электронная
200
печатная A5
510
18+
NGOSUKU

Бесплатный фрагмент - NGOSUKU

Iqiniso elihlekisayo

Объем:
266 стр.
Возрастное ограничение:
18+
ISBN:
978-5-0050-9519-0
электронная
от 200
печатная A5
от 510

18+

Книга предназначена
для читателей старше 18 лет

ISIQALO SOKUQALA

inothi 1

unkulunkulu ushaye ikhwela

Ngemuva kokubhalela umama wami ukuthi: «Woza lard, sawubona mama!», Ngangena indlela ehostela lami elifundayo ngacabanga:

— Uyini umehluko phakathi kwabantu baseRussia nabaseMelika nabaseYurophu?

— Futhi ngeqiniso lokuthi baphila futhi bacabanga ngokunengqondo, asikwazi. -Ngiziphendulile ngaqhubeka. Bengifuna ukuphuza — ngokwesabisa nokuluma. Ngiyahamba, ngakho-ke sengidlula kulo i-alley ngiye ebangeni kocingo oluboshwe ngokhonkolo lwebhizinisi elithile lezimboni. Ngibona sekuqala ukubamnyama. Ngizwa ukuthi ngakolunye uhlangothi kocingo othile wenza ethule, kodwa angabhoboze, angakwazi ukushaya ikhwela. Ngaphendula ngokufanayo. Ngibona ukuthi isikhwama samazambane siphuma kokuthile ngakolunye uhlangothi kocingo, sigxishwe okuthile nami. Ngasikhonkotha, isikhwama sathinta ukuphuma kwenja yohlobo olungaziwa, yahamba isikhathi ngaphambi kwami. Ngakhuphuka ngaya kuye, ngamhlolela ngobuhlakani, futhi, ngingasoli noma ngicabanga nganoma yini, ngamthukulula, futhi lapho …, lapho?! Lapho, wayegcwele, ecindezelwe nangososi ababhemayo. Ngaphandle kokucabanga ngalutho, ngakhipha esisodwa, ngabamba isikhwama nge-apula ka-Adamu futhi, ngasiphonsa emahlombe ami, ngashesha ngejubane le-Ferrari ngasehostela lami, ngadla leyo nduku engalibaleki ngasendleleni.

Ngokushesha ngafuna ukutadisha nokuphila.

Kwenzekeni-ke?! Kuzya. U-Lee: ungumhlophe, ungumuntu ophonsa izimbiza zamazambane, futhi ungowokuzalwa eSytytykkar, weza kumngani wakhe futhi wabambisana naye: ongowokuzalwa e-Aldyrbaguy gorge, ipulazi elithi «Nginike ukudla», iqhaza lakhe engilidlalile ekudingisweni futhi alikhulumi isiRussia.

— Siphi isikhwama? Kubuza u-Kuzya.

— Futhi wamphonsa? — IsiHeberu saphendula umlingani wombuzo.

— Futhi ushaye ikhwela?

— Nawe..??

Bese kuza impi eyisimungulu. Kepha ngokweqiniso, umvimba wawumunca-ubonda futhi unambitha…

P.S: Sithengise phansi isikhwama emndenini futhi sagcwala ulwandle olwalubhukuda futhi ubuwula… Iseshini yanikezwa i-bang…

inothi 2

Ukudlalwa kwengulube

Ngolunye usuku, ngokunganikezeli esimisweni, bangingenisa ezinhlwini zamasosha ahlomile eSoviet Union, okungukuthi, ebuthweni lezempi. Lapho, ngenyanga, ngikhohlwe konke engangikufunda ezikhungweni zokunakekela izingane, enkulisa, esikoleni esiphakeme nasezikoleni ezimbili zomsebenzi ezinenombolo: izinkulungwane eziyisikhombisa namakhulu ayisishiyagalombili namakhulu ayisishiyagalombili namashumi amane nantathu amaphuzu angamashumi amabili nane, okwakungakwesobunxele kwendlela ukusuka eblukhwebeni kuya endaweni yezimpandla, lapho esitimeleni.

Simile, ngakho-ke cishe sisemsebenzini ekungeneni kwebutho lamasosha futhi sibheme ugwayi emnyango. Kwabe sekuba nenkinga ezweni lethu elingaphumeleli. Isikhathi besinzima, ngibhema amaphakethe amathathu ngenyanga. Futhi ingxenye yethu iseduze kwepulazi elihlanganisiwe «iBull udder» futhi lokhu kuyiqiniso. Ngakho-ke simi futhi sibheme, futhi uBaba Yaga ukhishwa ngemuva kwesihlahla. Kuliqiniso, ibizo lakhe bekunguJadwiga. Kahle. — siyacabanga, — iphupho elidala futhi, yize kunjalo, siphupha ngamakhasi anamajikijolo amajikijolo. Futhi uyakhala, ephazamisa imicabango yethu. Uyisithulu futhi uyimpumputhe.

— Hhay, masosha, phendula, www?!

— B, siwula, yini oyikhulumayo, endala? Sikude ngamasentimitha ayisishiyagalombili kuwe?! Ngemuva kocingo!!

— Njani?

— Bes! — kuphendule isikhulu somsebenzi. — Ngabe udinga, uthini, noma uye ku-carrot chop?

— Mina, kusho ugogo omdala kakhulu. — udinga ukuya kuthengiswa, — futhi wamomotheka, — ingulube encane, iBoryusenka. Ngizofaka ukukhanya kwelanga etafuleni, uze unginike lona.

— Unani manje? Ngabuza, indoda ebona izingulube kuphela e-zoo, kodwa ngasizathu simbe ibizwa ngokuthi yimvubu.

— Njani?

— Dras!! Yini lelethele wena?? Ngaphinda ngezwi.

— Ngizokunikeza ingulube … — ngaphandle kokuzwa noma ukungawuqondi umbuzo wami, endala yaphendula.

— Yena, endleleni, undiza obudla izindwani.. — Ngiphakamisa, phambi komngane wami.

— Futhi uhlala kuphi? — ubuze umngani

— Futhi ufike edolobhaneni ubuze uYadu, imigwaqo yethu iyisimungulu.

— Yini? I-Arsenic, noma ini? Ngamemeza endlebeni yakhe, ngathi umbhobho.

— Cha, sithandwa sami! Hehe.. Buza uYad Vigu!!

— Futhi izofika nini? — kubuza umlingani.

— Futhi ngempelasonto, ntambama! Ngeke nje ngimphathise ukudla. — kuphendule ugogo ahambe ayoqoqa amahlahla aluhlaza okotshani.

Ukuqeda, ngabuza uzakwethu.

— Comrade, ubulele izingulube?

— Impela. Bengihlala edorobheni elihlangene.

ISonto selifikile. Sibalekele kwi-AWOL enqamula ekhoneni elikude kocingo. Safika kuleli dolobhana ngaphandle kwezinkinga futhi kwakungekho nzima ukuthi simthole endlini yakhe, ikakhulukazi njengoba kwakukhona izindlu ezinhlanu kuphela edolobhaneni, kanye nehostela elinabasebenzi bokufika. Woza kusho kuye. Futhi yena ne-breadcrumbs, nosawoti, ngisho ne-goofer yatholakala. Sasidla ukudla okungokwemvelo futhi saphuza okunye.

— Hheyi, mfazi omdala? — Umlingani uqale. — iphi ingulube?

— Yebo, ingulube, ethandekayo esigangeni. waphendula wangena egumbini. Ukhipha isigaxa semitha. Kwenzeka futhi kudonsa inkemba yangekhulu lesihlanu leminyaka, ngokusobala kusukela eminyakeni yobudala. Ukugqwala, ukugqwala nesibambo esigoqiwe ngentambo kagesi.

— Lapha, madodana, lo nguJoseph wami ongasekho, emuva eMpini Yezwe I Grant. Lapho efektri yenyama, wayehlala futhi asike wonke umuntu: ngisho nezinkomo nenkukhu.

Ngazizwa ngingakhululekile ebuka uStakhanovsky, ukubukeka kwakhe obala. Umngani uthathe ummese ezandleni zomphathi kabi..

— Woza, ungitshele. — Kutholakalaphi, A?

Usiguqula esibayeni.

— Lapho, — uthi, — - Isithandwa sami uBorusenka.

Ngokweqiniso, ngibheka le Borusenka futhi amehlo ami asezindlebeni zami.

Isidumbu sakhe sidutshulwe emabhodini ngamapayipi amabili ngabathathu. Futhi kusukela ku-crevice Slots imigoqo futhi induku ilenga ngokunwebeka. Ngokusobala le yengulube i-Boryushishche isigamu sempilo futhi ayiqambi amanga.

— O, zithandwa zami, ngizoya emjondolo. — ugogo okhalayo, emboza umlomo wakhe wezinyawo ngamakhora wesikhafu. — Futhi uqaphela kakhulu nge-boryusenka. Yimina ngedwa ezihlotsheni zami. Akekho omunye, ngiyamphatha kusukela azalwa. Ngibingelele, izinkomo zami ezivuthayo. Yyyyyyy!! — Isalukazi sakhala futhi ngokushesha sayeka ukuphefumula kwesinye sehla sowaop, sashintsha izwi lakhe kusuka ku-squeaky kuya ku-bass. — Futhi ungakhohlwa, bafana, nginayo ngokuthengisa…

— Konke kuzobe kumemeza, ugogo!!! — UComrade wakhuthaza futhi waphendukela kimi. — Futhi wena, mngani wami, ngisize ngivule, vula isango.

Ngasondela ngaphenduka amandla ngaphenduka i-turntable, isango lakhula, nengulube ayizange ibuye nendlebe. Ukukhahlela. Hhayi-ke, umngani wami akazange adideke khona manjalo, nangawo onke amandla akhe, ukuthi ulinquma kanjani ingulube ngesiteketiso, wagxuma umgwaqo futhi wakhuphuka. Isidlaliso, usayizi wepuleti. Ngemuva kwemizuzwana embalwa, ingulube yavula iso lakhe lokunene, bese kwesokunxele. Ngemuva kwalokho kwalandela ukugcotshwa, kwathi «imam mam» egama linguBlwa yagxuma okhalweni lwayo inamathela ngaphandle kwesisu, imilenze yakhe ayizange ibonwe.

Ukuphikisana ngamehlo omabili e-dagger, bese iqondisa abafundi be-blond eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka ngezindlela ezihlukile, ingulube yaphenduka imbonakalo yayo. Ngemuva kokuphinda amehlo akhe ebambe isibambo sensangu, imshukumise ngesiteketiso: phezulu, phansi; phezulu, phansi, ukuqondana kokubona komlingani futhi kuklwebheke kude, kangangokuba i-corral yamane yaphenduka inqwaba yamachis. Kufafazwe umquba omusha kusuka ngaphansi kwezinyawo zakhe futhi wagcwala izimbambo zezinkukhu ezimbalwa, wazikhuhla ekhakhayini, futhi zagqolozela ukubona ukuthi kwenzekani. Umlingani wayevele egijimela engadini, edabula egcekeni lezomnotho. Ingulube enkulukazi engiyilwelayo, ibanjwa ngokushesha nomuntu okonile, isabalalisa zonke izinto eziphilayo ezazinemvume yokuhlala kule ndawo. Ugogo wanamathela ewindini, emthinta ekhaleni lakhe lokuhluza. Ngabambelela ohlangothini, ngathukile nje.

Ngemuva kokuphuma egcekeni, umlingani, eqonda endaweni ebaziwe, waqala ukunqoba indawo etshalwe engadini, eshaya izingadi ezishisiwe nezingcezwana zezingcezwana, nengulube enkulu, uBorusya, ilwa ukuyiluma esithendeni, isibambo kuphela senkemba yangekhulu leshumi nesishiyagalombili inamathela ngaphandle kwe-nickel ephazanyiswe. ukubamba okungenakuqhathaniswa. Ibanga lalifushane futhi umngani ubesevele ekhala ecela usizo futhi ephenduka kuphela, umsize ukuba akwazi ukuphuma futhi aphunyuke, okukhonjiswe yisixuku sabase-Asiatic-Gypsies kanye nababukeli-omakhelwane ababheke ngaphandle kocingo. Omama abangamaTajik nabama-jypsy badonsa izingane bopha uthango, kodwa azange bahluleke, bafuna ukubukela umuntu ophilayo owayebizwa ngokuthi: «ukuziphindiselela nokubulawa kwengulube eyinyamazana uBorusi phezu kwebutho lezempi laseRussia.» Futhi bekungaba buhlungu uma bekungeyona imfumba yesaladi yomquba ekugcineni kwengadi, kodwa kuwo kukhona ama-pitchforks anamathela okunamahlaya lapho izakhamizi zaseRussia zifihla khona utshani ezitokisini. Bababamba, ngokudelela, umlobi kanye naye, futhi ngaso leso sikhathi konke kwenzeka ngendlela ehlukile noma ngokulandelana: ingulube eyinkulukazi i-Fighting yayibaleka, futhi omunye olwa naye wamhlikihla emaceleni omhloshana, ngokusho kwesiqu, futhi ngokushesha nangobuhlakani, ngokungathi wayehlolwa ngobuchule, ayigcinanga imfoloko, kepha isibhamu seKalashnikov sokushaya, ngommese we-bayonet. Futhi ngisho nezilaleli zazisekela ngokulwa ihlombe, zincoma futhi zishaya ihlombe ngokunqoba okuzayo kwama-homo sapiens, amasosha aseRussia ajwayelekile — ngaphezu kwemvelo, axoxa ngengqondo, futhi ngenxa yalokho ingulube ayikwazanga ukumelana nokuhlasela futhi yawa yafa, phambi komnyango wendlu, ngasesifundeni lapho kwakukhona khona ubugagu. ebambe isikhafu ngesandla esisodwa futhi ephonsa owesibili ngemuva komhlane wakhe ophansi, ugogo ongumfundisi we-Yad-Vig. I-comrade yenza okokugcina emzimbeni wesidumbu sengulube ne-pitchfork, yahlaba isidumbu sesilwane esingaphili, yagwilika njengesixha se-bass ephindwe kabili, i-ratter.

— Kulungile, ugogo nomlingani wami uSpartak waqala ubuqhawe. — uqedile, uthele bese usetha itafula!!!

Ugogo wadonsa iphini elaliqhamuka ngemuva kwakhe, eligoqa inhlama yokulahlwa kanye ne-pizza, kwathi ngumbethe wamgwaza ngaphesheya kwesigebhezi. Kwakunokukhala okukhonkotha, futhi sobabili sabaleka samshiya. Ubuye ngamatshe angama-cobblestones, ama-kilos ayishumi kuya kwayisihlanu, asiphonsa. Futhi bonke ababukeli badlulela ngakuye bazimisele ukusiphatha, kepha abazange babhekane, kepha emuva kwamatshe kulimele. Ugogo uYad-Vig, wabe esebhala isikhalazo kumphathi wenhlangano, abanginikeza khona izinsuku eziyishumi, nomlingani — bashaya amakhala ngesihluku seminyaka emibili, lapho aqala khona ukukhala izinsimbi, ahlanzwa umdweshu endaweni yezikhumba yasendaweni, ngesandla…

inothi 3

Ukubhula ngamathoyilethi

Kwakunjengalokhu: ngemuva kwesiteshi sika-metro somphathi omkhulu, uSanta kanye no-Sashka nje, endaweni yemfenqo ye-alimony eyingozi, kwakukhona ithoyilethi le-bio lamadokodo amathathu axhunywe ngeketanga elilodwa, elalinenkinga yenjongo eyodwa, amabili awo asebenza njengethoyilethi elisebenza, lapho izakhamizi zaseSt. Petersburg, kwathi elesithathu kwakuyihhovisi lika-opharetha kanye ne-cashier, kumuntu oyedwa owayeqoqa imali yokwenza umsebenzi wokunikeza iqoqo le-shit.

Abantu bemi emgqeni, bephelelwa yisikhathi belindele zonke izindawo zokuqala. Futhi esikhathini sokuvakasha phakathi kwabavakashi, ngayihlawulela imali, ngathengisela yena umamkhulu imali, othatha isikhundla sokuba ngumphathi kanye nomgcini walezi zindlu zangasese ze-bio, uClaudia Filippovna Undershram, ifa iLeningrad esizukulwaneni sesihlanu. Akavumanga ukunqotshwa ukunqotshwa kwami kobugebengu obukhulu, ngifuna ukuqaphela ukuthi angizange ngiveze umbono wami ngaleso sikhathi, futhi ngakhuluma naye. Kepha umphumela waba ebusweni. Ubuso baphindwe kabili. Kwakunjalo, ngandlela thile, kusihlwa. Futhi abantu sebephungile ngobuningi. Mina, ngingacabangi ngamandla omzimba womamekazi wami, nginqume ukusiphonsa kancane. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngangisebenzisa ukukhululeka kokugonywa. Futhi njengoba ngingena kwi-biosort yamahhala, ngazizwa ngofana no-Aunt. Ukudla okudliwayo kungibeka ethoyilethi. Emva kwalokho ngaba nesiyezi, lapho-ke kwaxoxwa nabafokazi, futhi kwaqhubeka, ukuqhuma kwezixhumo zethala lesibeletho ezindongeni, ngomlomo wami nokulala, iphupho elimnandi ngaphandle kwamaphupho. Ngalesi sikhathi, uClaudia Filippovna Undershram waphaphama ekudakweni kotshwala, wavezwa ngomlomo owomileyo nomuzwa womphimbo, okuwukuthi womile, waphuca uketshezi okuthile futhi, ngokushesha nokwesaba ukutshona, njengesizathu sokufika sekwephuzile ekhaya. Wavuka masinyane wavala, kuvulandi, wonke amakamelo owomile nami, ngilala ngaphakathi, kubandakanya nokubaleka…

Bese kuba nobusuku obugcwele imigqumo yezinhlanga nothwala bezindlela ezihlukile zokuphila ababengakafiki esitimeleni, belele emabhentshini. Bebuka ukuqaphela, izikhulu zomthetho ezintathu ezazigqoke umfaniswano, emotweni yenkampani, zohlobo lweZhiguli ezinezinombolo eziluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka nokubhalwe ezinhlangothini ze-MILURE, amaphoyisa abengakasungulwanga eRussia, ahamba ayohamba eyohlola uhlangothi olumnyama. Ngemuva kokuqikelela ukuthi yonke into ihambisana nomthetho futhi akukho muntu ongathatha imali eyishiywe, bafake izimoto zabo zilingana, bezungeza indawo ethengiswayo, okubandakanya i-biosorti… Ababili abanezibhamu zomshini, amabatons, izicubu zegesi, amabhuzu nezigqoko baphuma baqonda ekhanda maqondana nezitolo zabathengisi base-Eshiya be- «shawarma», ezaziphethwe yizakhamizi zaseRussia Federation, ezazinezizwe ezingamaMoroccans, ezazingaqondi nhlobo isiRussia, kepha beyizakhamizi, futhi kwakusembholweni obhalwe ukuthi «GAY SHAURMA FOR PUTIN AND TRUMP». Kungani igama elinjalo lalikhona, mhlawumbe, kungenzeka ukuthi abahumushi babenamahlaya. Umshayeli onesibhamu, wayehlala emotweni e-helm futhi ngokuzumayo?!

