Бесплатный фрагмент - Creative Ideas

Dear Parents and Caregivers of Special Children,

I often hear that working with special needs populations is hard, boring, or lacks intellectual stimulation. Having spent 25 years working with special children in a role similar to that of a parent, I can assure you that it is anything but boring. Most of my clients were low-functioning and non-verbal, yet the work was incredibly interesting and inspiring.

Together with these children, we create a System of Thematic Photobooks for parents and caregivers. In this book, I aim to share some of the success stories from our work. While all the stories are based on real experiences, some elements are imaginative, exploring how things could improve with a change in attitude towards these children.

I hope you enjoy reading and perhaps find some ideas you’d like to try.

With respect,

Dina Veksler

SCHOOL NAMED ME

verbal autistic boy with behavior problem

NAUGHTY BOY

«Well, who would doubt that this is exactly what will happen! Murphy’s Law works!» Jane, annoyed by the news she had just heard from her friend about the postponement of the exam, put the phone aside and began to feverishly look through the printout with tickets. She knew the answer to this question, this one would also not cause difficulties, but this one she would have to learn urgently. A vague uneasiness made her raise her head from her notes. Something was wrong… Silence! That’s what worried Jane.

«Chesky, where are you?» Jane called softly, but her six-year-old nephew did not answer. Just spinning around and suddenly disappearing, he suspiciously calmed down. Jane, forgetting about the notes, rushed to search for Chesky. The loss was discovered in the kitchen: the boy was sitting on the floor enthusiastically arranging cups, mugs, and glasses of different sizes in even rows. Jane gasped: well, that’s it, now she will get in trouble with Alina! The older sister, about to leave on business for a couple of hours, had strictly ordered Jane to keep an eye on Chesky, but, apparently, the younger sister failed the task. She had so wanted to show Alina that she was already quite mature and responsible.

Usually, Chesky was looked after by the mother of Jane and Alina, but she had to leave for a short time, and Jane began to help her sister, especially since she was still living in her sister’s house. The preparation for exams prevented the young aunt from fully showing off her pedagogical talent; she had graduated from school and was accustomed to taking her studies seriously.

Surveying the scene, Jane concluded that no catastrophe had happened, and Chesky, crawling on the floor and breathing intently with zeal, looked so funny! Now she would quickly clean everything up and make a suggestion to her nephew: dishes are not toys at all. Although the neat rows of cups and glasses looked quite attractive. Jane furrowed her brows sternly.

«Chesky, why did you put the cups on the floor? Dishes are not intended for games at all, especially on a dirty floor. And then, you could accidentally break something and hurt yourself.»

The nephew raised his narrow face, beaming with a smile, towards Jane: «Beautiful, isn’t it?» The aunt was silent, and the boy repeated more insistently: «I’m doing well, right?»

«Yes, just a good fellow!» Jane muttered under her breath and reached for one of the cups on the floor.

«No! Do not touch! Beautiful!» Chesky rushed to defend his creation.

Jane shrugged her shoulders: Chesky is a special child, and if he is carried away by any idea, making him quit what he started is absolutely hopeless. And if you try to switch his attention to something else? Only for what? Cars! Well, of course, the nephew does not part for a minute with his box of little treasures. Surprisingly, now he had forgotten about them.

«Chesky, where is your box with cars? Let’s go look.» Surprisingly, the boy resignedly left his occupation and went in search. The loss was found in the toilet.

«What were you doing with your toys in a place like this? Did you play there?»

«I had a great idea, didn’t I?» Chesky was not at all embarrassed, and Jane perceived his surprise as admiration for his ingenuity.

Having seated her nephew at the kitchen table, Jane set about cleaning up and washing dishes. From time to time, she glanced at Chesky, never ceasing to be surprised at his purposefulness: the boy lined up his favorite little cars in perfectly even rows. Having completed the column to the edge of the table, Chesky turned it around and continued in the opposite direction.

«It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Beautiful?» He demanded praise for his efforts now and then.

«Of course, beautiful, Chesky!» Jane sighed furtively: that’s the whole Chesky. A sweet and kind boy, but, unfortunately, completely unable to absorb any more or less complex information. He seemed to live in his own world, not wanting to let anything from the outside world into it. Any information passed through him without delay, and he continued to go about his business, not paying any attention to it. Their common amusements with Jane usually boiled down to tag and running around with the ball, and the young aunt wanted to teach her nephew some more difficult game, but Jane did not succeed.

From her mother, the girl heard that her nephew had serious problems, but she didn’t really think about it; she had enough of her own worries with her studies. She just loved Chesky the way he was.

