All modern books written about self-development and self-help for modern women developed around one main idea: how to make you more beautiful, lovely, happy, and positive. In spite of the thousands of books written about positive thinking, right diets, fitness exercises the world around us is booming with female problems: physical (weight, health), mental (anger, sexual frustrations) and psychological (low self esteem, anorexia, unhappiness). Why is this? It happens because positive methods concentrate only on your positive side and does not respect your real nature, which is always dual. You know that you are both: angel and devil, sleeping beauty and Cougar. Until you can be the perfect Cougar and recognise these qualities inside you, you cannot become a little mermaid.
Life made you a Cougar. Your parents, school, and family — they all contributed to this task. How can you be a little mermaid in our modern, mad and man chauvinistic society? No way! You are as you are! Do not be ashamed of yourself!
What is absolutely most important is that in every situation you feel that you are yourself, you are natural, you are spontaneous and creative, and you are happy with your choice.
Positive methods sometime give you a false «positive image». It is a mask, which people use on the surface — smiling, positive, sweet, with daily affirmations «I am an angel».
You know that some times such roles or mask are too sweet. You absolutely do not enjoy your «Angel» image as much as you enjoyed your «Cougar» role before — that is the problem. You cannot relax in your very sweet new image in all of the everyday situations life creates. This is not your own creation — someone told you that a positive image is good for girls. But this creates a conflict inside you. Deep inside you are the «Cougar» and you like it. Very deep inside, you enjoy being the Cougar. Inside, skin deep, you are the murder, sexual maniac, kleptomaniac and shopaholic. Outside your facade is the false no-wind weather, inside you are a tropical hurricane. It is OK. You ARE the Cougar. Relax and enjoy it.
I will guide you on how to become the Perfect Cougar in our chaotic, hectic and man-mad everyday modern life, and have no conflicts with your self. How can I do it? It is because I am a beautiful, clever Cougar myself, and I enjoy my life, my world and myself. I will share my secrets with you, my friend. I cannot teach you anything — you need to develop your own expertise to be the perfect Cougar, but I will tell you about the methods which are working for me. You can adopt some of them, and then develop your own methods.
This book is very practical and easy. It is the perfect start to creating a new chapter in your life — and you will enjoy it!
Here are the issues, which we will be discussing together with you in this book:
— Who is the Cougar?
— My Cougar History
— How the Cougar should make her decisions.
— Morning practices for Cougares
— Physical Exercises for the excellence of the Cougar
— Perfect diet for the perfect Cougar
— Small everyday secrets of the beautiful Cougar
— 7 tricks for a good Cougar to make a good day out of a bad one.
— Evening rituals for the modern Cougar
— The Sexy Cougar
— The Clever Cougar
— Next generation of Cougares — make the secrets available for the next generation as a part of your heritage
— Extra (lucky Cougar number): Cougar and her death
I dedicate this book to all the beautiful and clever women of the World! My inspiration came especially from knowing the Cougares from my own family: my grand-grand mother Maria, my granny Alexandra, my mom Luisa. But, also, I am very grateful and proud that I know several Cougares of 20th century such as Karen Blixen a Danish writer, Frida Kahlo, Georgia O’Keeffe, Madonna; an American singer who is my age. Their personal histories inspired me to write this book.
1. Who is the Cougar?
Duality is the basic quality of existence. Day and night are supplementary to each other. Love and hate are the two sides of the same: relations. It is natural. If you do not hate your husband/boyfriend sometimes you have no relations with him. When you have no family you feel unhappy; when you create a family you still feel unhappy sometimes (differently unhappy) — it is the duality of life. But without duality there is no development. I suggest that you start to love life’s conflicts and stay happy!
A positive life without conflicts is an impotent life. Paradise is not complete without hell. Polarity is natural. A woman is yin (from Venus) and a man is yang (from Mars) — it is the fundamental conflict of life — and it is the beauty of existence! Without this fundamental difference life cannot exist and proceed! Children are the result of this life duality.