Mina, umuntu okugcina umthetho ongeyena isakhamuzi seRussian Federation, ngingumRussia ngokobuzwe. Sivela e-USSR, eRiphabhlikhi yaseKazakhstan, lapho bangishaya khona bonke ubuntwana bami ngoba ngangingamaRussia kuphela. Kodwa-ke, lapho ngikhula, sengivele ngabashaya. Kepha le yindaba ehlukile, futhi manje sibuyele ecebeni: Mina, umuntu ongeyena isakhamuzi esithobela umthetho waseRussian Federation, ngesizwe — isiRussia, umuntu ogwetshiwe ohlonishwayo, ophambili weFSB, impesheni, umuntu okhubazekile nakho konke lokhu ngokuhlangana, ikakhulukazi njengoba ngangikwazi konke lokhu ngingekho, lapho ayengazange khona, wavele wavuka engxenyeni ekhathazayo evela edokodweni elingumakhelwane futhi, ukuba ngicace kakhudlwana, ngangizwa ikamelo elivaliwe, ebusuku, igumbi lesikwele elizungeze kimi, nophahla ngaphezulu. Ngakuzwa konke futhi angikhumbuli noma angiqondi ukuthi ngikuphi?! Izindonga zazichoboza umqondo wami kanjalo. Nginqume ukungena «esiteji esincane», lapho bengihleli ngaphambili, futhi umlenze wami wawela emgodini, ngakho konke kufana ne-bay. Ngakhala ngaze ngaphaphama, ngigqolozela isigqi, ngaphupha ngendodakazi ejwayelekile, i-comrade sergeant, kanye nomshayeli wesikhashana. Wayethukile futhi ekhanyise okomdlwembe, echoboza isifuba sakhe, kodwa ngaso leso sikhathi wasithokozela leso simo, kodwa akakholelwa ku-ghost. Mina, ngingenakhono, ngaqalekiswa ngicela usizo, ngizama ukugqekeza okungenani umgodi othile odongeni oluzungezile, kodwa umsebenzi wami wawungenamsebenzi, futhi ukuhlwitha akubanga.

Ngaleso sikhathi, ngakolunye uhlangothi lwendlu yangasese, omunye umshayeli wenqola yamaphoyisa, lo msolwa wayevele esefonele ukuthi kuqinisekiswe, futhi ababili, bengalindele ukuthi ukudla kwase-Arabhu kusuka enhlama nasenkukhu, amakati nezinja ezithengwe ngeze, bebevele begijimela ukusiza umlingani naye.

Ngezwa amazwi ngaphesheya kwedokodo, kodwa lokho akuzange kusize ekunciphiseni ikhanda le-hangover.

— Ubani olapha? — omunye wabo wabuza.

— Ngilapha, futhi ungubani? Ngibuze.

— Mina? manje uyazi…

— Hlukana nenqaba!! — Ngibuze enye futhi kwakungekho nzima ukwenza lokhu ngesigaxa sesibhamu sokushaya. Umnyango uvulekile. Phambi kwami kwakumi izingane ezintathu ezimangele, eyodwa, ngasendleleni, zinqamleze umfaniswano, zifana neyodwa iphoyisa. Ngemuva kwalokho bangiyisa esiteshini samaphoyisa esiseduze, futhi ithoyilethi lokufuya alizange linciphe.

Unogada wacabanga isikhathi eside ukuthi angasichaza kanjani isizathu sokuboshwa kwakhe emsebenzini lowo mbiko. Futhi kushiwo kanjena:

«Uboshiwe, ngesikhathi uzama ukuphanga okuqukethwe kwendlu yangasese ye-bio kusuka ngaphakathi, ecashe ngobulungiswa nge-padlock, ngaphandle.»

Wonke umuntu wayezijabulisa, ikakhulukazi selokhu lo mboshwa wangaphambilini, owayephoqelelwa ukuba ahlanze ihhovisi elithile, wazama ukubaleka futhi wabambeka phezulu phakathi kwesihlalo sefestile sewindows nezimbambo ezivikelekile zekhulu leshumi nesishiyagalombili lokudala ithenisi. Abacimi bomlilo babizwa, ngokunembile, abacimi bomlilo, futhi abacimi bomlilo yilabo abawucisha umlilo. Ngeshwa, uMnyango Wezimo Eziphuthumayo wawungakasungulwa. Labo bambuza:

— Yini enamathela kuyo?

— I-Pubic namaqanda!! kuphendula izinyembezi emehlweni akhe. Wabuye wasindiswa futhi wathunyelwa ukuba ahlanze i-outhouse, eyayingenawindi. Ngokuphikisana nalokho, ngakuphika ukuthi ngizoqeda impilo yami uma beqhubeka nokuphula amalungelo ami omthethosisekelo futhi bangiphoqa ukuthi ngihlanze imishini yabo endlini. Bahleka uMthethosisekelo futhi bathatha indawo yesijeziso sami ngokungishaya ezinsoni, okwathi ngemuva kwalokho ngaqala ukufuqa ebusuku, ekuqaleni ngegazi ngibe nosawoti. Kepha indlu yangasese ayigezanga!! Futhi mina, ngehora, ngalima izinkathi zobusuku baseNevsky Prospect, ngifuna impilo…

inothi 4

UMethodius

Isiphetho sangiletha okwesikhashana edolobheni iqhawe. ISt. Petersburg, ehostela losizo, imane yabiza abantu njengomuntu ongenakhaya. Banginikeza i-shkonar, okuwukuthi, umbhede, engawushaya isigamu senyanga kusuka kubaphathi bezidakwa bendawo, befaka abayishumi nanhlanu esibhedlela ngaphambi kokungishiya kwami. Ama-Trophies ayematilasi. Ngiqoqe ayisishiyagalolunye kuyo. Ngababeka elinye ngaphezulu kwesinye futhi ngalala cishe ophahleni. Kwakukhona ezinye iziphazamiso: ukuthopha phansi kwakuyimpicabadala kakhulu, futhi ngangincika esitebhisini sokhuni. Impilo yathatha inkambo yayo ejwayelekile: Ekuseni — kusihlwa, kwasemini — endlini yangasese, njalo njalo. Bangikhokhela mina nomngani wami engihlala naye uLyokha Lysy, owayesephothule izifundo ezimbili eziphakeme kuleyo ndawo iminyaka eyishumi nanhlanu, ngesimo esizolile sesitezi sethu sesibili. Wayengafani ngokubona futhi wayeneshumi nesishiyagalombili kobomvu ngamazwi akhe. Futhi njengoba kwakunzima ukuthola izibuko ezinamehlo anjalo, wazigoqa kokutholakala, ngokungeza, ozimele ezintathu ezinezingilazi futhi wazixhuma ngocingo lwethusi. Ngakho-ke wazuza umbono wamaphesenti ayikhulu. Futhi ngaqala ukumhlonipha ngesithunzi amahlaya anamehlo ayisishiyagalombili. Sasihlala naye emndenini, njengakule ndawo, ngamafuphi, sasinezimpande futhi sabelana ngesinkwa ngokubhaka, noma kunjalo, ngasizathu simbe wanginikeza iqhebe elikhudlwana, wangihlonipha noma wangondla izikhathi zokulinda zokuphila ukuze ngandise impilo yami ngokufaka inyama yami. Njalo ekuseni mina, ngivuka, ngithola etafuleni lami ukudla okwenzeka usuku lonke noma ngaphezulu. Abantu asebekhulile kanye nezakhamizi zakwezinye ubudala, bonke abahlala ezindaweni ezingekho kude kangako futhi abemfishane kakhulu: omncane kunabo bonke wayeneminyaka eyishumi nanhlanu, ngokuzithandela wabelana nathi izabelo zabo, ezitholwa ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene zobusela obuncane nokunikezwa kwezingxenye ezicebile zabantu, okubizwa ngokuthi yikhaya. Ngangihlala ngiphikiswa futhi ngibuyisa lokhu emuva, ngakho-ke babekhokha intela lapho ngilele. Onempandla wakujabulela lokhu ukunakwa futhi waqala nokudla amanoni.

Ngolunye usuku ekuseni ngineqhwa. Isithwathwa sasiwela ngaphandle kwewindi. Ukuvuka njengenjwayelo bekungamavilapha, futhi bezingekho izinhlelo zokuthenga imali, ikakhulukazi kusukela izolo, ikhanda lami labe selimile. Indoda eyimpandla, njengenjwayelo, ifunda okuthile engqondweni yayo, ihamba kuphela ngezindebe eziphansi. Futhi konke lokhu bekuyoqhubeka, ukube bekungekho ngokubonakala kwendoda endala yamashumi ayisikhombisa ubudala i-cormorant-recidivist, itilosi, ibanga elide, umphenyi kanye noMethodius ongenakhaya onezimpande zaseFinland. Ngifuna ukuqaphela ukuthi iziboshwa zivame ukuxhumana nezinhlangano, njengakulesi simo. Futhi wayekhuluma kakhulu ngeCaucasus kunokukhuluma ngendlela yaseFinland.

— Hawu, izinambuzane, sinokopha? waqala kusuka ehlombe. Ngaphenduka, uBald wehlisa le ncwadi. Kudlule umzuzu.

— Yini oyidingayo? — kubuza uBald wazingcwaba kwinoveli.

— Yima ubheke isiphawulo, thatha iziqhosha zegolide, okungukuthi, kimi, bese uyaphonsa. Iminyaka emine ngathola impesheni.

Ngemuva kwamazwi akhe, sekudlule imizuzu emibili futhi iqhwa elisha lashwabana ngaphansi kwezinyawo zethu. Kude kude, bekukhona isitolo esinezitezi zohlobo oluthile lwesiGeorgia. Sangena kuwo sa-oda amakhulu amabili. Nge-Methodius enziwe kahle futhi:

— AmaTatar awaphili ngaphandle kwezithandani! — Sikhishwe enye ikhulu. Okulandelayo, emva kwethosi lakudala:

— uNkulunkulu uyabuthanda ubathathu! — Sikhishwe lezi zingilazi futhi. Ngemuva kwalokho saxoxa sathula, ngamunye waba yedwa futhi uMethodius kuphela akazange athule azitshele ukuthi ikota yokuqala yamukelwa kanjani kulawa amahlanu atholakalayo. Sasingezona izilaleli ezikhululekile.

— Umkhumbi wethu weza noKyuubi. Ngaya emzaneni kamfowethu. Siphuze isonto lonke. Ngakho-ke ekuseni sahlangana kumnini-ndlu, emva kwento ebekonakele sadlula endlini lapho kwakukhona umshado. Ngabancoma, futhi bangithumelela nezincwadi ezintathu… Ngabuka lapho ngabona inqwaba yezitini ngemuva kwami, ngenkathi umfowethu ehamba eyokhanya inyanga nembazo, ngathatha onke amatshe endlini, kunenxeba, yebo, umakoti wayephambili ebunzini. Ngemuva kwalokho, waqala ukuthulisa amafasitela. Inqwaba ibingenaso isikhathi sokuphela lapho sengiboshwe iminyaka emithathu ejele. Yini enye ozoyiphuza? -uqedile waya kwikhawunta yempahla yabathengi.

Siphuze kakhulu futhi isikhathi eside, ngibe nokudla okulula. Kusihlwa, uphahla lukaLysy lwaludilikile futhi waqala wagijimela kwabanye. Ngabheka lesi sifundo se-bespontovoe futhi ngasiholela isidekick esidakwayo endlini. Futhi uMethodius ngalesi sikhathi, wayesamukele kuLysy, ngamathuba noma cha, ngaphansi kwamehlo akhe, wayethule phezu kwetafula, emi phansi.

Ekuseni ngivuswe ngumsindo oshubile kanye nokuxokozela kukaBald. Kwavela ukuthi ngesikhathi elele, uMethodius owayethukuthele wabaleka wangena egumbini elinesixakaxaka futhi washaya uLyokha owayelele nge-crutch ngqo ebunzini lakhe. Agxume embhedeni awele phansi, asukume ephethe umucu amhlabe ngawo kwakudala. Ngibe sengikhumbula ngidlula nje, kwaba nokulwa, baze bahlukana. Kwavela ukuthi lapho ngisusa uLysy endaweni yokucima ukoma, uMethodius waphelelwa amandla. Waphonswa ngaphandle ngokwesiko emgwaqweni ngaphambi kokuvalwa, futhi wakhasa ekhaya, encike emvelweni wakhe.

— Ungiphonsa, Bald!! -Ukhonjwe njengegramophone futhi uyeka ukugqekeza futhi uyisikhulu, umkhulu, usevele ulele phansi, umhlane wakhe phansi.

— Kanjani? — ebuza, ethinta umphimbo kaMethodius futhi ehleli njengengulube, uBald enamathambo akhe ezandla zakhe.

Ngaleso sikhathi, i-cormorant yakudala, izama ukukhamba iphuma ngaphansi komfundi oleminyaka ephakathi nendawo, isuse izindlebe zayo zesobunxele ikhiphe iplamu ekhaleni lakhe. Indoda eyimpandla yaphendula ngaphandle kokukhulula izandla zayo, imshaye ekhanda ekhanda.

— Kuhle, ngomusa. — Ngazama ukuzola abo cormorant abo abasha, ngiqonde. — Hheyi, bantu abangenamakhaya, bachitha emibhedeni. Ake ungitshele, Methodius, yini eyaqala ukubhuza?

— Me!! -ngavumi ukuhamba noBald, umkhulu waqala ukuzithethelela. — Ngilala, ngandlela thize, ngizwa othile etha uthango, ngivula amehlo — iqhwa. Ngashukumisa futhi ngaqala ukusukuma. Ngiyajika, futhi phambi kwami kukhona u-anti no-tram, amasentimitha ayishumi ukusuka kimi. Ubusuku buyabanda, nge-hangover, futhi noLysy, izinkomo, baziphonsa, ah!! Yay!! Yay!! — kathathu wamemeza uMethodius.

— Yep!! Yep!! Yep!! — Kathathu uLysy wamshaya emehlweni.

Ngemuva kwesigamu sehora, sesivele sa-oda ama-gramu angamakhulu amabili futhi besizokucacisa ukungaqondi kwethu. Futhi ngakho inyanga yonke, ngenkathi uMethodius engazange abe mpofu. Into enhle ikhadi lasebhange. Ngokomnotho…

inothi 5

Iqhwa eliphuzi

— Kwakunjalo, kulezo ezikude ngaphandle kwezikhathi zomthetho, lapho i-tundra yayingumuntu. Phakamisa umphetho we-tundra-man, isigamu sosuku, wehlise i-armpit ye-tundra-man, uhhafu wobusuku. Futhi izintwala zahlala kukho. Futhi ukubhekisisa umbono wamaphesenti ayikhulu, lezi bezingezona izintwala nakancane, kodwa ama-mammoth, amabhere amnyama, umbethe ekugcineni nezingulube. Futhi-ke wonke umuntu wabiza amaChukchi — abantu, ngoba kwakuyibo kuphela abazalwayo abahlala eTundra. Ngandlela thile indoda ye-tundra ihamba ne-armpit iphakanyisiwe futhi iyisakaze, ngenkathi amaChukchi e-yaranga asinda esivunguvungwini esibi. I-armpit yayeka ukuklwebhula i-tundra-man, futhi isiphepho sancipha. Futhi abakwaChukchi bashiye amakhaya abo e-tundra ngokushesha bambonga ngeqhwa elimhlophe elihlanzekile nomchamo wakhe ophuzi. Futhi i-tundra yafana nokuntuleka kwamavithamini emzimbeni, njengamqubuko emzimbeni. Futhi konke lokhu kwavela futhi wonke umuntu waqala ukudansa, kepha buthule izithonjana eziphuzi zaqala ukunyamalala, othile wazintshontsha futhi washiya izimbobo. Futhi-ke, uSerezha wasendaweni engenamakhaya yaseChukchi, wonke umuntu ayibiza ngokuthi «iqhwa eliphuzi,» yaqhubeka nendaba yakhe, le ndoda ye-tundra yamyalela ukuthi afune isela aligxobe aluhlaza. Onke amaChukchi angcwatshwe eqhweni futhi, ebheka, alinda futhi amangala. Kuyavela ukuthi izingane zabo zaphenduka isela, ebheka lezi zimpawu zama-cockerels, abazithengisa kwi-bazaar. Futhi njengoba ingane izelwe, bathi kuye:

— Ungadli, bastard, iqhwa eliphuzi!! -amshaye, amshaye ngaphambi kwesikhathi, ikakhulukazi ekhanda.

Sekukonke, uSerezha-Yellow Snow wayebukeka emncane, eneminyaka engamashumi amabili nesikhombisa, konke okunye kufana nokwakwaChukchi. Waya e-Central Library waqoqa amabhodlela lapho. Lakanye waqala ukunyamalala okwensuku. Wonke umuntu wayehlukile, kodwa enelukuluku lokwazi. Ngesikhathi evele, wabuzwa imibuzo. Wayethule. Kepha kwathi lapho esephuzile futhi uSerezha Yellow Snow wavuma ukuthi uzoshada kungekudala.

— Futhi kubani? — kulandelwa ngumbuzo.

