для читателей старше 18 лет
Swinging Tragedy (script)
Scene one — late working meeting, somewhere around midnight. The scene is laid in an assembly hall.
There are eight men and women sitting in business suits; their faces are dull. Chief Oleg Anatolievich Zolkin — a big stodgy 50-year old man of some 120 kg — is delivering a speech.
Zolkin addressing one of the attendees
— You are a moron and a total failure. All of you together don’t even have five percent of the knowledge I have. I have made my fortune myself; I worked as an auditor at night and I performed at karate competitions after my military service. As a lawyer, I defended our ministers in France. I am now doing some programming for the American NASA, and you are not capable of anything, you, idlers. Let’s take you, Andrey, what will you tell us today about tax risks?
— I think it’s dangerous to trade through Molokotorg without paying taxes as our production volumes no longer meet the unified agricultural tax criteria.
— Idiot, you know nothing about the Tax Code, your knowledge is worthless, we won’t pay your wages.
— I am sick and tired of sitting here from dawn to dusk and getting nothing for my work apart from curses. I want to leave your company.
Zolkin, red with anger
— What do you mean, to leave?! I once killed a doctor who did not want to operate on my father; I simply put a scalpel to his throat and slit it open. Do you know what I’m gonna do to you?!
Zolkin runs up to Andrey and tries to deal him a blow. Andrey turns away and runs towards the door. Zolkin runs after him. Andrey tries to open the door, but it won’t open. Realizing that Zolkin is about to reach him, Andrey turns back to face him and deals him two boxing blows on the jaw with his left arm ready to add another blow with his right arm. Here, the door opens and Andrey’s colleague — Konstantin — walks in and howls: «Andrey».
Andrey gets scared by the shout; his right arm hangs in the air for a second. Zolkin makes use of this confusion; he hits the jaw with his right arm and follows it with a low blow. Andrey runs a few steps away from the door and takes the boxing stance.
Zolkin walking straight towards Andrey
— Take this!
— Suck on it!
And he deals Zolkin a boxing «postie’ blow on the chin, two blows with his left arm and a finisher with his right arm. However strong Zolkin is, the last blow slows him down.
Zolkin steps back and stops. His initial attack is bogged down. He begins to hit isolated direct blows with his right and left arms, but he is not getting anywhere, so he begins to deal side blows aiming at Andrey’s temple, but these fail as well. Andrey puts his elbows to override Zolkin’s side blows.
Angry Zolkin begins to quickly kick Andrey’s legs. Andrey does the same, but then he quickly changes his mind and steps back.
— Shit, is there is anything else you want from me other than killing me? You broke my jaw there, by the door.
— I will hand you in to the police, pay them fifty thousand and they’ll be kicking your ass all night long. I’ll hand you in to the Chechens. FSB will bring you to my mansion in Zhukovka. I can deal with a knife like a butcher, I will cut you into pieces. You don’t know who I am, I’ll kill you and raze you to the ground right here and I won’t ever think about you again.
Zolkin walks towards Andrey again, Andrey steps back. Zolkin begins to calm down.
— All right, I want you to come tomorrow and learn your lesson well. Don’t bother going to the police, I don’t give a fuck about all those policemen and prosecutors.
Andrey goes to the hospital.
Doctor, examining an X-ray
— Yes, the right ridge of your jaw is broken. I am obliged to recommend you a splintage for a month. You’ll have to stay with your mouth stitched up for a month. It’s not necessary in your case though. It will heal by itself. Do you want to be admitted to hospital?
— Well, since it’s not necessary, I guess I won’t.
Andrey goes home to his apartment where his girlfriend Vika meets him.
— I got my jaw broken at work.
— Poor thing, now what? What are you gonna do now?
— Nothing, I’ll get some rest. Let’s go to a swing club tomorrow. We wanted to have fun for a long time, now we’ll have plenty of time.
Big Moscow swing club «Adam & Eve’. «Why not’ plate at the entrance.
Andrey and Vika are at the entrance of the club.
Andrey tells Vika
Indeed, why not?
Andrey calls the bell, a security guard wearing a black suit opens the door.
— Signed in?
— Yes, we are number sixteen.
— Andrey and Vika
— Anything illegal on you?
Andrey with an incisive smile
— No, how about you?
The security guy inspects Andrey, goes through Vika’s body and sends them to the pay office.
— Is this your first time here?
— Not really, we’ve been here a couple of times.