Lesbian couples cannot create a child, gay couples are in the same position — they lack the fundamental duality, polarisation, and have very little conflicts inside their relationships. Polarisation exists in homosexual relations, also, but not the genetic one; their polarisation is more a play (like a theatre roles). It is not a natural polarisation. It is like the difference between nature and art. Nature is natural and ever changing; art is a fake, it could be a very beautiful fake, but it is always the same. Art is a reflection of the momentary mood of its creator, his self-therapy. Only a few artists can reflect nature as an objective science, as Leonardo, Rafael, Mozart and several others to name a few.
«Cougar» is part of your personality as a destroyer, as a negative motivator, as a magical power of creation a new reality. «Cougar» is your strength against everyday hazards, messes, and madness. It is the protection part of your «little mermaid».
There are three phases of your personal activities during all of your life: they are the creative phase, maintenance phase and destruction phase. Each part of these phases demands your active position. Sometime only the Cougar can fulfil all these challenges. A sweet lady has no power to make the changes happen. The Cougar has.
In order to enjoy your life story you need to allow yourself to try different sides of existence. If you suppress part of yourself you will never understand the beauty to be a whole person, to be beyond your duality, to be happy.
To be whole as a person you need to develop your «Cougar» style and enjoy it.
2. My Cougar Story
My grand-grand mother was a Cougar. She lived in Belorussia in the small city named Polotsk more than 100 years ago. She was rich, well educated and clever. She was clairvoyant, a healer, and a «medicine woman», whom in medieval times would have been classified as one to be burned in the inquisition «purification» fire.
She could see, or sense, events before they actually happened, but she couldn’t interfere with the destiny of people. She respected the free will of people as a fundamental human right. She knew precisely how to heal wounds and how to predict the future. But, she could not avoid her destiny during the ugly time of communist’s suppression, after the October revolution, as to be part of this collective madness. I have a picture of her — a little old medallion — and I can see the beautiful self-confidence woman with a big hat — a real «mystery» for men.
There is an old picture of her with her husband and her daughter Sasha, my grand mother, when Sasha was only 6 years old. My grandmother who I knew and adore since my childhood was a real modern «Cougar» — being married 4 times and with 5 different men (one of them was free-love) in spite of her handicap. She insured her leg, when she was only 20, working together with Vladimir Lenin in the Kremlin — so called «subbotnik» — it was a special day when people devoted their free labour for revolutionary tasks. Because of her injury she used ugly orthopaedic shoes and a walking stick all of her life, which I found she did with great elegance. She was a very elegant lady.
My first memory of her was when she was a 60-year-old woman. I was very proud to walk beside her in the streets of Moscow. She would walk with her high ugly shoes and wooden stick with such dignity and beauty that everyone around was staring at her!
She was a perfect Cougar. In spite of her illness and constant pain in her leg she was a happy woman: she created her own very comfortable, and rich in events world and personal lifestyle. She was a women’s dress designer by profession and she was the owner of her own little school of design. In the 1960’s, she was one of the first designers who created the first push-up for Russian women’s society. All of her cloth creations were colourful, fresh, elegant, irresistible for men, and simply beautiful. She made an unforgettable contribution to creating the «Cougar» designs for modern girls in communist Russia of 1960—1980 — sexy, passionate, seductive and attractive. Russia was a closed country at that time, therefore it sounds unbelievable when I talk about the fashion in Khrushchev’s and Brezhnev’s Russia, but I was a witness of her creations. The stupid, famous remark «We have no sex in Russia», made during the first Russian-American summit in 1970, made her laugh hysterically — after 4 marriages and 6 children she was an expert in bisexual relations and the art of men’s seduction!
She knew a lot about natural medicine, but sometimes she was an impossible Cougar for those who surrounded her (for example, her son-in-law, my father). I have learned a lot by just being around her. She never had ugly conflicts with her husbands but clever confrontations (I adored her last husband a lot even though he was not actually my grandfather). And, she was always the winner. She was teaching me to be a winner in women’s life.
She had only a few wrinkles when she was in her 80s. I still remember her beautiful smiling face — the face of a real «Cougar». She had her secrets of ever beauty. I will share them with you.
My mom was/is (still) the Cougar, too — an example of a «soviet» Cougar with double morals: communist outside and very religious and fateful person inside — I love her!
Here she is: my beautiful mom in 1955 in Moscow, Russia before my birth.