— Yebo, kunengxenye eyodwa yenhliziyo yami, uhlala esifundeni, yize eseneminyaka engamashumi ayisithupha nanye, ngoba lokho akudingeki ukwenza noma yiziphi izingane, sekuvele kukhona eziyisishiyagalombili. Lapha ngiyabondla futhi ngifundise, njengoba ubaba angikhulisile, nobaba wakhe ongubaba, nobaba — ubaba, umama wakhe ngoba ubungenababa wawunjalo. — USerzzha waziqongqotha emakhaleni akhe, wakhipha imbuzi, wayibuka wayidla. — Ngiyamthanda uChupa-chups, kepha unikeza imicabango ehlakaniphile. Hhayi, kudala nje akekho owathola indlu. Wakhwela phakathi lapho, wabheka, yayikhona indawo eyanele wonke umuntu: umkakhe, kanye nami, nezingane. Kuliqiniso, lo mdala uyaxolisa, uboshwe iminyaka eyishumi nambili. Kepha ngisemncane, ngiyisiphukuphuku, kungqongqoza abangamashumi amane kuphela. Ngamfundisa, kepha akazange akholelwe isipiliyoni sami. Yebo, ihlobo lisekhona, ngakho-ke nginqume ukwenza ukulungisa i-euro endlini, sengivele ngithenge i-putty, umbala, amabhulashi. Kuliqiniso, abanye omalume bangena: «Wenzani?». — bayabuza. «Ukulungiswa». — Ngithi, kodwa ngavele ngabona ukuthi base bephuze, indlu yayivele ihlala kimi. -I-Serezha Yellow Snow yathatha i-cracker ngaphansi kombhede, yachofoza i-cockroach engazi ukuthi ingagxuma kanjani kusukela kumthengisi, yagcoba ngo-ketshezi ophuzi futhi, yayisonga, yayicima. URusk uqhekekile, kepha akazange aqhekeke. UChukchi wavula kancane amehlo akhe, ebuka i-fang ephukile enamathela ngaphandle kobuhlakani bomqhekeki.

— Ooooooo!! wabubula futhi waqala ukufudumeza izinyo lakhe ngentende yakhe…

Ihlobo selidlulile. UChukchi wafika namaFingals, ngaphandle kwamazinyo angaphambili. Ekhanda lakhe kwakukhona ugebhezi lwegazi oluhlanganisiwe.

— Yini uSeryozha, okwemuka kwendlu kugujwa, kwakumnyama, ukukhanya kuphume? — Abangenamakhaya babedlala.

— Cha, labobabekazi nabanikazi bale ndlu bafika, kodwa ngangivele ngiqedile ukulungisa, ngangifuna ukuhamba nomndeni wami. Ngakho bangishaya ngezinduku. Izinja. Ukuphela…

inothi 6

Shona, thula, ngenxa yomfondaba!!

Ilanga lalikhanya. Isibhakabhaka sasicacile futhi izimbangi zasekhaya ezingenamakhaya zihlala emagumbini okuhlala zigcobise amakhadibhodi, zifaka amanye amabhodlela, kanti ezinye zisaphaza amathini we-aluminium wama-cocktails nobhiya. Konke kuzohamba kahle, kepha kwenye yezindawo zokuhlala abafundi, kwakukhona ama-UAZ amabili anezibani zokukhanya ezihlaza okwesibhakabhaka kanti «obaba» baphume ngomnyango futhi «babanjwe izandla» owesifazane kanye nabafana ababili ababegqoke izambatho zangaphambilini, ezibizwa nge- «yolks» kubantu abavamile. Izakhamizi zakule ndawo bezingakaqondi isizathu sokuboshwa, ngoba le nhlangano ibigcwele imfucumfucu endaweni yokulahla udoti, futhi ihlanza nemigwaqo nsuku zonke. Yilowo nalowo wayenomqhumo wakhe, izandla zakhe ezazivele zijwayele, futhi lezo zazimakwe umhluzi, isikhoji nesikhwama. Lawa mathuluzi abonakala kubo njenge-talisman noma i-amulet, njengendlu noma i-cottage ekhaya. Futhi, kwenqabe, ukuthi umuntu athathe umfokazi. Konke, ukufa. IKranty. Kepha uvele kulo mthandazi phambilini ngaphambi kwalesi sigameko kanye noMadame Tumor wesine. Futhi siyahamba.

Ngosuku olwedlule. Ngakusasa ekuseni, uMadame Tumor uvuke okokuqala wanquma ukuyobonisa enye indlela, enze umsebenzi ongcono futhi ahlanze le ndawo ngenkathi wonke umuntu elele ephethwe yisivunguvungu soshukela, okungukuthi ukubhaliswa emndenini. Onke amalungu ale «genge» awazange aboshwe. Ngenxa yokungabi neyakhe, uthathe iqoqo lomunye umuntu, ngethemba lokuthi, bathi, konke okungokwakhe?! Kuyahamba, kuyashanela, kuqoqa izinkabi zikagwayi, kususe zonke izinhlobo zamaswidi weswidi futhi kungadeleli, kubheke okuthile emabhineni bese kuqoqwa udoti osakazekele emaphethelweni namathangi asendleleni. Usehlanze phansi insimu futhi ngokushesha ubona indlela ngaphesheya komgwaqo owesilisa nowesifazane bahlela ngokuqinile.

— Scandal. — UThandame Madame Tumor futhi uqhubekele phambili ekuhlanzeni insimu. Ingxabano yafuthelana futhi kwavele kwezwakala amazwi, lapho le nkosikazi ikhala ngokungazelele, ngezwi elikhulu kangangokuba kwazwakala ukuduma kwezwi. UMama Tumor waphakamisa amehlo wabona ukuthi lendoda ngendlela ebabayo ishaya intokazi izihlathini. Abantu abedlula benganaki, kepha isela elishisiwe lezinkukhu namaqanda enkukhu esikhathini esidlule, ikakhulu osayizi abakhulu, lelo elangezwe ngabaphathi bepulazi lezinkukhu kumaqanda amabili athathwe kuye ngesicelo se-loader-cohabitant, esasiqoshwa yikhamera yezokuphepha yaleli bhizinisi. Angikwazanga ukumelana nayo ngaqala ngomshanelo ngaphesheya komgwaqo. Izimoto ngokuxakeka zamyeka, kwaba sengathi uyahlanya. Yena, enganakile izimoto zakwamanye amazwe ezibabazekayo, wagijimela emgaqweni futhi, njengekhayithi evela ezulwini, wagijimela kumlimi, wamshaya ngezindiza ebusweni ngomshini onomshanelo, lapho inyoni yenja yaphuma yaya emaceleni. Le ntokazi yahlikihla amehlo ayo ngokungakholelwa futhi, emboze umlomo ngezandla, yahleka kabuhlungu. Ngokuphazima kweso ukuthi uzoyithatha kuphi. Kungazelelwe, ngaphandle kwendawo, kwaqhamuka amaphoyisa amathathu ngokushesha aqala ukudonsa uMadame Tumor. Ukumemeza:

— Le boor, shaya lentokazi!!

— Thambisa umoya, yehlisa umoya! — Amaphoyisa abuzwa ngenhlonipho. — Akekho umuntu oshaye umuntu. Bheka lapho. — Kude kude ungabona ikhamera ye-movie nabasebenzi befilimu abanodondolo.

— Le filimu idutshulwa ngumseshi ophenya amahlaya! — Ungeze iphoyisa lesibili.

— He he he he!!! — ukhokhise owesithathu. — Futhi inkohliso inkohliso! Hu hu hu!!! Futhi ukulwa!

Isishubhu sahlala phansi, sanyakaza okuthile, sababaza abaculi, sabheka emaphoyiseni, sathatha umhluzi saya emgaqweni omkhulu uFurshtatskaya.

Futhi ngalesi sikhathi e-candeyka, lapho inkampani ye-gop yayikade ihlangana khona, futhi manje abasiki bengqephu bavuka kumuntu obophela imishini, babona ukuthi enye yezinto ezatholakala ingekho noma ilahlekile, yakhula imilenze yakhe babaleka, baqala ukulungiselela uzungu lokudalula isela noma imilenze yakhe. Sebehambise amabhodlela ashiywe ngempelasonto edlule, bathola imishini yokuhlanza ebizwa ngokuthi yi- «Snowflake» kanti, sebeyixhakamisile ngamanzi asendlini yangasese, ngenxa yokushoda kukompompi, maqondana nokulungiswa kwepayipi, baqala kancane ukuphuza, bedla izinsalela ezazicishwe izolo emgqonyeni kadoti ubizwa — bay futhi omuncu kakhulu.

Kwakusondela ntambama. U-Madame Tumor ushaya ingoma yentombazane yakhe elahlwe yicala, wabuyela e-canday, ephethe, ngesandla esisodwa, yokusungula, kwesinye isikhwama enamathini ka-aluminium kabhiya namabhodlela. Ngaphandle kokucabanga noma ukusola noma yini, wavula umnyango wangena ngaphakathi kwe-candeika, ebhekene nesiphetho sakhe…

Ekuqaleni, wahlangatshezwa ukubonwa phansi kwangaphambilini.

— Hawu, yini? — Kuqala ikhonsathi esabekayo, umfelokazi omnyama, owedlule wabulala abayeni bakhe abathathu, kusukela ehleli endaweni yababulali eneminyaka engu-15 waqamba igama elithi Kampuchea, nangobuzwe bakhe — uKalmyk ngaphandle kwamazinyo angaphambili.

— Yini? — ethuke kancane futhi edidekile, wabuza uMadame Tumor futhi wabeka i-yokusungula.

— Yini, ini? — ungeze ngokuqinile igama lakhe elithi hahal elaziwa ngegama elithi — uBalamut ngohlobo lwesifo sofuba esivulekile. — Esikhathini imbongolo fuck, hhayi hot?

— Mina, ngicabanga isizathu sokushayisana, kusho uMadame Tumor. — Ngihlanze insimu.

— Futhi kanjani? — ubuze umlingiswa wesithathu wale geyimu yamahlaya, igama elihlwabusayo elithi — Fox.

— Ngabe konke kuhlanzekile?! kusho yena.

— Futhi thina Fuck! — Bhekiswa Kampuchea. — Akuwona umsebenzi wakho, ngeke uthathwe nguwe, awuzange uwuthathe njengento ebhakedeni, kepha, bitch?

Futhi lapho siya khona: ekuqaleni wayeshaywa kabuhlungu futhi ekhahlelwa emilenzeni nasenqindi. Ngemuva kokungena, izinto zahamba: ama-thermometers amathathu, ephukile emgodleni wakhe womlomo, ukushayeka okubili ngesinqe sentambo entombazaneni, kunqamula kanzima nge-rose kusuka ebhodweni elalihlekile lamehlo nezihlathi, izilonda zommese eziyisikhombisa emzimbeni ngommese, kuphule amabhodlela kabhiya alethwe kuye ngesando esidonswe ngaphakathi kuye. ukuqala ezindaweni ezingamanyala zokusondelana. Futhi ngenkathi ukwazi ukucula «ikhekhe leqhwa» nokwenza amathile. Ekugcineni, ngemuva kokuduka, isidumbu esingaphilanga sasihudulelwa echibini, kepha umakhelwane wahlangana wabiza amaphoyisa ngasese namaphoyisa nge-ambulensi.

Kuze kube sekuseni, baphenya imbangela yalokhu kubanjwa inkunzi ngenqindi babayisa esikhungweni sokuboshwa kwangaphambi kokuqulwa kwecala ekuseni, kwathi uMadame Tumor waxoshwa odokotela. Manje uhambahamba endaweni kamasipala waseChernyshevsky, amakhwela, ukhuluma nonkulunkulu futhi uphuza kakhulu. Abalishumi baba ngumngane wabaphathi ababi. Futhi kwenye i-candeyka, ngokuvamile, ngokudlwengulwa okungenangqondo kowesifazane ofuywayo, amadodana akhe ajezisa abaseshi ngezando nangemimese kangangokuthi bagqolozela iso elilodwa babeka elinye ezimpaphe, abanye basinda ngokushaywa ngesando ekhanda. Futhi lokhu kwenzeke ngo-Eva woNyaka oMusha, kepha le ngenye ingoma yeSodoma neGomora…

inothi 7

Izinsuku zeveke ze-Orthodox

Kule ndlu eyayihlukumezekile enamabhomu, yabangenamakhaya, eSinopskaya enetulo 26, ngaphansi kwegama elithi RBOO «Nochlezhka», kwakungezona izigebengu kuphela, amathokheni, amaChukchi kanye nabathathu base-Ukraine, okungukuthi, izakhamuzi zaseDonetsk. Abanye bonke abantu base-Ukraine bangabalandeli benkolo yaseBandera, kodwa futhi bekuhlala izindela ezimbili zeSonto lama-Orthodox ezazivele zikhathele ukukholelwa kuNkulunkulu, futhi banquma ukuthatha ikhefu ehlobo ekudleni kwabo kwasemini kokulalela kanye nokuvinjwa kwezinye izilingo zomhlaba, ukubukela, yiqiniso, isidlo esikhulu sokungashadi, enikezwe ngesilinganiso. Kuyiqiniso, bona, ngasese kwabanye ebusuku, baphonsa iminwe yabo embotsheni yomunye, futhi, ngokusobala, akudingekanga ukuthi bakhansele lesi sidlo sakusihlwa, ngenxa yokungahambisani nezinye izingxenye zomzimba endaweni yomzimba. Njengoba baphunyula esigodlweni sezindela sase-Alexander Nevsky Lavra, idolobha laseSt. Petersburg, bayikhohlwa yonke imithetho yemithetho futhi balalela ukungabi namthetho kwezwe: babhema, bachitha, bafunga, futhi, ekugcineni, ngemuva kokulala, baphendukela eNkosini yabo. Kuyiqiniso, babengaqondakali, ngoba uBaba uSeraphim wayeseneminyaka engamashumi amabili eyinkosi, kusukela ezikhumbuzweni zezikhathi zaseSoviet futhi wayehlala ngisho nasendaweni, izigebengu, ngenxa yezinkolelo zenkolo. Ubaba kaFion, ubekhonze insimu engcwele isikhathi esingaphansi kweminyaka eyishumi nambili, kepha usanda kuthola lo mnotho ovela kule monki ebabazekayo, waseKiev Pechersk Lavra, lapho atshalwe khona emuva emkhandlwini, waqala ukuzulazula ezungeza izindlu zezindela namasonto. Njengoba uSeraphim eseshilo kaningi ukuthi umphefumulo wakhe kade wawusezulwini, kepha inyama ayikwazi ukwehlisa umoya futhi ife. Futhi wayelinda leli hora njalo kusihlwa, ethandaza ngaphambi kokulala. UNkulunkulu wabo ngokusobala futhi wayeqonda ukuthi kwakungeyona eyensimbi, ngoba babekhonza isidlo esikhulu sangaphambi kokungashadi, bengaqali, futhi ngokuvamile ababanga nabesifazane uma besondelana. Futhi imali yabo yachithwa ngaphandle kokusebenza futhi yanyamalala njengoba befika nje.

ENochlezhka, ngokushesha benza abangane abaningi bamanga, abaphuza nabo, nezindela, ngokudingiswa, baba uhlobo lokuphakela abanye izinambuzane ezihlwabusayo ezenza izigqila zabantu abakhubazekile nabadala bephansi kwabo, kanye nabantu abampofu abangenalutho balinganiswa nabo, ukufumbathisa kwabo kwansuku zonke. Kepha izindela kancane kancane zayidelela le freebie ngokwazo futhi yanquma ukuguqula umbuthano woxhumana nabo nendawo yokuchitha ubusuku, zangithinta futhi zangichitha ubusuku bonke egumbini elingaphansi kwegumbi leSeminari le-Alexander Nevsky Lavra, lapho u-Aleksashka Nevzorov ake wafunda khona. Bengingakalilahli ikhono nesipiliyoni sokulwa emgwaqweni futhi ngijabulele igunya elikhethekile phakathi kwamasela. Bangibiza ngaphandle kombhoshongo futhi kwesinye isikhathi bebengalokothi baphikisane. Ngamafuphi, angizange ngithintwe, futhi mina, ngemuva kokulalela uSeraphim noFiona, ababazi ngegunya lami ngempela, hhayi ngamahemuhemu, ngokuxhumana nangamaholo, ngavuma ngokuvuma. Okusemqoka ukuthi ngangiwuhlobo lwesikhwama sezokuphepha. Bona, begqoke isudioscock, bangena kunoma yisiphi isitolo bathembisa ukuthandazela impilo yezihlobo zabo, ngosuku olwedlule, kuthiwa, bashiya imihlambi ethile yasePoland. Igama elilodwa lalifanele futhi kwinani lama-ruble angamashumi amabili. Imali idluliselwe kimi, futhi namarisidi athathwe eKazan Cathedral ashiswa ngaphansi kwenkonzo yabo yomkhuleko. Mina, ngokungafani nabo, ngangigqoke izingubo zomphakathi, kodwa nginesilevu. Lokhu kwenziwe uma kwenzeka ukuthi la maphoyisa asibambe, bese ngifana nesobunxele, futhi awunayo nepeni phambi kwawo. Futhi konke kwahamba kahle. Ngosuku «esilinqunyiwe», okungukuthi, sathola kanjalo nje, hhayi ama-ruble ayinkulungwane umuntu ngamunye futhi ngemuva komsebenzi sazulazula emisebeni, lapho sathela amagremu ayikhulu, saphuza ukubukeka kwengulube. Futhi bazulazula emangqamuzaneni abo, ehostela lokufundela, e-Alexander Nevsky Lavra, benama kahle futhi bedakiwe, bejabule futhi bekhathele, kusukela osukwini olwedlule, kepha umgwaqo oya ekhaya ubuyingozi futhi unzima. Kuqhamuke ngezindlela ezahlukene, kwenzeka esikhungweni sokukhucululwa kwezidakamizwa. Futhi nakhu manje sesiphuzwe kakhulu esiteshini samaphoyisa. UFiona ukhubazekile ngokuphelele. Wayemncane, enomusa kakhulu, efundeka kahle futhi emile. Isimo sobuso bakhe, ikakhulukazi obedakiwe, sasinjengobuso benqama enamehlo amnyama. Iserafi, ngakolunye uhlangothi, lalidonsa futhi likhuluphele, njengengulube, lihaha futhi linobuqili. Wayehlale efuna ukuseshwa, aze afike ku-anus, lapho i-heroin, i-cocaine kanye nokhula kuvame ukufihlwa khona. Kuliqiniso, ubaba kaFiona ukhwele e-anus, futhi wayengumsunguli wokusesha wonke umuntu naye, ngeqiniso, ngaphandle kwami, ngoba nganginemali, futhi ngangingayinqamula emthambekeni noma esibindini, ngokwethemba nokholo emazwini ami, ngakho-ke behlala bekholelwa ekucaceni kwami. Ngemuva kokutholwa kwama-banknotes, uBaba uSeraphim waphenduka futhi wacela intethelelo, waguqa ngamadolo, ezibuza ezibuza ukuthi bangena kanjani lapho, bethuthumela:

— Kodwa bafika kanjani lapho?