— So, you know the rules; our guests chill out in their underwear. Get slippers and sheets at the cloakroom, hand in your valuables there as well. It’ll be one thousand rubles.
— All right, there you go, — he fishes a thousand rubles out of his wallet and gives it to the cashier.
Andrey and Vika strip down to their underwear and take the staircase to the club’s second floor. The staircase is decorated with sexy pictures. Andrey and Vika walk into a half-dark hall on the club’s second floor with half-naked people sitting at the tables and drinking champagne.
At the hall’s entrance, there is a bar with light free snacks served: olives, chocolates and tea.
Andrey pours himself some tea, while Vika orders a mojito from a waitress in sexy clothes. There is music all around, the lighting in the hall is subdued. Half-naked ladies wearing sluttish clothes make Andrey dizzy. DJ plays trendy records, the loud sound fills up the space. Easy harlotry is in the air: TV shows porn, in the center of the hall, there are three shameless girls petting each other’s pussies surrounded by the guys who have their eyes glued on this improvised show.
Of course, the girls play it a little to the audience, to the men surrounding them and feasting their eyes on this erotic show.
Closer to the midnight, two strippers appear; they stroke visitors every now and then or draw someone onto the stage. They are followed by a black male stripper with his hot performance. He goes round the girls in the hall and picks up his victim. He brings the lucky one onto the stage, caresses her thighs and lets her stroke his ass. Sometimes he threatens to show his dick, but he never does. After the striptease, the music subsides and Ruslan, a beat-up host of swing parties, walks into the room rocking happily.
— All right, my lovely people, I am happy to see our old-timers and even happier to see new faces. Put your hand up if this is your first time at our club. — This is how Ruslan attracts people to all kinds of contests.
A few people raise their hands reluctantly.
Vika says to Andrey, red with fright
— Please don’t call me…
— But it’s just a contest. Come one, show yourself to the world, you, red-haired tramp.
Andrey firmly grabs Vika by the hand and they take to the stage.
The task that Ruslan gives is to undress each other with a French kiss. Even though Vika is a little shy, Andrey and Vika take part in the competition. The audience supports Andrey and Vika and their competitors equally.
This is why Ruslan decides that it’s a draw. After the fight is over, the former competitors hug and kiss. When the contests are done and Ruslan leaves, couples occupy rooms.
Andrey and Vika walk the club like an erotic museum and peep into the rooms where couples are having sex. There are so many things you can see in a swing club: a lady satisfying three guys at once with all her holes, lesbian sex and simple couple swapping.
Andrey likes the woman who was on stage with him, but he is too shy to do something, just like Vika. He and Vika fence themselves off with red satin curtains in a dark room and fuck. A pervert peeps in a crack between the curtains. After the fuck, Andrey and Vika go to a sauna in the club’s basement to have a warm. After the sauna, Vika and Andrey dive and splash around in a cold pool.
At about two o’clock, pole striptease begins in the chill-out area and most visitors come to see the show. During the show, many of them keep on petting each other, there is a threesome in the same hall behind a curtain. There is a young couple sitting next to Andrey and Vika; the guy is not shy to constantly eat his girlfriend’s pussy. Later on, when we went down to one of the rooms, we found them spread out on the bed, the guy’s head still between her legs. Andrey and Vika lied next to them. Andrey began to pet and kiss Vika, the pretty stranger started to caress red-haired Vika’s boobs with her hand, their lips met.
Andrey put his dick into Vika and started to caress stranger’s breasts and belly. The stranger reached out for Andrey and started to delicately stroke his balls. Unable to resist the temptation, Andrey put his dick in her mouth. Andrey was overwhelmed with an unusually warm ecstatic wave and he suggested that we swap partners. And so, we put condoms on and bent our girls over.
Having relaxed completely, Andrey and Vika went into the corridor. There is a deafening yell coming from the room next door.
Andrey to Vika
— Wow, they killed someone!
Andrey and Vika rush back home through night Moscow. Vika is napping, Andrey admires empty and quiet Moscow. The sleeping city gives you energy; by day, it takes it away. Once home, Andrey nearly rapes exhausted Vika.
A couple of months later. Andrey visits the prosecutor’s office.
Andrey to the prosecutor
— My criminal case hasn’t been investigated for a few months, cops don’t want to do anything.
— Well, yes, what did you expect? I mean, you are perfectly fine, alive and kicking.