AUTISM

For the first time, the word «autism» was heard in the house of Alina and her husband several years ago. Young parents could not understand why their boy cried so often for no apparent reason and opposed being picked up. The joy of waiting for the firstborn was replaced by anxiety for him and approaching despair. The diagnosis made by doctors was a heavy blow for the family, but at least there was some certainty. Alina learned to put up with her son’s condition; she stopped perceiving him as a universal tragedy. Moreover, soon there was no time to indulge in despair: Nina was born, and Alina, willy-nilly, was distracted from sad thoughts, absorbed in worries about the baby. Now Nina is already four years old, she is quite healthy and even sometimes helps her mother raise her brother, in her own way, of course. A retired grandmother also contributes all possible assistance in raising her grandson, but at the same time pampers him, like all grandmothers in the world. Alina tried to correct the consequences of her grandmother’s adoration, but all her attempts to explain to her son which of his actions upset the loved ones, and which, on the contrary, please, ended in complete failure: the information seemed to pass through Chesky without delay. The boy had a habit of speaking in a thin high voice, and when he, without listening to what was said to him, interrupted his interlocutor, it made a very depressing impression. Sometimes, after particularly daring pranks, his mother put Chesky in a corner. This did not upset the boy at all; he even found a lot of interesting things to do in the corner: he scratched the wall or funny imitated his mother’s angry intonations.

RESTLESS MORNING

Jane opened her eyes and smiled: the exam is over; today she could relax and lie in bed longer. It wasn’t meant to be! Alina, ready to leave, looked into the room:

«Jane, dear, be kind, look after Chesky, Nina, and I are going to the clinic.»

«And good morning to you too… Well, of course, I’ll look after him. Go.»

Chesky squeezed past Alina into the room, loaded with a huge box of Lego. Without wasting time, the boy immediately began to build a grandiose building. Jane tried to doze a little more, but the trick failed: Chesky resolutely pushed almost half of the details of the designer towards her: «You, too, build!» His nephew continually accompanied his work with some remarks:

«It will be a house. It’s beautiful, right? And there will be a path, long, flat, right? Beautiful?»

He struggled to draw his young aunt into a dialogue, and the half-asleep Jane was forced to answer: «Yes, of course, it’s beautiful, well done!» The same thing ten, fifteen, twenty times! Jane slowly began to boil. She remembered her friend, constantly showing off her new blouse, her handbag, and her branded cosmetics. Well, a person just constantly wants to be in the center of everyone’s attention! Apparently, Chesky also really needs this. But Jane was terribly tired of answering the same questions all the time. Something needs to be done about this. And what if you try to fight the unpleasant habit of your nephew with his own methods?

«Nice track? Yes?» Chesky again insistently demanded the approval of his work.

«Nice, Chesky?» Jane decided to put her idea into practice and forwarded the question to Chesky himself. The surprise written on the child’s face in large letters slightly amused the young aunt.

«Yes, beautiful…» Chesky said, a little bewildered. Jane hid a satisfied smile: it worked! She got out of bed and perched on the floor next to her nephew.

«Where are those bricks that you left for me? I will also build a house; I have not done this for a long time.»

Once upon a time, Jane was very fond of constructing buildings from Lego, and now she has again taken up construction with pleasure. Chesky’s face beamed with a smile: together with Jane, they will build not just a house, but a real castle! Sticking out the tip of his tongue from zeal, the boy enthusiastically helped Jane, periodically asking: «Beautiful, right? I’m good, right?»

But Jane used the previously tested method and forwarded the question to Chesky. After a while, she noted with satisfaction that her nephew no longer asked questions. «Looks like it worked!» The girl thought and smiled. It seems that she coped with one unpleasant habit of her nephew; there was one more. Chesky never listened to the end of anyone; he certainly had to interrupt the interlocutor. How to fix this, Jane did not yet know, but she promised herself to do everything possible.

FIRST PHOTOS

The castle turned out to be a feast for the eyes: tall, beautiful, with thin turrets and openwork bridges. After admiring the joint creation, Jane went to the castle to put away the details of the designer in the box. Alina was about to return home, and the girl wanted to put the toys back in place for the arrival of her older sister.

«No! It is forbidden! Beautiful!» Chesky’s reaction to Jane’s attempt to restore order was, in general, predictable.

The boy never agreed to destroy his creations with his own hands and did not allow others to do so. Usually, Alina put the columns and paths built by Chesky back in place when the boy was already asleep. Recently, the responsibility to clean up after her brother was entrusted to little Nina.

«Yes, it turned out very beautifully…» Jane herself felt sorry for destroying the beautiful castle. And then it dawned on her: «Chesky, I know what we will do!»

Recently, a girl was presented with a great camera for her birthday. Jane decided to capture their common creation with her nephew. Taking out the camera, she took a couple of pictures of the beautiful castle and showed the result to Chesky. The boy was delighted.

«Beautiful! Our castle! Great!»

«Chesky, come on, pose for me next to the castle. People should know by sight the author of such a wonderful structure.»

There was no need to persuade his nephew: Chesky, smiling proudly, sat down next to his creation, and Jane quickly took a few shots. Considering the photo session over, Chesky rushed to throw the details of the Lego around the room, accompanying this rampage with loud cries: «Hurrah!» Jane captured this on camera. Mentally sympathizing with her sister, she began to calm her outraged nephew:

«All right, Chesky, enough frolic, let’s put things in order.»