It was my background to become the «Cougar» myself. I developed a «beautiful Cougar» image. I am fifty, sexy, intelligent, funny, adored by a lot of men (and women) and happy married to my lovely Danish husband (N.2). No less — no more. Cougar.
3. How a Cougar should make her decisions
Freedom in our life means that we make the best possible decisions in certain circumstances. Absolute freedom does not exist — we are not free from the prison of bodily needs, society laws and restriction, historical customs which some people call cultural treasure, and natural hazards conditions.
But, how do we make the best possible decision in this context? The perfect Cougar has her own rules: the law of attraction. She makes her decision from the feeling of prosperity, harmony and elegance or she waits for a better time. She never compromises her visions. How can you apply this rule?
Look around at how people make ordinary decisions: they buy clothes on sale, which is out of fashion (otherwise, it would not be on sale). They buy the cheapest food in supermarkets, they purchase cars with the presumption of how easy it will be to sell later on, or purchase a house in an attractive area, thinking how the sale price will be in 20 years from now. It is the kind of decisions made by fear, uncertainty and collective press (collective madness). In making such decisions people will remain in poverty and fears forever.
I suggest turning this procedure around: make the decision because you are rich and prosper (inside), because you are an elegant lady, and because it is the best choice for you. Buy only the things which suit your needs 100% — no compromise! Or wait for the better time.
Your decisions will shape your future and develop your personality. Go for the best for you and make all the decisions by applying 5 quality criteria:
— Truth: is it true that ….. is the best for me just now?
— Health: is it really the best for my health?
— Beauty: it is really the best for my beauty?
— Love: does it really help me to experience love in my life?
— Joy: Will I be more joyful and happy when I have…. in my life?
The right decision should have all 5 positive answers. Do not compromise your decision! Try this technique starting tomorrow and be amazed at the results. You will be transformed in a very short time to a beautiful, joyful, smiling lady with all dreams fulfilled.
4. Morning practices for Cougars
And now a little about the ever-youthful secrets of the perfect Cougar: how to be attractive during your whole life? What to do each morning to develop your full energy potential? It is easy! Start each day with a certain procedure:
— Wake up your body gently: open your eyes and make your first stretches lying in bed — like a big puma-cat — cougar: stretch your body, all of the body parts; make them long and do not be in a hurry: the Cougar has plenty of time for herself! Make this practice for 3—4 minutes. Enjoy yourself!
— Cleopatra foot massage: Sit on the edge of your bed and massage your feet. One foot at a time. Bend and rotate your toes. Knock your heels with your fists. Take your open palms and follow the leg from ankle up to knee and down to ankle again with light press of your fingers. Do it 21 times, up and down movements counting for 1. This is the best for leg’s blood circulation and protects your legs from varicose veins troubles.
— Tibetan method to clean the digestive system: start every morning drinking a 1/2 glass of warm water on an empty stomach. Do it in a special way: take a small sip of water in your mouth and start to «chew» the water in your mouth. It will help to release the saliva in the mouth and your water will start to have a little sweet taste — this is the sign to swallow it. Take the next small portion of water and do it again. You are actually «chewing» the water. This way will help you to activate natural digestion enzymes and to mix them with the mouth water. This makes your stomach «go» easier and your digestion will be smooth and healthy. So easy is it!
— Beauty mirror: When you are ready to go the bathroom look at the mirror and make the affirmation: «I am the most beautiful creation of this world and I enjoy my own company!» Smile at the mirror.
— Water play: use only cold water to wash your face, neck and hands up to the elbows. Splash cold water several times onto your face. Enjoy the coldness and freshness of the water.
— Massage for the Cougar: I recommend you try some of my massage techniques and then you can develop your own routine. Look at our Belbook free TV channel on tube to find your personal massage type (www.youtube.com/BeLBookstoday)
I myself do ALL these very quick massages everyday as my daily lifestyle. It takes for me about 30 minutes all together including my 10—15 minutes jogging tour with my dog Bella. Here are the details for you:
— 6 points face massage: massage 6 points on the face with circular movement especially paying attention to the middle «beauty point» on the chin (pictures will help you to find the location of the points). Duration of massage: 15 seconds per point.