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Table of Contents

Space: One Hundred and One Stories of Surrealism

parallel universes

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© Rome Dik, 2022

Here you will meet Hercules and Dumbledore, the engineer’s mole, Pinocchio and Freddy Krueger who keeps his secrets in boxes, a traveler’s bat through the universes, a spider looking for a house in space, cannibal socks, evil-eater ponies, wizard whales, giant gnomes, physicists’ stools and much more.. Cyborgs and teleporters, vampire atoms, copycat shadow, speed train worm…. This book is a rest, an invention, but an invention; truly unique and beautiful. Do not believe? Check it out!

18+

Created with the intelligent publishing system Ridero

Table of contents

Space: One Hundred and One Stories of Surrealism

SPACE: one hundredone story of surrealism

SPACE: one hundredone story of surrealism

Good morning my new reader! Welcome to my world of unimaginable, breathtaking and burning universe. Here, on the way home, through the thorny and sharp thorns of pleasure, you will fall into magic. Here, the wildest dreams become reality, the most childish fantasies come to life, and the monsters from under the bed in your room begin to sob non-stop, so that only this story will never end. In truth, only a few of you will master it, but those few of them who start will never think in a formula again. We cut all standards to shreds, into small wallpapers of universes. Here every story comes to life with new paint!

This book is an amazing world of magic and fantasy, bewitching, beautiful and so crazy! Have a good journey, wanderer who has entered the pages of parallel universes, space-time and black holes!

Ah, here it is — the Earth, so round, ripe, like an apricot, you can’t say that a billion small parasites live there. Look… A worm the size of the Eiffel Tower jumps out of a volcano, and dives back into the earth, eating it from the inside, chewing its way to Australia. Well, he has teeth, I wonder. Greedy. They say that worms do not like poison very much, therefore they bypass the nuclei. It couldn’t be otherwise. And there, on the clouds, on this earth — there, you know, penguins are sitting. They flew here from the south, when it became completely unbearable to live. Pay the mortgage, pay the utilities. They are tired of everything. To catch fish and feed the children, what else! Children have flippers, let them feed themselves, let them find food for themselves and get it. The penguins have risen high into the sky and perched on the clouds, and are watching when it will be possible to slide down them into the ocean and swim away to the polar bears. They say, polar bears didn’t see them, it will be funny to see how a penguin swims up to a polar bear, but he does not understand whether it is a fish or a bird. Or a log — that’s all. Or still killer whale. No, of course, there is nothing funny about this, the penguin is very dangerous, he will lift the bear high into the sky and throw it into a cliff somewhere in a canyon in America, and the bear really does not like it when it is hot. He will pull out a fan and blow into it. Who loves, right? The bear will cry, the fan does not help, and will become straw, so dry, terrible. The Indians will find him, think that people from the city left them so that they would not starve, they will throw him on his back, tie him with a rope and go to the waterfall. They will sit down by the waterfall to drink water, and then… the dried meat will absorb the splashes from the oasis, get up, come to life and tear off the head of the Indian with his paw, and say that he did not want to. Well, how could I not want it, since I tore it off, I really wanted it, I assure you, he wanted all this, what a liar fart, tell me? Well, don’t say so. I took offense at you. By the way, what am I offended by? Oh, yes, well, they drove. So. And these Indians…

The Indians have always loved to tempt fate, because a long time ago they came up with a rite that made them immortal, and therefore, that Indian stood up, took his head, shook off the sand, screwed it in place, and extended his hand to the bear. He is not a dangerous Indian. Kind. Make friends, just wanted to. The bear grabbed a hand with its mighty, sharp, well, as befits all bears, paw, and squeezing it, hit it several times on the stones, smearing all its insides over the layer, until the Indian grabbed the bear with his teeth and gnawed it to the bone. They didn’t eat for several months. The teeth have not been eaten for a long time, and the stomach, and the intestines, and the liver. Yes, and worms, and they are very hungry for food. The bear fell in battle with his equal. The Indians killed him in no time. Worms then spat wool for two weeks. And the Indians, those who have seen, say they go without panties, because six covered them from behind. Forgot about shorts in general. And the penguin croaked, looked at it from his cloud, and laughed, threw sardines down. While they were flying, they were rotten. That day, all the flies around the canyon were feasting. The Indians were washed off the flies for two days, until they themselves became flies because the arriving wings made them fly. The Indians flew all night long, looking for this and that, they didn’t find what they were looking for, and then they also found what they were looking for. One of them was an old oak, they have been looking for it since last Sunday, they left their friend “White Mongoose” here, they all liked to call each other names of animals, they believed that if you take the name of an eagle, after death you will become an eagle. So, Mongoose, became a mongoose after death, however, he was tied to a chain, that oak was on golden chains, the scientist cat made circles on that chain and sang songs, a mermaid sat on the branches, only they did not save the “white mongoose” which became an ordinary mongoose, and he dried up, became an ornament of the oak root. Words were spared on him and they did not make him immortal. The mermaid had a high opinion of herself. She sat, and she herself was very high and dyed her hair pink with silt. I couldn’t step on the branches in any way, the absence of the second leg all the time interfered. The cat was a scientist, although he was smart, like, I don’t know, like a mole, or like a four-fingered monitor lizard, but he didn’t think of giving a hand. Because he knew: “a kind person will give a hand to a suffering creature,” and he has something at the very paw. Well, not fate, so it was a hand in hand. And so the “white mongoose” died that day. A bear would not have wished this on anyone, and the penguin, glory to all the kings of animals, was not sentimental and compassionate towards other animals, especially those whom he did not know. It was believed that this was how it should be, and they were supposed to die as well, well, nothing else. The penguin drank lemonade from pears, scratched his flippers with his beak, and shouted obscene words, the most vile words that could be in the world:

“You are all shit!”, “No one will save you, the world is doomed!”, “Death to all shells!”, “Sneaky squirrels have seized power!”, “Coronavirus is a stream of 5G networks!”. Of course, there was nothing wrong with that, but the penguin really wanted to believe that he was a very bad penguin. He’s royal. Only he had not seen the king for a long time, who knows where this king is now. The king penguin was without his king, a hermit, unnecessary. Since he flew away, although he never saw the king, but everyone shouted to him about it, he considered himself the most beautiful bird in the entire earthly strip of the milky river.

Look, the king penguin is flying! shouted people, orangutans and koalas. The penguin turned around, bitch at them, and flew away. So they need. He fed them, and was pleased with himself.

— I’m completely free! shouted the penguin, hiding behind a cloud.

Another strange animal lived in those parts, his name was a kangaroo, he always liked to jump over stones, climb trees and chirp. He chirped, Mom, don’t worry. Nightingales, thrushes, gulls, bees flew to his tweets, and let’s, as they say, fuck him with rocks, stools, zebra babies and the bones of an old man who drank milk nearby — until he, a kangaroo, fell off a tree and ran away to cry in a cave where he huddled in a corner and trembled. Indians have long known that it is best not to tweet when not asked. Once, being on the verge of life and death, the “Fat walrus” tweeted that all the same birds had flown in and given him, in common people — pi @ dy and the will to run, then the “walrus” did not eat for a week, and he had strength he was not there, but after eating a couple of pi @ duley, he immediately gained strength. They say the Indians still do this when they’re hungry. That’s where all the legends end. Rarely, of course, rarely, often it would still be, the birds eat the Indians themselves. I remember that myths circulated from mouth to mouth that a thrush, lonely and hungry, killed seven virgin girls of fifty years old in his lifetime, raping their brains, and not only, but also other holes that he found. This time, I believe, screaming in my ear, the brains leaked out, and then he ate the poor, young, completely helpless girls. And when there was no food left at all, he built nests in his stomach. Tweeted until the morning, until the doctors arrived — woodpeckers. The woodpecker did not particularly like the thrush, he tore out the ribs from the corpse, and pierced the woodpecker through and through, put it on himself, and pretended to be a woodpecker. In his mind he was a woodpecker, but according to custom, not at all. But all doctors knew where a person or animal was suffering, and woodpeckers immediately flew there. So, this thrush flew in first and ate the poor things. But these are only legends, whether it actually happened, the survivors will not say. I myself found out about this by chance, thank all the animals, especially the lion, that he ate me first when this thrush attacked my friend and raped him and killed him. And I’m safe inside the lion. I’m here cleaning his stomach, cleaning, sweeping, taking out the garbage through the hatch in the back. However, nothing special. Everyone cleans up where they live, since ancient times it has been so. So I became the last witness to the crimes of the bird. They say he hired the mafia to find me, invited gangsters from all over the world and promised them untold wealth. I take out the garbage through the hatch at the back. However, nothing special. Everyone cleans up where they live, since ancient times it has been so. So I became the last witness to the crimes of the bird. They say he hired the mafia to find me, invited gangsters from all over the world and promised them untold wealth. I take out the garbage through the hatch at the back. However, nothing special. Everyone cleans up where they live, since ancient times it has been so. So I became the last witness to the crimes of the bird. They say he hired the mafia to find me, invited gangsters from all over the world and promised them untold wealth.

On the other side, in Eskimosia, whales lived in huge yurts and needles. Their world was strange, but entertaining. It was interesting that here, the yurts were under water, over a kilometer long, like, even to say, a hotel for underwater inhabitants. Of course, at first people lived there, still on the surface, when all this was, until somehow, the Kraken hit his head on the island, and the island stood upside down and turned over. The bottom became the top, the top became the bottom. However, nothing really has changed, still! A little more, it could have changed. So, whales lived in that igloo, those whales were artists, they smeared the paint from the backside of squids with their tail and drew the most beautiful patterns. On that day, in a strange way, a boy rose from the bottom, not at all the way we used to see him. The lightning bolt scar alone distinguished him from the whales, he himself was a whale, one might say, just like a toy that was extinguished for seven nights on fire, and fried in acid for thirteen. He called himself a sorcerer, and how, by God, I pray with all my heart that they don’t execute me for this, he will wave his fin at the pictures, they immediately became alive, and you could go inside the work of art. If the whales had not seen all this themselves, they would have considered it magic!

Yes, this is just the beginning. It turned out that the whale painted a picture, and in that picture, behind a rock of shells, there was this boy, he somehow created a passage in the picture, returned from the bottom and revived himself. How! There was also a ship, strange though, with tentacles, they were spinning like fans and blowing beauty over the mast of the ship. The ship glowed, so much so that a Christmas holiday was invented on that day. Well, isn’t it a miracle? Of course, it seems to you that you do not understand anything here, I assure you, many do not understand what is happening at all. The whales themselves clap themselves with an oar, laugh like damned ones, and then, they remember that this is how it should really be. After all, they should not be alive, it was not supposed to be like that. But glad, of course, that they are alive, however. Not only did they know how to think, but such a strange misfortune was added, they experienced pain and compassion, cried sand, and suffered. They suffered especially when, and they are already very intelligent, they could not sit on human toilets, they cried there for days, sometimes even a week! Who made them so reasonable, and invented shame for them, because before, as it was, you swim for yourself, swim and defecate, and here, you see, your conscience torments you that they pollute the water. Like, breathing feces is harmful to the body. And suddenly it began to concern them, after a thousand years of poop in the sea, well, how is it at all. But, on the other hand, it should have been. He made them reasonable, and therefore they used their gifts. conscience torments that they pollute the water. Like, breathing feces is harmful to the body. And suddenly it began to concern them, after a thousand years of poop in the sea, well, how is it at all. But, on the other hand, it should have been. He made them reasonable, and therefore they used their gifts. conscience torments that they pollute the water. Like, breathing feces is harmful to the body. And suddenly it began to concern them, after a thousand years of poop in the sea, well, how is it at all. But, on the other hand, it should have been. He made them reasonable, and therefore they used their gifts.

Of course, they came up with them like that, whether the gods, but who knows, they themselves did not know about it, evolution, for sure. Yes, but they couldn’t take it like that and immediately realize that they are just tons of texts on paper, and there is no world at all. But they lived, did not suspect that the pawns in the game of words, some kind of puppets. But they were more alive than many. One of them, Kitrisius, a sea hermit, a genius in their world, created an airplane, thousands of meters from the Leaning Towers of Pisa, they sat on them and soared high into the clouds, across the oceans out to the penguins. Their tongues dangled from their mouths, rejoicing as if they had filtered water for their aquarium. Soared up to the clouds, and there they remained to live. There is plenty of water here, one might say, like in the ocean. The whales jumped off the plane, it exploded from below, killed a dozen dwarfs that drew a map of the evil kingdom for Snow White, and floated there, rejoicing in new adventures. It was rare to see two whales, they kept screaming, ringing, buzzing like a steamboat, and hiding near the sunset, and at dawn, they hung on the clouds and watched the sun rise high up. They somehow even tried to fly to the sun, but fell back into the clouds, bounced off and flopped on their belly. A flock of penguins would pick them up and turn them over so that their eyes would not pop out of their foreheads, but how could it be otherwise. This is what happens when you try to reach places where it is not supposed to reach at all. bounced off and flopped on their belly. A flock of penguins would pick them up and turn them over so that their eyes would not pop out of their foreheads, but how could it be otherwise. This is what happens when you try to reach places where it is not supposed to reach at all. bounced off and flopped on their belly. A flock of penguins would pick them up and turn them over so that their eyes would not pop out of their foreheads, but how could it be otherwise. This is what happens when you try to reach places where it is not supposed to reach at all.

Parrots also flew, only, unlike the whales that tried to soar above all, the parrots liked to build their houses on the ground, especially in the jungle, below the rest. They fought anacondas, twisted their heads, bit off their tongues, and then pretended to be anacondas themselves, inviting newly hatched babies to eat them. The parrot was not loved by everyone because he often was not himself. By themselves, their peculiarity did not help them. To know a special self, a parrot, and by whom it was created, was not enough brains. Therefore, he searched for himself in many other sounds of the worlds and the jungle. Once, flying up to his house, collectors — a gorilla and a buffalo — were waiting for him, because the turtle did not pay the bills for the grass at bungalow number seven, which he took out on credit. Since the only one who was closest, a parrot, of course, a confidant, was obliged to pay the bills. The parrot was not afraid at all, he pretended to be a dog, and the collectors immediately left, apologizing, because they were looking for a turtle, and did not recognize the dog in the parrot. This multi-colored bird beetle was cunning, every now and then deceived even the gods. He shouted that he was Poseidon, and spat with two wings, forming a tsunami for all the beetles under the tree. Of course, while sleeping.