— Right, but they almost killed me. If I wasn’t physically fit, they’d definitely kill me.
— So, what do you want? Tell me, did anyone hurt you?
— Or maybe someone paid you?
During their next visit to «Adam & Eve’, Andrey and Vika meet the couple of Vadim and Irina.
— Have you been here before?
— No, we haven’t, but I’d like to find a couple of soul mates for regular hangouts.
Vadim is attracted by Vika, he eyes her with admiration he cannot hide.
— It’s all right if it’s your first time. Even though swing is not for everyone, it makes me stronger. There is nothing you are afraid to lose and it makes you more composed and confident. How about celebrating our encounter with a friendly fuck?
The couples go to a joy room; there are a few couples having sex there.
I begin to caress Irina, while Vadim is busy with Vika. While we were having sex, a group of two guys and three girls entered the room. The girls were giggling; one could tell it was their first time at the club.
— Can I join you? — one of the guys asked.
— I don’t care. We have to ask Irina
Irina did not reply and the guy walked by Andrey and Irina and put his dick into Irina’s mouth.
Irina somehow overdid it that night trying hard to impress Vadim with her open-mindedness. It made her hysterical at the end of the evening; she was crying and losing sale hard. That night, she tried threesome with two men, sex with Vika and even double penetration as if a demon possessed that girl.
At the end of the party, Irina’s jealousy of Vika suddenly took over all other emotions and Irina broke into tears.
Irina, addressing Vadim
— You don’t love me!
Scene in the courtroom.
— Police and prosecutor’s office don’t bother investigating my criminal case because Zolkin, according to his version, has a kinky connection with them.
The judge reading the ruling
— Dismiss the claimant’s petition to rule illegal the actions of police officers and prosecutor’s office with regard to the criminal case investigation and performance of supervising functions.
Scene at home.
Andrey to Vika
— They dismissed my claims. It’s all useless, my case is very common, nobody will deal with it. Let’s visit the «Ark’ club for a change. It’s on a ship called «Master’. They throw parties on the ship’s deck and then the willing ones hide away in little cabins. Parties are hosted by a cute drag queen named Sveta.
Scene on board.
Drag queen Sveta invites us to participate in a competition.
Drag queen Sveta
— So, we have two couples. Please introduce yourselves.
The couples introduce themselves: Andrey and Vika, Mikhail and Yulia. The audience cheers them.
Drag queen Sveta
— Our first competition is the couple dance. We will determine the winner by the audience’s applause.
There is music from the «Pulp Fiction’ movie: Chuck Berry — You Never Can Tell.
The couples dance cheerful rock-n-roll. Andrey’s hands play all over Vika’s body, shamefully exposing her strong young thighs and breasts. The second couple dance for all their worth trying hard to catch up.
Drag queen Sveta
— Yippee! The audience gives equal applause, so here comes a second contest. Each of the men has to name five parts of the body that his girlfriend loves the most. So, the girls will write me a note with their five favorite parts keeping it secret from their partners and the men will have to guess. The girls will help them with gestures and movements. Showing with hands is forbidden.
Our first contestants are Andrey and Viktoria.
Nice music is playing softly. Vika puts her lips as if giving a kiss.
— It’s her sluttish lips that have had so many hot kisses and that she uses to caress her lovers’ dicks.
Drag queen Sveta
Music is playing again. Vika swings her head, her flaming red hair flutters.
— It’s her amazing hair that she was supposed to wash my feet with, but never did for some reason, — Andrey says with a tint of insult in his voice.
Drag queen Sveta
— Another hit!
Vika rocks her butt to the music.
— Oh, it’s her heavenly white butt. You have to see this masterpiece. — I come up to Vika and expose her buns. The audience gives excited applause.
Music keeps on playing, Vika dances and darts glances.
— It’s her stunning eyes glaring with alcohol and desire. They have ruined so many men!
Vika sits and moves her thighs to the music. She gives a little groan and stares between her legs.
— It’s her cunt, her sanctuary. Those who have been in her paradise know exactly what I’m talking about.
Second scene in the courtroom.
Andrey enters the district court building. At the court office, a girl hands in the court ruling to Andrey.
— You must have the ruling signed by the federal judge on duty on the fourth floor.
Andrey goes to the fourth floor.
The office of the judge on duty is locked and Andrey approaches her assistant — a good-looking girl.
— Could you please help me sign my papers?