Njengoba besiyise esiteshini samaphoyisa esilandelayo, iphoyisa ebelisemsebenzini lasiyala ukuba sivale iqembu lethu endlini yezinkawu, lapho amaTurkmens amabili ne-lousy, enephunga elimnandi, engenamakhaya ayegqoke ubusika, esevele edlubhe, yize ukushisa bekungaphezu kwamashumi amathathu, futhi egqoke nesigqoko sasebusika. Futhi uthi ngaphandle kokufuna ukuthi kuyabanda ekuseni kusukela ekudobeni, abheke amabala ehlombe, bese kuba inkinjana, intamo, bese umphetho, noma okuwukuphela, ngaphandle kokukhumula izicathulo zakhe, bese kuthi ukhokho nezinye izindawo. Futhi kuyiqiniso.

Silethe uFiona emgibeni wekheji sambeka ebhentshini lokulinda. Uthathe umhlalaphansi wahlwitha, wavula umlomo wakhe kakhulu engingakufuni, okuvela kuwo amathe ngamathe wavele wakhungatheka, wadonswa izinwele izinwele zesilevu namadevu. Zibambe umiyane, izimpukane zazinamathele, njengepheshana elinoshevu lomiyane. USeraphim wayephithizela ngenkathi ehleli. Futhi ngazama ukufihla izinsalela zemali kuphela, lapho ngangine-cache eyakhelwe ngaphakathi. Kungazelelwe, i-wavu yavula futhi yayinempilo kunabo bonke, cishe abavela kulo lonke i-Central Internal Affairs Directorate, yangena ngaphakathi, i-android enesibhamu ehlombe. Kancane kancane, edla amehlo akhe, ehlola i-chmyr, lapho-ke, njengoba ukhozi ligqolozela amawele ase-Asia yeminyaka ehlukene, base bevele benamathele emehlweni omqaphi kuya odongeni, bevula iso elincane belibhekisa ezinhlamvwini ezinhlanu zama-ruble, babiza abafundi bethu babheka uFiona owayelele, okwathi lapho ngaleso sikhathi uquqaba lwezimpukane luzungeza emlonyeni wakhe, lufana nomqobelo wesichotho. USeraphim wavula iso lakhe lesokunxele wathi:

— Commander, mqede! — nalabo abasebenza emugqeni, ukugaxaza kungalethi amathe embuthanweni, behleka. Indwangu ebomvu yezingubo zomzimba izolile, idonsa ngamathambo e-vertebra yomlomo wesibeletho, yaphenduka ikhanda, ngaphandle kokunyakaza nokukhohlakala, okungukuthi ngezwi elinjengentombazane encane, yaphenduka umoya:

— Wena, nsizwa ehlakaniphile, nezinto okufanele zihambe.. Fast!!

USeraphim wanikina ikhanda kancane ukuze abambe iso lomqaphi nezitshudeni zakhe, wasukuma kancane washiya idrayivu.

— Igama. — kubuza isiphathimandla esiphethe.

— Mina?! Ubaba uSeraphim! — indela endala yaphendula ngokuziqhenya futhi yaphuca intshebe yayo.

— Ngathi, igama eliphelele!! — kufika isisebenzi. — noma uye kukhamera izinsuku ezintathu.

— Inkomo uSergey Baituleuovich. — wathuka igama lakhe ngokuthi uSeraphim wezwe. — Ngizokuthuka. hesed.

— Yini? — Kubuza iphoyisa.

— Ngithi ngigqoke leli gama isikhathi eside, ngaphambi kokugcwala kanye nokwamukelwa kwesidlo sakusihlwa sokungashadi. wamemezela waphinda futhi wamlaba. — Ngizokuthuka.

— Njengamanje ngizokushayela phakathi kwemilenze neklabhu. — ahlwithe owesibili, emi ngemuva ubaba wengcwele. — Kunjalo, sekusebusuku manje?!

— Ekuseni — Izinkomo, futhi kusihlwa.. — uhleli eceleni kwakhe wenezelwe.

— Lokhu akunjalo; Sengineminyaka engamashumi amabili ngithembekile. — Ngiqale ukuqaqamba njengomntwana osuswe uswidi wakhe.

— Hhe, Seraphim, UnguRedneck..

— Ungu-Chikatilo. — Ngemuva kokuphazamisa, wanezela iphoyisa elinempilo.

— Uzibonile izingcezu zobufakazi bakho?

— Yebo, oh, umphathi!

— Ah kanjani! — isiphathimandla simomotheka. — Futhi webe ithambo? — wonke umuntu wahleka. — Futhi weza eSt. Petersburg ukuyithengisa kaningi?! — ukumemeza kuqinisiwe.

— Musa ukuhlambalaza, Umphikukristu, uHerode inkosi yezulu, ngaphandle kwalokho ngizokuniphatha nonke! — USeraphim wakhipha amehlo akhe futhi ngokungafanele wakhipha imfashini yakudala.

— Kepha asikho isidingo sokuduka. — Uqaphele isikhulu somsebenzi.

— Yebo, uqalekisa kanjalo. — engeza iphoyisa limi ngemuva. USeraphim waphinde waveza amehlo akhe abalekayo, abafundi babo: enye iluhlaza okomnyama, kanti enye inombala onsundu.

— Ngabe ufuna ngikuqalekise manje? — ubuzile ophilile ngesibhamu. — ngamafuphi, uzophuma, i-canopy esibayeni sethu emnyangweni wethu manje ukuze uyihlanze.

— Futhi ngizokhononda kumshushisi egameni leSonto Lobu-Orthodox. — IComrade Cattle ifihliwe.

— Uhambile, ikhabe, usuka entshonalanga Ukraine? UStepane, ivale emuva.

Ekuseni sakhululwa, futhi sashiywa singenaye uSeraphim, waphoqeleka ukuba ahlanze indlu yangasese. Ngesikhathi sokudla kwasemini, wasibamba futhi sathandaza futhi salibangisa ezitolo ezibonakalayo…

inothi 8

Ngiphinde ngasebenza ngaphansi kwenkontileka…

Ngiphinde ngasebenza ngaphansi kwenkontileka, noma ngingekho, ngivela emazwini ezakhamizi zale Nchlezhka futhi ukuze ngingaphazanyiswa ezindabeni nasemicimbini, mina, yonke into ebhalwe kulo mjikelezo: (amanothi avela ku-Uzobhekana Namahlandla Wokuphila Lomhlaba (Bum), alingana nomlingiswa oqokiwe, uhlobo lwezindaba ezikhuluma ngoVasily Terkin, vele, uma umuntu efunda ngaye. Ngiye ngezwa kuphela ngokuxhaphaza kwakhe, okwenziwa yizigebengu ezahlukahlukene, ngezikhathi ezahlukahlukene. Ngokuvamile, ngakhonza … «Mina» igama le-protagonist yamanothi ami, gcina engqondweni… Ngokuvamile, ngiphinde ngasebenza ngesivumelwano. Siqhubeke nokuhamba ngeso lokhozi amasonto amabili sibuyele esisekelweni. Lapho sisondela kulo, sahlatshwa umxhwele, ngokushaywa yizwi: amaChechens asusa umsindo ngokudutshulwa kwezikhundla ezimbili phakathi kwethu futhi sabanjwa sengozi yomlilo futhi kwadingeka ukuba sihlale emfuleni, entanyeni usuku lonke, kwathi lapho abaphathi beyihlela, savaleliswa futhi safudumala. maqhawe, kuwukuzwela ukuthi ngabathathu kuphela eqenjini lethu ababulawa ngokudlula komngcele Wombuso.. Umbuso wezulu ukanye nabo, yize kwakukhona umSulumane oyedwa kubo, ke u-Allah Akbar.

Ngemuva kokugeza endlini yokugeza nokushintsha impahla yokunuka yokunuka ekhaya, saqala ukuhlala amaholide asemthethweni amasonto amabili. Sahamba futhi saba nesithukuthezi, silinde uhambo olusha. Ngandlela thile simi emasangweni esisekelo futhi sibona umhlali wendawo eza futhi, ngokusobala, kithi.

— Udingani? sambuza.

— Hhay, bhuti, nginike ama-kirzuh amabili? — Esondela, wabuza ngezisho ezihlekisayo zaseMpumalanga, amabhuzu amabili we-tarpaulin.

— Kungani?

— Nginike mfowethu, huh? Kusasa, izinyanga eziyisishiyagalombili, inqama yemvu iyahamba, amadlelo aqoqekile.

— Futhi yini, kuma-galoshes ukuthi angadluli?

— Cha, cha! Buthini ubuwula? — I-Chechen ingxabano encane. — imbuzi ihamba naye.

— Kungani? Ngibuze ngokunganqikazi.

— Yini, kudliwe yizimvu, izimbuzi ziya emadlelweni? — nge-ironic sergeant. — Angiqondi ukuthi kungani udinga amabhuzu?!

— Wai, cha, imbuzi yangasemva yemoto boot, pop? Futhi ukukhuphuka kweklabishi, amasaka, ukuthi ungakhumbula kanjani nonkosikazi.

— Hhay, uyiphupho?! Futhi uzokhipha imali engakanani?

— Wah, kungani imali, rat. UChacha wkinkin, yebo. I-chacha emfushane.

— Kulungile, buka nje, uma ukhohlisa, ngizokudubula njengesigebenga.

— Kungani emangele kangaka? USalim akasokhethi. USalim uthembekile.

— U-Ahmed washo okufanayo, kodwa wayithengisa i-chacha engenamandla njengamanzi. — iseraging ekude wabona umoya oyimpandla oqoqa izimbali zasendle unambitha amacembe.

Sabukana futhi sanquma.

— Sawubona, wena.., hamba syud! kumemeza uSergeant. Umoya ngokungathandabuzi walalela lo myalo, wakhumula amabhuzu akhe wawaphosa e-abrek yesizwe saseCaucasian. Wabamba izicathulo, wazanga, futhi wakhipha u-chachi wenyoka onamalitha amahlanu wasifaka ephaketheni lebhulukwe lakhe wasiphonsa kithi ngaphambi kokuthatha isliphu futhi wasiginya ngesibonakaliso, sengathi wayengelutho.

Ekuseni usuku olujabulisayo!!!

Kuphela i-abrek yaphunyuka, ibamba umalusi ehlulekile eduze komhlambi wezinkomo, kubonakala sengathi izama amabhuzu ezintombi zayo zezimbuzi, okufanele ziqinisekise ukuthukuthela nentaba yamaholide asezintabeni, zikhumbula unkosikazi wakhe amthandayo, njengoba inyunyana isikisele:

— Futhi yini?!

— Yebo, unga! kuphendule umphathi wamasosha.

— Ngakho? — Ngibuze okuyimfihlo.

— Ukugibela. — kuphendule undunankulu futhi sidlula emcimbini wehillock, lapho wonke umhlambi wesokunxele wezimvu, okufanele usatshalaliswe khona ezintabeni, wabonakala ngokucacile. Bathathe umshini ngesilencer, bathatha isikhundla sokulwa, bakha isikhwama sewayini. UChacha uvele waba ngumbethe, njengekhompiyutha.

— Imbuzi, i-abrek, futhi ibibila, kahle, akukho lutho, sizobahlelela umjaho we-cockroach manje. — iserverant ithukuthele, yathatha inhloso yezimvu ezinkulu eziseduze, imi eduze kwethu, inezinwele ezimhloshana. «Pooh!!» futhi inhlamvu inqume isihlahla esikhula eduze kwenqama. UBharan akazange anake.

— Nikeza, unqamule iso. — ubambe okuhlanganyelwe. Wathatha inhloso wathi «Pooh!», Washaya umhluzi endiza phezu komhlambi.

— Club, udubula ukuphi?! — ukukhipha isibhamu esizenzakalelayo, induna yamoyizela.

— Kungani, ukubuya? — inkampani ixoshwe.

— Ushayela ini? Kunjani, kuqala ukudonsa, bese kuba yivolley? induna no «Pooh!» bathatha inhloso. Inhlamvu yesiwula, indiza ngenqama futhi igijimela edulini, iboshwe ngemuva kwe-hare. Lowo muntu ompofu kokubili ngakwesobunxele nangakwesobunxele, uyoguqa phansi akhonkothe, futhi inhlamvu, njengebizky evuthayo: izondiza, ibuye; bese uqaphela, bese uphuthelwa. Ngakho-ke washayela ihlathi ehlathini.

— Eh!! — Ukhulume kancane, ebuka umvundla, induna futhi washaya phansi ngomshini ozenzakalelayo, wagebisa ikhanda. -Le chacha. Ngeze abize u-Abrek.

— Yebo, impela, i-chacha yahlukaniswa. — Kwasekelwa ezinkampani.

— Ungalahli ithemba amantombazane ahamba nawo. — Ngaduduza, ngasese, angikhumbuli ukuthi hlobo luni lwamasosha e-Russian Federation, ngathatha isibhamu somshini, ngangesula isilencer, ngabona, ukuthi ngizosinikeza kanjani volley esifundeni sonke, futhi ngize ngingajahi, ngakho-ke imbewu yawa ebhandeni nasenqama emi emuva kithi izitho ezitholwayo, okungukuthi, ngesiRussia — amaqanda. Inqama yagxuma cishe ngamamitha amathathu ukuya phezulu, yafika kanzima, idonsa kanzima njengesibhamu somshini, yamemeza njengebhetshu, ubaba, cha, ubaba wami ongizalayo, futhi, evusa konke okuvuthwe njengomhlambi wedlelo, wabalekela esiqongweni sentaba. Ukushayeka kokudutshulwa bekuvele kuqala phezulu futhi kwabangelwa ukuzamazama okukhulu kweqhwa, okuholele ekwakhekeni kwama-avalanches, athi ngokuzithandela atheleke ngakolunye uhlangothi lwethafa, adonsa ingxenye yesithathu yomhlambi ogijimayo nemizana eyisishiyagalombili ephuzi. Kube nokulimala kwabantu hhayi phakathi kwabantu kuphela, kodwa futhi naphakathi kwezakhamizi zendawo. Sishintshele egumbini lokudlela ngakwesobunxele futhi asizange, sakhaselana, sahamba sengathi akwenzekanga lutho.

Ukudla kosuku olubi!!

Ngemuva kokudla okumuncu, siphinde futhi saqhubeka nokuphumula kwethu okufaneleyo esikalini sendawo, esasinikwa ngubaba wethu ongaphansi kwesikhundla samakoloneli. Abambe lo moya, lo mphathi wamasosha wamyalela ukuthi akhuphuke edwaleni eliphakeme ngesikebhe lapho angabona khona sonke isigodi esidala, esasingasasebenzi ndawo lapho sidlula khona. Noma kunalokho indawo yakhe, lapho abantu bendawo bengekho bahlala khona izinsuku. Umsebenzi wakhe kwakuwukuhlakaza izivakashi ngosizo lomugqa othomathikhi ophahleni lwentango yendawo yokudlela eseceleni kwendawo yokuhweba yale ndawo elula.

U-Old Givi uhamba kancane, ekhonkotha, wasondela kule ndawo. Umakhelwane owambona wamsondeza kuye wammema ngemfudumalo etafuleni lakhe. U-Old Givi akazange anake, kungathi uyaphenduka, futhi, ephendukisa ikhala lakhe, wahlala etafuleni lamahhala. Umlindi okhuluphele oneminyaka ephakathi wagibela kuye weza gxuma.

— Futhi ukuba ngunina, baba, wah wah, injani impilo yakho?

— Yini impumputhe, shchto, ungibone ngiphile!!

— Yini efikile?

— Ukudinwa. Yizwa wakhula umkhulu. — Yebo?!

Umlindi onamafutha aphakathi nendawo wabuka uGivi osemdala waphakamisa amashiya wakhe.

— Nginike izoso, yebo?! Ukusuka koku, kusuka enyameni enempilo, ebiyinqama enempilo. Sika okuhlanzekile ngommese… Healthy kebab. -ukuhlwitha iso lakhe lakwesobunxele, nokuhlunga kwesokudla sakhe, kuphakamise umunwe omncane kaGivi.

umlindi wandiza. Futhi-ke ukugcinwa kwephahla kwaqala. Zonke izivakashi namakhekhe ahlakazeka lapho. U-Old Givi yedwa ulindele i-oda ngokuqhubekayo. Inhlamvu edukelayo yashaya isigqoko yasiphonsa phansi. UGivi akazange aqhubeke ngaphansi kwezimpande zamadevu waseBudenovsky. Ngomzuzwana nje, amasosha aseRussia abekhonkotha kuleya cafe.

Sithathe izingodo zewayini kanye ne-kebabs eluhlaza futhi zithosiwe nathi. Besingadingi mali. Ngemuva kokuthayipha konke okudingekayo okwakudingeka, sathatha umhlalaphansi. UGivi wayelindile.

Ngokubona ukuthi amasosha ahambile, izivakashi nezindawo zokudlela ezinhle zikhuphuka emakhoneni futhi ngayinye yathatha imisebenzi yazo, ikhipha izinhlamvu ngaphansi kolimi lwazo futhi zikhafulela izingcezu zamazinyo phansi.

Isilinda esinamafutha besivele siphethe i-barbecue siye endaweni ekudala ilindelwe. Wabeka ugqoko phambi kwempumulo kaGivi etafuleni wanamathela emgqonyeni wendodana ekhuluphele yeziphathimandla zendawo, eyabizwa ngegama lokuthi — «Hawu, yebo?!». Umkhulu kaGivi wabamba ngentshiseko isoso futhi ngamazinyo ansimbi aphuzi, wabamba ucezwana lwenyama ebunjiwe. Umlindi wagxumela ngokucophelela ezimbongolweni, naye eguqa ngamadolo akhe. UGivi wadonsa i-skewer ngaphezulu kanye. Inyama isanda welula. Wadonsa, waluma amazinyo akhe — amabili. Iskewer yaphunyuka ezandleni zayo yashayiza le endala ebusweni bayo, ishiya imichilo enamafutha ezihlathini zayo kanye nendandatho yotamatisi othosiwe esicutshweni se-snub-nosed, ubuzwe beCaucasian. Wayiphinda futhi okwesithathu, futhi izandla zakhe ezibucayi zathuthumela. Futhi…

— Hlobo luni lwenyama, irabha, wai?! — kuqhume uGivi jean ohlonishwayo.

— Hawu baba, wai, inqama eshisayo enempilo, wabhoboza utshani ezintabeni! Umoya omnandi, yebo?! waphila iminyaka eyikhulu neshumi nambili.

UGivi wethukile waphonsa isoso phezu kwetafula.