They put the first Lego pieces together in a box, and little by little Chesky got involved and finished the cleaning himself. Touched by the sight of her nephew fascinated by his work, Jane took a few more pictures. She even had a name for these shots when she was looking through the pictures: «Diligent Chesky puts things in order.» Fleetingly, Jane was surprised at how different Chesky can be. Voices were heard in the hallway: Alina and Nina returned home. For today, the babysitting job for Jane was over.

WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS BAD

Where did the cute and calm child go? From the moment Alina returned home, Chesky seemed to have been possessed by a demon: he did not let his mother say a word, constantly interrupting her, looked into the bag without asking, pushed Nina away, and then completely began to jump on the sofa, screaming loudly. Alina, tired of making comments to the guy, sent him to a corner so that he would reflect at his leisure on his behavior. Chesky, however, also arranged entertainment for himself out of punishment: he selflessly scratched the wall with his finger and muttered something unintelligible under his breath.

Jane, slightly shocked by such a sharp change in her nephew’s behavior, kept clicking the camera. She decided not to say anything to Alina yet, postponing the conversation for later.

In the evening, the girl went to her friend’s to prepare for the next exam together, and at the same time printed out photos of Chesky. Returning home, Jane found her nephew very excited. Alina even complained to her sister that she couldn’t calm Chesky down.

«Chesky, come here, I’ll tell you…» Jane did not have time to finish the sentence. The nephew swooped down on her like a whirlwind:

«And I, and I have…» the words poured out of him like peas from a leaky bag, but it was completely impossible to catch any meaning.

However, Jane tried to listen carefully to Chesky. After a few seconds, the flow of indistinct interjections dried up, and the girl finally managed to insert a word:

«Did you say everything, Chesky? Can I talk now?» The boy nodded, and Jane finally said what she wanted: «I brought photographs in which you are in the lead role. Well, let’s see them?»

The girl took out a pack of photographs from her bag and laid them out on the table. Chesky began looking at the photographs with interest. The one on which he put away the details of the Lego, he especially liked:

«I did that!»

«Of course, well done, look how you try to put things in order!» Jane noted that the nephew did not forget to praise himself. «We will hang this picture on the door of your locker so that everyone can admire such a diligent mother’s assistant.»

«This is a bad photo,» Chesky was holding a picture in his hands, capturing him at the moment of throwing toys around the room.

«Yeah, no one likes such ugly behavior. We will hide this photo from prying eyes inside your locker, and only you and I will know about it.»

In the following days, Jane constantly photographed her nephew in one activity or another. As a result, quite a lot of pictures accumulated, there was no longer enough space on the locker doors for them, and a new idea came to the girl’s head. Once again returning from her friend, Jane gathered Chesky and Nina at the table, laid out two large folders in front of them — a white one and a black one — and a whole bunch of felt-tip pens, markers, colored paper, and other stationery joys. The girl borrowed a special paper cutter from her friend.

«Let’s clean up our photo archive. Chesky, here are two boxes, in one of them you will put the pictures that you like, and in the other — those that you can’t be proud of. Let’s take a look at this photo. What are you doing in it?»

«I’m putting the constructor back in place.»

«Is this a good deed or a bad one?»

«Good! I’m done!»

«What box will we put this picture in?»

«The one with the pictures of good behavior.»

«Great, we’ll do that. What are you doing in this picture?»

«Throwing toys.»

«What is your behavior at this moment? Good or bad?»

«I’m bad here!»

«No, Chesky, you are not bad, your behavior is bad. In which box should this photo be placed?»

«Here in this, where behavior is bad.»

«That’s right, so we’ll do it.»

Auntie and nephew discussed all the photos in this way, and Jane was convinced that Chesky correctly assessed his actions. The sorted pictures needed to be nicely arranged and appropriate inscriptions were made under each, which Jane did. She discussed each signature with her nephew, telling him why it is good to do it this way, and bad in another way. Chesky willingly came up with names for the pictures: «Chesky is building a castle, he’s done well» or «Chesky is jumping around the room and screaming, he’s behaving badly.» Jane then instructed her nephew to carefully trim the edges of the pictures so that they were all the same size. Working with scissors was not easy for Chesky, and a paper cutter was very useful here. The boy wielded it quite deftly, and the edges of the pictures turned out to be even. For the future, Jane planned for herself to teach her nephew to work with scissors.

After that, it was time for decorating. Chesky did not differ in special patience and perseverance, and Nina, a great lover of drawing and coloring pictures, came to the aid of her brother. She drew frames around the pictures. Chesky, with apparent pleasure, commented on the most expressive photos for Nina:

«Look, Nina, I’m behaving badly here, I’m kicking the bear,» but there was no remorse on the boy’s smiling face.

«The bear is in pain, but you rejoice! It’s not funny,» Nina did not share her brother’s fun at all.

«Not funny?» Chesky was very surprised by Nina’s reaction, but he did not think about this topic for a long time and moved on to discussing another picture.

Jane was depressed by this behavior of his nephew: the boy reacted in much the same way to his good and bad deeds captured by the camera — he admired himself and had fun. The girl wanted to teach Chesky to distinguish between good and evil, but Jane had a very vague idea of how to do this. Postponing the solution of the problem for later, the young aunt turned to her nephew:

«Wow, how interesting you are talking about each picture! Just a real teacher, we can send you right now to teach children at our school.»