Once, for the umpteenth time, how many more there will be, for the sake of everything ripe, cockatoos and flamingos came to his house, oh, they were handsome, they were so pink, yellow, the peacock would envy, and demanded a place for privacy from the parrot. Just think, love and all things are so birdlike, he gave them a place, in a hollow, in his own house, so elegant, green, trinkets everywhere. Flamingos and cockatoos came in and retired. Give, I think, the parrot says to himself, I’ll watch the show, the first time this has happened in his life, maybe he will learn something. And he sees the following: “Flamingos and cockatoos are sitting and smoking. Yes, not so hot, but a banana, without fire, is swallowed and put out of the mouth. A parrot flew up with a roar of a lion, scared away the birds, they immediately laid an egg, and demanded a share of their fortune. Well, what is this state, they are birds. And they coughed, took out a couple of gold coins, a ring and a necklace, gave it to a parrot. The parrot loves everything colored and glittery. In a word, only they mentioned that the parrot would not tell other animals about their game with the cockatoo. The parrot promised, of course, and five minutes after they left, he blabbed everything. And now everyone wanted to blow bananas. Yes, some, in general, you know, in addition to the backside, they did not have a mouth, but they also wanted to blow. So they blew until all the monkeys became extinct. They ate nothing but a banana, poor macaques really. And there is something that already someone, somewhere and somewhere, ate, well, it’s not here. The monkeys were proud. So they died, and were listed in the black book. Blacker was only the throat, where the bananas with the peel were doomed to disappear. The banana has become a scarcity in the world. Black markets sold fresh, but there was no way to get them. so that the parrot does not tell other animals about their game with the cockatoo. The parrot promised, of course, and five minutes after they left, he blabbed everything. And now everyone wanted to blow bananas. Yes, some, in general, you know, in addition to the backside, they did not have a mouth, but they also wanted to blow. So they blew until all the monkeys became extinct. They ate nothing but a banana, poor macaques really. And there is something that already someone, somewhere and somewhere, ate, well, it’s not here. The monkeys were proud. So they died, and were listed in the black book. Blacker was only the throat, where the bananas with the peel were doomed to disappear. The banana has become a scarcity in the world. Black markets sold fresh, but there was no way to get them. so that the parrot does not tell other animals about their game with the cockatoo. The parrot promised, of course, and five minutes after they left, he blabbed everything. And now everyone wanted to blow bananas. Yes, some, in general, you know, in addition to the backside, they did not have a mouth, but they also wanted to blow. So they blew until all the monkeys became extinct. They ate nothing but a banana, poor macaques really. And there is something that already someone, somewhere and somewhere, ate, well, it’s not here. The monkeys were proud. So they died, and were listed in the black book. Blacker was only the throat, where the bananas with the peel were doomed to disappear. The banana has become a scarcity in the world. Black markets sold fresh, but there was no way to get them. apart from the backside and had no mouth, but they also wanted to blow. So they blew until all the monkeys became extinct. They ate nothing but a banana, poor macaques really. And there is something that already someone, somewhere and somewhere, ate, well, it’s not here. The monkeys were proud. So they died, and were listed in the black book. Blacker was only the throat, where the bananas with the peel were doomed to disappear. Banana has become a scarcity in the world. Black markets sold fresh, but there was no way to get them. apart from the backside and had no mouth, but they also wanted to blow. So they blew until all the monkeys became extinct. They ate nothing but a banana, poor macaques really. And there is something that already someone, somewhere and somewhere, ate, well, it’s not here. The monkeys were proud. So they died, and were listed in the black book. Blacker was only the throat, where the bananas with the peel were doomed to disappear. The banana has become a scarcity in the world. Black markets sold fresh, but there was no way to get them.

Even in those jungles there lived a hippopotamus, only the island of Madagascar was fatter than it. Well, he was and was, what’s wrong with that, isn’t it. And he dived into the swamp, and flew out of the black hole in space, and again flew into the black hole, and, with his mouth open, jumped back through the swamp. He was an astronomer, he studied the stars around the earth. He saw, of course, not very well, because he wore glasses. He stuck them right into his eye like lenses. And who taught him to wear them, no one, he himself learned. Since then, he saw many stars, but his paws were not the same, and so be the case, he got himself lapwings, small birds that recorded the cosmic world according to them. Hippo said:

— Round, white!

Lapwing spelled round white. Put a white dot.

— Black everywhere! — jumping out of the swamp, the beast whispered, and flew away again.

Chibis wrote:

— White, everywhere black around. Round. You are. Dot.

He did so many dots that all the whites were white, all the round ones were round, and they had no names. But then, looking at night, and comparing the stars on the sheet with the stars in the sky, the hippo nodded that the lapwing wrote down correctly to every point.

— White and round.

Crocodiles lived in the desert. They are doctors, after all, they helped any dying person. When patients came to him with a complaint, the crocodile nodded importantly and said that there was always a way out. Swallowed them. And the patients didn’t get sick anymore.

Even real centaurs flew in the sky, a mixture of not a person, but a lion, a giraffe and a rooster. They were very beautiful too. The tail of a lion, the mane of a lion, the neck of a giraffe and the body of a rooster, and the beak. He could fly, of course, so-so, but he crowed beautifully. When he did this, all the animals immediately fell unconscious. It was from fear, or from what else, who knows, after that they did not wake up to find out what a wonderful voice that beast possessed. Therefore, selling earplugs, the jerboa has become a real oligarch of the animal world, and the richest animal in the entire planet. Of course, you should not believe these tales, but that’s the way it is. For them, the world ended where they lived.

At seven o’clock in the afternoon, when the space leeches that fed on thunderstorms crawled out of the sky, the desert was already dry, like the skin of an old grandmother of a rattlesnake. Rattlesnakes spit sand, and their eyes saw pixels. Space leeches loved to hurt, and instead of blood they ate clouds. They fed on lightning and became more dangerous themselves, let’s just say, save our souls, save our asses, monsters that killed whales. Whales are harmless, why do this, so we didn’t understand it either. But the leeches were poisoned later. Pegasi knew their stuff, they burped magic, and since there was no grass in the sky, they ate leeches instead of everything. The more they ate them, the faster and faster they became. Soon, leeches are completely gone, they say, occasionally you can hear how Pegasus neighs, sweeping the farm yard where they breed them, and eat only on especially difficult days. Leeches, they like piranhas, they jump out of their enclosures, pegasuses immediately eat them. Then the brain of them, of space creatures, let’s say, developed by watching their relatives die. They got smarter. One of the leeches, there is such a myth, walks on the head of a mighty Pegasus, eats lightning, and shares them with him. It’s up to you to believe it or not, but sometimes I’m afraid to look at the sky, it’s very dangerous, and I haven’t seen clouds for a long time, and I haven’t seen thunderstorms since the creation of spacecraft. There are only two of them, one for a jaguar, the other for a person. A jaguar is watching on his Netflix from the future, and a man is trying to fly to the moon to leave a trail. Only all the time somewhere the fuel disappears. And this, it turns out, the raccoon drinks all the fuel. Only he became invisible, because he mutated, because the person still could not find him. in space creatures, say, developed by watching their relatives die. They got smarter. One of the leeches, there is such a myth, walks on the head of a mighty Pegasus, eats lightning, and shares them with him. It’s up to you to believe it or not, but sometimes I’m afraid to look at the sky, it’s very dangerous, and I haven’t seen clouds for a long time, and I haven’t seen thunderstorms since the creation of spacecraft. There are only two of them, one for a jaguar, the other for a person. A jaguar is watching on his Netflix from the future, and a man is trying to fly to the moon to leave a trail. Only all the time somewhere the fuel disappears. And this, it turns out, the raccoon drinks all the fuel. Only he became invisible, because he mutated, because the person still could not find him. in space creatures, say, developed by watching their relatives die. They got smarter. One of the leeches, there is such a myth, walks on the head of a mighty Pegasus, eats lightning, and shares them with him. It’s up to you to believe it or not, but sometimes I’m afraid to look at the sky, it’s very dangerous, and I haven’t seen clouds for a long time, and I haven’t seen thunderstorms since the creation of spacecraft. There are only two of them, one for a jaguar, the other for a person. A jaguar is watching on his Netflix from the future, and a man is trying to fly to the moon to leave a trail. Only all the time somewhere the fuel disappears. And this, it turns out, the raccoon drinks all the fuel. Only he became invisible, because he mutated, because the person still could not find him. and share them with him. It’s up to you to believe it or not, but sometimes I’m afraid to look at the sky, it’s very dangerous, and I haven’t seen clouds for a long time, and I haven’t seen thunderstorms since the creation of spacecraft. There are only two of them, one for a jaguar, the other for a person. A jaguar is watching on his Netflix from the future, and a man is trying to fly to the moon to leave a trail. Only all the time somewhere the fuel disappears. And this, it turns out, the raccoon drinks all the fuel. Only he became invisible, because he mutated, because the person still could not find him. and share them with him. It’s up to you to believe it or not, but sometimes I’m afraid to look at the sky, it’s very dangerous, and I haven’t seen clouds for a long time, and I haven’t seen thunderstorms since the creation of spacecraft. There are only two of them, one for a jaguar, the other for a person. A jaguar is watching on his Netflix from the future, and a man is trying to fly to the moon to leave a trail. Only all the time somewhere the fuel disappears. And this, it turns out, the raccoon drinks all the fuel. Only he became invisible, because he mutated, because the person still could not find him. to leave a mark. Only all the time somewhere the fuel disappears. And this, it turns out, the raccoon drinks all the fuel. Only he became invisible, because he mutated, because the person still could not find him. to leave a mark. Only all the time somewhere the fuel disappears. And this, it turns out, the raccoon drinks all the fuel. Only he became invisible, because he mutated, because the person still could not find him.

By the way, did you know that the first flight to the moon belonged to a bat? I’m telling.

One day, a centaur chased after him, and the bat got so scared that it broke the sound barrier and flew out into space, and hid on the dark side of the moon. Since then, this mouse has only been living there, because all the others are no longer at all in the world, they are hiding in more visible, but already known places. Delicacies from them, of course, are so-so, but for lovers of meat on the bones, this is a real delicacy. That mouse, occasionally crying, looks at the ground and wipes his eyes with a wing, because his favorite playstation five, on which he loved to play battlefield five, remained there. He wipes his beads and cannot believe that he worked two years for nothing in the firm of his goat friend, only to lose everything like that when the magic began to seep into his house. But in one, of course, he was lucky, no doubt, his eyes saw like binoculars, no, more precisely, as he himself repeatedly repeated, telescope, he looked at libraries with them and read books, straight from the moon. That’s how easily he managed to learn everything, and create a house on the moon, grow food. He even created living organisms, because there were no females. Of course, he did not build a rocket, but still, he managed to make a space backpack. And even a helmet. He put them on and flew off to other worlds, planets, and looked for others, the same as himself. After all, he could not believe that all bats are alone in the universe. Well, it can’t be like that. He flew for a long time, once again overcoming the sound barrier, and his sound barrier turned into a light one. And in just a week, he got to another galaxy. Here a surprise awaited him… because there were no females. Of course, he did not build a rocket, but still, he managed to make a space backpack. And even a helmet. He put them on and flew off to other worlds, planets, and looked for others, the same as himself. After all, he could not believe that all bats are alone in the universe. Well, it can’t be like that. He flew for a long time, once again overcoming the sound barrier, and his sound barrier turned into a light one. And in just a week, he got to another galaxy. Here a surprise awaited him… because there were no females. Of course, he did not build a rocket, but still, he managed to make a space backpack. And even a helmet. He put them on and flew off to other worlds, planets, and looked for others, the same as himself. After all, he could not believe that all bats are alone in the universe. Well, it can’t be like that. He flew for a long time, once again overcoming the sound barrier, and his sound barrier turned into a light one. And in just a week, he got to another galaxy. Here a surprise awaited him… and his sound barrier turned into a light barrier. And in just a week, he got to another galaxy. Here a surprise awaited him… and his sound barrier turned into a light barrier. And in just a week, he got to another galaxy. Here a surprise awaited him…

This is not worth talking about here, all sorts of dangerous contractors are watching my every word to find a bat. They’ve even set up an account for those who can get their hands on the very last living scientist bat. All the riches of the earth, and even the neighboring planet, were promised. Therefore, I won’t lie, but I can’t say in which galaxy the mouse is now. Silent-silent. But know one thing, he found something important, very significant, even more expensive than the reward announced for him. So it goes.

But about the engineer’s mole, I can tell you one interesting thing. Just imagine how this mole, in a few days, managed not only to open a short wormhole into the portal to the other side of the earth, that’s how they later began to call it, by the way, and so… it means that he opened this amazing hole, and what do you think? All the animals of the world mixed up and moved into his world, wolves, Amur tigers, pandas, wolverines, snakes… For the snakes, of course, the mole was happy, he hadn’t eaten his favorite food for a long time, and this is his food, so to speak since then favorite. No one has seen this engineer, but every week, amazing things happen all over the planet. Either a dinosaur falls from the clouds, then a Mammoth lives on the street, and a prehistoric man produces fire in a cave. Recently, huge rabbit centipedes jumped out of the ground, and instead of dragons, pterodactyls began to fly — without a scarf and handkerchiefs. The frogs are now afraid to go outside, they say they are afraid of dragonflies and flies that have become the size of a bull. Oh, fathers, sparrows! Could such a tiny mole have been able to open a gap between time and space.

Once, he even got into Einstein’s room and stole his sandwich from there. When Einstein noticed the hole, the mole waved its paw at him and smiled. After the sandwich is lost, Einstein looks for a way to get it back. Since then, the scientist’s hair, rumor has it, never obeys him from shock, even glue did not help, and scissors broke. And once, walking through the holes, the mole went into Lermontov’s room when he was reading a letter from Mendeleev. Seeing him, Lermontov curled up on the floor and asked him not to tell anyone about love with the old man. After all, he was ten years older than Mendeleev, and with such a big difference in age, marriage was not allowed and they were executed if they found out. The mole smiled, scratched his head, and then changed the channel. He fell for a long time, maybe an hour or five minutes, there really is no time here. He got to Elizabeth II, she neighed like a horse, that she began to turn into a horse, her hooves and tail grew. Immediately the mole ran away from there. He didn’t particularly like horses. And once in the room of Leonardo da Vinci and Galileo, the mole could sit here for months, watching new discoveries. Then he flew away, wiping his eyes with a handkerchief, because he would miss them very much. And once, he got into the magical world, they confused the mole with a glass and kissed him on the mouth, trying to drink wine. The mole also does not like magic anymore. He almost choked, and something flew in his stomach. It was anthrax. If you start an ulcer, a “stranger” could grow. I had to tinker and fly into the future for a cure. Hire the Terminator and Predator to escort you to other worlds. the mole could sit here for months, watching new discoveries. Then he flew away, wiping his eyes with a handkerchief, because he would miss them very much. And once, he got into the magical world, they confused the mole with a glass and kissed him on the mouth, trying to drink wine. The mole also does not like magic anymore. He almost choked, and something flew in his stomach. It was anthrax. If you start an ulcer, a “stranger” could grow. I had to tinker and fly into the future for a cure. Hire the Terminator and Predator to escort you to other worlds. the mole could sit here for months, watching new discoveries. Then he flew away, wiping his eyes with a handkerchief, because he would miss them very much. And once, he got into the magical world, they confused the mole with a glass and kissed him on the mouth, trying to drink wine. The mole also does not like magic anymore. He almost choked, and something flew in his stomach. It was anthrax. If you start an ulcer, a “stranger” could grow. I had to tinker and fly into the future for a cure. Hire the Terminator and Predator to escort you to other worlds. If you start an ulcer, a “stranger” could grow. I had to tinker and fly into the future for a cure. Hire the Terminator and Predator to escort you to other worlds. If you start an ulcer, a “stranger” could grow. I had to tinker and fly into the future for a cure. Hire the Terminator and Predator to escort you to other worlds.