— Hheyi, yebo, bengilazi lelihlaya ngesikhathi unobaba wakho kuphrojekthi, yebo?! — Wavuka, ekhohlwa umgwaqo oshubile wokhuni olunamatshe ophukile, wahamba.

Sawubona kusihlwa kusihlwa!!!

Kepha thina, saphuza, sase sikhumula, sangena emzabalazweni, kepha kuthiwani ngaphandle kwawo, singamabutho e-Airborne Forces? Futhi ekuseni sahlalwa phansi ukuze siqhubeke nokuphumula kwethu bese silinda uhambo olulandelayo olimini…

Ukusa kosuku olubi…

inothi 9

Hambani

USgqila uVenadevich, owayeyiphoyisa elidala, manje oyisikhulu sobugebengu esamiswa esitolo esipholile wathenga ibhodlela lelitha elipholile le-vodka, isidlo esimnandi, ubhiya opholile futhi baphuma esitolo bepholile. Esondela kwi-jeep yakhe esebenza kahle, wayivimba ku-alamu epholile futhi …, wakhumbula ukuthi wayekhohliwe ukuthenga ugwayi opholile.

— Well, spruce iwile. — Wayethukuthele, futhi, ephonsa yonke into embongolweni yemoto, washeshe wanquma ukuyiphuthumisa esitolo i-nicotine futhi akazange anamathele ukubaluleka kwe-alamu. — Well, yini, ngokushesha ngaphandle kolayini futhi uthenge?! Ibhizinisi elincane.. — wacabanga, kepha kwavela ukuthi iklayenti elithile lalikhokhela inani elikhulu lemikhiqizo lephathi yenkampani futhi kwakumelwe linde imizuzu eyishumi. Irejista yemali imatasatasa.

Uma ukuphuma, kuphole. Lapho esehamba, i-jeep yakhe epholile ene-alamu epholile, ene-vodka epholile, isidlo esimnandi, ubhiya opholile abusekho.

«Bantshontsha, amadimoni, khe…» USilveri Venadevich wathuliswa kwathi, ekhanyisa ugwayi opholile, wabiza amaphoyisa omgwaqo ngokugebenga kwakhe umngani wakhe, uColonel.

Ngemuva kwamahora amabili, kwatholakala i-jeep engekho kude egcekeni: ngaphakathi kwesidumbu sendoda esencane nengxenye ye-vodka, ithamo lobhiya elivulekile kanye nomdla ocishe udliwe. Amamitha amahlanu ukusuka kwi-jeep abeka isidumbu sesibili somdala kaKhachik.

Bathe yonke into ithathwe emikhiqizweni ethathiwe base bejezisa umphathi waleso sitolo, bathi indodakazi yakhe, intombazane eneminyaka eyisikhombisa ubudala, yabulawa. Isela lomngcwabo, ngenxa kanembeza ofanele, lalikhokhelwa ngu-Slavery Venadevich uqobo, nekhanda lakhe ngemuva kwesonto abalimele bathola udoti. Babize uchwepheshe wabo endaweni yesehlakalo babaleka, babona amaphoyisa futhi ezwa ukwesaba ukweqa umthetho.

Ababekade bengasasebenzi ezindlini zamabhomu baxazululekile ngakho konke baqala ukungqongqoza wonke umuntu, kuhlanganise nami, okwathi ngemuva kwalokho ngakhishwa ngabaphathi «bendlu yokukhosela ebusuku» ngaphelela emgaqweni.

Ngazulazula kulo muzi futhi angazi ukuthi ngenzeni, ngangifuna ukudla nokuphuza, ukulala nokubhala, ukuhawuda nokukhala, ukufota nokugedla.

— Yebo, nikeza isihogo ipasipoti, umsebenzi nezindlu!! — kungene engqondweni yami. Futhi i-python yacela enye into. — Njengamanje, kuyashisa, inyama nokuningi…

— Hamba uyantshontsha!! — izwi elingaphakathi ligawulwe njenge-sekele.

— Cha. Angiyena umuntu wentando yeningi waseRussia, kepha ngingumuntu waseSoviet. Umqondo wami wakheka esikhaleni se-post-Soviet, lapho iningi lalingazi ukuthi lingantshontsha kanjani, kodwa limane lakhipha futhi labelana ngocezu lokugcina lwesinkwa, njengoJesu, bebona izinhlungu zabanye futhi bengakuqondi lokhu. Bantshontsha, futhi, labo manje njengamanje i-oligarch ne-democrat, abangakwazi ngisho nokuthola iqhwa ebusika, babasuse kubantu abajwayelekile. Iphini elinezigebengu esidlule lihle futhi linobuqhawe, bathi, umbuso wakudala walandelwa. Kepha uma umuntu eyisihlubuki, khona-ke uyingozi futhi unonya kunamaphokhethi ajwayelekile kanye ngekhulu. Akusibona abokufika kuphela abalimaza izwe lethu, futhi hhayi thina — ngabantu nje, kodwa la masela emthethweni — manje asengabaphathi boMbuso Duma. Futhi konke kuzoshintsha kuphela uma kususwa lowo owake waba yisikhulu seSoviet futhi uma engeyena ngisho nomKhomanisi, uyisela langezikhathi. Futhi manje basazama nje ukuhlala ngokunethezeka kaningi, bethatha izimpilo zethu kithi. Futhi izingane zabo, zingazi impilo, ngokushesha kumaphini. I-Sniff shit yokucabanga kangcono futhi uvote ukuthola okusha Futhi thina, abajwayelekile kubo bayizinambuzane nje, hhayi nezinkomo. Uhlobo oluthile lwe-prima donna lalihlala kuyo yonke i-ether. Uyanconywa futhi ahlabelele ngezingoma zakhe. Ungowesifazane wentando yeningi ezweni lethu, ushade nendodana yakhe engemthetho futhi konke lokho: yenza njengoba enza. Futhi labo abaphikisana nobukhosi baso, okungukuthi, kungcono kunengoma futhi hhayi isihlobo sikaMose, akusho ukuthi ifomethi efana neViktor Tsoi, ngokwesibonelo, owasuswa ngemuva kokuba enqabile ukusebenzisana naye. Futhi lokhu kuyo yonke imibuthano yamandla. Intando yeningi yethu iphambene nentando yeningi yaseNtshonalanga, futhi ngakho-ke izinga lokuphila lihlukile: sinamalambu kanti baneKaif. AmaMelika ahlobanisa idemokhrasi nokwethembeka, kepha nathi maRussia, lokhu kuqondwa njengokwebiwa nobunuku. Futhi ngithole., Cha, akukho lutho, hhayi kokuqala. Izidalwa ehlathini kulula, azinamthetho. Futhi lapha?! Into esemqoka ukuthi wehlise umoya. Uyabila — yi-utopia, izinzwa zisadingeka… Kepha ingabe konke kudiniwe ngakho?! Ukuzingela akuyona nje inkinga. Uma abantu bephikisana nenkosi, lokhu akuselona izwe, kepha kuyindawo lapho baphoqelelwa ukuba babekhona, bangahlali. Kepha amahora okuqala wokuhlela kabusha kabusha empilweni anzima, futhi lapho usuqonda ukuthi yini ezayo, khona-ke impilo ayithokozi futhi uphila ungacabangi ngakusasa. Impilo ngaphandle komgomo. Ngakho-ke, intsha yanamuhla izokonakalisa izwe ngokuphelele… Amaviki amabili okuphakama kusuka ekuqaleni, ngiphinde ngidle ngokudla emphakathini. Futhi kusukela kulokhu, ngeke ngithathe isinyathelo…

I-Nevsky Prospect yinhliziyo yaseSt. Kusuka ku-Alexander Nevsky Square kuya ku-Decembrists Uprising Square; ukusuka kweziNkanyiso kuya eHermitage. Kungakanani okubonayo: ama-juggler, nama-acrobats, namakhethini, kanye nabanqobi, nabamunca kanye nabagibeli. Wonke umuntu usebenza lapho. Futhi ubuso bondleke kahle ngobugebengu. Kuyiqiniso, izivakashi empeleni ziyindlela yokuzijabulisa. Bheka, indoda kaMcDonald ebambekile enefosholo, okungukuthi, nesikhwama. Futhi ngibona ukuthi indoda ethile iza kanjani kuye ngokubukeka okuhlekisayo.

— Hhe mfowethu,.. kuhle! — wabingelela osancela.

— Yebo, unempilo, ngiyabonga uNkulunkulu!

— Yebo, ingabe impilo ijwayelekile? Kunkulunkulu? UNkulunkulu akakuniki shit ngawe. Ngamafuphi, — waqhamuka eyisigangi esiqinile kumuntu oncelisayo, eshayela ifosholo, ngaphandle kwalokho ngizombulala njengenja. Thola izikweletu, uvale ifosholo bese ulifaka ephaketheni lakho… Manje, hamba. Ungavimbi; uNkulunkulu wakho uyalele ukuthi wabelane.

— Uzobika kanjani kuNkulunkulu?

— Futhi ngiyavuma ngaphambi kokuba ngife futhi ngisazokugcona epharadesi. Hahaha

Futhi-ke ngiza ngaphandle kokuxwayisa lo muntu osenkingeni. Ukhipha umoya futhi, ezama ukumelana, ungibambelela ngokwemvelo ngesandla esisodwa, abambe isibindi ngesinye. Phuza, lokho kwesibindi esibuthakathaka.

— Thatha imali yakho, mfowethu. — Ngithi ngiyamunca bese ushaya ummese kude nomuntu.

— Ngiyabonga!!! — uyangibonga, kanti lo muntu osenkingeni yokufa ulahlekelwa ukuqaphela futhi afe. Futhi wayengasebenza kwenye indawo futhi azuze umbuso nabantu, kepha izinxushunxushu zentando yeningi ezweni zamenza walala … — Lapha, thatha umvuzo. — ungihlebele umthethosivivinywa futhi ngokushesha abaleke, agxume kwi-Lexus yakhe aqhume. Inkomishi yetiye namasoseji amabili enhlama, siyabonga ngokusindisa amashumi ezinkulungwane nokuboshwa kwamasela. Kepha amaphenti adinga ukusindiswa. Yebo, kunabantu abaningi lapha futhi wonke umuntu uyahamba. Futhi intengo ithukuthele futhi isakhula. Abantu abahlupheka kakhulu ezweni, kubiza kakhulu intengo.

Yini lapha?! Ngime ngibuke omunye umuntu odlula ngendlela. Ngibona abantu benamathela futhi bengaboli, beya kubhiya, nomuntu ongenakhaya kuye. Ucela okuthile, asondele kuye ngokushesha.

— Sawubona!!! Usizo ngesinkwa, unikeze imali eyisikhombisa yemali?! — kusho isinxibi esingaqondakali.

— Phumani, Hrrade Huy!! — lo mfowethu uthinte izingxoxo. — Iya ukweba, ukunuka!! — Waphula insimbi. — Ukhathele ngabantu abangenamakhaya?! — umgilwa wamamatheka. U-Loch wamdonsela ukunakekela, wamhlola futhi wathatha isikhundla sakhe sokuqala, ethatha le ndoda ngezinga lesakhamuzi sakhe. Waqhubeka. -Uthenga kuphela ubhiya futhi ngeke uphuze ngempela.

— Yebo. wadonsa. — Ngisanda kuthenga ubhiya, kuqhamuka omunye athi: «Nginike ama-ruble amabili?», Uthathe isiphu, esinye: «Ngisize ngihambe nge-metro, bavele bangidedela ngisuka emaphoyiseni.» Ngabe amaphoyisa ethu angamaqhawe athathe imali yomuntu siqu? Uhlobo oluthile lobuwula, ku-TV basho okuphambene.

— Hmm yebo! — I-sucker esekela ukwenyuka Waqhubeka:

— Wathatha esinye isiphu: «Ngisize, bhuti, wethwesa umsolwa amacala …", usuvele uthatha i-sip yesikhombisa.. — wagcizelela.

— Ishumi nambili. — Nganqoba isicoco ngisebenzisa amasu wokuhlela izilimi zeNeuro nezeluleko zikaCarnegie.

— Yini? — Ungaqondi uLech.

— Futhi ungoweshumi nambili…

— Kungani?

— Futhi ngoba thina ngokwethu sikhathele yile mpilo, ubusika, ukudideka ezweni. Sekuvele ukugula emphefumulweni. Ngakho-ke banquma ukuhlela i-Independent Public Organisation for the Homeless, ngamafuphi: NOBL! Sivele siqashe ihhovisi futhi sisize kakhulu ngezindlu, umsebenzi, nokubuyela ekhaya, ngoba kithi imibhalo ayibalulekile. Lona ngumsebenzi wama-desks passport kanye ne-FMS. Ukwethembeka enhliziyweni, hhayi ephepheni. Yisiphi isinyathelo osithathayo, uNkulunkulu uzokubuyisela…

Futhi i-goof yavula ifosholo, futhi ngemuva kwakhe amaphoyisa asevele eshise lo mlisa futhi alinde iMagarychs. Imvamisa ubhiya ne-shawarma. Kepha angihluphi, angifuni ukwethusa isikhwama, angihlangani neze nalokhu, kepha sekucindezelwe isithangami esincanyana futhi sifisa ukuchuma, futhi lo mfo wambonga washeshe wanyamalala…

UFu, washiya amaphoyisa, kodwa hhayi awakhe. Lapho uhlangana, lokho kungokwakho, ngakho-ke uyahamba uchithe imali. Ngakho-ke ngaphenduka owami futhi ngaya kubhangqwana.

— Ngamafutha, mhlawumbe, uZyoma-umngani, muhle, umbone njengoLaz… Kepha ngawathatha lawo maphutha, ngabona, angikweleta?

— Ungubani? — wethukile wabuza umfana.

— Ngifana nawe, phusha… kahle, wabelana noma u skim?

— Sizonikeza okuhle mayelana nama-bazaar, ubani, ubani … — oweseka lo mfanyana futhi wacela ukuya eBistro. Sangena sahlala isigamu sosuku. Baziyela ebhishi laseNudist eSestroretsk. Ilanga, buzz, dope futhi wathatha nudists echibini ukuba fuck, ngoba ogwini kuvinjelwe? Kepha le yindaba ekhethekile.

Ekuseni, imali iyadingeka futhi, bese ngihamba, ngibheka ukwakhiwa kwezakhiwo. Ngiphuza ubhiya, ngikhahlele amazinyo, ngikhiphe amachaphaza ngithathe ugwayi omude, ngama-ruble angamashumi amane nantathu, abiza kabili kunebhodlela le-vodka. Umusi obanjiwe uyakhuphuka futhi uvuvukele ngokugcwala komoya…

inothi 10

Futhi abangenamakhaya basephathini

Futhi ngahamba nentombi, umenzi wemfashini osebenzayo ngaphandle kwendawo ethile yokuhlala ngokwepasipoti yami, okuwumhlaba wonke waseNtshonalanga, esigodini sase-taiga eButurlinovka… Ku!.. Umbuso olele, lapho wonke umuntu engaboni khona imali futhi uselala ngokuphupha ngempilo edlule.

Ekuseni ngavuka, ngakhamba ngiyongena egcekeni ngikukhumbule. Unkosikazi waphatha lo mshini ngobusuku. UBaska uphuthuma wathela amajikijolo egcekeni. Inkukhu eyodwa eyodwa yazidlela zawa zangaphili. Umgcini wehostela, oyisiwula, wathatha futhi waqala ukukhipha izimpaphe phezu komcamelo ku-hangover, wacabanga ukuthi sekwephuze kakhulu ukusika, yena uqobo washona futhi ngaphandle kokunquma ikhanda lakhe, inyama yayiqinile.

Ngaleso sikhathi, inkukhu yavuka futhi yaphenduka yabhebhetheka, yaphephezelisa izimpaphe noma kuphi, noma kuphi, lapho le nyoni isho ngehangover futhi yagijima impandla kwelinye icala.

— Ake sihambe ngezinyawo sizungeze idolobhana. — uphakamise, emlandweni odabukisayo, i-mezzo-soprano, umngani owavele wangilandela.

— Noma mhlawumbe sizokhasa? -ukukhuphuka kusuka esiteji esilandelayo kompheme, ngaphendula nge-sushkim. Izithende zami zazinzima ngaphezu komkhawulo ngaphakathi kwegumbi futhi igazi laligobhoza ekhanda, okuqinisa nobuhlungu. Umngane wasukuma, ancika kunina futhi wangidonsa ngakhala, izicathulo ezibizayo, waqhubeka nokuphuma egcekeni. Ngagaqa izitebhisi ezinyaweni zami futhi ngavele ngamlandela ngidlala amachaphaza esitolo sevodka.

— Futhi nitrous? Ngabuza, ngithatha isiphu ebhodleleni elithengiwe lotshwala.

— Unogogo uNyurka, umama wakhe ukhukhamba nosawoti kangangokuba kwanele ukuluma enkampanini.

Lapho sesiqedile, salibhekisa kwabaphathi bendawo, isihlobo esasisanda kukhishwa ezindaweni zokuphucwa inkululeko yokudla nokunyakaza. Umuzi wakhe wawunjengobuningi, obukhulu. Njengoba sesigobile emhlane ongezansi, singene everanda futhi, ngaphandle kokulawula, sangena endlini. Etafuleni kuhlale ubude besinqe esinqeni, behlubule, bonke ngama-tattoos, indoda enesikhumba esibizwa ngokuthi nguKharya. Kwimisipha emzimbeni wakhe, kwakubonakala amathambo kuphela.

— Khulu Kharya. -bingelela inkosi yami ngaphandle kokuvinjwa. Uphahla ngokusobala lwakhelwe izinto zokuzilibazisa nobumnandi.

— Kuhle, uma ungadlali. — Lowo owalahlwa yicala waphendula ngomlomo ngethokhethi elibonisa ubuthi. Bengingahlehlisi nje njengomngani wami, ngime emnyango ngilinde isimemo. — Hlala phansi, woza nje.

— Uzoba yiVodyaru? — kubuza wami.

— Futhi yini lapho? kubuza uKharya.

— Yebo, imakethe kanjani, lapha. — Imayini yaphendula ngenhliziyo yabeka etafuleni ibhodlela le-vodka.