«I’m smart, right?» Chesky immediately remembered his habit of constantly asking questions, and Jane almost fell into a trap, but caught herself in time, returning the question:

«Are you smart, Chesky?»

«Yes, I’m smart!» the boy answered his own question with visible pleasure.

«That’s what we call this folder.»

Chesky liked the idea.

«What do we call the other one?» Nina asked.

«I’m bad,» Chesky said.

Jane immediately responded:

«You’re not bad, you have bad behavior, of course. Let’s call the second folder „Bad Behavior.“»

Restless Chesky kept trying to quit work and go to play. It took a lot of work for Jane to keep her nephew in place, asking him again and again about what was shown in the pictures, good or bad and why. Nina enthusiastically painted the sheets of papers.

Jane and Chesky distributed the pictures into different folders, supplying them with captions The white folder was decorated with the inscription: «Chesky is a smart boy. Good Behavior» and the line «Bad Behavior» appeared on the black one.

SCHOOL NAMED ME

Before going to sleep, lying in bed, Jane recalled how vividly Chesky discussed the photos. The girl came up with an interesting idea. In the morning, she shared the idea with her nephew:

«Chesky, I think we need to organize a special school in which you will be the main teacher. You will teach the other guys the rules of good behavior. What do you think?» Jane mentally applauded herself for a great idea, seeing how the boy’s face shone with joy.

«Hooray! Great!» Chesky jumped like a frisky kid from the emotions that overwhelmed him.

«I’m glad you like my idea. It will be a school named after…» Jane hesitated, looking for the right word.

«Me!» Chesky shouted. «School named after Me! I will be a teacher!»

«Well, of course, your name, how could it be otherwise,» Jane muttered and added more confidently: «And don’t doubt it! Let’s get the class and students ready.»

It was not possible to immediately put the plan into action: Chesky’s next building was located in the most suitable place for equipment of the class. As usual, he didn’t let anyone take it away.

«Photo! Take a photo!» The boy was very determined, and Jane took advantage of the situation: «Good idea, but isn’t it time for you to learn how to take pictures yourself? You are such a smart guy, you will certainly succeed. Come on, take the camera like this, look here, now press this button…»

A few seconds — and the first photo is ready! Chesky had one more reason to be proud of himself. Together, the aunt and nephew dismantled the building, put the parts of the designer into a box, and proceeded to equip the classroom. In the center of the room, Chesky and Jane put a table for the «teacher.» The sofa became a place for students. All Chesky’s soft toys were invited to these roles, and Jane joined them as a teacher’s assistant. The «teacher» himself put on his hat and dad’s tie. It was assumed that these details of the toilet would give the boy solidity, but in fact, Chesky looked very funny. The main teaching aids were two folders with photographs — white and black.

«Let’s start the lesson. Silence in the classroom!» Chesky tapped the table with a pointer, calling the class to attention. He tried to be serious.

And so the educational process began. Using the example of photographs from white and black folders, the teacher clearly explained to the students what is «good» and what is «bad»: «Throwing toys and jumping on the sofa is bad, look, children, at this picture. This one is very ugly, and mom will be upset. And look here — I collect toys in a box and put them in their place.»

Jane prompted a little: «Now the room is in order. Mom will be happy.»

«And these photos are good, here the boy built a beautiful castle and helps his mother with the housework.»

The students did not behave in the best way: they made noise, interrupted the teacher, and the teacher scolded them and put them in a corner, and Chesky really liked this part.

Each picture showing bad behavior was balanced by a photo in which Chesky behaved perfectly. He even began to invent bad behavior himself so that later he could photograph the good and explain it to the students.

The boy showed photographs, describing in detail what is depicted in each of them. It seems that Chesky finally got what he always aspired to — everyone’s attention. He noticeably calmed down: now he is the most important, he is a teacher, and he has something to tell his students about.

HOMEMADE ABC

One day, when Nina came home from kindergarten, Jane had an idea for a new, exciting project. The school named after Chesky needed more educational materials, so she suggested creating a homemade alphabet book. They quickly got to work: Jane would call out a letter, the children would find an object whose name began with that letter, and Chesky would take a picture. Illustrations appeared one after another: A for apple, B for banana, C for circle. Chesky, filled with a sense of responsibility, took his job very seriously.

Nina then came up with a wonderful idea: to create a manual for mathematics lessons. She and Jane assembled compositions from several identical objects, and Chesky photographed them: one pencil, two balls, three Lego blocks. The time flew by, and they were slightly disappointed when Alina called them to dinner, interrupting their enjoyable activity.

When the children fell asleep, Jane and Alina retired to the kitchen to drink tea and discuss the day. Jane shared the details of their activities at the «School named after Me» and showed the photos taken during the day.

«Jane, why are you putting in all this effort?» Alina sighed. «Chesky is who he is. You can’t change him. I’m exhausted.»

«Why are you so sure? I’ve heard stories about people changing, even learning to do something.»