But the Gorgon, already seven years retired, the snakes have withered, covered with dust, withering, no strength. But that’s not the point. Here she has a bed, she left the room where she stands a long time ago, but everything is not just like that, you understand. Little people live in that bed, if you can’t see them that way, but if you zoom in through a microscope, a hundred thousand people are running around there, with maps and tools, building houses, inventing rockets and airplanes, building machines and firms. Once the Gorgon slept here, but at one fine moment, something began to prick her in the side. Something stuck on her. She got up, believe it or not, and noticed some kind of needle. I tried to pull it out, the whole bed was raised. And it turned out to be a skyscraper of these people. Up to the sky. How and who built it, there is no idea, but Gorgon feels that the magic of the great sorcerers and black druids is involved here. One of them just once disarmed her. People themselves do not yet fully understand where they are and who they are. But they are developing. For them, the whole bed is a huge galaxy. Someday they will definitely break out of there or create magnifying rays, but then, all of you are praying here, there are millions of them, or maybe trillions, if they become large, Saturn will not be enough for them. Therefore, the Gorgon keeps the room closed, you never know, albeit cramped, but not offended. What tightness can we talk about, by the way, when they do not even know about the existence of this world. He sprinkles them with salt so that they do not deteriorate, and sometimes he throws memes into the room so that development ceases to be. Someday they will definitely break out of there or create magnifying rays, but then, all of you are praying here, there are millions of them, or maybe trillions, if they become large, Saturn will not be enough for them. Therefore, the Gorgon keeps the room closed, you never know, albeit cramped, but not offended. What tightness can we talk about, by the way, when they do not even know about the existence of this world. He sprinkles them with salt so that they do not deteriorate, and sometimes he throws memes into the room so that development ceases to be. Someday they will definitely break out of there or create magnifying rays, but then, all of you are praying here, there are millions of them, or maybe trillions, if they become large, Saturn will not be enough for them. Therefore, the Gorgon keeps the room closed, you never know, albeit cramped, but not offended. What tightness can we talk about, by the way, when they do not even know about the existence of this world. He sprinkles them with salt so that they do not deteriorate, and sometimes he throws memes into the room so that development ceases to be.

Here Pinocchio, once, for the sake of all good things, noticed that, taking scissors in his hands and playing with him just like that, he breaks the matter of time and space. The frail boy did not immediately notice this, only partly due to the fact that he saw the whole of reality. Sheets and rolls of space fell into his lap, torn and crumbled in the air, and he realized that the air was not air. That all the air is actually the universe, but someone else’s it, those who lived in it. The planets crashed against the waves, rolled out of their orbits and flew down into his lap. That is why the inhabitants of those galaxies and planets also died. The boy no longer cuts the air with scissors, but looks for people, looking at the air, in order to save them and transfer them to a flask where no one will cut them. But the air was endless, and the unknown galaxy, even more. He breathed them. Of course, for those residents until they die and are sucked into the boy, many million years will pass, but still, it’s bad to die, as Pinocchio believed. And then he stopped trying. Everything was arranged in such a way that it was so. And saving is not his task. After all, someone is also breathing them right now, and someone is also cutting their universe with scissors. He thought about it for a long time, that he fell out of the world and ended up in a mental hospital for his stupid theories. But here there was room for him. By swallowing sedatives, he could communicate with people from that planet. They looked at him and were surprised, asked questions, and the boy answered. Everyone around thought he was crazy, and he was the simplest boy who was just the first to see that world. When asked what he sees, he answered universes, time and space. You’re lying, they answered him, but he doesn’t, look, the boy repeated. The nose didn’t grow. He definitely didn’t cheat. But people did not know that his nose grew from lying. So the boy lives there until now. Rotting. Doctors pour water on him to keep him from lying, and he couldn’t tell the truth, which was the truth. For the truth, he was watered even more. The boards on the leg immediately swelled, an allergic reaction of Pinocchio’s body began. He began to age and wrinkle, rot, turning into dust.

The penguin scratched the back of his head and jumped down. The clouds are fluffy, like I don’t know what, they haven’t come up with such a word yet. The penguin brushed his hair back, climbed out of the water, played with the muscles on his chest, and winked at the seagull that he was free at any time if she wanted to have some fun. The seagull didn’t mind, of course. The bird also loved to fly, but today it ate a lot of fish to fly. The penguin gave a disdainful look and dived back until he ran into a shark. The shark wore glasses and taught fish, jellyfish, skates, rays new rules of arithmetic. When she saw the penguin, she waved her flipper and said to wait. Approaching the winged bird, she coughed up the South Ocean crucian, and the penguin, patting her on the back, swam away.

Thor drank ale at three o’clock in the morning. This happens after a long fight with the condors from the cave of Triaascal. Condors are not less than ten meters, the beak is made of diamond, the stomach is made of titanium, and the wingspan reaches forty meters. Thor fought with him for a long time, until one of them offered a draw, that was the condor, but Thor, he, after all, a god, cannot draw with the monster, therefore he deceived him, saying well, and hit him in his most vulnerable place fist, on the little finger on the right leg. From pain, his beak crumbled, his titanium belly flattened out, and his wings fell off, and he became a plucked chicken.

Here, among other things, on this peach, of course, people also lived, well, how could it be without them. Magic has no place to be without them, after all, for their sake, it was created. Only now, science has long passed and managed to penetrate into the minds of many inhabitants of the planet that magic, in fact, was not necessary in order to be able to control everyone on earth. With one bomb, a person could kill pointwise any, let’s say, one species. They set the timers of small nano atoms to look like an animal, and all these atoms found any kind, wherever they lived, passed through walls, universes, water, found all, of course, earthly ones, and tore them apart from the inside with an explosion. Therefore, the monsters themselves did not go out against these monsters, and even the gods, whom people considered immortal, turned out to be mortal when Athena died from such a bomb, when she decided to kill the president of the land. Since then, here, every man for himself. Such are the things. Going through this topic does not make any sense at all, you have known them for a long time, you are people yourself, and you yourself have seen those devices for a long time. Truly deadly and scary.

Among other things, in this world, the land where such beautiful creatures live, well, it can’t be otherwise, I think there are even more amazing monsters — these are jellyfish that play golf sitting on Jupiter, play with the moons, I don’t know what, trying to hit white holes, holes in space. But after all, the moons must always be in their places, in their universes, only because they are white, and not others, so that through the black ones they can fall back under their paws and tentacles. Oh, these jellyfish, there is no use for them, but if you notice, trouble will happen, you will sting, you will die immediately, they throw the planets high up, maybe down, who knows, space never had directions, and they throw them into the hole, with a tentacle strike. Planets, moons, they all roll across the field, and then they are grabbed by tiny, but equally agile lemurs, they throw them into the ring of Saturn, playing basketball, And how happy they are when they hit. They beat each other for joy. Those planets quickly return back, rolling into place, like on a pool table, and, of course, it happens that lemurs are greedy, jellyfish have to fight with them on their fists. Of course, there can be no talk of any jellyfish fists. It could not, but here everything is arranged differently, alas, because the jellyfish itself, if you look, has a real fist. One blow is enough, it used to be for a lemur to die. there is a real fist. One blow is enough, it used to be for a lemur to die. there is a real fist. One blow is enough, it used to be for a lemur to die.

In the kitchen, in a house on the outskirts of the forest, a guy was sitting, an ordinary person, but he had kilograms of sweets in his closet. Only these sweets were not at all simple, but magical. Anyone who ate them immediately became a robot. And all because demons lived inside sweets, they seduced and invited people to eat them, and then they themselves ate people from the inside, built real mechanisms, frames there, and turned human skin into a robot. As real, there are legends that even the robot itself does not know that he is a robot, because the memories are alive. In a small box, the demons store the brain, protect it, and, depending on the need, rebuild it and introduce their memories. It happens that they go to hell in this body to assure people that there is a way out, to give them hope, and then, insidiously and cruelly, speak the truth, showing themselves. Immediately the man suffered even more,

In Siberia, well, where else could they be, if not there, lived snowmen the size of a mountain. And the Yeti lived with them there, a huge enormous hairy man, there was only hair on the body, only two eyes and sticking out, glowing under the moon. They played building house with the snowman and threw lances. The peaks reached, almost to the height of a tree near the mountain, and, only as tall as a car, a Yeti. They rushed like this until the morning came, and in the morning, of course, they always slept so that people would not notice them. When you look from below, you can see two huge caves, these are not caves at all, but the eyes of the mountain, but people do not see all this, because the mountain knows how to hide itself very well. Yeti, in order not to get caught, will dig out a norm for himself in the snow, climb into it, and sleep until evening, and wake up from the cold. He raises his head, and there is a blizzard. It hits him from side to side like a European flag, and he is holding on to a Christmas tree, and yelling at the mountain to give a hand, but the mountain is much larger, does not hear, the snow has laid his ears. So the Yeti flew far, far away, made a circle around the mountain seven times, and fell again into the snow. He used to fly across the sky, Crows and Penguins would fly in, sit on his back, and sleep while he was flying. And once, it was two or three days, a huge sea turtle crawled out from under the water, and shouted to the Crows to tie a rope to the Yeti. And the turtle flew from below, because it also always dreamed of flying, only it was very big, and therefore sometimes jumped up to overcome at least a hundred meters. Because the Yeti was a kite. He used to fly across the sky, Crows and Penguins would fly in, sit on his back, and sleep while he was flying. And once, it was two or three days, a huge sea turtle crawled out from under the water, and shouted to the Crows to tie a rope to the Yeti. And the turtle flew from below, because it also always dreamed of flying, only it was very big, and therefore sometimes jumped up to overcome at least a hundred meters. Because the Yeti was a kite. He used to fly across the sky, Crows and Penguins would fly in, sit on his back, and sleep while he was flying. And once, it was two or three days, a huge sea turtle crawled out from under the water, and shouted to the Crows to tie a rope to the Yeti. And the turtle flew from below, because it also always dreamed of flying, only it was very big, and therefore sometimes jumped up to overcome at least a hundred meters. Because the Yeti was a kite.

Dwarfs always said:

“It takes three gnomes to get a light bulb!” — but each of them tried, but their height was still not enough to the ceiling, — So ten! — but even ten did not reach the light bulb, and it was necessary to screw it in, so they called a man into the hut. The man helped, but leaving, he said:

— It’s good that you called me, you are too small, even together, you have a hundred thousand dollars.

Well, they gave him the gold of a leprechaun, and agreed on that. Thumbelina came, put two chairs, unscrewed the light bulb and said that warm light was needed here, for comfort.

Can you imagine how many stars there are in the sky, how a dragon floats across the galaxy, spewing marmalade from its mouth, how a rabbit flies in a balloon, singing Philip Kirkorov, and somewhere on Pluto, there lives a mosquito that can compose galaxies. The mosquito comes out onto the veranda, and, waving its trunk, begins to create new galaxies and planets. On one, a mosquito created giants that ate only small mushrooms, and on the other, a Hedgehog that could dance break dance and make ice out of sand. On its planet, the mosquito wanted nothing more than a tank of donated blood and a couple of secluded, dark places. But one day he got bored, he waved his magic trunk, created a cruiser and went to the created galaxy, only fell out of the cruiser along the way, because he forgot about the toothy pikes that swam through space and ate everything.

— What if everyone lives in a tea leaf? — the moth thought, eating out a fur coat with a friend, — Imagine that this is space, and planets are scattered there! There are butterflies, and flies, and lizards, even people!

— Marvelous! the friend agreed.

“Here, in a tea leaf,” he said, “the same Tim lives like you, a little moth, even smaller than you and me,” taking a leaf out of his pocket, “maybe he’s even your little clone, and also eats a fur coat, only a lot long years ago.

— Cool!

“And don’t say, but they don’t even know that it’s hot on the planet for them, because we boil them and eat them in a cup and teapot.

— Like this?

— You put it in the water, and everyone drowns there and dies. They swell, the planets become doughnuts, big as if they took water in their mouths.

— Ah, got it.

“Yeah, and I thought you were always stupid. Turns out you’re even dumber than I thought.

They ate, but Henry’s moth continued to occasionally examine the leaf, whispering to them that he saved their universe, and put it in his pocket. Then the closet opened and they flew out, but the fly swatter took them out and smeared them on the wall. So it happens, people often also missed a stop on buses, talking about something distant. So the moths did not notice the danger, only at the last moment. He became the last one.

Imagine a sock on the floor, stick your foot in, and there… but everything is in order. This sock is not at all ordinary, but a real magic sock. When a person puts them on, he immediately enters another world. There were werewolves and vampires, they are at war. Van Helsing also got here, from there he pulled out several werewolves, and they took over his world. But Helsing was the coolest of all, because he himself became one, returning to the past and being born a Lycan. He kept a secret within himself with the sign of Baphomet, which held back his rage and transformation. When the time came, he became a werewolf the size of a dachshund and flew south because there were no werewolves. They were not there, except that the magic was strange there. Climbing the highest mountain on Olympus, Helsing noticed that a new werewolf grows from every hair that falls out. He never wanted to be a father, but who chooses that was the purpose. They also need to be fed. Therefore, he raised more werewolves, and until they were formed, he gave children to eat for his children. Yes, they themselves could make children and eat. Children ate their children’s children. And Helsing decided that enough was enough from him, and flew back to the sock, climbed into the past and was born a man. Immediately all the werewolves perished on that mountain.

Freddy Krueger always had three sheets of drawings hanging in his room. He was afraid to pick them up, because there were other worlds behind the picture. One of them contained his fears, the most hidden ones. Spinners. He was always afraid to try to twist them on his finger, because the claws got in the way, and when they fell, Freddie’s lips twisted and he felt embarrassed, because even children knew how to twist them. Therefore, he began to kill the sleeping ones, until they learned how to twist them, disgracing him. There was plenty of fear. For example, Olga Buzova. When Kruger crawled towards her, trying to get into her head in her dream, he fell into purgatory, there was nothing but emptiness and longing. There were no dreams or thoughts. Even the memories were nowhere. Krueger huddled in a corner and cried, tore at himself the last hairs that had survived after the fire under the sole of his left foot, between the little finger and the ring finger. Purgatory didn’t answer. So it was before the creation of the big bang, nothing else. Also empty and lonely. In hope, by no means, who knows. But… Krueger began to see lights, it was his eyes that were looking for light in the darkness. Krueger himself tried to sleep, to see his dream, to get into his head, but he could not. It seemed to him that he closed his eyes, and someone kept them open. Freddy did not see him, and ran into the darkness screaming for rescue. But no matter how much he ran, someone kept holding his eyelids all the time and did not let him sleep. Buzova’s strength had no boundaries, Fredd had no control over her. This was a real prison. to get inside my head, but I couldn’t. It seemed to him that he closed his eyes, and someone kept them open. Freddy did not see him, and ran into the darkness screaming for rescue. But no matter how much he ran, someone kept holding his eyelids all the time and did not let him sleep. Buzova’s strength had no boundaries, Fredd had no control over her. This was a real prison. to get inside my head, but I couldn’t. It seemed to him that he closed his eyes, and someone kept them open. Freddy did not see him, and ran into the darkness screaming for rescue. But no matter how much he ran, someone kept holding his eyelids all the time and did not let him sleep. Buzova’s strength had no boundaries, Fredd had no control over her. This was a real prison.

