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Sex key

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Any woman is available

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Once, going to the Internet, I saw a post that was called something like: «What man is ready for a woman.» A whole line of comments left. I did not finish reading until the end, I wrote my own: «For this I am ready for anything.» Send comments and my reply.

— Dude, you’re bent.

«Everyone says so, until things get to the point.»

«Will you risk your life?»

«And you’ll jump from the bridge for the sake of the woman?»

Everyone responded was bored, the more that some of the comments, as it happens, were rude. I did not want to spoil my mood and I selected only the most interesting ones.

«Are you seriously ready for anything for a woman?» — asked the Queen Bala.

— Yes, if a woman is beautiful, if I like her and if I like her.

«You have too many conditions.»

— Well, how about it? If you lose your life, it’s not because of any woman, but for the sake of that one.

«And if you do not know yet that she’s the only one, just like the girl?»

«Well, I’m ready for courtship, for flowers, for some kind of money spending.»

— And how much can a beautiful woman expect?

— It depends on how beautiful she is.

«And yet, how much?»

— Well, just like in the market.

Someone interfered in our dialogue From there. On his avatar was depicted a trident.

— And what would you give for the opportunity to possess any woman you want?

— For this I would give much.

— Well, for example?

— I do not know. Half a lifetime.

«I have a specific proposal for you.»

— What?

— You are given such an opportunity, to possess any woman. But for each possession you will give the year of your life. Is it going?

— Oh sure.

— I’ll write to you in PM.

No one in my personal messages, of course, wrote anything to me. Well, joked, this is the meaning of many comments on the network.

A few days later I received a letter to the mail box (electronic). Here is his text: «Dear Dmitry! I send instructions on how to master any lady. It’s simple. Hike to the selected girl (woman) said to her: «Shukshberi haroum tselbaken». And you touch it with your hand. It’s all. But keep in mind that the spell only works when you are in contact with it. Hand, foot, no matter what. There is a contact — there is a link. No contact — no connection. Good luck to you! Someone From There. «How did he know my mail address?» I thought. And in response he wrote: «Thank you for the instruction. Immediately begin to use it.»

As time passed, I kept thinking about this joke. And suddenly written — is it true? But how do I approach the one that I liked? Will I tell her this idiotic phrase and touch her with my hand? The girl will think that I’m crazy. This is at best. And at worst? Give in the face and make a scandal. And what if you try on acquaintances? It does not work, I’ll say, they say, just joking. Whom to choose? Katya? But she’s still ugly. Nina? But we are not so familiar with it. And if Vicu? A pretty girl, pretty sexy, and she understands jokes. It is said — done, when we meet everything and check.

I called Vika.

— Hi!

— Hi.

— How are you?

— Good.

— What are you doing?

— I am preparing for the exams.

«Do you want to go somewhere?»

— Yes, no, I say — busy.

«Well, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow.» Not for long.

«Where are you inviting me?»

«We’d have a cup of coffee and chat.» You know, I’m now studying magic, different tricks. Could you show me something. And to give credit to your future.

— Guessing on the coffee grounds?

— Well, yes, like that.

We laughed, but she agreed to a meeting.

The next day we were sitting with Victoria in a cafe. I brought a cup of coffee and a cupcake from the counter. We talked about this and that, I no longer knew how to approach it.

«Well, tell me what’s there for fortune-telling.»

«Now I will read the spell and we will know your future.»

I took out a cheat sheet with the text and read aloud: «Shukshbury haraum tselbaken.» Then he took Vika’s hand and looked into her eyes. I looked at her, the girl looked at me. Nothing happened. Feeling that the pause was prolonged, I removed my hand.

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