— Kulungile, asithele. — isiboshwa sathatha ibhamuza sayiprinta, sayithululela emgodini. — ngena, uhlale phansi, bavakashi abathandekayo, zenzele ekhaya. — Waphakamisa futhi wabopha kusuka umphimbo, wabe esegeza phansi esuka egunjini. — Haaa!!! aphefumulele phezulu enwebise amehlo. — Yimina kuphela, njengomama, engcwatshwe kusukela ku-appetizer, ngebhola eliqhubukusha, hhayi into edumile. I-caviar emnyama kuphela. Usevele umphimbo wami unamathela. Ufuna, ukhwela ungene egumbini elingaphansi kwethala.

— Diathesis, uthi? Ngachaza.

— Yini? kubuza uKharya. — ubani lo?

— Lesi simuncu sami, silungile futhi asilahlwe. — wachaza imayini.

— Futhi unjani isimangaliso? — Nami ngabuza ngesibindi isiboshwa.

— Kuthule, bafo buthule angisho. — Ngiqinisekisile eyami futhi yangazisa kumnikazi ijazi. «Lo ngumalume wami unesigwebo seminyaka engamashumi amabili.»

— Uneminyaka engamashumi amabili nanhlanu … — kulungiswe uKharya. — Hhayi, gibela isela elisencane?! Ngemuva kwakho konke, ngeke uthumele owesifazane wakho?

— Futhi yini? Ngiyakwazi ukukhwela. — Imayini ephakanyisiwe.

— Ibhizinisi lakho. kusho uKharya azithululele enye i-vodka. -Imigodi ihambile. — futhi wamsunduzela kimi.

— Hlala, sithandwa, ngiyakhotha, futhi uzosebenza ebusuku.

— Frets. — uphendule wami.

Ngakhuphuka ngangena ngaphansi kophahla, ngabeka umdlalo futhi ngashaqeka; emashalofini kwakukhona izingcezu zamathini angamashumi amathathu nantathu amakani obhontshisi onsundu omnyama. Ngakhipha amathini amabili.

Ngokushesha nje lapho sithathe uhhafu welitha emgodini owodwa, nawo, kungathi yi-chifir, njengoba kungene amaphoyisa amabili endlini.

— Kuhle, Harya? — baqhuba. — ubungenasikhathi sokuncika emuva kanti vele izingulube ezivela kuTrades Woman zintshontshiwe? Woza, upakishe, ufike nathi.

— Kungani? — kubuza wami.

— Nikeza uvumo. Ngabe ufuna naye, uVasilisa? — uphakamise iphoyisa elinesibindi nelingajulile.

— Empeleni, ungasebenza. — Kungezwe iphoyisa lesikhumba futhi elide.

— Kepha dick uyiqagele!! — udakiwe Kharya uphuzile, wathatha isando namazipho amabili ngamamilimitha ayikhulu namashumi amahlanu ukusuka efasiteleni, kwathi ngokulandelayo, wabethela izinyawo zabo phansi phansi ngokhuni, ngaphandle kokuthatha izimbotshana zabo, hhayi imibimbi futhi, ngokusobala, ababuzwa ubuhlungu. Igazi lishushuluza kancane. «Manje ngithathe, kepha ungathinti umshana wami, uma kungenjalo uzoya ebhakedeni ngokwakho… Well.., Weak?. Angintshontshelanga izingulube; ngeke ngibone ikhulu leminyaka yentando.

— Well, uyisiwula, Harya. — Kudonswe ngesibindi.

— Ngempela, yawa i-oki, kungani inesihluku esingaka? — kungezwe isikhumba.

— Kungani unonya olungaka? Woza, Palych, kuzungu, ukungezwani kwakhe. — Kuphakanyisiwe ngesibindi. — Lokhu akuhambi, akuhambi.

— Ngena, wena sidlabha, Harya!! Manje, uVaska, — waphendukela kwelami. — Beka usinki, uma kungenjalo, iphansi limboziwe. — wajika wahamba.

U-Kharya uthathe izindengezi ezivela e-sill ewindini wadonsa izinzipho emuva ngaphandle kwengxabano, ngaphandle kokusonta ubuso bakhe. Sivule imilomo simangele.

— Yebo, musa ukuqaqa nina bafana. wasiqinisekisa. -Izinga.., imilenze yami ibisacwengekile ezimayini. Kepha lesi sikhafu esimpunga siyawa masinyane. Hahaha!!! — wafaka umlomo wakhe ongcolile, lapho umuntu akwazi ukubona khona ukungcola kwamazinyo akhe bangaphambili.

— My, i-yachting yami! — umngane wami ungibhalele. — ugijimele phezu kwakhe, unabo bonke abafana. Ungowesifazane impilo yakhe yonke, kepha unina akazange ambone ngezinsuku. Waze wamzalela kule ndawo ngenkathi echitha isikhathi sakhe nogogo wami esikhwameni sokusanhlamvu abantshontsha ndawonye, amawele amabili. Yebo malume?

— Yebo, lokhu kudoti, lalela, yeka ihlaya elivela esifundeni engizokutshela … — Futhi u-Kharya, ngaphandle kokunaka izimpukane, uqhubeke nokukhumbula izindaba ezihlekisayo ezenzeka ejele.

— Futhi yonke le ndawo kwakumelwe ime amahora amabili emazingeni angamashumi amahlanu nanhlanu eqhwa.

— Futhi kwenzekani? umshana ubuze umalume.

— .. Ngakho-ke bekunje: ngesheke kusihlwa, ngoba bekungekho osonkontileka.

— Futhi ubani? Ngabuza, sengidlulise izifunda ngingekho.

— Lesi isiboshwa esinikeza ezinye iziboshwa umsebenzi, zithupha nomnikazi wendawo. — wachaza imayini. UKharya wafaka ugwayi wabhema izindandatho zentuthu.

— … Yonke indawo yaphendulwa phansi. — kuqhubeka Kharya. — Ayikho imbuzi yalokhu nakho konke, nesithwathwa — thabatha amashumi amane nanhlanu. Izibani zaseNyakatho kanye nokushesha okuvela ezulwini. Kungaleso sikhathi lapho engishaye khona ngezinyawo zami, ngahamba ngashaywa ngovivi, ngangihlushwa izinyawo zami.

— Futhi yini, uthole lokhu? — Ngazibuza.

— Ahhh… Yebo, batholile.., heh.., eshawini, ngohlobo, ngizoba fucking. Lesi sidumbu, sinqunu phambi kwetafula eligqoka isibuko ku-esile lakhe labhajiswa.

— Hahahaha!!! — Yeled — Yini, ngandlela thile?

— Yini, ngani? — Ebuzwa mine.

— Kungani, ini?! Ubhalwe nge-beep (imbongolo) yakhe. Lapho indawo yonke isivele iyaqhuma … — UHarya wayesathungatha umugodi futhi u-Ostap wahlupheka. -Kwakukhona nokho ihlaya. Ukutshela?

— Woza, woza, upholile! — Imayini esekelwa.

— Isimangaliso esisodwa ethoyilethi le-shit blinded. Kuzo zonke lezi zinto ezingasemuva, waqoqa imishini engashintshiwe futhi wafaka isoseji esiminyene esasibukeka njengamahhashi emadodeni, sifinyelela isigamu semitha. Futhi wonke umuntu wayehamba, ebuka futhi engaqondi ukuthi ngubani onendima ebanzi yokuhlaziya angayikhohlwa, futhi wakubeka esifanekisweni. Isikhathi eside wayemi lapho futhi ehlekisa ngazo zonke izivakashi. Ngamafuphi, kune-madhouse eyodwa futhi akukho okufanele kwenziwe lapho. Ake ungitshele okungcono, unjani, eSt. Petersburg noma eMoscow?!

Sabukana futhi sagqekeza, simamatheka.

— Ithini!? — I-My said, ubukhulu bomzimba: ikhulu lamatshumi amabili- lamatshumi amahlanu — ikhulu lamatshumi amabili — Njengakuyo yonke indawo: namuhla kunepaneli, futhi kusasa alisekho.

— Yebo kukhona namahlaya lapho. — I vibrate yakhe umshini-vibrator, okungukuthi, mina, ngithela enye mug. — I-Anecdote lalela kangcono. Kusho ukuthi i-beaver ne-log basebenza ngokumelene nokwamanje, amagwababa abheme okungenangqondo lapho kukhonkotha kwesihlahla abheke nokuhlushwa okunzima kwe-beaver. Ubhukuda, wabhukuda, uyabona, iqhude liyahlala lihlafuna. «Nika, — uyacabanga, — Ngizophumula» futhi uyambuza: — Yini, bathi, wenzani onemibala? futhi yena: — Mina? — igwababa liginqikile. — Ngibhema bamboo,.. Uuuuiii!!! … Huuuuu.

I-Beaver: — Ngakho-ke? Khe, hr.. — u-beaver wahlukana nentuthu isiza ngakuye.

Khokho: — kuyashesha.., ukuze kujabulwe konke.., futhi ngifuna ukuhlala… Ahhahaha!!!

I-Beaver: — Futhi kanjani ukubhema okuthile?

Khokho: — Yebo, donsa ubambe, ubambe uze undize.. Ufuna ukuzama?

I-Beaver: — Futhi yini, woza?!

Futhi iqhude lashaya i-beaver ikholamu yentuthu, njengasesitimeleni esifuywayo. U-Beaver ukugwinya futhi walubamba ekujuleni kwamaphaphu akhe. Umzimba we-rodent wehlisiwe kancane wehla umhlane wakhe, waqala wacwila ezansi, wavumela ilog futhi wayesakaza imilenze yakhe. I-beaver yagcwala umuzwa wokufuna ukwazi lapho izinhlanzi zidlula zidlula ngakuye bese zilandelana zimlandela ngendlela eya lapho zithwala khona manje. Futhi ukuthi ubengawuboni kanjani umbono nobuhle obunjalo ngaphambili. Ngokokuqala ngqa empilweni yakhe, wazithoba emfuleni nemvelo.

Ngasikhathi sinye, ezungeze umgoqo, uBehemoti uhlala osebeni lomfula asule amabhulukwe akhe angaphansi. Ubona i-beaver iyaqhuma futhi iphume intuthu.

Imvubu: — Ngabe ungumuntu o-beaver? — imvubu yamangala. — ilogo yayikhona, kepha manje, njengefasitela lokugeza, uyavela?

I-Beaver: — Lapho! Lapho!!! Kuzungeze ukugoba kwesikhokho, bamboo ubheme!!!!!!

Imvubu: — Kuphi??

I-Beaver: — Kukhona!!!!! — Kuqhutshwa yi-yamanje, i-beaver ithe.

Imvubu yahlatshwa umxhwele futhi, yashiya umsebenzi wayo, yangena emanzini.

Kuhlala iqhude, kubheme u-bamboo kanye nemifantu ngenkathi lihleli. Masinyane imvubu ivele phambi kwesiqhwaku. Futhi igwababa lokuvukela umbuso, khona lapho, lahaya amaphiko alo, lavula amehlo alo, njengelesele futhi liyamemeza kuyo yonke imiphimbo yalo yamagwababa..

Isikhokho: — Beaver, exhale!!! Emvelweni, kuqhume?!!!

inothi 11

Mayelana noGena

Ngabeletha i-Negro Ivanov. Ukuqamba amanga, kusho ukuthi ukhandwe ngamatshe futhi uhlola ngokusobala udokotela owamzala kusukela onyaweni kuya esifubeni. Futhi uyalwazi lolu daba, asondele kuye amshaye izisebenzi eziseduzane. Kwenza ngcono ukuhlikihla umzimba wosanda kuzalwa nge-powder nge-chlorine. Futhi akaguquki abe mhlophe.

— Mdaaaa!! — ekhipha i-apula lika-Adamu, udokotela osekhulile uphume. — Wena, umama omncane, umfana. Futhi enesici kumbala wesikhumba.

Isusa ikhanda lakhe, kusukela ehlombe kuya ehlombe, kwesokudla, kwesobunxele:

— , oh, oh, ah, ah! — U-Madame Madame Ivanova uthwetshiwe, wakhandwa ngamatshe yi-morphine yezokwelapha. -Doctor, oh udokotela othandekayo! — Ngithandaza kuKristu, uqhamuka nokuthile? Ouch… Ouch! Ungamtsheli umyeni wakho?! Ungumculi opholile. Yini, futhi ngaya ePapua New Guinea kuphela.., Oaya, ukubhala i-theisis, Wow., Mayelana namaqembu endawo lapho., Yebo!! Hhawu, bhuti, izinqolobane ziyakhala!! Ucezu lwama-mowers ($ 1000), uma kungenjalo usengozini, ungumbulali wezinga lesithupha neliphezulu, thambisa i-cornflower yami nawe, mhlawumbe nami.

— Futhi yini enginayo ngayo? — amangale udokotela.

— Fuck yena, cwilisa, kanjani ukuphuza isiphuzo!!

— Madam, vala umlomo, udinga ukukusindisa, unamaqhubu ngaphansi kwenkaba nangaphezulu kwamadolo… Mdaaa.. Okuthile esizocubungula ngokwesayensi. Lena! UHelen! — Ubize umfundi omncane, isikole sezokwelapha sendawo., Enegama elithi Dandelion.

UDandelion Lena, eqinisa imbongolo yakhe futhi axoxa naye ngokuthula, ancike kudokotela.

— Yebo, uPutin Donald Trump. Ngikulungele…

— Futhi kungani unegama elithi Dandelion?

— Futhi lokho, hehehe. — embozwe ngentende impumulo yakhe ende i-mop ebomvu, ekhokha kuphela kuma-set-offs, kepha kwakubukeka njengentombi nto. -by hlobo ngitholwe iklabishi futhi ngiyajabula.

Udokotela wambheka ngamehlo, engakabi umbimbi, isithombe esincane, futhi, enwebisa iso lakhe, wathatha umoya onamandla wamakha, wahlehla i-eyelashes yakhe.

— Wow, ukweba, uzoya egumbini labezimo eziphuthumayo, ubuze uMnu Ivanov. Uzomtshela ngenkathi ephendula ukuthi ukuzalwa kwenzeka ngemodi ejwayelekile ejwayelekile, kepha ngenxa yokushintshwa kwezakhi zofuzo, izakhi zofuzo aziguqukanga, kwazalwa ingane emnyama. Uyayithola?

— Yebo, Mnumzane uComrade Putin uDonald Trump. — futhi umhlengikazi ngokuziqhenya wanyamalala engena emnyango. Kuyavela egumbini lokuphuthumayo bese lithi:

— Sawubona, futhi ubani uMnu. Vasil Ivanov?

Uvuka aphendule ngokuzwakalayo:

— Mina!!!!

Wambheka ebheke phezulu, waphakamisa intamo yakhe waze wayofika emkhawulweni, izicubu zakhe ezinkulu, ikakhulukazi emahlombe nasentabeni futhi wethukile, wavula amehlo, umlomo namakhaleni ngokwesaba. Ngemuva kokuthi ebuyile emuva wabuyela kubomvu kudokotela.

— Mina, Mnumzane uComrade Putin uDonald Trump, ngiyesaba. Mkhulu kakhulu, uqinile futhi uyisimungulu. — Futhi wakhala izinyembezi ezimunyu. Udokotela uthathe umphetho wembatho yakhe egqokiwe wayesesula amehlo akhe, egcwala izinyembezi izinyembezi, ezinjenge-jelly ebusweni bakhe, njengenkosikazi ehlanza isula uthuli olunonyaka ubudala efasiteleni. Njengobufakazi balokhu, uphefumula futhi emhlathini wakhe, waxosha izimpukane futhi wazama ukuqhubeka no-grater, kodwa uLenochka, esezixosha, wagijimela egumbini lokwelashwa futhi, evale ngaphakathi, waguqa embhedeni. Uma izimbobo zakhe ezingulube zingalalelwanga ephaseji, khona-ke abangane bomndeni wakho abagulayo bendawo abephule ukhiye womnyango, bafuna ukuzigeza.

Isidumbu sika-Ivanov sivele sagqama phakathi kwalabo ababelindelwe, ikakhulukazi lapho sicabanga ukuthi wayelapho yedwa, engabali amagundwane amadala, aluma ikhoneni le-linoleum ngaphansi kwesihlalo esilandelayo, ngokunamathisela. Udokotela, ethuswe ivolumu yalokho obekulindelekile, kwaxabana. Bengicabanga ukuthi angazi uzokwehla ngaphansi kwesandla esishisayo futhi akhahle i-rat ebusweni, aphumele ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulinda.

— Yini okufanele uyenze, yini okufanele uyenze? — Uvele waquleka, wabhekisa ehhovisi lakhe. -Vo!!! — Wayibeka phansi, futhi waluthatha ngocingo esifubeni sakhe, washayela inombolo yocingo yokutakula. — Ole, ole… Merkel?.. Yimina, uPutin Donald Trump. Lalelani uzakwethu, ngabe usunaso isiguli okwamanje?

U-Theresa Merkel May, wayengomunye umfundi futhi esebenzela i-detox yezokwelapha yendawo.

— Kukhona.. futhi yini? — ubuze uTheresa Merkel May,

— Mthumele kimi ukuba azokhuluma isihlobo. Ngemuva kwalokho ngizoyikhokha.

Ngalesi sikhathi, ngangilala embhedeni onzima ngilungiselele ukuphuma. Ngokweqiniso, ngikhumbula kahle ukuthi ngaphuthunyiswa kanjani esiteshini esinezifiso ezinkulu, kepha ngangivele ngihlelela i-hangover. Ngemuva kwemizuzu engamashumi amabili ngaphuthunyiswa esibhedlela, ngingazi nami uqobo. Mina uqobo ngangibukeka ngizacile kusukela ngizalwa, ngasikhathi sinye — singenakhaya (inzalo yempilo yezwe) Amehlo ami ayevutha njengamaxoxo. Amarothi amabili grey akhula ku-chin nekhala. Kusukela emazinyweni ngangineziqu ezimbili nje ezibolile nezimpande ezine. I-apula lika-Adamu lase likhula kakhulu entanyeni yakhe, okusele kwakubukeka kulula: iqoqo lamathambo ami lilingana nesikhwama sesikhumba namathambo angalushwanga ahambisana nokubonakala komzimba wami.

Njengoba ngangibeke ithiphu lami esihlalweni, ngazama ukwehlukanisa isithunzi sobudokotela esiphambi kwami.

— Sawubona, Vasya. wangibingelela.

— Yebo. Ngaphendula.

— Lapha, amakhulu amabili amagremu wotshwala omsulwa! — wadonsa ingilazi kimi. -Kodwa kudinga ukwenziwa kusetshenziswe. Ngokuvamile, uzoya egumbini lezimo eziphuthumayo. Uzobuza Mnu. Ivanov. Uzophendula athi: «Mina!». Uthi: «Ukuzalwa kwahamba kahle, kepha ngenxa yokuguqulwa kwezakhi zofuzo, ufuzo belungafanele, futhi ingane emnyama yazalwa. Ngabe uyaqonda?».