Behind the second drawing was his least favorite lesson. Physics. He couldn’t understand what it meant to change the laws of the universe. The teacher told him that it was impossible to get into a dream, when Freddie began to tell his story, then he hit him with a pointer right in the eye, in the pupil, and Krueger immediately fell silent. And it happened that the teacher would grab a stool or a desk, and how he would hit Freddie on the back, so that all the teeth flew out to the floor, where obscene gnomes and tooth fairies converged.

Behind the third drawing was the most terrible fear, but also the most beloved dream of all the dreams in his world. Kruger feared him at the same time, but also loved him. If only no one saw it. This secret cannot be told, otherwise all the monsters in the world will take up arms against him, because there is one magical sound in the world that disarms all magical and formidable creatures. Even Krueger, reading it, became a baby, a coward and a stutterer. It was pierced with a trident, and it burned on fire for ten thousand years. Therefore, he would never want to open this drawing. Therefore, he sealed it with adhesive tape and electrical tape, nailed it on top with boards. Even the Dementors would have seemed like a joke, an ordinary sheet. He could, he got this sound from the god in his head, when he was distracted, if he opens the picture, god will see him, the sound will pierce the world, and all the spells will fall from everyone, even from him. God will have to create everyone from scratch. Certainly, Freddie would like to be the only such monster, magical, but no way. Hush hush…

Let’s get away from this Freddy, because other creatures have the coolest. The most amazing thing is that Gulliver, which he can have in principle, has a mirror in the room, which reduces the weight of a person. When you look at it, when you see yourself up to the chest, in reality, your lower half immediately disappears, moving into the mirror. And the mirror projects you from the mirror into reality, like a hologram. The weight of this miracle of the body, after all, has long been known, five micrograms. Gulliver is weighed every day on it, looking. It was then that Gulliver was captured by dwarfs and midgets, they covered the mirror with a veil, and Gulliver fell to the ground. He has only the upper half on the ground, and the weighty, lower one remains inside the mirror. Lilliputians beat him and beat him, because he doesn’t even have arms, everything is in the mirror, if he raised his hands when he looked, maybe the hands would be. When they get tired of beating the giant, when they eat all the food at home and rob him, steal gold and teaspoons, open the mirror and run away. The lower half flies out of the mirror and sticks to Gulliver. He gets up and starts stroking himself because it hurts. He had been beaten. He is angry, but he cannot find the midgets.

Oh, if he had a smartphone, they would help him find these midgets, because phones have already appeared unusual, which can magnetize midgets to the smartphone cover. And inside it, the hamsters of physics are pedaling, they know for sure that movement is life. When the phone turns off, they wipe off the sweat and go to sleep. Sometimes it’s a whole day, sometimes it’s three minutes. It’s an hour, the battery needs to be filled with energy and movement. When they click on the screen, the loader inside runs and moves, rebuilds the world, the settings section, mail, and anything that a person clicks on, then the builder builds the loader.

Have you ever seen ostrich diggers? But the wasps see them every day, because they hire them to build holes for them. Real tunnels. They are even hired by ants when they do not have time to cook at home before winter. They gnaw the earth with their huge teeth, like worms, inside, shrink and spit, like plasticine and crawl. Their mouth is a bottomless well. Everything eaten flies out in another place, through a teleport, in Yakutia. The same teleport inside the ostrich. In Yakutia, I accept land and plant palm trees around yurts. They feed the elephants. Elephants eat and become even wrinkled and wiser. And then they tell everyone to feed everyone with normal food, and that all the Yakuts are fucking degenerates, dumb-nosed.

Ants themselves are ordinary, only now they keep in a cocoon not babies of ants at all, but real people. Little ones. They also suck on nipples in a cocoon, and they got here from a rocket in orbit. The nipples are from the intestines of spiders, and from the milk of a rabbit. When people go to sleep in cryosleep in their capsules, they move into the ant’s cocoon, which has decreased. Back, then, as it turns out, it is impossible to return. So, among the crowd of ants, you can see a person who carries a grain of sugar on his back or pulls straw behind him to strengthen the passages to the tunnels. They swear, yell, but they do it. Let them not do it, the war ants will cut off their paws. Ants do not need weak companions. Not at all. Once, one of us here tried to build a car in order to move faster, but they immediately killed him, calling him a charlatan and a vile lazybones. Now it is forbidden to think without an order. People run and run, get tired as soon as they sit down, get a spear in the belly, and run again. Let them crawl, but do not stand still, do not create traffic jams in the tunnels with ants. There is a porter here, no, he doesn’t rape anyone here, he drags cocoons of ant people on his back to a nearby anthill, runs around like a formula one car, because he has a mutation, seven legs, the seventh on his head. He keeps hitting the ceiling with it, and his leg runs along the ceiling and pushes him back into the anthill, from where he takes the cocoons. Therefore, with his saliva, he tied this leg onto his back, and now even cocoons are better to hold on to, because there is support from below. Instead of a tail, so to speak, but he, as it were, is fine. Only one eye sometimes interferes with him when, after leaving the anthill, the sun shines into his eyes. If there were two eyes, he would close the right one from the right sun, and run with his left eye. And here, sometimes he stumbles, and a tick sticks into his eye. It is difficult to pull them out, they have twisted teeth. But if you tickle them between the legs, they let go of the eye.

They say that the leaves that fall from the side of the forest, that far behind the sun, millions of thousands of light years away, hides a planet that cannot be seen by any telescope. Aliens live there. They walk on their heads, eat with their fingers, and talk in wind dances. By their structure, they are like a thin sheet of A4, standing sideways, it is impossible to see them, but standing in front of someone, you can see their flat faces. Drawn nose, eyes and mouth. Aliens often liked to look at the stars from their planet, only they did not see the stars like we do, because the laws were different there, as if everything around was drawn with colored pencil and felt-tip pen. White unpainted dots on paper, in the blue sky, green, barely shaded trees that flew through the air, with a frequency of 2 frames per second, and animals that often fought with the winds and flew around the planet, grabbing and tearing clouds to shreds. The birds were like two sticks, flapping their wings, and fell in a minute. They could fly for barely a minute, and when it started to rain, they all hid under cover. Here the rains were stone and wet. Each of them was scarier than they could have imagined. But everything was enough, so to speak, to lie down on the ground and become flat with the earth, part of the planet, and the stones could not do any harm at all, but the rains, it was difficult to hide from them. The wet world of the aliens was becoming uninhabitable, so they invented a fan made from the skin of monsters, shredding them to ventilate the earth. than they could imagine. But everything was enough, so to speak, to lie down on the ground and become flat with the earth, part of the planet, and the stones could not do any harm at all, but the rains, it was difficult to hide from them. The wet world of the aliens was becoming uninhabitable, so they invented a fan made from the skin of monsters, shredding them to ventilate the earth. than they could imagine. But everything was enough, so to speak, to lie down on the ground and become flat with the earth, part of the planet, and the stones could not do any harm at all, but the rains, it was difficult to hide from them. The wet world of the aliens was becoming uninhabitable, so they invented a fan made from the skin of monsters, shredding them to ventilate the earth.

The ferret lived in a hole under a nuclear power plant, and never complained about the radiation. The ferret wore his fur coat with caution, but how could it be otherwise, and all because the fur coat was unimaginably predatory, every hair is worms with teeth, predatory. The worms ate the radiation itself, straight from the air and soil, tearing apart matter itself. Actually we don’t know. But we will continue. When a man killed a ferret, and then the beast went out to take a pee behind the fence, after watching a cartoon; to make themselves clothes for the winter, the worms ate a man by jumping out of it. The fur coat became even fatter. Well, a worm cannot eat a hundred kilograms and not get fat. On earth, many ate one hundred grams of sweets and carried them up to two hundred kilograms. And so. The meat they ate began to mutate, and those worms turned into snakes. Tired. We fell asleep. For two years they lay swollen on the ground, cars rolled over them. The fur coat floated in a puddle towards the drainpipe, it was carried away in the claws of birds and gnawed by flies. Dogs defecated on them. Cats slept on them. Once, I remember, this fur coat was used instead of a condom by black swingers-Arabs.

The hibernation lasted only nothing, for the third year, when the homeless Ivan put it on himself, and went into the top five, the fur coat came to life and, from bewilderment, how is it, yes, I all of you … — the fur coat ate the homeless, sellers, movers and buyers.

The ferret could not stand it, well, nothing else, you know, a fur coat kills, and she… sits in hell for herself, playing goat with the devils. People felt sorry. Yes, and he is completely naked, it should be a shame. It all happened from the fact (maybe he would not have returned, free pudding in hell) that the devil began to go to work more and more often, to be distracted in order to torment people. So you can’t play cards. Damn James, leaving the room, and coming back in about five minutes (and here one minute lasted a month), he declared to the ferret that he was tired of working. He began to complain that people were coming and coming. The devils know who died and how, so the devil James told him that it was time to return. He got fed up. The devil opened the door and kicked the ferret in the opening, the ferret tumbled, hit his head on the armature on the floor, ate a watermelon, gnawed out the baskets, did ten thousand somersaults and grabbed his fur coat, put it on, and left the store. Just before the entrance, he stopped, and a homeless man got out of his fur coat, completely alive. And all the people got out too. Then James’s head popped out and said:

— Suffer on earth! — and disappeared, closing the portal. For seven more nights, the salesgirls cried to go back to hell. “Here’s the hell with you!” the devil yelled as he changed channels in the cinema.

At night, one boy’s toys came to life. And in the closet lived a bone man. The monster liked to come out of the closet and grabbed the boy by the leg, and terribly sentenced that he would eat him. The boy was afraid. But the toys weren’t afraid of anything, because they ran to the boy’s aid, and beat the monster either with stools, then with legs, then with a knife, and from time to time they hung him on a rope and threw him out the window. The bone man screamed, asked for mercy, then the toys dragged him back, and forced him to cook a cake so that the boy would forgive him. He baked a very tasty cake, by profession, when he was still alive, before he went to hell and became a servant of Satan, he was famous throughout France for confectionery, because he is a cook, after all. The boy found a cake on the bedside table in the morning, and thought that his mother had baked it for him. Branches beat against the glass in the room, the bone man crawled out of the closet again, took out a saw from his cloak, and wanted to cut off the boy’s leg. But then Iron Man, Indiana Jones, Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan attacked him and beat him, broke his fingers and chained him to a cross, took him to the forest, and, having found a cornfield there, left him there. The bone man was shouting something, but he was not heard at all. Only the bones rumbled. There is no language. Dragons sat on him backwards, and he drowned there. Then the dragon flew away, and a cross stuck out of the back. Where this bone man is now is unknown. Maybe he will still come to the boy, but many, many years later. If he finds a way. but it was not heard at all. Only the bones rumbled. There is no language. Dragons sat on him backwards, and he drowned there. Then the dragon flew away, and a cross stuck out of the back. Where this bone man is now is unknown. Maybe he will still come to the boy, but many, many years later. If he finds a way. but it was not heard at all. Only the bones rumbled. There is no language. Dragons sat on him backwards, and he drowned there. Then the dragon flew away, and a cross stuck out of the back. Where this bone man is now is unknown. Maybe he will still come to the boy, but many, many years later. If he finds a way.

The boy got up, opened the closet, and there sat Bilbo Baggins, he twisted the ring in his palm and hissed. The boy was scared. What is his grandfather doing here? He called his mother and father. His father beat him with a closet door, put him in a garbage bag and took him to the cemetery, where he buried him. Bilbo said something, pulled his hands in a garbage bag, asked for mercy, who knows, but he is still alive. All because he put on the ring. And waiting for the kings from Sauron to find him. They will find, perhaps, but shovels will be needed. And kings never held shovels. They will sit at the tombstone and cry. Then they will go and uproot the trees, and there are goblins and trolls.

Toys, of course, the boy never saw alive. The boy was blind. But he saw the aura of sweetness. Sometimes, the boy dropped a cake on Jackie Chan, and began to see him, grabbed him, and broke his neck. Jackie Chan screamed, came to life, and beat the boy unconscious. He lifted his head and put it back on.

“If you raise your hand against me again, I know where I’ll put your head!”

The boy curled up in a corner and cried. Then the fairy godmother flew in through the window and promised to fulfill one wish. The boy smiled and wished that he had ten rubles to buy chewing gum. Then the fairy flew away, and the stupid boy was left with ten rubles.

Golden eels, too, were alive in some way. They sailed from Eldorado and settled the Atlantic Ocean. The eels enjoyed photographing landscapes, setting off fireworks, playing hide-and-seek with dolphins, and eating lost people on boats. He, as expected, loved the fishermen very much, he hunted them. He jumped into the net, and when they pulled out, rejoicing at the catch for dinner, the eel shot lightning at them, made barbecue, and sprinkled with ketchup, ate right on board the boat. He invited octopuses, squids, piranhas, sharks and plankton to the feast. SpongeBob was not invited that day, but all because he worked hard today. He washed nuclear submarines and cleaned toilets. If the eel didn’t know the square, it would never recognize black Bob. Plankton was always trying to find out the secret of cooking such a tasty person, and what is included in the dish, and why it is so tasty. The eel smiled twisted his finger at his mouth, licked his nails and said that this was a secret of the company and it was protected by copyright. Only Zeus looked at it and sighed, licking his thin, dry lips. He loved barbecue, but he did not have a passport, so he had no right to go down to earth. On Olympus, no one fried it, including shish kebab. Hercules liked to eat dietary supplements and proteins. Athena ate bananas and coconut milk. Aphrodite fed on the blood of virgins. Hermes ate iron. Ares preferred wet ground. Poseidon bathed in the fountain and ate fish. Only Apollo was unlucky the most, he liked to eat the sun. And Hephaestus, the son of Zeus, sucked the flame all the time. They were not up to that, not up to human comforts and up to the cannibal eel. He loved barbecue, but he did not have a passport, so he had no right to go down to earth. On Olympus, no one fried it, including shish kebab. Hercules liked to eat dietary supplements and proteins. Athena ate bananas and coconut milk. Aphrodite fed on the blood of virgins. Hermes ate iron. Ares preferred wet ground. Poseidon bathed in the fountain and ate fish. Only Apollo was unlucky the most, he liked to eat the sun. And Hephaestus, the son of Zeus, sucked the flame all the time. They were not up to that, not up to human comforts and up to the cannibal eel. He loved barbecue, but he did not have a passport, so he had no right to go down to earth. On Olympus, no one fried it, including shish kebab. Hercules liked to eat dietary supplements and proteins. Athena ate bananas and coconut milk. Aphrodite fed on the blood of virgins. Hermes ate iron. Ares preferred wet ground. Poseidon bathed in the fountain and ate fish. Only Apollo was unlucky the most, he liked to eat the sun. And Hephaestus, the son of Zeus, sucked the flame all the time. They were not up to that, not up to human comforts and up to the cannibal eel. bathed in the fountain and ate fish. Only Apollo was unlucky the most, he liked to eat the sun. And Hephaestus, the son of Zeus, sucked the flame all the time. They were not up to that, not up to human comforts and up to the cannibal eel. bathed in the fountain and ate fish. Only Apollo was unlucky the most, he liked to eat the sun. And Hephaestus, the son of Zeus, sucked the flame all the time. They were not up to that, not up to human comforts and up to the cannibal eel.