«Stories are one thing; real life is another,» Alina shrugged.

Jane knew her sister had tried at first but had quickly become too tired. She thought Alina had given up too soon.

«Alina, you know I use my friend’s printer to print the photos. There are so many now, and it’s not convenient for me to keep asking Eva. Maybe we should get our own printer?»

«That’s actually a good idea. Chesky has calmed down a lot thanks to your projects. I’ll talk to my husband; I’m sure he won’t mind.»

Chesky embraced his role as a teacher, diligently preparing for each lesson. He no longer had time for pranks; it wasn’t fitting for a teacher to behave poorly. During lessons, Jane was actively involved, asking questions and sometimes playfully scolding the «students» for not paying attention.

New lesson topics required new materials. Jane and Chesky collected them during walks, photographing trees, houses, cats, dogs, and children playing in the park. They prepared textbooks about flowers, trees, pets, and even created a guidebook from pictures of the buildings and park near their house. Next, they planned a book about the seasons and a manual for physical education, featuring a series of photos of Chesky performing various exercises.

READING LESSONS

Alina often complained about how difficult it was to read to the children. Chesky would lose patience quickly, interrupt, shout, jump up, and run around. Nina would often be upset because she wanted to listen to the story, but her brother wouldn’t let her.

One day, Jane decided to read to the children herself. She chose «The Three Little Pigs.» As soon as she started reading, Chesky shouted, «I know! I can read the word wolf!»

«Then you will be responsible for reading «wolf’ every time we see it,» Jane said, accommodating her nephew’s eagerness to show off his new skill.

For the first time, Chesky listened attentively to the entire story, waiting for his turn to read. These reading sessions became regular, and gradually Chesky started listening carefully and reading familiar words from the text.

WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER

One of Alina and Jane’s relatives was getting married, and the whole family was invited. Alina was excited but worried about Chesky’s behavior.

«I can’t imagine who to leave Chesky with on the wedding day,» Alina said, not considering taking him along.

«Don’t worry. I promise you won’t have to blush for Chesky’s behavior,» Jane assured her sister. «I’ll take care of everything.»

On the wedding day, Chesky, dressed in a festive suit and armed with a camera, looked very handsome. He approached guests politely, asking to take their pictures. His charm and politeness won everyone over, even the newlyweds posed for him. Throughout the evening, guests complimented Alina on her wonderful son. Jane, as promised, spent the whole evening with Chesky, marveling at how well he presented himself.

When they returned home, Jane whispered to her nephew, «Well, teacher, you have a topic for a new lesson: „How to take wedding photos.“»

LIVING PHOTOBOOKS

A few months later, the work at the School Named After Chesky continued with unwavering success. Jane and her nephews kept creating new textbooks and improving the old ones. Chesky’s parents also joined the process.

The father of the family, who often had to travel for work, was only home on weekends. Sunday lunch became a special family tradition: Chesky would tell his father about the new subjects at his school and how the students behaved. His speech was now clear and coherent, sensibly narrating the news and showcasing his educational materials. Dad cherished these family gatherings, finding comfort and warmth in the memories during his long trips. In gratitude, he would bring gifts useful for the school or new materials. The biggest gift came on Chesky’s birthday: a real camera. Jane had returned to live with her mother, and Chesky needed his own tool.

People who knew Chesky from before were amazed at the changes in his character and behavior. He had become a very responsible boy, clearly distinguishing between «good» and «bad.» He no longer stooped to pranks, now proudly bearing the title of «Teacher» and setting an example for his students.

Nina occasionally brought her friends to lessons at the School Named After Chesky, expanding the circle of students. Chesky directed his boundless energy into inventing new subjects, compiling new photobooks, and reworking old ones: adding and removing pictures according to his ideas.

«Our photobooks are alive! They either get fat or lose weight,» Chesky commented on the changes.

He was especially pleased that the white folder «Good Deeds» was getting thicker, while the black one was losing weight day by day. Jane played a part in this: during her visits, she always photographed her nephew’s progress.

The days spent with Chesky profoundly impacted Jane as well. After successfully passing her final school exams, she decided to study to become a child psychologist, convinced that Chesky had helped her make this choice.

FAILED PLAN

«Elina, what do you say if we go out for a walk on Saturday? Let’s go to the movies, gorge ourselves on popcorn, and watch some sweet female melodrama, huh? Or vice versa, a raunchy comedy? And then we’ll go to a restaurant and try different goodies until we get bored. I understand that you have John, but you can ask your babysitter to sit with him.»

Elina thought. Few people could understand how much she wanted to accept Irene’s invitation. Put on a beautiful dress, high-heel shoes, and stroll in a restaurant or even just in the lobby of a cinema, attracting the eyes of others. After all, she devoted most of her time to her son, completely forgetting about herself. And she had a nanny in mind: she used her services when she urgently needed to leave for work or other matters.

«You know, Irene… I agree! Let’s go! I’ve wanted this for so long. Tomorrow I will call Mrs. Jones and ask her to look after John.»