Ngifune ingilazi. Udokotela wambamba.

— Uyitholile?

— Yebo! — kwaqhuma uvalo emphefumulweni wami, ngakhipha ingilazi ngakhishwa ingilazi. Bangifaka ingubo emhlophe, i-cap futhi bayiphonsa ngaphandle kwehhovisi. Kuhle ukuthi ngikwazile ukuthulula ingilazi. Futhi ekhomba umnyango wekamelo eziphuthumayo, imvubelo endala yazenza yazizwa.

Ngaphuma ngabuza i-hiccup.

— Ubani u-Ivanov? Hk.

— Mina!!! — kugcwele ezindlebeni zami.

— Lalelani, bhuti, ukuzalwa kwahamba kahle. -ngibheka kuye njengombhoshongo wamanzi, ngaqhubeka, kepha ikhanda lami lalidiniwe futhi intamo yami yafiphala futhi ngehlisa amehlo ami enkabeni yakhe, ngaqondisa ikhanda lami. — okujwayelekile, ik, kudlule, ik, ukuzalwa kwengane. Yebo!!! Kepha wena fuck imayini yakho ngamanzi, kunjalo? Futhi-ke kwazalwa ingane engcolile, ik, babiza iGenoa! Igama lami nginguVasya. Ngiyitholile?

inothi 12

Abathathu baseGeorgia Saakashvili…

Ngiphuthuma, ngiqonde emakethe, futhi ngicabanga ukuthi ukuxolisa kuwukuzenzisa kuNkulunkulu nokukhuthaza Ububi, ngoba uma uxolisa kanye, kungahle kufune ukweba, ukubulala nezenzo ezifanayo. Sidinga ukuphenduka kuphela kuNkulunkulu futhi sincike emseni wakhe, ngoba nguYe kuphela onelungelo lokuthethelela, futhi abantu bathandazela intethelelo emithandazweni, okungukuthi: Usithethelele izikweletu zethu, njengoba nje nathi sibathethelela abasikweletayo futhi bangasiholeli ekulingweni, kodwa baletha thina Kobubi. Ngakho-ke, kulula ukungazenzi izinhloso ezimbi ukuze ungathandazi uNkulunkulu ucele intethelelo. Futhi ukuxolisa kwabacasukile kungumlutha wezidakamizwa ongenamkhawulo, osacelwa ngumqondo weSolezwe ukuxolisa, yingakho isizathu salokho. — Ngacabanga futhi ngaqala ukukhumbula engangikufuna nokuthi ngidinga ini. Wama, waqalaza — imakethe yezolimo ehlanganayo isivele ivaliwe. Abaningi baqoqa kancane izimpahla zabo ezahlukahlukene. Ama-Wheel loaders asusa amakalishi agcwele ezitsheni, futhi ngimi futhi ngikhumbule isizathu sokuba khona kwami lapha. Kufika imicabango eminingi emqondweni wami, futhi lapho kungekho peni lodwa. Futhi kulokhu, imicabango yami ukuthi amahhashi azoshesha kanjani ukuba abe, futhi ngubani owaziyo ukuthi uma ngizowakhumbula futhi, endaweni ethile ehhovisi lami, ukuwalungiselela ingunaphakade, futhi manje sengikhumbula okunye… Ngakhumbula futhi ngaqala ukusesha ngejubane olidingayo, ngoba imakethe iyavala, nangaphambi kokuthi ngikwazi ukuyivakashela ngenxa yomsebenzi engikhathazekile nonembeza wami kulo. Ngibheka, umGeorgia wokuqala umi ngemuva kwekhawunta, phambi kwakhe kunesigaxa nombhalo okuso: «inhlanzi bukhoma!» Ngikhuphukela kuye ngibuze. Idolobhana lethu lincane futhi lihlobene nemisebenzi yobungcweti, ngiyazi cishe wonke umhlali ngegama nesibongo. Ngamafuphi, ngimbiza ngegama.

— Sawubona, Genatsvale! Ngambingelela.

— Cabaret Jeba, mfowethu! waphendula ngentokozo.

— Yini, uthengisa izinhlanzi bukhoma?

— Yebo. — waphendula ngokunqikaza. Kungani benqikaza? Futhi ngoba uyimbangi yami, uhlala ehlasela umkami. Ngabheka emgqonyeni ngabuza.

— Futhi ubhukuda ngani ngesisu sakho kuya phezulu?

— Hush, kubuhlungu. uxwayise. — Awuboni, ulele. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, usuku, lwazigibela njengeseiga ezintabeni, emanzini emgqonyeni. Yebo?!

— Yebo?! — Ngabuka eduze emgqonyeni futhi ngabuye ngabuyisa ikhanda lami eceleni. -Fuuu!! Kungani enuka kuwe kanjalo?

— Uyisiphukuphuku?? Uma ulele, uzibamba ini?? Hamba, ungazihluphi ngokusebenza. Lonke iklayenti lalinovalo, umbuzo wakhe obuwula, futhi onobuhlakani?! Wah wah, qhamuka lapha … — UGivi, owayephuthume ekubuyeni kwakhe ebuya kimi, uqhubeke nokusukela.

Ngiyaqhubeka futhi: iGeorgia yesibili imile, ithengisa i-apricot. Akekho omunye umuntu, wonke umuntu usevele wazihlanganisa.

— Bungakanani ama-apricot? Ngiyabuza.

— Ama-ruble ayishumi nanhlanu, ikhilogremu! waphendula.

— Lalela, usemusha? Angikaze ngikubone. Ngibuze.

— Ngingu mfowethu kaGivi, ngithuthe izolo.

— Futhi ngingudokotela, uyabona, ubona isibhedlela? Ngisebenza lapho. Eduzane nemakethe.

— ngiyabona.

— Lalela, nginama-ruble angamashumi amabili kuphela. Siza amashumi amabili.

— Wena, awuboni, kusele ikhilogremu elilodwa. Thatha konke.

— Yebo, ngiphuthuma ukusebenza nomuntu engihlala naye ngokushesha emsebenzini, uma ngigijimela ekhaya, ngizobe sengephuze ukuvakasha. Thengisa ngamashumi amabili?! Ngiyacela. Ngisize, futhi ngandlela-thile ngizokusiza ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

— Cha!! — anqume lesiGeorgia sesibili. — Yini engikulinganisa ne-tebe engamashumi amabili, futhi kuphi konke okunye? Kuthathwa ikhilogremu, kepha uhhafu wekhilogu awukona. Isixuku se… yini, ngizodla mina? Ngiyini, mbongolo? Go ubuchopho musa fuck. Hamba, ungakhathazeki… Uryuk, Uryuk! I-apricot entsha enamafutha!!! — Ngokubona udokotela, waqala ngokumemeza ngamaGeorgi emakethe engenalutho. Udokotela wema wathi ngaphambi kokuhamba.

— Kulungile-ke. Uzoza esibhedlela sami. «Futhi nami, udokotela odabukisayo, uhambe, ngikhumbula konke.» — Sibambe, sigwinye…

Futhi ngokuqinisekile. Ngosuku olulandelayo, lesiGeorgia sesibili, singazange sithengise ikhilogremu yokugcina yama-apricots, samudla singagezwa futhi sanobuthi. Weza kimi — udokotela ongenazo izindawo zokuhlala, waqasha igumbi kuleli dolobhana, ngathola idiploma kadokotela endaweni yaseMoseph ngaphansi kwegama elithi «Okhotny Ryad». Kepha iqiniso lokuthi singodokotela abangenamakhaya iqiniso. Lapho kunobhubhane khona, sihlala lapho, lapho impi ikhona nalapho engifuna ukusebenza khona, ngoba ngiyinzalo enempilo yempilo yezwe! Ngakho-ke ngize lapha esifundazweni ngomholo omncane. Futhi isitifiketi asizange sihlolwe. Ngubani ozofika lapha, nolwazi kwi-Intanethi yokuhlehla, vele ungabi lazy, ikakhulukazi umgomo wokubonisana uyasiza. Yonke indawo kukhona ongaphansi adle le nja futhi alungiselele ukuthatha umhlalaphansi. Bona-ke banquma into esemqoka… Ngokuvamile, lesiGeorgia sesibili sangiphawula futhi sangivusa ngangqongqoza emnyango, ngemuva kwempelasonto enabantu abangenakhaya.

— Ngena, hlala phansi!! — ngaphandle kokuphakamisa amehlo ami, ngiphakamisa. — Ngabe ukhononda ini?

— Wena, Dokotela, isisu sivuvukele, sibuhlungu. Huh?!

— Bhinca okhalweni. — Ngangiqonda futhi ngithole ukuthi ubani oza kimi, kodwa akazange anikeze umbono. Wasondela kuye njengomuntu ongaziwa futhi elalele isisu sakhe esinenwele.

Okuthile kuhlanganisiwe futhi kwathotshiswa ngaphakathi kwethambeka eliphezulu.

— Mdaaaa … — Ngadonsa, ngacabanga, ubuso bemangele futhi ngathi. — Hheyi sithandwa, udleni?

— Uryuk. Cishe ukhohliwe ukugeza. — abakwaGeorgi bakhala ngobuhlungu.

Uyazi, i-apricot empeleni ayihlangene. Unokuhlukahluka.

— Yini?

— Ngokuvamile, ukhulelwe.

— Unjani? waqhuma. — Yini ekhulelwe kangaka??? Hhawu, ungudokotela izolo, ngiyakwazi!! Uyaziphindisela!!!

— Cha, unjani. Zonke izimpawu zihlangana nokuxilongwa okukodwa, kukhulelwe.

— Yini enye uphawu, ukukhulelwa?! Sawubona wah wah, uyahamba. Ngizoya komunye udokotela. Uziphindisela kimi nge-apricot. — futhi, weqa ngokuziqhenya, wahamba. Ngagigitheka, ngazilimaza ngokhahlo, ngathatha ucingo, ngashayela inombolo yomtholampilo wesibili.

— Alle, Seryoga. I-Yellow Snow? — Ubuye abe-Bum, kepha wafunda eMtatsheni wezincwadi kawonkewonke waseSt. Chukchi, ngemuva kwakho konke, e-Afrika, eChukchi. Futhi-ke, uphatha isikhundla senhloko yomnyango wezokwelapha futhi, njengami, udokotela wezokwelapha. — Sawubona, uSergaga, uGomiashvili uzoza kuwe manje, enoshevu wamathumbu. Mtshele ukuthi ukhulelwe.

— Uqinisekile?

— Ukwenza mehluko muni kuwe, usho lokho!

— Kulungile.

— Sisiza, ngaphandle kwalokho la ma-apricots abanjwe eRussia yethu, asithathwa njengodokotela kubantu…

,Sawubona, ngizokwenza, mfowethu. — Futhi kwenziwe.

Kukhona iGeorgia yesibili emakethe edabukisa-idabukisa futhi ikhala. Kufika uGeorgia wesithathu kuye, omncane futhi athungathe isithunzi samakhadi akhubekisa ikhala lakhe.

— Sawubona Givi, yini edabukisa kangaka? Asiye ephuzwini (imbongolo) ngomdlalo?!

— Heee wah wah, ungiyeke, yebo!! Bheka isisu? Kwanele kudlaliwe. Ubaba uzoba maduze.

— Eeeeeee?! — owaseGeorgia wesithathu wakhubeka,, wema, wabuka umalume wakhe…

inothi 13

Uxolo, ngicela usenzele isinkwa.

Futhi kwaba lobo busika obandayo, ngaphambi kokukhunjulwa kukaSt. Angikwazanga ukuzilulaza ngivela kunkulunkulukazi uLenin, iqembu ebusayo ebelikhathazeke ngayo yonke impilo yami yobuntwana nobusha, bese ngiqeda isikole, ngakho-ke i-perestroika, nokuthi hlobo luni, Futhi onkulunkulu bakhiwa kabusha ukusuka eLenin baya kuJesu, nifuna uJehova, futhi nifuna uAllah, Krsna, Ngizo, angizuku… Ukukhetha ukuthi ukhetha yiphi oyithandayo noma oyithandayo?! Futhi namaKhomanisi, anamaqiniso wokuthi akekho uNkulunkulu, aqala ukukholwa yilowo nalowo kweyabo. Imfashini, nabavoti bathande. Ukuphela komhlaba kuhambisana nezwe, abafokazi, ngamafuphi, i-powder kanye ne-powder yabantu, ukuze bangafuthekeli futhi bangaceli ukudla. Ukuguqula konke. Futhi ukukholelwa kungukungabaza nolwazi, futhi ukuzwela ngokweqile kuyifonti phambi komunye nomunye. Njengoba omunye u-Orthodox asho: ama-Orthodox awawona amaKristu, kodwa ama-Alahakbar adinga ukubulala wonke umuntu. Ngamafuphi, umsebenzi kaNkulunkulu, lokhu kuyindaba yomuntu siqu. Sahlala kwiHlathi laseLavra, ebusika ngangesaba futhi ngazama ukunyibilikisa umlilo we-log kusuka kwizingodo ezifriziwe ezigcinwe yizindela ngezinsuku ezibucayi, futhi zinokushisa kwasemadolobheni. Futhi kungani uminza? Futhi-ke, ukunambitha okushisayo. Empilweni engenakhaya, ukudla okushisayo kwehla kakhulu, ikakhulukazi ebusika. Amasoseji, ukudla okulula kanye nokunye ukudla okusheshayo sekuyisikhathi eside kuyisicefe. Kepha into esemqoka yayisengaphambili. Kamuva kwaqhamuka uLecht, waqamba igama elithi Humanoid. Iphoyisa lesifunda lamvumela ukuba abheme lapho eneminyaka eyishumi nambili, njengoba umama wakhe wayesephelelwe ngumdla wokuhlaselwa iziqubu.

— Ukukhula akuphumanga, ngakho-ke intuthu. wathi kumHumanoid, owayeziqhenya ngakho njengomyalo wamakhomanisi ezikhathini zaseSoviet. Waxoshwa esikoleni esise boarding for morons ngoba edlwengula uthisha, wabe eseyeka. Sisanda kuthi:

— Ngizokubulala uma unganikezeli!! — wanikela ngokwesaba impilo yakhe. Yize yayinkude eminye emibili, amazinyo ayo ayemancane kathathu kunamahhashi akhe.

— , -ke, ubutholile utshwala? Ngibuze.

— Yebo. waphendula wahlala phansi emlilweni, owawungavuthi kakhulu, kodwa. UTarzan uphinde wasibonakalisa igama lakhe lesidlaliso. Noma kunjalo, ngazifudumeza lezi zinkuni ezifakwe iqhwa. Uyisiboshwa esinolwazi, iminyaka eyishumi nesishiyagalolunye sokuboshwa ngemuva kwakhe, eshiye eSovdep, wangena kwinqubo yentando yeningi, bambhalela ephuma endlini basiza umama wakhe ukuhlanza, lapho nje sebethengise indlu lapho akhulela khona futhi waphila impilo yakhe yonke ukufika endaweni. Wayepholile, eba amasela, futhi wakhululwa waba yisinxibi, kodwa ngokubona akazange asho njalo. Ugqoke njengomprofessor- usomabhizinisi, wagqoka ngisho nezibuko ezifanele, wafihla izigqoko zezandla zakhe ngamagilavu wesikhumba futhi akazange athenge lutho, uNkulunkulu unakho konke. Ubehlala emgaqweni futhi abeke yonke imali ayithola ngokukhohlisa ukuphamba ehostela. Ngakho-ke wayengumuntu onenkani futhi wayethanda ukuxoxisana ngebhizinisi esikhundleni sokulwa.

UVika, okuwukuphela kwesixha sesifazane phakathi kwethu, mncane futhi uselokhu edumbile ekuphuzeni i-meth yansuku zonke. Wayehlala e-Estonia, emndenini ocebile ocebile. Ngemuva kokushada ngempumelelo futhi wathuthela kumalume wakhe nomyeni wakhe e-Pskov, lapho umyeni wakhe wabulala khona umalume wakhe, futhi bathengisa indlu yakhe, kodwa akazange athole mali wabe esebaleka eSt. Ngafika ehlobo futhi ngaqhubeka nokuqonda, kepha ukucwaswa kwezwe kwasinda kuye epaneli, futhi wasijoyina eTarzan. Uphuze futhi alahlekelwe isethulo sakhe. Kuliqiniso, ubesanikezwa inkonzo, kepha amaklayenti adakwe kakhulu, bese kuba yingxenye yedola nje kuphela futhi engasekho.

UDima, into elandelayo yeqembu lethu egqoke, washayela — uChurka.

Wayebukeka njenge-bacon ebhemayo, ethola imali ngokuqinile emasontweni. Ngihambile ngiphethe isikhwama semali ngathi ufuna ukuya ekhaya eKazakhstan. Futhi lokhu bekusenzeka iminyaka eyishumi nambili. Wachitha ingxenye yemali yakhe kuyena, nesigamu ehostela.

Futhi ngaphezulu ngeLyokha. ILyokha ibiyindondo efayilini lezokwelapha futhi ibigqoke isimungulu: ijazi elimnyama le-ivy esifundeni se-elbow elidwetshwe emsetshenzisweni futhi kwakubonakala ungqimba olimpunga olukhanyayo, olwaluhlazisa ukubukeka kwalo esimweni se-charomyga. Isigqoko sakhe esikhanyayo sasibukeka njengesiphithiphithi. Konke okwakungatholakali kwakuyimbambo ebomvu ku-visor enjengezigwili, kodwa kwathathelwa indawo amabala opende oluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka. Wayebonakala nasemunweni wezandla nasezihlathini, awusakaza lapho upende wawungakomile. Futhi wangcola ngakusasa ekuseni, lapho sihlangana naye esitimeleni. Ukuchaze lokhu ngokuthi onogada abenemetro bamcela ukuthi apende umngcele we-plywood eduze kwesihlahla somgwaqo, abeke kuNyaka omuNyaka omusha ama-ruble angamashumi amahlanu. Kepha wavuma kuleli bhizinisi, kepha awatholakali mabhulashi futhi uLech wasebenzisa isicephu seBrashi, wasikaza izihlathi ngoba beklabhile, isigqoko sakhe sasihlanganiswa nezandla zependiwe ngoba izintwala zimboze ikhanda okungekho ngaphezu kwekhanda lekhibhodi ububanzi futhi lokhu akuhlekisi. Kusihlwa, kwavunguza isivunguvungu esihlahleni. Kepha iLyokha yayi-moron enzima, nokuthambekela kwe-bio-amaphekula, ngokuqondile, lapho ecela imali yesinkwa, cha, akunjalo. Lapho ekhala ngesinkwa kuyo yonke imigwaqo, abaningi babevele bame kude naye, bese bethula izintwala ezandleni zakhe noma ekhanda nakwezinye izindawo, aziphonse ngaphandle, ethule azithele entanyeni yalowo ohlukunyeziwe, owavele waba ngamakhosikazi ahahayo. amaRussia amasha nezizwe ezahlukahlukene. Futhi wahleka ngasese, ebaqalekisa ezizukulwaneni ezine. KwakunguLech lowo. Wabe esephakamisa ukuthi sihambe kusihlwa siye eNikolaev Church, eseduzane naseSennaya Square siyokumba imali.