Canned goods migrate to the island of Fiji. They have brains. The ocean brings them to the Nandi dock. Residents go out to the beach at dawn and collect them in baskets. The bodies of small people lie in the hut. They are placed in the head, closed. Children are alive. They downloaded the memory that the inhabitants of this island are their friends, they know their names, where they live and work. The residents also acted like they were their children, they knew them, they pretended and played their parts. When children became old, their brains decreased with age, at the end, after death, young people, those who had just arrived on the island, but they already had what they needed to do, they took out their brains — they folded them into a bag, put them in canned food and sent back across the ocean. At the end of the year, canned food returned with new memories. The dead bodies of the old people grew younger and became children again. Brains were placed in the same bodies into dead bodies. They lived the same life round and round. They took it out. They revived. Younger. They were dying. Stupid. But each time they had new memories. Brains, however, were also intended for those suffering from schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, psychosis — separate tin cans with a green marker. In this city, people washed the air with a mop. When they chatted with them, floors, walls and roofs grew and materialized in the place where they swept the mop. In the forest, eagle owls, owls and hawks fought in enclosures, danced the waltz and tango. The orc referee ate a rock hamburger and in forty years never stopped a fight. psychosis — separate cans with a green marker. In this city, people washed the air with a mop. When they chatted with them, floors, walls and roofs grew and materialized in the place where they swept the mop. In the forest, eagle owls, owls and hawks fought in enclosures, danced the waltz and tango. The orc referee ate a rock hamburger and in forty years never stopped a fight. psychosis — separate cans with a green marker. In this city, people washed the air with a mop. When they chatted with them, floors, walls and roofs grew and materialized in the place where they swept the mop. In the forest, eagle owls, owls and hawks fought in enclosures, danced the waltz and tango. The orc referee ate a rock hamburger and in forty years never stopped a fight.

Having crossed and climbed the tower on the neighboring island, across the ocean, you can see a walrus from the fire. He works at the lighthouse. Shows the way for ships so that they do not crash on rocks and corals. A toad was sitting nearby, which in the morning swallowed a walrus to sleep. During the day, the toad cleaned the room, mopped the floor, dusted and cooked.

The legs of chairs and tables lived on the third island. Sick and thrown out by the gods. Garbage. They jumped around the island, and loved to swim on the water, compete in speed. Some of them were surfing, some were snowboarding. Among them lived white, black, red and green legs. Yellow legs were considered to be jaundiced. The red ones were owned by a demon, a former worker of hell. Blacks tan very often. Whites worked on farms and dug holes for vegetables. The bandits were crushed into dust, into sawdust and sprinkled on the ground like fertilizer. At noon, a round board fell from the sky. All legs gathered around him. The board rolled up the mountain, where no one could jump, and proclaimed itself a god. The legs have been wearing it on their heads ever since. So they got a table. People who come to the island often like to eat on it. The legs stood straight in a row and did not move even once. A snowboard was used instead of a chair. The man became the god of the god. And the legs understood that everyone has their own god, even a person, and the god of a person.

Hats lived on the fourth island, lost in time. They burned with ice, and extinguished themselves with poems. If they stopped reading poems, they melted and died. Because the island was a real buzz. Vote. Hats often hurt. Of course, their people did not hear, neither birds nor fish. But as soon as you put them on your head, the poem echoed into your mind. The man went crazy, and his head froze. Once, one hat threw itself off a cliff into the ocean and flew to Antarctica, where she did not need to listen to the cries of colleagues and friends, and not melt. He stopped reading poetry, but due to the lack of other skills, at times he began to compose them again. The polar bear snow society saw the hat, decided to hire him, built a head that spoke the hat’s thoughts through speakers, and he became Antarctica’s highest paid comedian and poet, working for praise.

If you paragliding from this place, and take refuge in the library of Maximianopolis in Egypt, you can see wonders that are not found in other countries. Especially in the library of magic and sorcery. Every year people die here just because they choose the wrong books and wrong authors to read. Opening a book about the collapse of Rome, Romans with spears, swords and arrows run out of the book, tentacles the size of an airplane break out of Howard Lovecraft’s Cthulhu book, and when opening literature on ghosts, Bloody Mary rips her eyes out through the reflection. Here you can burn, drown, be killed and buried alive. Maugham, when he got here lost his arm, because he studied the alligators of the prehistoric world. Ernest Hemingway burned his eyes when he saw an angel, and Dostoevsky, being here, contained a thousand souls that helped him write books. Everyone has different situations. But without a doubt, miracles were nightmarish and dangerous. Wizards escaped through the books, Voldemort tried to negotiate with the library caretaker to give him a flash drive to load his soul, but the librarian clapped his hand, and the wizard flew into the book. It was like being sucked in by a vacuum cleaner. The Snow Queen promised to kill the librarian if he did not help him, but the caretaker took out a magic wand from his bosom, which he received from a book, and waved it back into place, turning it into a bag of gelatin or a Barbie doll. Here, from time to time, animals appeared that ran along the shelves, the authors fell, opened up and the flood began, a megalodon swam out, a dragon flew out, dead samurai raged. On the one hand, a vampire, on the other, a storekeeper of memories. The caretaker at such moments had his own abilities, except for magic. Rewind button. He rewinds time grabbed the beasts and stormed out the door before they could scatter the books and cause mayhem. A hand clap would not have removed the chaos, therefore, there was nothing more wonderful than rewinding time in the magical library. The dead could be resurrected, and those who lost body parts could grow limbs. Of course, the library keeper could call the best doctor from the book, open the door to the future in order to grow legs or kidneys, remove devices from the room in the book, which would allow not to get injured. But it was not worth the risk, because the characters could kill them, seize a library, a city, a country, experiment on living people. There is always a risk, still, who would want to live all their lives in a world where everything is worse than anywhere else. Hell. there was nothing more wonderful than the rewinding of time in the magical library. The dead could be resurrected, and those who lost body parts could grow limbs. Of course, the library keeper could call the best doctor from the book, open the door to the future in order to grow legs or kidneys, remove devices from the room in the book, which would allow not to get injured. But it was not worth the risk, because the characters could kill them, seize a library, a city, a country, experiment on living people. There is always a risk, still, who would want to live all their lives in a world where everything is worse than anywhere else. Hell. there was nothing more wonderful than the rewinding of time in the magical library. The dead could be resurrected, and those who lost body parts could grow limbs. Of course, the library keeper could call the best doctor from the book, open the door to the future in order to grow legs or kidneys, remove devices from the room in the book, which would allow not to get injured. But it was not worth the risk, because the characters could kill them, seize a library, a city, a country, experiment on living people. There is always a risk, still, who would want to live all their lives in a world where everything is worse than anywhere else. Hell. remove devices from the room in the book, which would allow not to get injured. But it was not worth the risk, because the characters could kill them, seize a library, a city, a country, experiment on living people. There is always a risk, still, who would want to live all their lives in a world where everything is worse than anywhere else. Hell. remove devices from the room in the book, which would allow not to get injured. But it was not worth the risk, because the characters could kill them, seize a library, a city, a country, experiment on living people. There is always a risk, still, who would want to live all their lives in a world where everything is worse than anywhere else. Hell.

But what are we about the library and the library, right? Let’s fast forward to the world of science, where a spoonful of gunpowder turned a person into someone who, in no other way, could be, the person himself wanted to turn into. The powder contained the genes of animals, and after tasting only a spoon, people turned into animals or gained their strength. Marvelous. Charles Chaplin received here the grace of a cat, and Goethe the vigilance of the mind. Bulgakov found the strength of stubbornness in himself and saw other worlds at the bottom of a cup, Dickens was rewarded with the charm of a monkey and the mind of a raven. Goyle became a hippopotamus, Marie became an eagle, Anastasia became a fox. And meanwhile, well, you can imagine, I have a hand on cutting off the ladies, the animals that tried this miraculous powder became people. They were them, of course, only now, they never learned to be people. The tigers that became Homo sapiens walked on all fours. The dogs were barking. The cats hunched over and urinated into slippers and into the corners of rooms. Eagles jumped from rooftops. Giraffes were reaching for the leaves of the trees. An animal is always an animal. A person can be taught, he thinks, and an animal is a stupid creature, it imitates the life of the jungle, more precisely, it lives according to the laws of the forest, and gives preference only to instincts. But what a fantasy, just don’t put your finger on me, the bugs didn’t become anything at all, but received only the mind of a person, and every time your eyes fell on the floor, you could see cockroaches, stag beetles running around the chair, flies and fleas. They danced, they played billiards, they threw bread crumbs into baskets of cobwebs; push-ups and pull-ups on the horizontal bars. The ants that came running last fought the spiders in the fight. Bloch had the hardest time. Stronger and larger — intelligent insects, used them instead of a soccer ball, scoring goals into impromptu goals. Then they noticed big people, and began to swear, raise their fists and tremble nervously: just so as not to be crushed. Bite them on their big toes, tear their hair from the root. Whether they wanted places, who knows. But the fighters are still those. Scream. Hysterics. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. Then they noticed big people, and began to swear, raise their fists and tremble nervously: just so as not to be crushed. Bite them on their big toes, tear their hair from the root. Whether they wanted places, who knows. But the fighters are still those. Scream. Hysterics. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. Then they noticed big people, and began to swear, raise their fists and tremble nervously: just so as not to be crushed. Bite them on their big toes, tear their hair from the root. Whether they wanted places, who knows. But the fighters are still those. Scream. Hysterics. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. as long as it doesn’t get crushed. Bite them on their big toes, tear their hair from the root. Whether they wanted places, who knows. But the fighters are still those. Scream. Hysterics. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. as long as it doesn’t get crushed. Bite them on their big toes, tear their hair from the root. Whether they wanted places, who knows. But the fighters are still those. Scream. Hysterics. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that yesterday they were catching butterflies, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washstand. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that yesterday they were catching butterflies, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washstand. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him.

And on a farm near Edinburgh, the cook’s cows lived, they ran to the table, cut themselves, lay down on the pan, seasoned themselves with vegetables; potatoes, carrots, onions, garlic and peas. People, meanwhile, ate, smacking their lips and saying what good cooks are. It used to happen that Monroe would come in to eat a goose stew, the rams would take out knives, cut those, marinate them in sauce, stew them in a roaster, and serve them on the table. If, however, the meat did not go well into the stomach, the goose meat pulled out its arms and pushed off the walls of the trachea to fall into the bottomless crater of acid. When people, after two, I tell you God, days, defecated, the geese flew out of the fecal ditch, regenerated back into birds, and made their way to the farms where they were killed, only to be back on the table. Imagine what self-sacrifice in the name of saving the hungry. Such would be miracles, but in Australia and Africa,

If you put on a baseball cap, the baseball cap will slide down the body, and you will disappear under it, falling into a fairy tale. And if you swing and throw yourself into the water, the baseball cap becomes a ship. If you say, casually, that you have a fat ass, you will become Kilimanjaro. Yes, yes, everything is strange, but what is strange when everything in the world is so simple. If you jump from a plane, you can see how you become a pancake, and if you lie down on the road on the highway, you can see how mincemeat is made. If you hit the rhino on the nose, you can notice that in addition to three holes, there is both the fourth and the fifth, and if you put a bandwagon of the elephant, then the Niger will not help you. Even Niger will not help Negro if Niger is fighting with a niger.

Clouds. We fly through the clouds and see unusual animals jumping outside the porthole, so unimaginably delightful, just imagine. They jump so high that they hit the moon with their heads and sing that today is a better day than yesterday, ten times better, can you imagine?

And here I presented. But not only unicorns, kangaroos and coyotes jump there, but the most unusual of them — such as centaurs, well, how could it be otherwise if they are not animals, well, people, you agree?

They jump so high that the moon trembles from a thousand heads striking it. And a huge gnome lives on that moon, this gnome was born there a long time ago, I don’t even remember what century it was — I know for sure that this gnome loves animals, so much so that he invites them to live with him, promising them delicious food and grass. In addition to the centaur and the minotaur, of course, no one agrees, but how could it be otherwise, who knows who this dwarf really is.

You sit on your chair and wonder why you looked at the sky so often and didn’t see them because you were so grown up and distracted by all the nonsense around you. In an instant, you wanted to change, remembered how as a child you dreamed of becoming a dragon or an eagle, flying high up and shitting on those who were against you. Today, you left all your affairs to rest and rushed forward, through the clouds, cutting them on the plane — only you cannot fly to them, and they cannot enter the plane to you — they do not even see you, because they were not told that there are adults in the world, besides children, who can see them. They themselves saw the children and waved either their tail or their hooves and said hello to the children, accompanied them with shouts and flew away towards the sunset.

The children laughed and rejoiced. But there were also adult children among them, when the little ones pointed a finger at a unicorn and said how beautifully it chews a marmalade cloud, they did not see anything and simply twisted their finger around their temple and said that it was time for them to see a psychiatrist to be cured. But childhood does not need to be cured, it was childhood that gave us happiness, well, really… Can you imagine how many adults who are unhappy because they have become adults, they are interested in money and how many people will come to dinner, how big their hall and house will be, how much acres to reach beyond the horizon of their land, that’s all!

And then… the unicorns flew over the horizon, and the most fascinating animals appeared in the sky, and not even animals… fish of different sizes, perches, crucian carp, dolphins and sharks, jellyfish and killer whales swam among them, among them were stingrays and jellyfish- dwarfs, skates and a thousand more clown fish, they circled in a round dance and turned the sky into a real holiday — fireworks from them, this is the best thing the children have ever seen. And there were fireflies among them that shone, and flew up to the porthole and circled outside the window until they were called crickets, composing a song for them, come here, something cool has been prepared for you here. They flew away, followed by hummingbirds, they often liked to fly through the sky and catch these fireflies, but today was a different day — a day of piety and friendliness. These are the things that are happening in heaven, but only adults forgot a long time ago,

Somehow you may be lucky, and you will believe in miracles at the age of forty, at a hundred years, when you are still alive and your mind is not busy earning as much as possible, and achieving as much success as possible — everything in this world is beautiful, even without the money that you save up all your life — it’s so simple.

One day, flying like this in the sky on an airplane, you will fall asleep, and when you wake up you will see purple frogs jumping on your clothes, then do not be afraid, everything is fine. In fact, only you can see them, otherwise all people would have long since jumped from their seats and panicked, not even an hour, and then the plane will fall — these are magic frogs, they do not come to adults and boring people. Rejoice. Just for a moment you began to believe in miracles, and miracles are all around you. Many of them will jump on the floor, chameleons will run along the walls, hummingbirds and jellyfish will run through the window, and below, the whale swims so majestically, waving its fin so hard that the clouds rush over the horizon forty times faster than ever.