«Elina! You have no idea how happy I am to hear that! To be honest, I didn’t have much hope. I’ll pick you up at eight tomorrow, okay?»

The next day passed for Elina in pleasant anticipation. She seemed to fly, preparing a dress, picking up shoes, and doing her hair. She imagined how she and Irene would walk together, laughing at some funny stories, remembering their fun student or school years…

But at five o’clock in the evening, the phone rang:

«Elina, darling, I know I promised to come, but it just so happened that my grandson fell ill. Sorry, there’s no way I can look after John today,» Mrs. Jones said, obviously upset.

«Yes, of course. It’s okay,» Elina answered in a fallen voice.

As she hung up the phone, she nearly burst into tears. Why is that?! Why on the one day she decided to arrange a little holiday for herself, did everything turn out this way? Holding back tears rising to her throat, she began to dial Irene’s phone number.

«Elina… Nothing, just don’t get upset. Well, not the last day we live, well, what are you… You know, I have a great idea. What if I come to you? I’ll go to the store for a cake, and we’ll sit with you. And John will play in his room. What do you think?»

Elina agreed reluctantly. Knowing her child, she knew perfectly well that just sitting and chatting would not work for them.

Of course, the evening did not go at all as Irene had hoped and imagined. As soon as John saw her in the hallway, he began to pull Elina by the hand, trying to take her to his room. When this did not work out, he came to the kitchen, brought his balls, and began to show them to Irene. She looked thoughtfully at the boy.

TRUE FRIEND

special interest of an autistic child

ELINA’S USUAL MORNING

Elina’s Sunday morning began as usual. After breakfast, she looked with annoyance at the room, where balls of all kinds and sizes were scattered around.

«Johnny, I asked you to clean them up after you finished playing,» Elina muttered hopelessly.

John, seven years old and autistic, looked at her with his big, innocent eyes. When the diagnosis was first made, Elina struggled to accept that her son would forever be different. Terms like «special child» caused her deep despair. Over time, it became clear that John’s condition was a lifelong reality. Elina’s life had changed forever.

John’s father, who initially tried to support her, eventually left. Elina didn’t blame him; she simply allowed him to go, left alone with her child. She was grateful for his financial support but couldn’t understand how he could leave a child who needed so much love and care. She resolved to give John a worthy future, no matter the cost.

She spent hours talking with her son, even though at the age of seven he could only say one word: «mom.» It hurt Elina to tears, but the way John said it revealed a range of emotions.

John was a charming child, but his need for attention sometimes created problems. He was especially demanding when someone visited their home. Alone, he could entertain himself, but with visitors, he became restless and insistent on having Elina’s attention.

As he grew older, his autistic behaviors became more pronounced. He could sit for hours in an empty box until Elina got him out. Perhaps the small, enclosed space gave him a sense of security. His other passion was balls; he could twirl and twist them endlessly.

One doctor suggested removing all of John’s balls, but Elina doubted this advice. The balls were one of the few things that soothed her child. Instead of taking them away, she bought him more, in various colors, sizes, and textures. John looked truly happy when she poured out this treasure before him.

«Mom…» John whispered, fascinated by his new toys.

Many acquaintances drifted away after learning about John’s condition, but Elina didn’t mind. She valued those who stayed, like her best friend Irene, who had been a constant in her life.

Irene always brought a whirlwind of energy into Elina’s home, sharing news about mutual acquaintances, her family, and her acting courses. She made jewelry from beads and stones and often brought gifts, including new balls for John. Her visits revived Elina’s zest for life.

However, Irene’s visits also triggered John’s need for attention. He would pull Elina away, show her his balls, and do everything to distract her from Irene. They saw it as childish jealousy, and they tried to understand and accommodate him. Their visits rarely lasted more than an hour due to John’s persistence.

Elina dreamed of explaining to John how important Irene’s visits were to her, how much she wanted to immerse herself in their conversations, even if only for half an hour.

Irene also wished to help Elina find some respite. About once a month, she would make timid attempts to drag her childhood friend out of the house to stir her up. One day, knowing that Elina wouldn’t dare to agree in person, Irene preceded her proposal with a call.

IRENE’S IDEA

«Listen, Elina, have you thought about the fact that he needs some kind of constructive, purposeful activity to be involved in? It seems to me that this would do him good, and it would give you a little bit of freedom — you need it so much. I recently read how parents develop the abilities of their children with autism through photography. I will send you a link. In my opinion, you and John could make an excellent photobook on the subject of his balls. After all, it is obvious that they are his greatest passion,» Irene suggested, having listened with interest to Elina’s stories about John before and offering various ways to diversify his life with benefits.

Irene’s words did not leave Elina’s head for several days. The idea seemed very interesting to her. She thought about how nice it would be if John had some kind of productive activity, if his blind passion for balls grew into something more, something creative and interesting. In the end, she took out an old camera, which she rarely used.

«Maybe this could be the start of something new for John,» Elina thought, holding the camera. She smiled, thinking of her son’s excitement about the project, and felt a glimmer of hope for a brighter future.

