
Don’t fight smoking. You don’t need to quit anything. You will not lose anything. Because smoking is only a consequence. Well, it makes no sense to fight it, because you have reasons to smoke. And we will talk about them.
The Main Fear Is Losing
The main reasons that cause our desire to smoke are fears. Yes, it’s a fear that makes us smoke. And we’ll deal with it as quickly as a squirrel eats nuts, in the blink of an eye. Trust me, you won’t have to deprive yourself of anything. I’ve repeated it so many times on purpose. You should calm yourself.
The biggest fear is losing. We are always afraid of losing something, staying without something we are used to, even if we need it, like a fifth wheel on a cart, and even if it’s dangerous. And the fear of losing something is a completely logical, well-grounded thing.
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