From under the wires of the garlands — who lived there in the country of the Lilliputians; a brush flew out and began to chirp that he did not agree with the hand of the padishah holding his ass. After all, he is, you know, straight and against fisting! Drowning himself in the toilet, he doesn’t like it, you see. And who, pray tell, likes it, except maybe a dog named “Moo-mu”. He also played such BDSM games with Gerasim, went fishing and drowned, they really enjoyed it. They say that Mu-mu drowned himself with his paw by the hair in order to get more adrenaline. With the other hand he beat himself on the second, but the second was cruel, laughed and bit, throwing the first hand into the urn near the shore with piranhas. A dwarf-nose lived in the lake, on his hump they danced break-dance and tango. Each time returning to life, the dog barks at people, provokes anger, and asks them to drown him in a basin in the bathroom. His silky hair would then jump on his back, blown by the wind of diamonds. He loves it, except he can’t die, his head hits the floor, and he’s sniffing the dust left behind by Flash last week when he ran after Ant-Man in search of the microverse on the flea’s back.

Yorshik beat the padishah’s hand until the padishah stuck his head into the toilet and scribbled marmalade from the walls of the zombie city. The zombies there were scary, they were toothy, terribly screaming, stretching their paws and trying to eat marmalade before the brush. Yorshik ate them by their impudent paws, and there is no other way to get rid of these infections. Mr propper cries when he sees them. Even he cannot wash their dirty faces.

— Yes, you choke! — spitting zombie arms and legs on the crocodile’s back underwater. He sat at the bottom of the toilet and read the newspaper “Komsomolskaya Pravda” spreading his paws on a deck chair, smoking a Hawaiian cigar made of worms. He smiled contentedly, laughing as he turned the page to another. So it was, I swear to you the life of cockroaches all over the world! Yes, so that they all die, if I’m lying! Yes, cake in my mouth! The same thing, they immediately believed, they still doubted.

If only Aunt Motya, the most insidious of all turtles in the world, knew that his son spends his money like that, she would return and beat him with a belt of chainsaws and sharp saws. And then I would sell leather on the black market for shoes. Blondes from Moscow are very turned on by crocodile skin. They even die when they stroke the skin of a crocodile. That’s how much they love each other.

And here, a beautiful deer lived in Narnia, he ran away from there that week, went out to Kazan, wiped the snot from his face and began to cry. All people were without body hair. It’s horrible… terrible and frightening. Seven years have passed since then, since yesterday, because he considered, like, one day, seven years. Butterflies taught him so that they lived one day in his world.

The hippo loved cotton candy, and every evening he went to work with the cloud people and pulled pieces from the clouds, and made cotton candy out of them, sprinkled with sugar on top. Of course, people did not know this, that they made cotton wool from clouds, because when they gave cotton wool to hippos, they plugged their nose during bleeding, and their buttocks during injections. Hippo spread your arms to the sides and ran away. He cried for three days, then his eyes dried up, and he climbed into the lake, which he himself cried out. He drank half, mixed the rest with mud and became a statue, until better times. He will wake up tomorrow, when people will say “today” not today.

A goose lived in a column of one giant, he had the ability to know all the songs in the world, and all the languages of the world. He barked all day in Mongolian, Tajik and Chinese. He knew physics and chemistry, zoology and astrology, and every evening he thought about the stars about millet porridge. One day, returning from a Negro disco, the giant forgot the black speakers. And the Negroes do not stand on ceremony for a long time, they stole the column and brought it to the point where they sold burnt things. Here they are vtyuhivayut column, when suddenly, a goose beatboxing, speaks in the voice of Putin, everyone immediately fled, and some of them killed themselves in the name of God. It’s not surprising, since Satan himself got in touch through the speakers.

— I will slaughter you all, gentlemen and gentlemen, I will sell your offal on the black market for free. We’ll make activated charcoal out of blacks.

Well, how can you not be afraid. For the hands of a white man to touch them, but this will never happen!

Once, Mike Tyson took a loan and did not pay it, and waited for collectors. There was a knock on the door, several whores lay on the threshold, a hundred million dollars in suitcases and Elon Musk, tied and gagged. Mars was in his eyes. People from that planet waved their hands, fired salutes and laughed. They bought a ticket for this performance today. The whores hovered at Tyson’s feet, without panties, and demanded that he be gentle with them, because they are from the planet of the veil, and their skin is fragile, like crystal.

The mummy, returning from the other world, found that all the toilet papers were sold out by alarmed people during the coronavirus. It became a shame for the mummy to walk naked, and lies in a coffin and waits for toilet paper with a three-layer soft face of children to appear instead of paper.

In Zeeland, under the bricks on the beach of the Maldives, in a large hole, maniac mushrooms live, they run around with kitchen and hunting knives and kill people. They pounce on people’s heads, cut out their ears, eat them, break their legs and put them under themselves instead of legs, put on their heads instead of a hat and run around the clearing, laughing, happy. Snowdrops, chanterelles, fly agarics and a variety of mushrooms catch people, trip them, then pounce, tie their legs and drag them into a hole and skin them there.

In Bashkiria, herbivorous wild people live, primitive. Seeing people from neighboring republics, they hide under a stone, and sit, wait for people and attack them with spears. Their hair is pulled out and glued under the armpits, arms, legs and chest. They believe that hair should be all over the body. And they worship monkeys because they have the most hair.

I saw him the summer before last, when the stars were killed by a fragmentation grenade. The grenade shattered into pieces, and little dwarfs with knives and forks flew out of them, and they stabbed the star into the tank, having previously tied their mouths so as not to scream. Here he was among them — my little brownie, manual. His name is Seryoga. He is a legless invalid. His leg was bitten off by sharks when I threw him over the side of the boat. He tried to climb back, but my boot was not simple, with one sharp blow I opened his venous vein, and he, like a fountain, flew back, and the shark grabbed him and dragged him down. When Seryoga shouted that he would let me stay with him for a week, I immediately pulled his body without legs from the water. Then he started threatening me. Can you imagine me? That I’m a bad friend. Son of a bitch! I had to throw him back, where he was torn to pieces by piranhas, because the back is also a leg. The chest remains yes hands. He didn’t scream anymore. It is understandable, I closed his mouth with a sock, which I removed from my foot. I protected them and never took them off for ten years. He could not pull them out, because I tied his hands in his rectum, and pulled him out through his nose, and with a bow, and with a bow. When a week later, three years ago, the time came to leave the house, I had to roll it up in a carpet and throw it in the trash. And he told everyone that he had gone on a business trip abroad. But whoever asked me, no one actually saw my brownie. We shared responsibilities at home equally. He cleaned, cooked, washed, brought money, repaired and bought everything, and I watched the weather on TV and told me when to go out so that he would not get caught in the rain. Every time he left, slamming the door on his skateboard, I laughed because he forgot to put on his shoes, stupid Seryoga. He tumbled down the stairs. He loved it — as he himself said, he loves parkour and break dancing, in a word, wallowing on the ground. I also laid a place for him on the floor of dirt and old, worn underpants with dead rats. In the morning I opened the cage, walked him on the balcony, while he was doing business there, and he himself would put it in a bag. Sometimes, I didn’t have time to walk with him, I needed to be lazy, he grabbed himself by the leash and walked himself. When the alarm clock rang, he pulled himself out of the balcony. When he did not obey, he beat himself on the armature on the balcony, and pinched his temple with the door. Only strangely he did his business due to the lack of a backside, and shit from his mouth all the time. I told him that you can just open his stomach and pull everything out, it’s not the case to defecate through the mouth. And he, you see, does not want to be cut. But then it will be convenient. Sew on the lock and open it,

So. They took him away in a dustbin, never saw him again until that day. Well, I didn’t see him, I watched him through binoculars in the photograph on the wall of his mother, no more, I remembered with good words. How he cleaned, walked himself and washed the toilet. Now I had to buy brushes and sponges. But he licked everything well, to a shine. When the cat hit him on the back with a stool, he smiled. The cat did not like crybabies and began to scalp Seryoga. There is not a single living seamless place on the face. The cat beats him, then sews him up, sitting by the fireplace. However, I forgot to mention how the mother poured slop on the photo, it was probably his favorite dish. When he was still alive, he always ate food from a bucket under the sink. And it turns out he is quite alive.

You know, he was kind of cruel. The street has changed him. He began to carry a fork in his pocket. When he tangled under the feet of the dwarves, like a withered locust leg, they kicked him, pulled him up on a rope and strangled him. Then a huge dwarf came out and boxed. Sometimes, they even hung a rug on him and beat him with a hoe to knock off the dust. To get the dust out of the carpet faster, he vacuumed the dust into his mouth and licked it until it was shiny. He knew very well that cleanliness was more important. Cleanliness is the key to survival.

When he saw me, he immediately begged me to help him. Well, the hurricane was there, a sandstorm of incredible proportions. And I’m kind, I couldn’t pass by, I took a hoe and began to help shake out the dust, knock it off the carpet, with all my might, in order to finish faster. Somehow the hoe got stuck in my head, I put both feet on the skull and barely pulled it out. Kissel dripped from him. And immediately Seryoga’s legs grew. He got up, grabbed the dwarfs and bit off their heads, spat out and ran at me, shouting that I was finished. I pulled out my magnum and fired right between the eyes. The double plexus of his eyes flew out of his head and crashed into the tree behind him. Woodpeckers flew in and started pecking at his eyes, so they then lost their beak. It turns out that Seryoga was short-sighted, and woodpeckers saw only far-sighted. Near-sighted eyes are denser than a diamond, while far-sighted eyes are as light as air. No wonder the universe is expanding and all the planets are moving away from each other. Even the worms know this when they crawl through my friend’s intestines.

With a quick jerk of the mongoose, I took out his eyes and tore them into nine pieces, then fed them to mice, and told him to guess where his eye was. He looked at the mice and said that here and there. But I didn’t guess. He got upset. I fried him fried eggs from mice, gave him, then, after all, I also fed mice. I gave him, of course, of course, on the right ear, from where the toothpick was sticking out. He brushed his back teeth like that after eating meat.

And so, his eyes grew, but he did not dare to goggle them at me, they grew under his feet. All in the final went. Then he adapted to crawl like a worm in order to see everything ahead of him. He crawled over cow dung, over mud, over grass, over engine oil. Spat.

Then I got tired of it, I pulled it out of the socket, and it became a toaster. You see, he didn’t like being a toaster either. I took it by the tail and threw it into the aquarium with the whale. The whale chewed it, chewed it, spat it out.

“Shit,” he said, and went to bed, powdering his nose. Poseidon was sitting there, on a leash, on a chain and barking bubbles. He maintained the humidity in the room so that oxygen circulated.

Then I hired a shark as a servant to eat him and poop him back out to realize that he was nothing compared to other creatures. Of course, he did not like being a slave, but he humbly obeyed me until he found a genie ring and made a wish for freedom.

“Run across the ceiling thirty times, show a rabbit on your finger seven times and become a wolverine three times, that’s all,” said the genie, and disappeared.

He could. It was easy, but he did it the hard way. He became a wolverine by sticking table knives to the bones of his hand, sewing a rabbit onto his finger, and running across the ceiling in a frozen lake, and became free.

When he came to me to demand his house back, I gave it to him without argument. But he did not give up the apartment. Then he grabbed me by the neck, bit off my trachea, and spit it out into a vat of acid. Then he rolled me in concrete, tiled me in the bathroom, and sprinkled me with chamomile water, which I’m allergic to, and I became swollen, all the pimples became rounded like an egg, and he kicked me there when he took a bath. I climbed out of the wall, slammed him against the tiles on the floor, dipped his face in blade shards, and walled him up in a soap bottle, flattening him to the size of an aspirin. He swam there, wiping the walls with his hands, trying to see me. I swirled the shampoo and smeared it on my hair, but not on my head. He was allergic to hair. This often happens if you use something often. He fell. Seryoga too. They fell together. His dignity and courage.

The toaster was strange.

And then I woke up. The roommate looked at me and told me to wash the dishes. I went and washed. Did everything around the house while he sat and laughed from the TV shows. I didn’t like it. I grabbed the refrigerator and hit it on his impudent head. He turned around saying:

— Ay, bleat — and gave me cunts. And in the dream everything was so cool. When will I also become a fifth-year student and use my first-year slaves. Dream dream

The onion peel was able to skillfully soar above the trash can and catch flies in its arms, so that later it could be fried in a pan and eaten. It is understandable, people often do not think about it. You think that everything in the world is so simple, and the onion creature has no soul, fools, but here it is. Only she lives in another dimension, there, people, are just decorations for their world. More precisely, the husk does not see moving things, and concentrates on one, slow movement, like a fly. They see a fly only because they fly right before their eyes and they are small, and people block the whole view, like a canvas of a built wall, their largeness makes them invisible. Therefore, when we look at the husk, it stands peacefully and does not hunt, because it does not see the enemy in front of it. But as soon as we leave, and go back to the kitchen, when suddenly it turns out, that the husk moved a few centimeters deep into the cabinet. This is how she hunts for flies, cockroaches and sweeps the dust where she will sleep.

People, of course, think that this is all because of the wind, but everything is much more complicated.

But the flies, they are still those geniuses. You can see how they fly away somewhere and disappear, looking for them and not finding them. This is because when we get close to their house, they fly out of the pocket dimension, where they have satellite TV, sofas, tiny dogs and spoons so that we do not find their house, and fly away from that place. They love their place of existence. When everyone around goes to sleep, the flies go hunting and carry bread crumbs, pasta, salt, sugar into their hole, fly in and make tea. They feed their children in cocoons. On TV they show huge caterpillars on cabbages, how ants milk them, and butterflies, picking up those, carry them to a more productive place, where there is more fresh cabbage and delicious cucumbers. Sometimes, when switching channels, you can find how two rhinoceros beetles are fighting in the arena for a large piece of the ball and a girl, with whom they will mate after the end of the match. But then they smile and high-five themselves, dump the girl, split the ball in half, and go off drinking whiskey together. They know for sure that taking each other’s lives because of some woman is sheer stupidity. They are smart. And the girl stands at the edge of the arena and sighs, the locust judge runs up to her, and she does not know any other choice, and mates with him, only she cannot have children with the locust. And, if they were, they would be disabled and backward. Since then, the girl has become disillusioned with men and mates with just about anyone to satisfy her needs. Everyone started calling her that — a consumer-consumer. that taking each other’s lives because of some woman is sheer stupidity. They are smart. And the girl stands at the edge of the arena and sighs, the locust judge runs up to her, and she does not know any other choice, and mates with him, only she cannot have children with the locust. And, if they were, they would be disabled and backward. Since then, the girl has become disillusioned with men and mates with just about anyone to satisfy her needs. Everyone started calling her that — a consumer-consumer. that taking each other’s lives because of some woman is sheer stupidity. They are smart. And the girl stands at the edge of the arena and sighs, the locust judge runs up to her, and she does not know any other choice, and mates with him, only she cannot have children with the locust. And, if they were, they would be disabled and backward. Since then, the girl has become disillusioned with men and mates with just about anyone to satisfy her needs. Everyone started calling her that — a consumer-consumer.