ELINA GETTING STARTED

First, she took a couple of pictures of her son playing with balls in his room, office, and kitchen. Later, she looked at these photos, and some vague thought was spinning in her head. It seemed to her that John in the photographs looked somehow different.

Suddenly, Elina realized what it was. Her son’s expression was unusually calm. Normally agitated, here he looked surprisingly peaceful. In the bustle of weekdays, it is sometimes difficult to notice changes in facial expressions and behaviour. Photography has become an excellent indicator of the real situation.

The idea of studying his son unnoticed, with the help of a photo, was inspiring. Elina began to take photos of her son and his balls more and more often and more and more inspiringly. The son noticed her actions, but was not particularly interested in them. When she had a small collection of such photos, she printed them out, bought a binder, sheets of multi-colored thick paper and transparent protective files, deciding that they would become materials for creating a photobook.

— Look, Johnny. I have pictures of you with balls. Let’s try to make a real photobook about them. We need to choose the best photos, attach them to these multi-colored sheets with tape and arrange them in the right order. Let’s try! What photos do you like the most?

At first, the child only enthusiastically examined the images of himself in the company of his favorite balls. Then he suddenly took a sheet of yellow cardboard and carefully placed on it a photograph of him embracing a yellow ball. He did the same with the others: very thoughtfully John laid out photos of himself and his balls on sheets of paper, according to their colors. Elina was impressed by the enthusiasm and taste, with which her boy coped with the task.

Their first photobook turned out to be very cute. However, more importantly, John liked this activity, and began to devote a lot of time to it. When the book was ready, Elina realized that he was capable of more and it was time to move on.

— John, do you want to try to take a picture of your balls yourself? What if we make a whole photobook about them?

Hearing his favorite word «balls», the boy looked up at the camera and began to listen carefully to his mother. Elina diligently explained to him the essence of the camera in the simplest words. It turned out to be easier than expected. On the same day, John took the first beautiful photo: mom surrounded by his favorite balls.

JOHN GOT CARRIED AWAY

An unprecedented occupation unexpectedly captivated John. He enthusiastically took pictures of his toys. Like a real photographer, he meticulously chose angles. Previously, he always did everything in his own way. Now it was surprising that he listened to the advice of his mother, recognized her experience. And she showed how to make photos more vivid, how to choose the right angle and lighting. Now they work together. Every day John got more great photos.

Over time, he liked to photograph the same ball, against a different background. Elina bought him large sheets of multi-colored paper for this. He could spend hours doing this and clearly liked the combination of different colors.

The days flew by. Elina was incredibly pleased with her son’s new occupation. In addition, she felt more freedom than before, as her son began to find his own activities. In addition, this joint work revealed many simple concepts as «closer, far away, in the middle, etc» that John did not know at all, and Elina had a great opportunity to explain them to her son, showing them in practice, as if in passing, and then, on occasion, make sure that he had learned them.

It is often difficult for autistic children to explain to others what they feel or want, and John was no exception. His speech was limited to the word «mom», that is why it was so important to establish contact with him: in order to better understand him and develop his abilities.

CREATIVE UNION OF MOTHER AND SON

Elina was able to appreciate that photobooks were a great opportunity to establish better contact with her child. First they made a photobook called «Colors’ ' a photobook about the colors of a rainbow, placing there photographs of balls of various shades, of which John had many. After that, the idea of a size book came up: „Large, medium, small.“ Elina saw an opportunity to teach John new concepts and the words ``more», «less», «equally». A book about the positions of objects: «before», «right», «between». And, of course, they made a photobook about numbers: «one ball», «two balls’».

Usually John resisted attempts to give him some new knowledge, but now he received them in passing, as if in between times, «for your photobook.» For Elina, this in itself became an exciting game — to choose the words, categories and concepts that she wanted to teach John, and then come up with and select stories for them for filming. John flourished from this new, high-quality gaming attention, and participated with pleasure in these games with his mother during the filming.

— Johnny, put the orange ball in the middle. Right here. The middle is between two other balls.

And later she saw the result:

«What do you think would be a good ball if you put it in the middle between these huge green ones?» Little red? Great. Put it down soon. I want to photograph them myself.

Elina had fun, rejoicing to herself that he understood about the «middle».

— In order for the balls to be evenly positioned in the photo, you need to move the ball, which we have on the edge, which means at the very end. Yes, everything is fine now. Well done. You can shoot!

In the future, she already planned to expand the field of their activities and walk around the nearby shops that sell balls, and at the same time introduce her son to the concepts of «address» and «route».

Next in line was the idea of a photobook about different shapes: a circle made of balls, a square, a triangle. The idea of sports is tennis ball, soccer ball, basketball. Elina imagined how she would tell her son about different sports and even show short videos about each of them. Fortunately, the necessary balls and the Internet were at hand. She felt that she herself had already fallen in love with these magic balls.

Elina got the idea to talk to John’s teacher in special program he attended, so she’d demonstrated photobooks there

ORDER FOR THE MASTER

When Irene came to visit a small family, Elina asked her son to bring his photobooks. Irene was amazed at the quality of his work and openly admired the boy’s talent. An expression of pride and satisfaction gradually appeared on the face of John. Then the friends sat together in the kitchen, and John took pictures of the new balls that Iren bought for him, choosing the best angles and background colors.