The assistant gave him a sly smile and called the judge on the phone even though their offices were one meter from one another.
— Yes, I’ll be right there.
When the assistant entered the judge’s office, the door behind her was quickly locked.
Andrey, whispering to himself
— Well… Nice weekend the judge has.
Here, another nice guy joined him in waiting for the judge.
Andrey knocked twice loudly on the judge’s door. A dishevelled drunk woman jumped out from behind the door.
Judge — the drunk woman
— What the hell do you want?! Do you know who you mess around with, motherfucker? I’ll make you rot in an isolation ward.
— People with a special status of a judge are not supposed to behave like that.
The judge gave me a baleful look and went away.
Five minutes later, two ushers with handcuffs appeared. The first on their way was a nice guy who was waiting for the judge together with Andrey. The usher asked him rudely
— Are you the one who tried to break open the door here?
Andrey flew to his help not to frame a random guy
— It was me who knocked.
The judge’s door opened and the judge said
— It was him who tried to break open the door, he threatened me!
Andrey, whispering to himself
— They’ll trump up an attempted rape.
— Get your stuff, we’ll make a protocol.
Andrey goes down the staircase with the ushers to their office.
The guy tried to somehow help Andrey once again, he shouted to the ushers
— He only knocked.
— We’ll sort it out, you can go.
The ushers in the office dutifully set upon the interrogation.
— You know, we will hand you in to the cops and they will put you in an isolation ward.
I am nearly forty-five, I was married, so trying to scare me with an isolation ward is an innocent childish game. There is a press card in my bag, do you think I will be allowed to ask the chief of the court to comment on my case later on?
— Show us your press card
The ushers examining the card gradually started to tone down the interrogation.
— I can see that you are a good man, here, you have a daughter, so we won’t make a protocol.
— Thank you, because I was already thinking that you’d put me in jail for an attempted rape of a federal judge. I guess they’d have some respect for this in the isolation ward, although the article is disgraceful.
Vika walking in a park.
Dmitry comes up to Vika
— Good morning. Have a nice beginning of a work week if that’s the case. Anyways, I wish you high spirits and the sun above your head, at least until the weekend. I actually wanted to get with you with my best and most sincere intentions.
— Hi. Let me first sort out my relationship… I have a good friend. I don’t want to lie to him.
— Well, he’s not your husband, just a friend.
— Well, I sleep with him. He’s already more than a friend.
— Shit. Well, I’m definitely better, you can sleep with me. I’m honestly better and I will prove it.
— Did you gang up?
— I didn’t gang up. I’m on my own.
— So, I should sleep with him and with you?
I guess you are fine with this option.
— No, I am better. I am smarter. More knowledgeable. And simply better. And I’m 101% better in bed, you don’t even have to think or try or have a test drive. And, although it drives me crazy, as a true gentleman, I’d better take you out for a walk and to the theatre first.
— You are so self-confident.
— But I’d still better fuck you, I guess. Have a nice day, little girl.
— Is that all, just bye?
— That’s it, if you are happy with your life, I wish you the best of luck and happiness.
— Well, everything changes!
Dmitry invites Vika to a café.
Conversation after visiting the café.
— I’m not used to paying for my friends during our first meeting. I’ll pay for a girl, I guess, but not for friends. An acquaintance of mine used to say «sometimes you have to invest in a girl as much as you want to have back». I cannot even take your hand, you see, what a jerk I am. It’s easier with me, if that makes things simpler for you, Vika.
Conversation between Dmitry and Vika after a bedroom scene.
— Still, I feel good with you and I want more with you on top. Sorry if I wasn’t rude enough.
— Where did you put the condom?
— I threw it away.
— Hum… Well done.
— I hope you liked it more or less.
— Do you always use condoms?
— No. That sucks, to be honest,) Only with the ones I am confident in. I am always confident in myself. I prefer the natural way.
— I get it, but I prefer a condom. I don’t want no little accidents.
— Ah, well, all right… Do you think I’m an idiot? I always control myself.
And I hope that you are not very disappointed.
Viktoria, as for this, you don’t have to worry when you are with me. Just enjoy it.
— Ugh… All right. Because I do worry.
— No, you shouldn’t, honestly. Besides, I took it out half a second before I finished this act. So, don’t worry. But from now on, if you want to repeat this, I will be inside you till the end. Why so? Because I want you to trust me and enjoy it to the maximum, so.