Impela, uChurka noVika basuka kulokhu okuhlongozwayo, bathi umbono ongasho lutho. UDima waya kuKukuyevo kumuntu wakubo, futhi uVika wahlela ibhodlela lewayini noKostya oyisithulu, owayengenayo nendlebe, bamqeda kuChechnya futhi abambulala, kepha leyo ngenye indaba.

Ngemuva kokudla ekudleni okubandayo okubandayo okuphekwe komoya omusha enkabeni yedolobha nokukuphuza ngotshwala, saqhubeka nebhizinisi lethu njengezinyosi. Kwakunemali esitimeleni esingaphansi komhlaba futhi kwadingeka sigxume ngaphezulu kwezithiyo. ILyokha, engacebile ekukhuleni, ihamba ngesizotha ngaphansi kwengubo, yagoba kancane. UTarzan wakhasa ngaphansi kocingo oluphathwayo, futhi mina, ngamakhilogrethi ayikhulu neshumi nantathu, sadlula endaweni ephendukayo, sinamathela ku-grin groin kumfundi ohamba kancane othambile, ngokuqondile emabondweni akhe acwebile, ngaleyo ndlela awela esikhaleni sezinyathelo ezihamba nemigoqo evundlile. Le ntombazane yagcwala umoya omnandi lapho ngiyicindezela kanzima «ngesikhafu» sami yaxolisa futhi yagijima, yalahleka esixukwini. Phansi egunjini lesitimela esingaphansi komhlaba esihlangane ngalo. Ngemuva kokulinda isitimela, sicindezele emotweni ebigcwele ama crampons futhi…

UTarzan wamemeza yonke imoto esuka komunye umkhawulo:

— Vuka lapho sifika!!! — ukhwele ezihlalweni futhi ngokuxosha akhiphe onobhala abahleli kanye nabaphathi. Ubabambise bese uyolala. Abantu bathula bacasukele. Kuyiqiniso, abantu abasha ababili babefuna ukwelapha ikhabe, kodwa omunye wabo wavala amehlo akhe ngaso leso sikhathi futhi walengiswa yisixuku. Ukuthi nje uTarzan ubesehlale iminyaka eminingana kule ndawo nomuntu owayekade eyi-Tibetan, uchwepheshe wezobuciko bempi.

Lapho sifika eSennaya Square, siphuthume kwi-escalator. Othile wagijimela ngemuva, washaya uTarzan e-coccyx futhi wabaleka, okufakazela ukuthi abakwa-St. UTarzan, noma eyendawo, wambheka buthule.

Ukukhuphuka esitopini, futhi engenzi lutho, uTarzan wahlubula iHumanoid njengesidlwane. Wahlwitha, kancane, futhi, emelana, wathukuthela.

— Yimise, Tarzan! — ukulungisa isigqoko sakhe, kukhule uLech. — Qeda!!

UTarzan wama okwesikhashana, kwathi uHumanoid, ebambe lo mzuzu, wazisongela ngesigqoko sakhe wasikhumula, waqala ukusiphula izintwala esidlangalaleni. UTarzan akazange akuthande lokhu, kanye nabahamba ngezinyawo bemi futhi begingqika kwi-escalator.

— Uyini, izinkomo, usihlaze? wamemeza kuwo wonke umzila ongaphansi komhlaba waqhubeka nokuxhawula uHumanoid. ILyokha ayikwazanga ukuyimisa yacindezela «unogwaja wemvukuzane», wakhubeka wawela emhlane wakhe, ecindezela abagibeli abangenacala. Kusuka ohlangothini lwesixuku esikhulu esiwayo. Ngenxa yeTarzan, wonke umuntu owayemi ngakwesokudla, bese ngakwesobunxele, waqala ukuwa. Futhi ume kancane ngumphathi we-escalator osindiswe ekulimaleni, kodwa wandise amandla okuwa. Inqwaba encane yayivele ibonakale ngezansi.

Ukusuka esitimeleni esingaphansi komhlaba sahleka usulu, noTarzan ngefingal.

— Kukuphi-ke kushu-wushu wakho? kubuza uHumanoid. — yini, schmuck, ngiyitholile?

— Thula, bastard. — Tarzan Snarled, ukusebenzisa iqhwa iso lakhe. — Kungcono uhambe uyothola itheku.

— Bathandekayo, isonto likude yini? Ngibuze.

— Phuma. Ukukhanya okuluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, uyayibona i-dome? — ukhombisile uLyokha.

— , ukuze esihogweni nawe, kungakanani ukusinquma?! — Kwangimangaza ukubona ibanga ukusuka kithi kuye, njengoba Beijing.

— Akukho lutho, udinga ukuthatha oku kwehliwe enganeni, futhi i-freak izokuthatha. — Tarzan ophiniwe.

— Uyi-freak ngokwakho! — U-Lech wahlwitheka futhi ngenxa yalokho wabanga udlame lwaseTarzan.

— Ngabe uselapha? Ngabe uthenge iwayini?

— Futhi ngani?! kubuza uHumanoid, ehlanganisa amehlo akhe amancane.

— Imbongolo yakho! Ihambile, inja yokunuka! — iyale Tarzan.

— Kungani ukhamuluka, ukuthi?! — Okucasulile uLyokha.

Ngokweqiniso, ukube benginemali, bengiyomnika yona, kepha lokho bekubonakala kuphela eHumanoid. Wayehlala enemali. Uyena kuphela owayecabanga ukuthi asazi, futhi sasicabanga ukuthi siyazi, ngoba ngaso sonke isikhathi sasimi ngemuva kwakhe.

Ngemuva kokuphuza ibhodlela le-port, u-Lech uvele wehla wenyuka ngemuva kwethu. Ukuphumela eceleni komgwaqo oqondile, sasingasakhathazeki.

— Amahloni!! — sezwa izwi elikhulu, elidala. Ephendukile wabona uLech emile, owayemane ebhala phakathi nomgwaqo, enganaki abantu abadlulayo. Futhi ugogo wakudala we-gypsy kuphela owenze amazwi kuye. Wasabela ngendlela ehlukile. Ukhiphe isivula seSoviet emsebenzini ngaphandle kokufihla ihlazo, futhi ngaphandle kokuma ukukususa, wawubamba ngekhola wasongela isisivalo.

— Njengamanje, endala, ngizokhipha iso lami.

— Lyoha, amabhuleki. Ngabe uyisiwula? — sammisa.

— Wena unaye?! Udinga ukudubula!! — ukuphunyuka emaphethweni amathuna weHumanoid, isalukazi sakhala, sabaleka.

— Kuyadingeka ukukudubula. -futhi sabamba uLyokha ngomphathi futhi samthwala cishe amamitha amahlanu, samjikijela eweni lesithwathwa ukuba liphole. Ngemuva kokubhema, saqhubeka.

Njengoba sesihlakaze iziphanzi zabesifazane abangama-gypsy nabesifazane asebekhulile esontweni, sabeka uKare nesigqoko sakhe emnyango wephepheli, sahamba, njengoba atshelwa, ethempelini ukuyothandaza kuNkulunkulu, ukuze baphonse okuningi. Wakholelwa, futhi sonile. Singene ngaphakathi sahlala emabhentshini silele. Kwenze ngemfudumalo.

Angazi ukuthi silinganise kangakanani, kepha uLechis wasivusa ngokucophelela.

— Stasyan, Tarzana!

— Suka kimi, Sathane!!

inothi 14

I-Cellar Basement

— Ngakho-ke? Ingabe igceke leli lizohamba?

— Damn, kukhona ichibi.

— Well.., nezimoto ezizungeze.

— Wena, Dani bazaar, ukuthi kukhona indawo?

— Muuu. — kusho uDenis. — ukulinda, huh?! Lapho!.. Isisekelo!!. Bengihlala kulo izinyanga eziyisithupha!!!

Saphendukela kuye.

Lapho sehle ngekhadibhodi phansi ezitebhisini zompheme ongaphansi, ukusuka kwesobunxele sabona i-jamb nengxenye yesithathu yomnyango ulenga kuwo, ngokusobala, umnyango ongaphansi kwendlu.

— Khumula!! Ngamemeza kuyi-gypsy. Wamlangazelela emoyizela, umnyango wawa ngokubhonga. Ama-gypsy angena ngaphakathi komnyango wesango.

— Ah-ndodana, kepha ukushayeka kuyantanta lapha?! — ama-gypsies ayethukile futhi, eshaya amanzi, abuyela kithi.

— Kuyini, ukukhuphuka? — kubuza uDan.

— Woza lapha esiqhingini siphuze. Ukukhanya kwehla kusukela ekuvuleni futhi akekho. (Okusho ukuthi, amaphoyisa). — Nginqume futhi ngathatha ibhodlela lechweba. Ukuyivula embuthanweni ngamazinyo ami, ngiyidlulisele kumngane. Ngifuna ukuqaphela ukuthi ngamakhomanisi kuphela, amaphoyisa, amasosha nabangenamakhaya abanelungelo lokubizana ngempela ngokuthi «umlingani!», Ngenxa yalokhu, ukulahla abantu abathathu bokuqala, abantu abangenakhaya yiso kuphela isigaba sezenhlalo sabantu esifinyelele kubukhomanisi. Futhi ini: izinto zikhululekile; ukudla emgqonyeni kadoti noma ekondleni, futhi kukhululekile; izindlu ezindlini ezingaphansi kanye nama-attic, futhi mahhala. Yini akuyona ubukhomanisi?! Ngamafuphi, umngani wami wakwamukela lokho kimi. Ngavula elinye ibhodlela lechweba futhi ngalinika uDan nelesithathu, ngavula, ngahambisa i-gypsy. Baqala ukudideka, futhi ngakhipha ingilazi eyayingasetshenziswa futhi ngayingenisa enkabeni yesixuku.

— Che, ubanjiwe? Thela?! — Ngamomotheka. Bobathathu bangithela ngasikhathi sinye futhi baphinde badideka, bangigqolozela.

— Ngabe ubhekeni? Phuza! Ngiphakamisa futhi ngiphuze ingilazi. Kuthule kwagqashuka yi-comrade engaqondakali.

— Futhi lesi akusona neze isiqhingi, kepha-ke-kanjani?

— Ass. — Kuqinisekisiwe amaGyps.

— Yebo… cha, kahle-kahle-kahle-ntambama-kahle-..

— Kahle, kahle?

— P-peninsula, moron. -ilungiswe ngenhlekisa likaDan.

— Yebo. Gypsy gypsy, wenzani? — UComrade wenza ukunakwa kwakhe.

— Kuz Jabere, Vishma.

— Futhi ngesiRussia? Ngibuze.

— NgesiRashiya ungahumushi.

— Bheka, wakhipha ukuthula emzuzwini futhi wanwebisa umunwe wesandla esisodwa, iComrade, nolunye wabanjwa, wasonga isibhakela ngezingubo, i-gypsy ngaleso sikhathi yazibizela yona uqobo, yabangela ukuba konke okuntantayo kugudle. Imibuthano yavela emanzini isuka kwikholamu engxenyeni yegumbi elingaphansi, ikhanyiswa kuhlwe ngokuphelele, kwabe kunekhanda eliyimpandla nesigaxa esidumbile sowesifazane othile. Futhi konke lokhu akusheshi.

— Hawu, uye esihogweni?! — Simangele ngaphandle kokugwaza iComrade.

— Phumani lapha!! — wasukuma uDan ephethe iqatha le wayini.

— Ah-ke, isidumbu!! — U-gypsy wagxuma futhi waphonsa ibhodlela lakhe, lelo le-Ulka, echitha. — Oh-Fight, mumbler!! -uye wethuka kakhulu futhi waphakamisa ibhamuza.

— Yebo, isidumbu. — Ngasekelwa ngesizotha.

Saqhubeka nale booze kwenye indawo.

Kudlule isonto. Esiteketheni esiseduze kwesiteshi sikaMasipala wase-Alexander Nevsky Lavra, imoto yeCop bubo ingene, ime kude nathi futhi abaqaphi ababili baphuma kuyo bathuthela kithi, behamba kancane. Siphuze ikholomu esehhotela laseMoscow. Sasinokukhetha: noma ukuphuza utshwala obuhlanjululwe ngamanzi angcwele avela kwiLavra, kepha ukuwela ezandleni zobulungiswa; noma wephuke ngezindlela ezihlukile, kepha ungaphuphutheki futhi ungalethi isimo sazo sibe sejwayelekile. Mina nabangane bethu abambalwa siqhubekele phambili kancane ezinhlangothini eziphambene, sisakaza futhi sisakaza ukubuka kwesixuku.

Bathathe i-Big Seryoga ngamehlo amnyama, izinkophe zayo eziphansi zazibukeka njenge-labia. Nabangane bakhe abaphuzayo. Isizathu kwaba, njengoba kamuva kwavela: ukukhishwa kwesidumbu egumbini elingaphansi, lapho sasike sazama khona ukuphonsa. Isidumbu, kuvela ngemuva kokumuka kwethu, lapho sesenze umsonto wamasonto onke, sanamathela emsebenzini wokushisa okukhulu ngesilinganiso samamilimitha angamakhulu amabili lilinye, isigaxa esiqinile sezintambo futhi sigoqiwe ngesibhaxu, kanye nefilglass…

Umfundi osemncane okungeyena owendawo, ukhahlele obusuku bomshudo egumbini lokufundela labafundi, wagibela ekujuleni kwesisekelo ebhodini elimnyama elaphonswa othile wamanzisa izinyawo zakhe wagxuma ngepayipi, igagasi lacasuka. Umgilwa, engajwayele phansi ukukhanya okukhanya, waphuza wawela eceleni kwesihlahla sokushisa futhi wamhlwitha. Eduze kwesidumbu esintantayo, sagijimisa sangena sangena obishini. Ethinta ithambo lomsila wengane, ikhala. Isidumbu siqhume. Ekuseni, i-ray emnyama yokukhanya ayizange ivimbele ngisho nomphathi ukuthi aphumule. Wayesethola izinsuku ezilahlekile zokuqwasha.

— Lapha? — kubhijwe Big Seryozha.

— Yebo. — Colonel waphendvula emaphoyisa — Fuuu!!, Futhi kunjani kunuka?!

Ithimba elizokhipha izidumbu ezindlini ezingaphansi kwenani labantu abathathu abangenamakhaya abafihlwe emnyango. Amaphoyisa aphela amandla aqala ukuxoxa ngezinkinga zabo zansuku zonke. Ukuthwala imoto kuye phezulu futhi amalungu ayo asondela kumaphoyisa. Futhi iqembu, elaligqoke amabhuzu emishayo, lahamba kancane langena eziphefumulweni zangena egumbini elingaphansi, likhanyisa indlela yalo emalambu angaphambili. UZiqu-zintathu wazungeza efuna okungcono.

— Maphakathi!! Thola iziqalo ze-syud ephezulu!! kubhajwe Kakhulu. Abanye bavele ngamakhanda kuye. — Ahhh?! Yebo, kunesinye isidumbu.

— Ngempela? — ebuzwa emgwaqweni.

— Yebo, kodwa wavuka.

— Ubani?

— Isidumbu sesibili, ingane yaphosa isidumbu ekhanda.

— Awuzange ugwedle?! umphimbo owomile wethanga, mfundi.

— Kungani uxubha? — ashaye uBolshoi. — Mina ngokwami ngibone ukuthi uyiqinise kanjani impukane yakhe.

— Bengicabanga ukuthi uyaphila?! — Ingane yadideka.

— Yini? — Kuqhume iPoland. — Well, Hudula le necrophilia lapha!!

— Ngingamnika ubuso? — Unikeze umuntu wesibili ongenakhaya.

— Noma mhlawumbe wasilahla isidumbu? Futhi uthukile?! — uphakamise owesithathu futhi wabamba izinyane ngohlaka lwethambo. — Hambani, pedophile!!

— Hhayi i-pedophile noma i-necrophile. — alungise ikholoni ahlahle intamo.

Umfana waphendula:

— Cops akuwona umsebenzi, kepha isimo sengqondo. Futhi abangenamakhaya yisimo sabo.

— Smart? — ikoloni laboshwa. -Uzoza nathi njengomsolwa wokubulala futhi uzohlala kuze kuphele uphenyo. Ingene emotweni yalena enenhlanhla.

Ngaleso sikhathi, egumbini elingaphansi, abantu abangenamakhaya bahudulela isidumbu bawaphe amanzi, lapho bekubanjwa khona ipayipi elijikayo. Isidumbu sikuthole kunzima ukuhamba ngomkhumbi. Big wahlangana ngamandla futhi wadonsela ibhulashi. Ibhulashi, ivele yahlala esandleni sikaBig Seryozha. Wabheka ibhulashi wayifaka ephaketheni lakhe, wabamba izinwele zesidumbu wasidonsela kuye.

— Linda Big. — umise umuntu wesibili ongenakhaya. — Ngizokhulula. -besehamba bangene emgodini kuya kwesidumbu.

Ngemuva komzuzwana, isidumbu savela ekuqaleni. Abantu abangenamakhaya bamdonsela phezulu bamphonsa. Izimpumputhe namakhamera ahlangana nekhamera ngokushesha aqala ukumthwebula izithombe kuwo wonke ama-angles, njengasekubonisweni kwamamodeli. Masinyane umthwebuli wezithombe wama wema wabuza.

— Futhi liphi ibhulashi elifanele? wabuza wonke umuntu. Abantu bangenamakhaya babebukana bengakholelwa futhi babuke iBolshoi.

— Kungani ungibheka kanjalo? — akaqondanga.

— Ephaketheni lakho. — wakhumbula umuntu wesibili ongenakhaya.

— Yini, ephaketheni lakho?

— Isandla…

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