— Elina, he is very talented. Just look at the quality pictures he took. These balls seem to have a lifetime. As if they have their own characters and destinies, but only John sees them. And in the photographs, he shows them so clearly, so vividly… Listen, I have an idea. How about John makes a portfolio of jewelry that I make? It could be the same photobook as with balls, only there would be pictures of my bracelets, pendants and earrings. I could show it to my clients, and we would put John’s name on it. It’s like he’s a real professional photographer. What do you think?

— In my opinion… that is a wonderful idea; — Elina struggled to find words that could express her feelings. — I don’t know. Let’s ask John.

— John, could you make the same photobook for Irene? Only instead of balls there will be her earrings and bracelets. She loves them as much as you love your balls.

The child thought for a moment. Then he went up to Iren and took her hand, touching the shiny bracelet. Then he shifted his cautious gaze to her earrings. He nodded to his mother and went to his room for a camera.

Elina felt involuntary tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked at her friend and whispered:

— What would I do without you, my true friend!

THREE MUSKETEERS

relationship with animals

MIA and MISHA

— Mom, Misha is gone! — A ten-year-old girl flew into the room like a rocket. «I can’t find him anywhere. Including his cage!

«Honey, I let him fly, look in the living room,» Linda smiled at her daughter. Mia was always worried when it came to her beloved parrot. Misha lived with them for a couple of years and during this time became the girl’s best friend. It was even named after her. She tirelessly played and took pictures of him. She loved him so much that sometimes the bird began to get tired of her attention. In such cases, Misha flew somewhere higher and pretended not to hear Mia calling him.

«Maria, give the poor parrot a little rest. Since you got a camera, Misha’s quiet life has ended. Have pity on him, he’s still not a fashion model.

— Well, yes. Misha is much better,» the girl said confidently. «I’ll go visit the neighbors then, okay?» I’ll play with Matti.

MATTI MEETS MISHA

The neighboring family lived next door: Parents were almost the same age and their six-year-old son Matti. Families were friends and often ran to each other for small things or just to chat. Mother Olga liked to talk about her son’s little successes. Several years ago Matti was diagnosed with autism. The first days Olga could not believe it and constantly tried to find another explanation for her son’s oddities. She considered it a mistake by the doctors, a misunderstanding, and anything else. She did not want to believe that her beautiful child would never be like other children. In those days, Linda and her husband spent a lot of time with their friends. They considered it their duty to support the family‘s situation. Linda studied mountains of literature and learned a lot about autism and ways to socialize children with this diagnosis. Being a schoolteacher, she perfectly understood how important it was to help Matti bring out his abilities in the best possible way.

She was also very pleased that her own daughter did not experience any discomfort when communicating with a special boy. Having worked at the school for many years, Linda knew that children can be very cruel, especially to those who are different from them. Therefore, she always watched closely to see if Mia showed cruelty to her friend. Fortunately, the girl was not at all embarrassed by the fact that Matti rarely spoke, and sometimes simply repeated her words verbatim.

Being a very cheerful and talkative child by nature, Mia constantly chirped about something, and Matti listened to her attentively. Like many autistic children, Matti avoided innovation in the usual course of life, but his friend often forced him to change habits. At first, this was a little scary for the parents, however, later it became clear that both children benefit from it. Mia learned responsibility, and Matti expanded his horizons. Olga only asked them to spend time in their house being afraid that in a new environment Matti might get scared.

This day was different. Inspired by thoughts of her bird, Mia was determined to show it to her friend.

— Can Matti and I play together in our house? I will introduce him to Misha. Matti is my friend and Misha too. I want them to become friends as well.

Olga thought for a moment. She did not like the idea of her son being in an unfamiliar place, and besides, she did not know how he would react to a bird that he had never seen up close before. On the other hand, next to Mia, Matti always looked relaxed and satisfied, and sometimes even talked to her, which was completely atypical for him.

— Matti, do you want to go with Mia and meet her bird?

The child paused, looked at Mia, and then nodded uncertainty. This played a decisive role.

— Okay, just let me go with you. Your mom and I will sit in the kitchen, and you will play with Misha, — Olga was still afraid to leave her child unattended.

As soon as they entered the house, Mia pulled Matti by the hand.

— Let’s go quickly. Misha is in his cage, in my room. He has his feeder and bathes there. Also he has a mirror and talks to it very funny, — Mia cheerfully told her friend about her favorite bird.

They entered the room. The parrot got distracted from his activity and carefully looked at the children. Recognizing the hostess and assessing her companion, Misha suddenly spread his wings wide and began to clean them with his beak. Matti froze a couple of meters from the cage, with fear visible in his eyes. He had never seen animals so close before, and it must have frightened him. Matti froze in horror, and his friend immediately felt something was wrong.

— Matti! Matti, what’s wrong with you? You should not be afraid, Misha does not bite at all, — she was confused and did not think her little bird could frighten the boy.