Far, far away from where the dimension of flies lurks, there is a dimension of potatoes. There, potatoes plant people in the ground and watch how they grow, and every six months they cut off their heads and cook soup out of them. Pushing a spoon to the throat, the potatoes feel how a person gives off a delicious aroma. Stewed, fried, slices, mashed potatoes, slices, with peel — they make dishes out of people’s heads in various ways. Children especially love them, and ask for supplements. Then, mom and dad go to the garden and cut off another handful of ears, eyes, nose and tongue, and go home to fry them in a pan. Here — meat has always been in the first place, as the potato is the food of salvation in our world. There were no other animals there. But, nevertheless, if you rustle through the back streets of the beds, you can find macaques and orangutans, gorillas and chimpanzees. Potatoes do not distinguish them very well, therefore, every spring, when they go out into the dimension of people, they euthanize these animals and drag them to their home, making them in reserve. Only they often come with a large abundance of hair on the body and head, and you have to clean them off better than people — with a human cutter. Monkeys scream like not people, but potatoes distinguish only silence and do not hear voices. But as soon as a person is silent, the potato immediately thinks that this is a rational animal, and they begin to cry. For just a second, they cry until they chop them for borscht, make zrazy out of them and put whites in the oven. But as soon as a person is silent, the potato immediately thinks that this is a rational animal, and they begin to cry. For just a second, they cry until they chop them for borscht, make zrazy out of them and put whites in the oven. But as soon as a person is silent, the potato immediately thinks that this is a rational animal, and they begin to cry. For just a second, they cry until they chop them for borscht, make zrazy out of them and put whites in the oven.

Every morning outside Norway, Zlatoust Logan, the son of Wolverine, wakes up. He works in a cane field and collects sugar. He is driven by a horse, hitting him on the back with a whip, forcing him to drag a plow lassoed around his neck. Not only does he collect sugar canes on the field, but he also has to plow the land along the way. Horses sit on a plow and drink martinis with an umbrella on a glass. They are constantly laughing, discussing something. But, this time, Logan, most likely, he was tired of being a slave, went against his masters. More specifically, parents. He was found in childhood in a cauldron of radioactive uranium and tellurium, and they took him in. The horses did not think that he would survive, they took him as an entrance stuffed animal to frighten predators. But one day, the scarecrow began to cry when the horse, entering the house drunk, brushed its hooves on the baby’s teeth. Then he, waving his hand, without knowing it, not realizing it, cut off the horse’s hooves. And even then, the horse neighed. He’s always neighing. Logan grew up to be a good worker. I didn’t think that there were other people, my parents didn’t show it to anyone. That’s why he thought he was an invalid, who was a bit different from them. And the horses, when he asked them, laughing, without words, answered that he sees himself as a two-legged, and all the rest as a four-legged — a horse. He believed everything. There was nothing to compare. As proof, they pointed to themselves and neighed:

You see that we are horses, so we see that you are a horse.

“Okay, dad and mom,” he said, and dragged the plow with his parents.

But on this day, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a car on the other side of the field, there was a man standing there, bipedal. And Logan doubted that his parents were telling the truth, uncovered his claws, and attacked them demanding an answer. Immediately the parents bowed their heads, put ropes around their necks, and began to plow the ground and gather reeds. It was clear that it was impossible to hide everything from him for so long. On that day, Logan left his only home and went to the car, and neighed, getting on all fours, trying to communicate with the man. The man, seeing him, fell to the ground and rolled with laughter. And almost died. Then he got up, dusted himself off, twisted his finger at his temple, got into the car, took out a gun and told him to get out of here — an underdeveloped schizophrenic. Logan didn’t understand, of course, and walked towards him, wiggling his butt as if he had a tail. And then a man shot at him, the bullet reached Chrysostom and ripped off all the skin from his face. Logan spat out pellets from his mouth, flew up to him, turned around and kicked him in the chest, that all the organs flew out of him — his heart crashed into a bough about ten meters from Logan, a crow flew up, pecked, fell to the ground and died immediately. The heart could not be blacker from sin, poisoned. Even the tree crumbled. And the land became unsuitable for plants. Logan got into the car and pressed what he saw, on all the pedals and began to turn the steering wheel in all directions. The car flew up and rushed down the road, right into the ravine, and reached the parents’ house, destroyed their house. The gas boiler exploded and started a fire. Then the boiler fell on the father’s head, and shredded him, and the second fragment landed on the mother, and she began to burn. Logan flew out of the car, the equipment flew onto a stone, rolled over, a branch stuck into the tank, and the fuel splashed right on the mother, who immediately burned in the agony of pain. The fried meat smelled good. Chrysostom drooled, and having attacked the body of his parents, he possessed them to the bone, because the instincts of a predator cannot be put anywhere. Logan had never seen meat and did not even think that you can eat meat, he smelled the smell, realized he was different, and ate them. Father with salt, mother cut into small slices, like a sausage. True, it gave off gasoline, but everything was quickly ventilated. Finishing his mother, Logan saw the second horse inside her, small, even her eyes did not open. Instead of eating it, he left the little one behind, built a house out of trees nearby, and raised him to be a real person. Taught him to speak. Read. Subtract. They studied together, according to the books that one day the god lowered on them, opening the heavens. Holding out the books, he said:

“Study hard, my son.

He snapped his finger, and both of them began to understand letters and numbers, the human mind returned to them, rejecting the horse’s mind.

Indians and cowboys live on a towel that dries on a radiator. They are rock climbing.

Several chubby and skinny people are sitting in a flask in the laboratory of Professor Mendeleev. Mood and emotions are squeezed out of them, sweat for cooking chocolate. Then the mood is implanted in marshmallows, in lights, in mirrors, in water. The water cries because the earth does not run out of water, the fire laughs because all the kangaroos die in Australia.

The most important thing is not this. And that besides them, there are other beautiful creatures in the world that completely prove themselves in the field of development. The tea leaves are building a time machine to save their children from getting into the hot water. The box of “Princess Noori” is already on the shelves, and the older leaves have only a few days to build a time machine inside the bag and fly away from this hell. They make gears, chips, energy, wheels, an atom splitter out of the dust of their skins, so that only once, once, fly to the other side of the past. But when the time comes, they do not have time, and boiling water kills them, they drown. Sometimes, the surviving leaves float on the surface of the milk, try to climb onto the bowl and jump down, but the person drowns it with a spoon, closes the cup with a lid, or throws it in the trash,

And in honey, by the way, the gods of temptation live. They beckon you to eat them and they penetrate you. After all, they fight with your brain, and take over the neurons, and control you so that you yourself, without knowing it, begin to eat what your honey god wants to eat. The temptation is strong. God might want a rotten egg and you can’t resist, or he might want a juicy steak and you’ll find a way to cook a steak. And if not, then the Negro, your servant, will find a pig on the street, slaughter it, and cook it for you, while he himself will be content with a bone. It happens that a negro fights with a dog for a bone, and sometimes with other slaves from a neighboring village who came from a disco. Even the white bums manage their slaves and send them out into the street to beg, and instead of the money they bring them, the bums give them banana peels and apple seeds. This is how slaves survive. Among the slaves there is one unique, unlike any of them — four-legged. He shoots cobwebs from his butt and likes to hang from a tree and eat mosquitoes that land on a banana peel that his homeless owner gave him. However, all whites could manage each other’s slaves. So there is a cycle of the earth. Where God is, there is always devastation and war.

And in the sixth planet, lost in three seconds between two, which in the mirror is ten between nine, there are surprisingly lively delicacies. Pasta is made of worms, instead of meat, nuts, and when you put it in your mouth, the worms become pasta, and the nuts become meat. The oil drunk from the canister turns into strong tea, and the gasoline that comes from gas stations, getting into a person’s mouth, turns into multi-fruit birch sap. Here, when someone wants to eat, they chew grass, because the grass becomes cheese, and the cheese itself can be used to lubricate the chains of bicycles and motorcycles. If you pour gasoline into your mouth and spit it back out, the juice becomes gasoline again. Therefore, both gasoline and juice here cost exactly the same. Sixty-nine rubles ninety kopecks per liter.

In a kettle that boils on a gas stove, inside, instead of bubbles, small planets are formed with their own rules and laws. The planet flies and bursts. But in this fraction of seconds, wars are born on the planet, dinosaurs die, time machines are built and they are visited by aliens from other planets. They age and die. In one nanosecond, a million years pass. And none of them know that they are bubbles in the water. And they die, because scientists said that the lid of the universe would soon open, and its bottom would stop warming their world, they would freeze and dissolve into one large plane. From a clean slate, as if there had never been planets, but there was only emptiness — black and immense. And so it happened. The fire went out, the lid opened, and they spread like butter on a frying pan. There was one transparent universe, but dark with a closed lid. Evolution has stopped. It happens at times that, getting into the cup, bubbles form with renewed vigor, but already dark, cold, where snow creatures live. They live the same way for millions of years until they enter the human stomach, or when the spoon stops spinning them in the funnel. Scientists say that the center of the funnel is the center of the universe, that everything goes there and dies. They were right. Once there, their world burst and they all disappeared. They couldn’t do anything.

And once, one of them was able to fly to the side of the cup, and become a solidified universe — a planet, sugared in a bubble. And their world existed for trillions of centuries. And a scientist from their world was able to go beyond his world and find that they are just dust, even less. They entered the subatomic world. Their planet also had subatomic particles, but they were visible only through a microscope, just like in our world. But it turns out that the scientist did not know everything, and having left his world, he got into our reality and became subatomic himself. And from there there is no way out. They say that there are rumors that he still flies there and is looking for a wormhole in reality. After all, there are holes in the subatomic world that send you into the world and make you the size you were in your world. That is, a subatomic person who has fallen out of there becomes a full-sized person, nothing else. If an animal from that planet got there and found an enlargement portal, it could become the size of a cow, and maybe an elephant. If we ourselves got there and flew out into the hole, we would become a person on that bubble, completely invisible. Time would speed up for us, and we wouldn’t even notice that we hadn’t been home for a hundred years.

If you look at the light bulb, it seems that it shines and everything around you can see, as if in the sun. In fact, it does not burn, and our eyes themselves see the world as such, because we inspired ourselves that the light bulb shines. We screw in a light bulb and rejoice that there is light, in fact, we screw in a light bulb that never burns and never burned. It’s all an illusion of perception. Playing with us and with our brain. As is the night. We invented it to sleep. No, the brain invented and forgot to tell us. The brain controls us, not we. In fact, after all, we are brilliant creatures and use the brain only for a percentage, but even this is enough to get the ability to see in the dark with “not a light bulb”, with the bulb turned off. If we could use the brain at ten or forty percent, then we could not breathe and be alive outside, fly out of our world, and the suggestion of that it is cold in space and the vacuum compresses the body to a raisin would cease to be a problem for us. In fact, there is nothing in space, and we ourselves create fear of it. The more one believes in it, the stronger the illusion. In a word, the whole world is the same as ours, but because of the unknown, we alter and invent those laws that, in principle, do not exist. The brain itself is suggested, and when we get into space, our thoughts become reality and we freeze, shrink, and the brain helps this by sending a command to the whole body to shrink and cool down. we alter and invent those laws that, in principle, do not exist. The brain itself is suggested, and when we get into space, our thoughts become reality and we freeze, shrink, and the brain helps this by sending a command to the whole body to shrink and cool down. we alter and invent those laws that, in principle, do not exist. The brain itself is suggested, and when we get into space, our thoughts become reality and we freeze, shrink, and the brain helps this by sending a command to the whole body to shrink and cool down.

Yes, it seems to you that everything around is real, but that’s why the brain works to make everything seem real and you don’t feel like a machine. Precisely because everything seems so, we do not even think about what could be otherwise. We can even go out into the astral world and see that we are flying in space, and everything — houses, garages, animals, cars, TVs, lawn and trees, barrels and a golf course, they are not. We wander through space like a forgotten flip phone. And everything that you see is invented by people, of course, but by people who send imperceptible impulses of perception to each other, and what they came up with is seen by everyone around. That is, the created vacuum cleaner is an illusion, but the thought of the one who created it was transferred to the thoughts of all people around the world, and therefore, they see the same thing as him. And when one of the people moves a thing, the impulse again goes to the brain of all people, they say, he moved it, and now the vacuum cleaner should be seen right here. And once again, when someone sees that damned vacuum cleaner, it’s not there, but they will see it.

If we look at a cup that stands on the table from the horizon, it will seem to us that it does not have a top and bottom, as usual, i.e. it has no bottom and no hole. And we cannot know if it is from below or from above. The bottom is created at the moment when we approach, so that during our full approach, it can be recreated into a container with a bottom. From the horizon, we see the model in the second dimension, like paper, and it has no volume, until we get closer and realize that this object must have volume, because we have seen it as volume all our lives. But as soon as we move away, the object begins to turn into 2D. The further we move away, the less important it becomes for the environment. Pixels, no clarity. Imagine that we have drawn a still life, and we see that there is volume, there is color, beauty and height, that it seems to be real, but as soon as we get closer and take a closer look, we understand that this is a drawing. It’s the same with 3D objects. They seem to us as objects in the second dimension, turning into the third. If I tell you that that milk carton on the floor doesn’t have a bottom, you can’t know if it actually has one or not until you check for yourself. And you won’t know if it has a back side that you don’t see now. Or she doesn’t. You guess. Assume, you can’t be sure. Most likely, the whole world consists of small pixels, and it is true — atoms, matter. Even we have them. This means that if we are them, they are us and we interact with each other without even though, instinctively, and just as instinctively, the atoms rearrange themselves and create the world behind the box, under the cup and the world behind us, for those who look behind us. For my perception, my back is not there, it is empty, but I understand that there was a wall there yesterday, and turning around, I see that it really is there. At that moment, matter was transformed into something that we took for granted. As a given, the world around me and those around me has been created, because they fall into my world of perception. Imagine that you have never been to my house, but when you visit me, you see my house, its walls, floor, chairs, wallpaper. All this is the effect of an illusion, an effect which has been conveyed to you by the impulses of my brain. Yes. When you enter, you already know where my kitchen is and where the bathroom is, if you have never been to my house. This is because I have sent you information that you may need and have created a floor underneath you so that you can move around. For both of us, there is that world that we can catch with particles of the eyes, perception, feelings. While we both look ahead there may be no house behind us, or maybe there is, because someone from below is currently looking at our house and watching. But in general, those people are also not there until we enter into interaction with them. Confusing, I know, but such is the world. A person can see the shell of the house from below, but never see the whole picture inside. And inside the house a stingray, space or a drunken raccoon can live.

But in space itself, things are quite different. We are forever falling in all directions, with the entire galaxy. We are a perfectly even circle that spins in place, like a top, but when viewed from above, it will seem that we are standing still. Whether the world is falling or not, it does not depend on us. Somewhere out there, beyond the galaxies, there are other aliens who are alien to see the near, and they create the far, with thoughts and actions. They will never reach our system, but will always be the ones that cause our galaxy to fall. They, trying to look at us, hide us from ourselves. That is, looking at our galaxy, the galaxy disappears from their field of view. It’s like with worms, when you cry, and out of the corner of your eye you see worms swimming in front of you, right in the air, and trying to concentrate on them, they disappear from below, then from above, and sometimes even forever. Try pushing the bearing with a needle, the ball will roll, and the needle will slip, in the wrong place. You will not be able to pierce the ball. How their eyes cannot catch and pierce us, forcing us to fall down all the time. Maybe that’s why they can’t find us, they just don’t see us.

If you watch the clock strike at the same time every year, you can see a fairy moving the hands of the clock between five and six. And if at this moment you put pressure on them, then the fairies will fly out of them, and the clock will never work again, no matter how many masters watch it. Of course, if watchmakers have pet fairies that they keep in matchboxes, the fairies will only be happy to help. They cannot pass them, no matter how powerful the fairy is. Fairies like to hold the clock hands so they don’t go backwards. They do not like to remember the past, because one tick back, and the fairies will become dumber than one tick ahead. In order not to learn everything all over again, the fairies pump their muscles to maintain the order of time, we keep the clock in check.

When you get underground, after death, in no case do not laugh at the dead, especially at yourself. The lord of the underworld does not like it when someone rejoices in death and jokes about it. After all, death is his wife. They catch souls with a fishing rod and lock them in baskets to hang on clothespins over the fire. They like to torture them and drink cognac from the blood of a mule and twenty-year-old virgins. Death releases souls, sometimes to hunt them, thrust a spear and quarter them. Remember, if you are told to run out and try to get to the surface, to your friends, then shake your head and punch Death in the eye and you will be caged forever and never released. It is so right, it is better to burn than to burn and be full of holes, it is better to sit forever whole than to consist of mosaics. Once Napoleon made a mistake, punched him in the eye and ran out, decided that he would have time to get out, through the hatch on the roof of Satan’s stagecoach, but no such luck. In one big step, Vladyka took it out and released it through a meat grinder, smeared it on a baguette, put a huge pile of poisonous musk on top, and gave the Cerberus for dinner. Cerberus chewed it, then flushed it down the toilet, from there Napoleon got on the table to the vampire worm, and the vampire worm, having flushed it into his own, got a pedophile rabbit who loved the French for lunch. For seven years, he raped a baguette with minced meat, until children began to grow out of Napoleon and tore open his stomach, eating the insides from the inside. After hatching, the children began to sculpt different types of buildings from Napoleon, beat him against the walls, drown him, stir with acid, fry on a fire and stuff the intestines of dead rats into him to create a stuffed animal. Napoleon then realized that it was better not to try. And when he saw that there was no way out of the hatch at all, and there sits the daughter of Death — he was disappointed that he died. The daughter was even scarier than the mother. She came down exactly one week after that incident to play with the prisoners with dolls. They especially liked to pull out their arms and legs, and put their heads back in place, laugh, and then smear it on the diamond floor with a paver. Spread on cucumber, and throw to be eaten by chickens. They pecked at him for seven hundred years, for they were eyeless. And they completely forgot how to use the mouth. From time to time they went off to read books, develop, but returned. You can’t read without eyes and books. Therefore, the daughter of Death closed the chickens in a cage with Napoleon until they learned to find the Frenchman by the smell of “fear”. And the Lord of Darkness immediately released the children through a meat grinder and made sausages and kupaty, and eats them, roasting them on a fire, drinking coffee out of pity,

General Pook lives on Jupiter. It was he who created Jupiter with his fart, and hurricanes are still raging there, because he cannot stop.

And on Mercury there lives a naughty beast, he jumps out of the ground and hits the rover on the ear, and goes down. The rover turns around for two years to see who hit it, and it slams from the other side. So the rover could not stand it, pulled out the cables from itself and hung itself on its hands, tying around its neck supplying power to the motherboard, and died.

Do you think everything is so good on Saturn? No, of course, what else did they think of me here! There, by the way, right between, porpoises live and experiment on themselves by inserting the hearts of stones. Yes, the stones there are real creatures. Only pigs are stupid. That is how they all killed themselves, because one of the stones contained the swine coronavirus. They became infected from each other and died from lack of air. And then they got up, burst out laughing, and realized that they didn’t breathe any air at all. Relaxed immediately. In addition, in a vacuum, even the blood did not fly out of their body. Why, they didn’t even have blood circulating through their veins. If, once it goes through their veins, they will die, because their hearts are made of stone and will explode from vibration. Therefore, they do not fly to where there is another gravity.

Only on Earth it was boring to live. Fleas interfered all the time. They bit the head when it was necessary to do something grandiose, for example, once, there was one detail left to complete a twenty-year experiment with a portal to another world, when suddenly a flea flew up, bit a person on the head, and he is a sensitive kind of person — dropped the tool and shorted out all the controls and reset the settings. Twenty years to the cat in the ass!

That flea was later found, handcuffed and put in jail. His convicts are still kicking him. But if you kick in the wrong place, she will bite off her head, it will itch, that it will be possible to pull out the brain through the skull. That’s how severe itching comes from his bite. One prisoner was even cut off his head and placed in a three-liter jar. Bloch fought and fought, but could not get on his hairy head. And one had the nerves removed. The third one could not stand it at all and bit off the head of a flea himself, the first one beats the one who is not afraid to lose, he thought. Only the flea was armor-piercing. With a wave of his hind legs, he cut it in half. Now this convict walks on a gurney, carrying his soulmate on a leash, on a skateboard.

In the bathroom of every Neanderthal, a soul snake lives, right in a tiny cave. She swallows them and turns them into blood cells in her body.

“If you don’t run through your veins, you will die,” the snake said, having once swallowed a man, “they will trample you, smear you on the floor, and you will be stuck here forever.” He ran and ran, cherishing the hope that one day he would break out of the endless circle of the treadmill.

So, one family came to visit a Neanderthal, went to the toilet, the shower hissed, turned into a snake and swallowed the guests. Do you think she stopped after she swallowed the first one, no, she crawled out of the bathroom, found people sitting in the kitchen, grabbed her leg, and dragged them into her. They hit her body at that moment, knocked them down, put on the suits of leukocytes and erythrocytes, and began to drive the whip from behind. Neanderthals and their guests fled, their legs became muscular, their arms powerful. When a blockage formed in the veins, and an old red blood cell ran across the road to die, they hit it, and it shattered into pieces and died, somersaulting on the ceiling.

And, here, when two o’clock in the morning comes on earth and the minute is equal to three, inanimate, soulless objects come to life all over the universe. The meteorite rearranges itself into the oncoming lane, drunk from lack of air, and flies into the planet, killing peacefully sitting squirrels that are roasting kupaty on a fire. Plush bears go out to fight with plush elephants for a new habitat, in the upper part of Vanya’s boy’s box, so as not to smell the feet and look at the patterns on the butt of other toys. And a zebra, stuffed with iron teeth, hunts a lion to eat him for breakfast. That is why sometimes plush toys lose weight. Other predatory animals gut them, eat the insides and protect them back, because every Sunday of the week, they go to needlework lessons. From a very early age. The Kuiper belt, at exactly two hours three minutes, sees how the Snowman resorts to it to twist it at the hip and lose weight. The pens, meanwhile, jumping out from under the bedside table, from the closet, from schoolchildren’s briefcases, go out into the birch grove, peel off the bark, and inside they write stories, stories about what they have long wanted to tell. The trees don’t mind. This is how they learn to speak and get smart. Sometimes, a chainsaw comes to them and cuts a book out of them to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable. to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable. to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable.

Pillows, animated by the magic of numbers, sometimes throw people to the floor, they hit their heads and wake up, they see those, that’s when the pillows choke them, and they die. People then find the reason that they forgot to roll over during sleep and suffocated, but only we know that the pillow suffocated them.

Socks wake up and go to play catch-up, and the most advanced ones can grow out of themselves as a clone person and buy something they like in the night shop. There have even been cases of socks growing on the ears of a person so that the ears do not freeze when ghosts blew into their ear.

Also at night, dead flies at the windowsill, beetles on the ground, mosquitoes and worms come to life. They go to their relatives and drink sugar syrup or milk with them. Mosquitoes try to get blood, but no matter how long they drink it from a cow, blood drips from their proboscis, because they do not have a belly. So, a million mosquitoes that came to life that night sat on one cow and drank it, drying it to the bone. And the desiccated, dead cow also came to life and began to eat, believing that she was still alive, until in the morning she fell to the ground and died again.

The hoses from under the water sting the animals, and the balls roll up the mountain to see what is behind that mountain. Decorative scarecrows come to life to see the world, leave the estates and plunge into the wild lands. They communicate with relatives who are still alive, adopt their habits, and return back, satisfied with their lives. The toy cars come to life to shuffle and carry little non-living creatures wherever they are asked to. And a toy created for a teleporter suddenly becomes a real teleporter, and a predator that should kill begins to kill animals in the forest. They come to life the way they were meant to be. The ball flies into the sky and sees space, and the Barbie toy goes to Monaco, to the podium to show that she is also a model. Cars leave for the Grand Prix, and planes, having forgotten that the war has passed, are sent to war and bomb the fields. Refrigerators eat food from other refrigerators, and TVs, not seeing anything on their own, watch programs on another TV. So, they also hold sessions, putting on the same films, and eat popcorn and chew gingerbread.

And when playing games, in particular in a casino, money can be withdrawn directly from your mouth by linking your biometrics in that casino by touching the monitor. Forensic experts work behind the monitor, they quickly read the patterns, and the artists draw a picture, hang it in front of the cell in the bank. And if you program a closet, you can receive money there. And in some cases, by reaching out to the monitor, you can get into the bank where gremlins walk and write out checks for winnings, approaching them and demanding your winnings — they will brazenly look at you, and when they see a piece of paper, they will give you your winnings in a small a box that, once in our world, will dissolve in three minutes. And only at night you can do this, exactly until four in the morning.

If a person does not sleep at four in the morning, then the magical hyena that came out of the book introduces into their brain that all living things have disappeared, that is, they have become inanimate, and their sock is still lying by the bed, and the books are on the shelves. In fact, they won’t be there. They will be an exact copy of the real ones while they are resting somewhere out there. And after the expiration of time, they return to the attached place through the teleporter. If at this time a person takes a sock and puts it on and goes to work, then a real sock will form right on the person’s leg, which he will not even see. The bind teleport is faster than light. Quantum teleport at the molecular level.

And there are still in the world, teleports by voice, and by sight, and by light. When you look at the light, your gaze is attached to this very particle of light, and flies away along the ground. In a few seconds you are already in Australia or Japan. That is, you now looked at the quark, just as if it were a ping-pong ball, but this ball develops a speed of three hundred thousand kilometers per second, and it is the look that fell on this ball that will be the machine that will take you to the other side of the earth, and perhaps even to another planet. It is your piece of DNA, through which you can rebuild into yourself on the other side of the universe. For example, while you are sleeping and your gaze is quarked across the universes, while you put on your spacesuit and then press the teleportation device, your ping-pong ball has already reached the constellation of Aquarius. Or maybe she flew to another galaxy, and flies near Alpha Centauri. The fastest travel in the universe, until this quark becomes a real device for instantaneous teleportation. That is, people will save information about this particle, and whenever they want to be transported somewhere, they can be transported to any point in the universe. In a word, at the moments in which she flew, for example, she flew by Jupiter at some specific time, which means that at this specific time there will be a teleport binding, at a point in time. Then it may be at Pluto or some distant quasar, and all these moments will be in the teleportation machine. certain parts of the moment. And while you’re talking, a piece of a quark (your ping-pong) reaches the fifth galaxy. And you may already be in the farthest part of the universe. Even when you fly towards it, you will follow the quark.

through the universes if you program the teleporter to be where the photon of light is now. At this present moment.

And yet, behind the screen of your monitor there is another universe, the same exactly as ours. But there are people who work as clones and reflections, and they are paid money for this. They get up every day for work and wait for your reflection to be displayed from something. For example, when you are in a room with a mirror, the worker, on the other hand, will sit behind the mirror in your position, and will sit there — this is his job. He has a locker, with the same shoes, clothes, hair, and people who help them do their hair. If you wear pajamas, they wear pajamas to work too. When you sit in a car and see yourself in the reflection of the shopping center, then the employee is also going somewhere with you. And the driver, also a clone of the one who drives a car in our world. His driver is his job. And in the moments when they are not working and you are sleeping, they do personal business and sit with the family. They may seem to have an exact copy of your life, and yes and no. That is, it is the same when you reflect from something, but the most real when there is nothing to reflect. They eat, rest, heal, take a bath and cry. They are just as alive as we all are. Sometimes, in their free time, they buy legs, arms, head frames from behind, so that they don’t have to be with you every time. That is, they take an exact replica of your leg in the store and tie it with an invisible graviton to exactly replicate your sleepy moments of twitching your leg and head. in their free time they buy legs, arms, head frames from the back so that they don’t have to be with you every time. That is, they take an exact replica of your leg in the store and tie it with an invisible graviton to exactly replicate your sleepy moments of twitching your leg and head. in their free time they buy legs, arms, head frames from the back so that they don’t have to be with you every time. That is, they take an exact replica of your leg in the store and tie it with an invisible graviton to exactly replicate your sleepy moments of twitching your leg and head.

And there is a universe where people walk around in banana and tangerine peels. They go to bed right on the street, just covering themselves with a peel, and sleep like that until the morning. During the day, a banana grows out of their clothes, on the wall like bamboo, and in the morning they eat them. This is exactly what happens every day. So people got rid of hunger in all countries of the world. Because of their cheapness, the rich bought bananas and tangerines, ate and threw the peel into the street, from there the social services took the peel and distributed it to all the poor. They ate bananas and tangerines, pomegranates and even potatoes. They cut the stuffing and roasted it on the fire, shared it with others, and were happy. Of course, there were those who could not walk, they hung a peel over the bed, sweets grew from there and fell right into their mouths. You ask, how do they go to the toilet? No way. They don’t have what you and I have all the nutrients go into the body and they get rid of the waste. Everything is good for them. So, the sick could do without nannies for years, and live on only tangerines and bananas.

In the next galaxies, far away from ours, two million light-years away, on a small planet the size of the moon, lived more amazing creatures. They, as expected, slightly resembled us, but did not have the shortcomings that we had at all. These creatures didn’t need to find mates. They cut off a piece of skin, a little finger or an ear and raised from them their friends and workers. People and society. When scientists were needed, they cut off a piece from the face, and the face immediately regenerated itself, and a genius grew from the piece. If they needed diggers, they cut off their fingers. Astronomers, part of the century, and if you needed those who can do everything, the creatures cut off a piece of the brain, drilling a hole in the skull. It does not hurt. They do not feel any pain, but they feel all the spectrums of emotions. That was the vulnerability for them. Even if they knew who they were born from and from which part of the body, they were silent all the time, and communication was limited to doing what they were born to do. Nobody thought about communication. Until one of them tried to open his mouth for, not food, no, but for conversation. And so, born from the little toe of the foot, he became the progenitor of words and communication. And they all understood that not only scientists can be scientists, but also everyone who thinks regardless of caste.